Authors: Fiona McCallum
âWhy don't we have a quiet lunch somewhere, just the three of us, and only inflict the city properly on Emily to drop by my place,' Jake said to Simone, and then to Emily, âI'm sure you're finding Melbourne pretty overwhelming after Wattle Creek.'
âWell it
is
very different from what I'm used to,' she said with a laugh, attempting to appear upbeat. She didn't want to sound like the country bumpkin, but she couldn't help what she was. âBut I would love to see where you live.'
âActually,' Jake said, checking his watch, âI'd better get going if I'm to get organised before the funeral. I'll come back and collect you both at three.' He drained his mug and got up. âEm, are you happy for me to book flights for both of us for Monday?'
âYes, thanks. And that reminds me. Simone, I still owe you for yesterday's flights. Can we go via an ATM?'
âSure, but why don't I give you my account details and you can do a direct deposit when you get back home? Safer than carting cash around.'
âOkay, great, thanks.' Emily tried not to shudder at the thought of pickpockets and having her handbag stolen. But that's what happened in big cities, wasn't it? Monday couldn't come soon enough. Hopefully there were plenty of flights available. She mentally crossed her fingers.
Simone and Emily walked Jake out to his car â a silver Volkswagen Golf hatch parked behind Simone's BMW. Out on the nature strip he hugged Simone.
âThanks for breakfast Sim, and for bringing Em.' He kissed her on the forehead and released her. Then he pulled Emily towards him.
âThank you so much for being here. I really do love you. We'll work out fine, we just need more time together.'
Emily's heart soared as they waved him off.
Emily found it very unsettling to be attending a funeral for someone she didn't know; she felt like she was intruding. She wondered how Donald and Trevor's had gone â it would have finished a few hours ago. Everyone would most likely still be at the wake.
She'd left a message on her parents' answering machine telling them she'd arrived safely, all was fine, and that she'd be back late Monday and would be in touch then. She didn't mention she was bringing Jake with her; that would be sure to cause Enid to check flight times and turn up with a welcoming casserole the second they arrived home. Her mother would probably start dropping in regularly when she heard he was there. Oh well, she'd just have to be strong and re-draw the boundaries if necessary. But Emily couldn't think about that now, she had Jake to take care of.
Cars lined the streets for miles back from the church. By the time they arrived, they were starting to puff from having to jog to avoid being late.
They joined a throng of people outside the large bluestone church. Many were men ranging in age from their early twenties to late forties. Emily assumed them to be construction workers that Shane, the deceased man, had worked with over the years. Jake nodded, shook hands, and mumbled quiet greetings to a few. He clearly knew some of the mourners, but not very well. She knew he liked to be hands-on with his business, but she imagined there wouldn't be much need for him to interact with labourers on a day-to-day basis.
The church was already overflowing when they arrived and a young lad in a black suit was setting up speakers on spindly tripods for those unable to be accommodated inside. Emily gazed around, taking it all in. She'd never been to a city funeral before, where so many apparent strangers stood in silence waiting for the service to start.
At most of the funerals she had attended, everyone huddled in groups chatting before the service, swapping their woes or elation at the progressing season, the change in commodity prices, or sharing gossip; filling in time before proceedings got under way. Country funerals often tended to be quite upbeat; a social occasion attended by all.
She and Simone stood on each side of Jake, and he put his arms around their shoulders. He kissed them both on the side of the head.
âThanks for this, you guys,' he said in a slightly croaky voice.
He was back to looking fatigued and drawn â even worse than when he'd turned up for breakfast. He kept wiping the palms of his hands down his trousers. Nerves, stress; poor guy, Emily thought.
It was cool in the shade of the church surrounded by stone and concrete. She pulled her light jacket tighter and checked her watch â the service should have started a few minutes ago.
Finally a voice boomed from the large black box nearby. The service had begun.
