Time to Pretend (22 page)

He circled her there the same way he had circled her clit. She sucked air in small, gasping inhalations. Nobody had ever rimmed her before.

Somehow, Alaina hadn’t imagined this as an erotic act, and now she couldn’t breathe because she no longer remembered how to exhale.

Her body trembled, and she barely kept her grip on her knees.

When he flicked his fingertip over her clit, her breath released in a
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long, low moan that sounded a lot like his name. Two long, thick fingers entered her vagina while his thumb pressed against her clit and his tongue seared that tiny ring. She was close, so incredibly close.

Then he stopped, lifting all stimulation away from her body.

Alaina groaned when she realized he wasn’t repositioning himself for something else, and she sat up to find Evan finally removing his clothes. Need darkened the blue of his eyes to a stormy blue-grey.

He sat heavily on her chair and sheathed his cock with a bright green condom, the exact same kind Daniel had used with her only three days beforehand. Now she knew where he got it. Guilt seeped into her heart, dampening the desire for Evan rampaging through her system.

When he held his hand out to her, she hesitated only for a second before accepting it. Guilt had no place in her life. Daniel hadn’t made a single promise. He hadn’t even mentioned that he would see her next week at the final counseling session. She had plans to spend time with Sophia this weekend, not Daniel.

Maybe she was reaching, but Evan was here and now. He said he was addicted to her, and she knew what he meant by it. She couldn’t get enough of him, either. And so she accepted his hand, and she allowed him to guide her closer, not stopping until she straddled him.

He traced her folds with the crown of his penis, teasing her until she couldn’t stand it anymore. With a roll of her hips, she captured him and sank down until he was fully inside. She stayed still, savoring the feel of him and allowing her body to adjust to his large girth.

“I love that look on your face. It’s so hot, Alaina.” Until that moment, she hadn’t been aware that her eyes were closed. They flew open, asking the question she didn’t put into words.

Did he have feelings for her?

Evan’s slow smile triggered an unexpectedly deep response. That connection she felt before, the one she had denied so far, burst to the front of her consciousness.

“I like that look, too.”

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His quiet revelation said so much more than actual words. She had no idea what she was doing or where this was going. Circumstances were stacked against this being anything but temporary. She was ten years older than him. She woke up that morning handcuffed to his best friend. And her younger brother, who was more like a son to her than anything else, had begun a campaign to move in with her that she fully supported.

Alaina tossed aside all of those barriers. She leaned forward, closing the small distance between their mouths. She devoured his lips, pouring everything she felt into that one kiss.

Beneath her, he moved, thrusting upward as she ground against him. Before long, the rhythm spiraled out of control. The kiss faltered and broke, unable to continue when their attention was demanded elsewhere.

The orgasm broke, washing over her in violent waves. She didn’t breathe. For the longest time, she floated along, battered by uncontrollable sensations. As she came down, she realized the reason she couldn’t inhale. Evan held her so tight, he cut off her oxygen. He relaxed his hold as he followed her back to Earth.

His thumb played over the ridges of her lower spine, and he pressed a kiss to her neck. “I want to know everything there is to know about you, Alaina.”

Was this the part where she shattered his illusion? The pessimist in her, the part that looked at the facts and didn’t see a happy ending, took control. “Well, I’m a lot older than you, and I have an eight-year-old brother who is here often enough to warrant his own room.

He’s called me mom on more than one occasion.” Then she stopped speaking. Even her internal pessimist wasn’t willing to ruin things by revealing her involvement with Daniel just yet.

Besides, she didn’t know if that was over. She wasn’t willing to end things with Daniel, but she wanted something with Evan, too. The conflicting wants spun through her head and left her dizzy.

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He pulled his face away from where it lay against her neck, amusement glittering from his eyes and quirking from the corner of his smile. “So you’re mature, big-hearted, and you love kids. Works for me. I have three older brothers, two sisters, and a slew of nieces and nephews. You’ll fit right in.”

Then his lips were on hers again, brushing a light stroke over them before his tongue teased its way inside. Alaina didn’t want it to end.

