Timing (235 page)

give you a ride back before anyone attacks you again.”

My head snapped up. “You saw that?”

He smiled, leaning forward to give me his hand. “Yessir, I saw

that,” he told me. “Which is why I nearly rode him down on my way to

you.”

“Rand, he just––”

“C’mere,” he ordered me. “Hurry up.”

I grasped his warm, callused hand, and he hauled me up behind

him.

“Put your arms around me.”

“I shouldn’t,” I told him. “Everyone will see.”

“See what?”

“How much I’ll be enjoying it.”

His rumbling laughter made me smile as he looked at me over his

shoulder. “Hold on tight, Stef. I don’t wanna lose you.”

My thighs were plastered behind his, my arms wrapped around

him, and I rested my cheek between his shoulder blades.

“Tighter.” His voice came out as a rasp.

I clutched at him, and I felt his hand over mine, his fingers

between my fingers, pressing my palm over his heart so that I could

feel his pulse through the flannel shirt.

“Call whoever you have to but promise me you’ll come back here

with me tomorrow after the wedding and stay here, just for a week or

so.”

Timing

97

But how could I promise that when my life was in Chicago?

“Stef?”

“I’ll see.”

He was silent as we rode, just holding my hand until he cautioned

me to stop squirming if I didn’t want to be pulled into the barn and

thrown down in the hay.

“That sounds really hot,” I assured him.

“It’s not actually,” he growled at me, “it itches.”

How matter of fact the man was in the face of passion made me

smile.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing,” I squeezed him tight, heard his grunt when I did it

before his deep sigh.

I made him drop me off at the end of the drive and watched him

ride away. I had no idea what he really expected me to do, while at the

same time I wondered what I was capable of. I was normally so in

control when it came to sex. I had been called cold, aloof, and distant,

but I couldn’t manage to be anything but shockingly eager whenever

Rand got near me. What the hell was I supposed to do?

IT WAS the evening I was certain Charlotte had hoped for, wished for.

There was music and dancing and food… so much food. It was all so

warm—the picnic tables with the red gingham tablecloths, the

wildflower bouquets on every table, the pitchers of sun tea—the

rehearsal dinner was more like a big family gathering than a planned

event. Everyone got caught smiling. Even Ben’s father, whose

comments about Charlotte’s family had disturbed me, was touched by

the charm of the ranch. There was no way to miss the beauty, the

quality of life that had not changed in five generations, and the strength

and character of the man who owned it and the men who worked it.

98

Mary Calmes

Ben’s father, along with everyone else, was impressed with the Red

Diamond Ranch.

Later, as I watched Charlotte and her brother dancing, I took in

the fluid way the man moved, the play of muscles under his shirt, and

the way his jeans hugged his firm, round ass. When our eyes locked, I

realized that I had been caught not only staring, but probably salivating.

His smile and his narrowed eyes told me that he was pleased. I took

quick refuge in the house, but it was a mistake. Had I not run, the

torture would not have been instigated.

Later in the evening, while I was having a slice of red velvet cake,

listening to Charlotte’s uncle talk about the day she was born and what

her Daddy had said to him, Rand moved in beside me. The bite I was

ready to eat was taken from me, along with the fork.

He smiled lazily, brushing against me. “It’s good, ain’t it?”

I could feel the warmth radiating off him. “Sorry?”

“Don’t you think?”

Any thought that had been in my head had been abandoned the

second he smiled at me.

“Stef?”

“What?”

“The cake?”

“Cake?”

“Yeah.” His smile made his eyes sizzle. “The cake you’re eating.

It’s really good.”

Watching him eat off my plate was what had been good.
The

muscles in his jaw, the line of his throat, the way he licked his lips—all

of it combined had short-circuited my brain.

He leaned forward, his voice dropping low. “You like watching

me.”

“Yessir, I do,” I said, licking my lips, my eyes narrowing in half.

“And you like looking at me, too, don’t you?”

He sucked in his breath. “Yes, I do.”

Timing

99

“Good,” I said before I levered myself off the wall and walked

back toward the house.

“Where are you going? I thought you were gonna play with me?”

He sighed when he caught me at the back door with a hand on my

bicep.

I looked down at his hand on my arm. “Can’t do this out here

where someone might see us. What would they say?”

“Who?”

“Anyone.”

“Jesus, Stef you don’t have to get all serious alluva sudden. Do

you even know how to play?”

“So this is a game?” I clarified with a chill in my voice.

“You’re bein’ an ass.”

“Let go.”

“No.” He smiled at me, tightening his grip, stepping in close to

me so his chest was against my shoulder and I had to tilt my head back

to hold his gaze. “I ain’t lettin’ go.”

“You have to,” I assured him, and for some reason I was flooded

with sadness.

His eyes locked on mine and when I eased out of his grip, he did,

after all, let me go.

MUCH to Charlotte’s annoyance, no one was leaving. I knew she

wanted her quiet alone time with me, but by eleven, two hours after the

dinner had officially ended, the entire wedding party and a few assorted

cousins were still sitting around in Rand’s living room. I was stretched

out on the couch, listening to everyone talk and laugh, the alcohol

making for interesting conversation.

“Here you go, guys,” Ben said as he took a seat beside me, having

used getting another round of beers as an opportunity to swap places. I

100

Mary Calmes

knew that sitting next to strangers made him uncomfortable, he wasn’t

a big extrovert. He felt better flopping down between me and Charlotte.

“Thanks,” I said, liking the way his thigh rested against mine. It

spoke volumes about how comfortable he was with me. The fact that I

was gay and he wasn’t didn’t matter in the least.