It lasted about twenty minutes, and followed the format Emily was used to; sermon and eulogy divided by two hymns. The eulogy contained a few amusing anecdotes about Shane's larrikin nature, and a summary of his short life. At least he hadn't left a girlfriend, wife or partner and kids behind.
She found herself thinking the same about Donald and Trevor, even though they were so much older. She closed her eyes and offered a silent goodbye and apology for not attending their joint funeral. She thanked them for giving her a place to live at a time when it felt like her whole world was collapsing.
And then those outside were parting like a sea as the casket was wheeled out and then carried down the steps to the waiting hearse. There was an announcement that the burial was to be in the churchyard behind, and an instruction to follow the hearse on its short journey.
Jake, Simone and Emily joined the crowd walking slowly after the car.
A few hundred metres in, the hearse stopped and the pallbearers assembled behind it. In front, a large group of men in white hardhats and brightly coloured safety vests lined the path to form a guard of honour.
As the casket was carried through the two rows of men, each man took off his hat, put it to his chest, and bowed. Emily choked up at the sight. She stole a glance at Jake and saw him wipe a tear from his cheek. She put her arm around him and offered a sympathetic smile.
They hung back against the huge pine trees that flanked the perimeter of the large graveyard and watched as the throng fell in behind the casket.
While she couldn't see the actual grave plot, Emily thought she could smell the damp, slightly acidic scent of recently excavated earth. It was something she recognised all too well.
Around ten minutes later the minister declared, âAshes to ashes, dust to dust.' The service was over. The mourners formed two long lines and began shuffling slowly forward to pay their final
respects.
âGo on,' Simone urged Jake.
âBut it will take forever,' he said. He looked hesitant, but also like he wanted to participate.
âWe've got all day.'
âIf you're sure?' He looked from Simone to Emily.
âYou take all the time you need,' Emily said kindly. âWould you like us to go with you?'
âNo, I think I need to do this bit alone,' he said.
âWe'll be right here,' Simone said, giving his arm a squeeze.
They watched as, with head lowered, he slowly made his way towards the end of the closest line, nodding greetings to people as he went.
When he returned ten minutes later he looked totally bereft, and had two lines of shiny tears staining his face. Emily put her arm around him, but he didn't respond; just stood limply beside them. Soon more people with drooped heads, tear-streaked faces, and grim expressions began to flock past.
âWe'd better get going â the traffic will be bedlam,' Jake said with a sigh.
âAre you sure there's no one you want to catch up with?' Simone asked, looking around.
âNo, I'd like to just go if that's okay,' he said quietly.
âOf course. Come on,' Simone said. She and Emily fell in on either side of him as they strode out of the cemetery, taking a shortcut back towards the car rather than going all the way around to the front of the church and down the street. They walked in silence.
Emily was trying not to think about her gran and John. She needed to stay strong and supportive for Jake.
God I miss home.
She thought of the comfort she got from the button jar and wished she had it with her.
They slumped into the car, Simone in the back and Emily beside Jake in the front. She closed her eyes for a moment and drank in the comforting warmth from the lovely bright sunshine coming through the windows. In a few minutes it would be too warm, but for now it was nice. Jake sat with his hands on the steering wheel. She put a hand on his thigh and turned to him.
âAre you okay?'
He nodded. âYes.' He nodded again, more emphatically. âYes I am. You're right, both of you,' he said, looking at Emily and then Simone in the rear vision mirror. âI did need to go. Thank God Shane didn't have a partner or kids,' he added, shaking his head sadly.
Thank God for small mercies
, Emily thought. Another one of Gran's sayings.
âWhat do you want to do now?' Simone asked.
âHead back to your place. Beyond that, no idea,' Jake said.
âWhy don't you stay, hang out? We can order pizza later and watch a DVD or two. What do you say?'
âSounds like a plan.' He turned the key and put the car in gear.
There was a lot of traffic around them and they had to wait ages before being able to exit their cramped parking space. They snaked their way through the narrow streets and finally back onto the freeway. Once they were in the steadily flowing traffic, their trip seemed to go very quickly.