He carried her up the stairs and to her bed. He set her down gently. His hands explored her body with infinite care and tenderness, and she took her time enjoying and memorizing his body as well.

When he entered her again, there was no doubt in her mind that this was more than just casual sex to him.

And it meant so much more to her, too. She hoped to hell he wouldn’t walk out on her when she got up the courage to tell him about Daniel. It would have to be sooner rather than later.

Between bouts of lovemaking, they spoke of many things, chipping away at opening the doors to many topics while not spending too much time on any one thing.

She fell asleep in his arms, wishing for it to never end even though she knew their time of bliss was doomed to a finite existence.

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Chapter 13

The knock on Alaina’s front door sounded at five-thirty. She glanced at the clock, frowning, before hurrying down the stairs to answer it. Having only been home for ten minutes, she hadn’t even changed out of her work clothes.

She didn’t expect Sophia for another half hour. Given her penchant for being late, Alaina wouldn’t have been surprised if Sophia didn’t show for another hour. Yet, there she was, standing on the front porch dressed in a blue and gold wraparound dress that accentuated her curves nicely. She reminded Alaina of the summer sky.

Pushing open the screen door, she invited Sophia inside. “I just got home. I haven’t had a chance to change.” Sophia grinned. “For once, I’m not the one who’s late.” Alaina’s eyes wandered to the ceiling as she tried to recall the time Sophia said she’d pick her up. “You said six.”

“Oh.” Sophia’s smile morphed from gleeful to bashful. “I meant we had to be at the restaurant at six. No matter. I’m always late. I think people would die of shock if I managed to show up on time.

Drew and I haven’t had a fight about that yet. He thinks it’s an endearing quirk.”

Well-versed in the ways endearing quirks turned annoying, Alaina nodded. “I’ll finish changing so we can go. Make yourself at home.” Sophia followed her up the stairs. Alaina didn’t quite know what to say. When she invited Sophia to make herself at home, none of the likely scenarios that presented themselves included Sophia accompanying her to her bedroom.

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Sophia perched on the edge of the bed and flopped down. “I’m so freaking tired. I don’t know why Drew is making me do this.” Alaina disappeared into the adjoining bathroom. Snagging her makeup bag from under the sink, she began repairing the damage of a long day at work. “What is Drew making you do?” A loud sigh issued from the bedroom. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m looking forward to hanging out with the girls, but this is my first time.

I’ve known Ellen forever, and I feel like I know Ginny better now that I’m working with her, but I don’t know Lara very well. Sabrina, Sammy, and Amanda are all on vacation in Kentucky. I know them all pretty well, but they won’t be there.” When Alaina had first begun counseling the women who attended Sophia’s self-defense classes at Daniel’s studio, Sophia used to come and share her story. From some of the things Sophia had said and some of the comments Daniel had made, Alaina knew that after Sophia’s rape, she cut herself off from friends as well as lovers.

Letting Drew into her life had also opened the door for Sophia to take other emotional risks, like deepening her relationships with friends.

“What’s Drew doing tonight?”

“Working. He has a black-tie event to cater for the CEO of some company. He won’t be home until late.” Sophia appeared in the open doorway, leaning against it in a casual way that reminded Alaina of Daniel. With those spiky heels on her feet, Sophia was nearly as tall as her brother.

“He says it’s healthy to have strong friendships. His mom is a psychologist like you. I think she gives him advice about me.” Names and dates raced through Alaina’s head. “Miranda Snow is his mother?”

“Yeah.” Sophia nodded. Her eyes landed on the tube of mascara in Alaina’s hand. “You know her?”

Miranda Snow had worked with women who were victims of domestic abuse. Alaina had encountered the woman a few times, and
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she had read Miranda’s published works more recently as she edited a colleague’s paper.

“I’ve met her,” Alaina said. “But I haven’t seen her in a few years.”

“She’s retired.” Sophia kicked at the flooring strip separating the bedroom carpet from the bathroom tile. “I think she misses working and is practicing on me.”

