Time Will Tell (29 page)

‘It must have been hard to leave all this behind,' Jake said, peering into the lens and making adjustments. ‘Do you miss it?'

‘Not often,' she replied with a shrug. ‘Too many bad memories, I guess.'

But she hadn't felt at all uneasy driving around. In fact, she had to admit that she felt really quite at home. Being here had always felt right, it was just that so much had happened.

Her feelings about the place had been shifting since the day she and Barbara had come over.

As Emily unpacked the lunch things, she tried to get her thoughts in order. She loved where she was living, and she'd gone past the point of no return on that. She'd given her word to the brothers, and the surveyors were there right now.

But what if the farm did come to her? Could she see herself living here again?

This house was already done. Could do with a spruce up, but certainly didn't need a full renovation. Emily bit her lip.
I don't know
.

At least she would have somewhere to live while she renovated. No need to beg for the use of her parents' caravan.

‘Here, let me do that,' Jake said, taking the barbeque from Emily and setting it up in a matter of seconds.

‘Thanks,' she said, leaving him to light it while she got Grace some food and water. She smiled at the dog stretched out on the rug; the picture of contentment.

‘You're awfully quiet,' Jake said, turning back from the barbeque.

‘I've just been thinking about what you said.'

‘What's that?' he said, diving into the esky.

‘If I do end up owning this, do you think I should give up on my place and move back here?' As she said it, Emily felt guilty about the plans he'd drawn up potentially being for nothing.

‘I guess it depends on how you feel.'

‘It's weird; I don't feel at all like I thought I would. Driving around today I've actually felt quite at peace with the place.'

‘I don't know, Em. I can't advise you one way or the other. Both places are bound to have pluses and minuses – you just have to weigh them up with how you feel inside. But don't waste energy worrying about it…'

‘I know, I know, the universe will sort it out the way it's meant to be,' she cut in, a little exasperatedly.

‘Exactly. Give it time. Meanwhile, just enjoy this view. You can't read the signs if you're worrying too much.'

Chapter Thirty-two

‘Thanks for bringing me here, Em,' Jake said, staring out to the paddock stretched out below them. ‘It's so peaceful. The perfect place to celebrate New Year's Day. Look at those sheep; not a care in the world.'

‘I've always thought that about sheep,' Emily said. ‘John hated them. Working with them drove him mad; he'd get into such a rage every time.'

‘I wonder why he bothered then.'

‘Money, I guess.'

Grace chose that moment to get up from her snooze. She crouched down, head and tail lowered, and stared at the large white dots slowly moving around in the distance. She was noticeably quivering all over.

‘You stay here, Gracie. No rounding up of sheep for you, my girl,' Emily warned, giving her a pat. But the little border collie seemed to shrug off her attention and remained totally fixated on the sheep.

‘Does she know how to round them up – like properly?' Jake asked, turning the sizzling chops.

Emily glanced at him as he squatted over the barbeque. His jeans were stretched tight across his backside and his rugby top covered his lean back without disguising its definition.

‘No. Well, I don't know. She's never been taught, but she seems to think she does. Grace! Sit. Down. Now!'

Again Emily was ignored. This time she pulled at the dog's collar, dragged her close and pushed her into a sitting position. Grace very reluctantly complied. She whined in objection before lying down with a sigh, resting her chin on her paws.

‘Good girl,' Emily said, and released her hold on the collar. ‘Right, lunch.'

‘Great food; I'm full,' Jake said, putting his plate aside and lying back on the rug.

‘Hmm. How is it that something so simple can taste so good?' Emily said, leaning over him to put her own plate out of reach of Grace. Cooked bones were a no-no for dogs.

‘Must be the good company and the lovely tranquil setting,' Jake said, grabbing Emily and pulling her down on top of him.

They kissed, quickly becoming lost in the moment. When they finally withdrew and sat back up, it was Jake who noticed Grace was missing. ‘Where's Grace?'