“I should have brought clothes with me too,” he groused, turning

his head to look at me.

I shrugged, feeling good. I had taken a shower and was now

sitting there in a white cotton button-down, white T-shirt, and jeans,

barefoot, with my arms back over the seat; I was ready to drink or talk

or do whatever anyone wanted. I was at their disposal.

“Tell me again what’s with the dress shirt,” Charlotte pressed me.

“I told you, I’m short clothes.”

“Which has like never ever happened to you before, care to

explain?”

“I’m getting old and forgetful.”

Her scowl was immediate, and she would have said something,

but the doorbell chimed and Clarissa got up to get it. She returned

leading four women into our midst. It turned out to be Charlotte’s

cousin Bethany, from Lubbock, and she had brought three friends with

her.

“Those are the girls I told you about,” Charlotte said under her

breath, leaning forward to talk to her brother, who sat beside the couch

in an overstuffed wingback chair. “At least two of them might actually

want to live way out here in the boonies with you, cowboy, so don’t

mess up.”

He laughed at her. “Is that right? You’re setting me up the night

before you get married?”

“A true matchmaker never sleeps,” she assured him, inhaling.

“Well, at least you smell good for once, not like horses.”

The man’s scent was a hundred times better than good. The aroma

of musk and soap was rolling off him. He looked and smelled good

enough to eat.

Timing

101

“Well, let’s bring on the buffet.” Rand waggled his eyebrows at

her, his eyes flicking to mine before returning to his sister.

“Here,” Ben yawned, shoving a Wii controller into my hand. “I

wanna kick your ass at tennis again, alright?”

“I’m sorry?” I asked him, grinning as I stood up. “When did you

kick my ass before?”

As I played, I could not stop glancing over at Rand. His smile

made the corner of his eyes crinkle, the blue itself glowing a deep

turquoise. One of the girls, Gillian, a pretty brunette with creamy olive

skin and big dark eyes, put her hand on his forearm as she talked to him

about hunting. Apparently, she wanted him to take her. She preferred to

hunt wild boar, but whitetail deer or mule interested her as well. He

seemed pleasantly surprised as he listened to her talk about growing up

on a ranch.

“Christ, Stef, are you even paying attention?”

I wasn’t, no. When my eyes flicked back to Rand and the woman

who wanted to bear his children, I was startled to find him staring.

“Can I play the winner?” he asked me.

I swallowed to make sure I could speak. “Sure.”

“Come on,” he said as he invited all the girls to sit behind us on

the couch. As he walked by me, he put a hand in my hair, rubbing the

back of my head quickly, gently, and the touch, coupled with the

warmth in his eyes, made my heart hurt.

Ben beat me because I could not focus to save my life. I took a

seat on the floor, not wanting to wedge myself in between the girls, and

when Rand lost as well, he sank down beside me. When the girls

offered to make room for him, he shook his head, leaning his knee into

mine.

“I’m good here,” he assured them before he leaned sideways, his

mouth hovering close to my ear. I could feel his moist breath down the

side of my neck. “Don’t worry, baby, you’re the only thing here I’m

interested in.”

102

Mary Calmes

Baby?
I sucked in my breath. On what planet was I worried?

When my head swiveled to look at him, he waggled his eyebrows for

me.

“You should see your eyes,” he whispered, his smile making his

eyes glitter. “How pissed off are you?”

I got up quickly to go to the kitchen.

“Hey, Stef,” Rand called after me, “bring me back another beer,

will you?”

“Me too,” Ben chimed in. “Thanks, hon.”

I shot Rand a look over my shoulder, and he snorted out a laugh. I

hit the swinging kitchen door with both hands. He would be lucky if I

came back without a firearm. I was standing out on the enclosed porch

when I heard a sound from behind me. Rand was slouching in the

doorway when I turned to look.

His eyes were hot, and I saw the muscles working in his jaw. “I

had no idea you were so possessive, Mr. Joss.”

“I already told you that I don’t like to be teased and I don’t like to

be laughed at.”

“Yeah, well, so what?” he shrugged. “You need to learn not to

take yourself so goddamn serious and stop bein’ such a pain in the ass.”

My eyes were huge as I looked at him.

“Stop tryin’ to push me away ’cause I’m crazy about you.”

What was the proper response for that?

“You could say you’re nuts about me too.”

“That’s awfully presumptuous,” I said without thinking.

He chuckled, moving closer. “Jesus, how did I ever fall for such a

cold-hearted man?”

I was often accused of having no heart at all, because even though

my friends saw it, the men I went to bed with never did.

“Shit, you’re too cool for me, Stefan Joss.”

I just stood there staring at him as he got closer and closer.

Timing

103

“Or maybe not huh? Maybe you’re not as unaffected as you

pretend to be.”

I cleared my throat. “Better get back to the girls, Rand,” I said,

shoving my hands in my jeans, taking a quick breath. “They’ll be

missing you.”

“Shut up,” he growled at me, hands on my shoulders so I couldn’t

bolt. “God, I’ve never met anyone who needed a kick in the ass more

than you.”

I stared up into his eyes as he slowly lifted his hand and placed

his palm on my cheek.

“You think I’m like all those others guys that can’t really see you

but I’m not. I know you better than that. I’ve seen you with Charlotte

and my family, I watched you save Ben the other day, put yourself

between him and my idiot cousin and with me…God, Stef, with me

you’re so gentle and sweet––”

“Now wait,” I warned him, trying to tug away from him to no

avail. He was not letting go. “I may be many––”