Emily had closed her eyes and was just beginning to fall asleep from the gentle movement of the car when she felt the vehicle stop and heard doors being opened. She reluctantly got out and followed Simone and Jake inside the house. They gravitated towards the kitchen where Simone filled the kettle.
âRight, who's for a cuppa?' she asked.
âTea, thanks,' Emily said.
âMe too,' Jake said.
âI'll get it; you two go get settled in the lounge.'
Emily followed Jake and sat down at the other end of one of the two plush floral couches.
âYou okay?' he asked, touching her hand.
âI'm fine,' she said with a sigh. âJust a bit sad and reflective â funerals will do that,' she added, offering him a wan smile. âGod, I'm sick of funerals. That's the fourth one in the last two months.'
âWell, I really appreciate you being here for me.'
âI always will be, Jake,' she said, looking directly into his sad hazelnut eyes.
âHow do you think he is?' Simone asked as she closed the front door later that night.
Emily shrugged. Jake had seemed a little brighter, but the shadow of sadness was still well and truly upon him. âProbably okay, considering,' she said.
âHmm.'
Lying in bed ten minutes later, Emily thought about what she could do to help him once they got back to the Eyre Peninsula. If only there was a project the two of them could do together. She'd love nothing more than to work side by side with him on something.
But he'd probably need some space â both physical and emotional â to process things.
She decided she would set him up in the spare room. As much as she wanted them to fall straight into a passionate love affair, it wouldn't be right. For things to work out with Jake, their relationship had to evolve without being used as a crutch for his current delicate emotional state â or hers. She vowed to stay strong and keep the physical side of things at bay until he seemed more himself. Tough, but it had to be done. And with that thought, she rolled over and went to sleep.
*
The next morning Simone showed her more of her suburb, pointing out landmarks and favourite spots. She showed Emily the Queen Victoria market, right on the edge of Melbourne's CBD. It seemed to go on forever; a city in itself! Emily tried to show some enthusiasm, but she couldn't shake the growing feeling of homesickness. She was missing Grace and Barbara and David.
As much as Wattle Creek's small-town ways drove her nuts, it was familiar, and, on the whole, friendly. She liked being able to walk down the street and not have people literally bumping into her. Despite having Simone beside her, she was feeling lonely, as well as sad. And stressed; people were rushing about everywhere.
Why is everyone in such a hurry on a Sunday? And how can this walking possibly be considered relaxing?
At home she enjoyed the exercise value of walking at a brisk pace, but relaxation was also an important part of her daily walk. Here she had to keep her wits about her, checking all the time she wasn't about to bump into someone or get hit by cars or cyclists. They were everywhere!
And the noise! Here, instead of the rustle of trees, squawk of birds and flapping of wings, was the hoot of car horns, shout of traders, squealing of trams on tracks and dinging of their bells. It was all quite nerve-racking.
Emily was relieved when finally Simone announced they were heading back. Not only was she struggling with the noise and activity around her, the place smelt weird; sort of dank, mouldy. Sour. And of car exhaust fumes.
She counted the hours until their flight and then felt a little guilty. She'd enjoyed spending time with Simone, but she couldn't wait to leave this big, scary city. She really couldn't understand why people would choose to live in such a place. Perhaps if you liked to shop and had money to spend⦠She found herself wondering why Jake lived in the CBD. He didn't strike her as a huge shopper.
Back at Simone's they showered and dressed, and had just settled in to read the Sunday paper when the doorbell rang. Emily checked her watch; surely it wasn't that late already. But it was. He was right on time.
Jake drove them to a café on the edge of a park.
More bikes and lycra-clad riders!
He said the suburb was Malvern, which meant nothing to Emily. She hadn't been able to follow their direction and was feeling quite disorientated. The city skyline was still quite close, but she had no idea which side of it and Simone's house they were. All the shiny, tall buildings looked the same.