‘Oh God.' Emily looked around the immediate area, and then stood up for a more distant view. ‘Look,' she said, pointing ahead with one hand while the other shaded her eyes.

Jake stood up and put a hand to his forehead to block out the bright afternoon sun. ‘Wow. How clever is that?'

There, far below them, were the sheep they'd been watching earlier, only now they were in a tightly formed bunch and moving
en masse
towards them.

Emily laughed. ‘I suppose I should be angry.'

‘Are you sure she isn't trained?'

‘It must be in her DNA or something,' Emily said.

‘Amazing.'

‘Hmm.' Emily was too impressed to call the dog back.

The sheep were now just below them on the last flat area before the scrub and the hill. They watched, mesmerised, as the sheep began circling. Occasionally they caught glimpses of Grace, who was running around circling the large group.

‘Now what's she doing?'

‘Looks like keeping them in the circle or stopping them moving. You probably know as much about this as me.'

‘But you're a farmer,' Jake said, staring at her.

‘No. I was
married
to a farmer – who wouldn't let me help him, remember? I'm just a townie.'

‘Oh.'

‘So what do you reckon we're meant to do with all these sheep staring at us.'

‘No idea.'

They started to giggle. After a few moments they both began calling Grace and slapping their thighs. ‘Come on Gracie. Good girl. Clever girl.'

The dog looked from them to the sheep and back again, clearly very reluctant to leave her charges. She swayed back and forth as if being physically torn between her job with the sheep and loyalty to her mistress. She moved to where she was halfway between the sheep and Jake and Emily, and stood looking back.

‘You can leave them now, girl. Come on,' Emily called.

With one final glance at the sheep, Grace seemed to give a shrug of her shoulders and bounded up the hill. Her tongue was hanging out and she was panting when she got to the top, but she looked very pleased with herself. Farmers often talked about decent work dogs being worth three men and how they absolutely loved working sheep; it was fun to them, not work. Emily had never really believed it; had actually thought it a bit cruel how hard they were worked and treated. Now she could see how wrong she'd been.

She and Jake bent down and made a huge fuss of Grace. There was no point telling her off; the dog clearly thought she'd been doing the right thing rounding up the sheep for them.

‘Was that fun?' she said, ruffling the dog's ears. Grace was squirming about, lapping up the attention. Emily realised she hadn't seen her this excited since she'd left John and the farm, and felt a stab of guilt. She thought she'd been doing the right thing keeping Grace as a pampered pet, but what if in her perceived kindness she was actually being cruel? At least Grace had her for company and wasn't left alone every day. But maybe it wasn't enough.

Grace kept looking back and checking the sheep.

‘I think we'd better get going; she's clearly not going to let this go, and I didn't bring a leash.' Emily could also now see why most farmers kept their dogs chained up or in pens – another thing she'd previously considered cruel.

‘You hold on to her and I'll pack up,' Jake said.

Emily felt guilty watching Jake struggling back down the hill to the car carrying everything except the backpack, which was all she could manage while keeping a tight hold on Grace's collar. She was glad when she had her in the car and could straighten up properly – she was getting a definite crick in her back.

‘I'll give you a massage later,' Jake said, noticing her stretching.

‘I'd like that,' she said.

He hadn't said it in a provocative way, and nor had she, but Emily imagined how good it would be to feel their skin together, not to mention having those lovely strong hands kneading her…

She pictured them starting with a soak together in the big claw foot bath. Perhaps she'd light candles too. Did she have any? Yes, but only plain ones kept in case of blackouts. Emily made a mental note to invest in some scented and coloured candles.

No
, she told herself, trying to rid her mind of the image and her groin of its humming.
We're taking it slowly.
A massage didn't necessarily mean naked, and it wouldn't necessarily lead to sex. Besides, she was
so
not ready to be seen in all her nakedness.