“You should invite her to help out on Wednesdays. This is her area of expertise. I work with drunks and drug addicts all day.” It was in that capacity that Alaina had first encountered Miranda Snow.

Some of the women in the shelters needed help with substance abuse issues. While pursuing her doctorate, Alaina had done some work at a shelter where Miranda consulted.

When Sophia said nothing, Alaina added, “I won’t analyze you. I promise.”

A small, reluctant chuckle escaped, more of a snort than anything else. “I’m not worried about that. I feel a little guilty about discontinuing the self-defense classes, but I just don’t have the time I used to have.”

“You shouldn’t feel guilty, Sophia. You’re ready to move on.

That’s a good thing.”

Sophia grinned. “You have analyzed me.” Before Alaina could counter Sophia’s accusation, Sophia tilted her head and continued.

“Have you analyzed Danny?”

Alaina tried to avoid thinking about Daniel too much. A hollow ache formed in her core when she did. She had no idea how to read him. Anything she assumed about him so far had been wildly off. A big part of her wanted to ask him if he would mind sharing her with his best friend. As quickly as the thought appeared, she shoved it away. Men like Evan and Daniel were territorial. There was no way they’d share a woman, especially not one who was older, a bit overweight, and only moderately attractive.

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She threw her mascara back into the bag. “No more than I should.

Why?”

“Are you going to wear that?” Sophia frowned at Alaina’s work clothes. “Don’t you have anything fun? A little black dress?” Alaina motioned to the door behind Sophia. A soft peach dress hung there. The straps that held it in the front multiplied at the shoulder and crossed in the back. The sweetheart neckline was one of the lowest Alaina owned. It would dip to reveal the swell of her breasts.

The hem fell to mid thigh. It had been years since Alaina had the occasion to wear something like this. She looked good in this dress, but it was too risqué for the type of occasions she tended to frequent.

Sophia took it in and dismissed it with a glance. Any semblance of gaiety disappeared. “You should get changed.” She turned to leave the bathroom, but Alaina stopped her with a hand.

“Why don’t you just ask me what you really want to ask me?” Sophia’s hand fisted and relaxed. “I just want to know what you’re doing with Daniel. He seems a lot more serious about you than you seem about him.”

Alaina took a deep breath. It was best to clear the air now. Well, she’d clear it as much as she could. “What has he told you?” She shook her head. “He got drunk Wednesday because you wouldn’t go with us. He’s nervous around you. He’s been quiet and moody. The whole time you were at Sensual Secrets, he kept looking at you like he was checking to make sure you were okay with the situation. I’ve never seen him behave this way.” Alaina didn’t know she had been the cause of his overindulgence, and she refused to feel responsible for it. That was a choice he’d made.

Divorcing herself from her feelings for Daniel, she faced Sophia.

“You’re in love, Sophia. It’s changed you for the better. Your smile is genuine. You don’t mind when people touch you.” Sophia frowned. “I don’t see what this has to do with Daniel.”
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“He spent the summer watching you fall in love. When we came to pick you up from Drew’s house, he was a mess the whole way there. The two of you are close. He had no idea what could have happened to make you have a panic attack.” Out of spite, Alaina had waited until they were near Drew’s house to tell Daniel that setbacks like that were part of the healing process.

She didn’t mention that to Sophia.

“When things turned out well for you, I saw a change in him, too.

He wants what you have. He looks at me, and he sees someone who is stable and mature.” Alaina cringed. “Mature” was never an adjective she pictured herself using to describe her age.

Sophia shook her head. “I don’t understand. He’s crazy about you, Alaina. Every single one of his friends knows about you. You messed with his head something awful.”

“I’m not saying he doesn’t have feelings for me.”
Just that I’m not
sure what those feelings are.
“I’m not saying that I don’t have feelings for him.”

“Then what?” Sophia’s toe tapped impatiently. Her lips pressed together into a grim line.

Daniel was play-acting. The more she thought about it, the more the idea made sense. He never claimed to have feelings for her. He never asked for more than sex. It explained so much, and it made her decision to end things with him a little easier. “I’m not stupid, Sophia.