But then she sighed. It was going to happen sooner or later. Jake would see her little pot belly and thick, dimpled thighs; there was nothing she could do about them. No diet, starvation, or punishing exercise regime had ever made a difference. She wondered how she measured up against her stick-thin cousin Elizabeth, or all the other sophisticated Melbourne women he'd most likely dated. Oh well, if he didn't like what he saw – a slightly stout size twelve – then there was nothing she could do about it.

She hoped he would like what he saw, though.

‘What a perfect day,' Jake said, smiling at her. ‘Thank you.'

‘My pleasure,' Emily said, beaming back at him.

‘I think someone's a bit pooped,' he whispered, indicating towards the back seat with his head.

Emily glanced in the rear vision mirror and smiled. Grace was fast asleep across the back seat with what looked like a grin on her face.

‘You're going to have to get her some sheep to play with,' Jake said.

‘Hmm.' Emily replied absently. She was thinking that John would have had a fit. The thought caused a shudder to run through her.

‘You okay? Someone walk over your grave?' Jake asked.

Emily remained silent a few more moments thinking that was exactly what she was feeling.

‘Sorry? No, I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind,' she finally replied.

Again she wondered whether the lives of townies and farmers really could be successfully blended. As a townie, there was so much to learn about life on the land, and she'd been willing to learn. If only John had been willing to teach her, instead of shutting her out.

Had she overreacted about him shooting at Grace? It had been the last straw, the action that finally made her mind up to leave him. Maybe he had been only warning her off, as he'd said. But if so, why then hadn't he demanded she listen to him all those weeks ago; made her understand? Why hadn't he fought for them?

Because he didn't want to
.

Maybe she'd given him the out he'd been waiting for. Emily felt a stab of anger towards him for giving up so easily, but a stronger stab at herself.

You wanted him to be the knight in shining armour, but he didn't know.

Emily sighed. It didn't matter anyway; he'd had his face firmly planted in the bosom of Stacy the buxom barmaid.

Exactly! But why the hell do I still feel so guilty?

Jake interrupted her thoughts. ‘Are you sure you're okay? You're scowling. Have I done something to upset you?'

‘No. As I said, I've just got a lot on my mind.' The words came out snappier than she'd intended. She cast a glance at him. He looked decidedly crestfallen.

She remembered Barbara saying, ‘Men are actually a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for.' Why did life have to be so damned complicated? Having Jake turn up and tell her he loved her should have been magical. Now, instead, she had a bloody farm to sort out and a renovation to get underway. And all she could think about was John. It should have been an exciting time, but it felt as if the sky was falling in on top of her. Was she having some kind of emotional breakdown?

‘I got some great shots,' Jake said, in an obvious attempt to lighten the gloomy mood in the car.

‘That's great,' Emily said, failing to sound enthusiastic.

Emily knew Jake was confused about how she was behaving and was wanting to fix things, but she couldn't find the words to do anything about it.

‘You must be exhausted trying to process all this,' he said.

‘I'm okay,' she snapped slightly.
Why do men always diagnose brooding as tiredness or hormones?

‘Well, I'll cook tonight – you can sit back and relax.'

‘I'm not really hungry.' Emily cursed her sudden cruelness. Where was it coming from? She loved him, didn't she? So why was she being so horrible? Jake was trying to get through to her and she wasn't letting him. She sighed deeply.

‘I'm sorry, Jake. You're right; I am tired. It is a lot to process. I know the possibility of inheriting all of this should be good,' she said, ‘but it's making me think about things I don't want to think about. It's making me question everything.'

‘You mean whether you did the right thing leaving John in the first place? What might have been?'

Emily nodded.

‘Maybe you need to talk about it; let it out.'

He was probably right, but it didn't seem right or fair to unload onto him about her ex. Wasn't that one of the absolute no-nos of a first date?

‘Probably.'

‘Barbara told me he really wasn't very nice. And from what you've said…'

‘Aren't we all guilty of that sometimes?'

‘Yes, but she said he could be cruel. And the cottage…'

God, just how much has Barbara told him?
Annoyance crawled slowly up her spine. She tried to push it back.