Tin Hats and Gas Masks (12 page)

Annie had bought a riding-hat and jodhpurs in Bushton, carefully requesting the money from her parents and making a great point of the number of times she rode Janet’s sister’s horse, Flash, and borrowed her gear. She kept these at Janet’s house, their supposed riding activities
provided the best excuse for being out all day, and sometimes Annie wished she really was going riding with Janet. I’ll teach Johnny to ride when we are married, she thought.

She dreamed of her wedding to Johnny one day in the future, maybe when I’m nineteen or twenty, she thought, and she hugged the knowledge of his love to herself. Not that he had actually said: ‘I love you, Annie,’ but then she didn’t expect him to. He had asked her to marry him, and she relived that moment in the deserted street often, and treasured the memory.

Janet sometimes asked what they did all day. ‘Can’t be much fun being out with a boy like Johnny,’ she said once. ‘I mean, he’s not exactly tall, dark and handsome, is he?’

‘I don’t like tall, dark, handsome men,’ Annie replied, without any knowledge of men at all, ‘and there’s much more to Johnny than you would imagine from his appearance. He’s very quick-witted, tremendous fun, ever so kind. Johnny wouldn’t hurt a fly, however he carries on. And he doesn’t swear now – well, only occasionally when he’s sort of thrown off balance.’

On the few occasions when Annie did actually go riding she enjoyed it tremendously, and one Sunday a few weeks later the girls took a packed lunch and set off with the horses.

After an exhilarating gallop over the moor and a leisurely lunch, they quietly made their way home. They were in the lane leading back to Winchurch when a car raced past. Startled, both horses became skittish, but the girls calmed them and went on. Within a few seconds there was another car, then came one at normal speed, which did
slow down, then, as both girls acknowledged the courtesy, another car rushed past them and Flash reared, unseating Annie and throwing her into the ditch.

She lay there stunned for several seconds, then someone leapt in and crouched down beside her. She heard Janet’s voice faintly in the distance, then a man said, ‘We’ll have you out of there in a moment. Can you move your limbs?’ His hand reached for the back of her neck, and gently felt her all over. ‘Nothing seems to be broken so give me your hands and I’ll help you up.’

Annie’s first concern was for Flash, but Janet, looking pale and shaken, and holding her horse’s reins said she would go after him now she knew Annie wasn’t badly injured and needing an ambulance. Sitting on the verge and feeling bruised and battered but relieved to be in one piece, Annie said, ‘It was those cars, they must have been having a race or something. They whizzed by. Flash is a docile and steady horse usually, very placid. I do hope he’s all right.’

‘Your friend has gone after him. I’m Doctor Morgan from Bushton. Once I have checked you over properly I’ll contact the police; those madmen were escaping from something. They tore past me, but when I reached you your animals were fine, then suddenly the third car came up behind. I suspect he was one of them. I suddenly saw him in my mirror and looked back to see you go into the ditch. Now, do you think you can make it to the car or would you like me to carry you over?’

‘I can make it,’ she said. ‘It’s so kind of you. Are you on your way to a patient, though?’

‘No. I’ve just left one, so there’s no urgency. I’ll take you home first.’

‘But Flash—’

‘I’ll go and look for your friend once you are safely back.’

She directed him to Janet’s house. As they approached they saw Janet leading both horses through the gate leading into the field. Tears ran down Annie’s cheeks with the relief of knowing the horse was unhurt and back in his field. Dr. Morgan took her home to Kerry Avenue, where, with Mrs Dover as chaperon, he examined her in the privacy of her bedroom. She was feeling pretty tender and sore by then, but the doctor said she had bruised her ribs and would suffer pain from this for several weeks, but that everything was in place and no lasting damage had occurred. He telephoned the police station from the Dovers’ house before accepting a cup of tea and going on his way.

The accident did have one good point because it convinced her parents and the Dovers that she really did go riding with Janet. She felt guilty about her deceit, but if it was a question of seeing Johnny or not seeing Johnny, then there was no choice for her.

On the Saturday she went off to meet him as usual, and this time a visit to Janet’s cousin was again her excuse for being away all day. She felt very stiff although she pretended she wasn’t.

Johnny was filled with concern. She couldn’t hide her pain from him, having winced when he greeted her with a hug.

‘I hope they catch those bloody crooks,’ he said, ‘they could have maimed you for life or even killed you. God, Annie, it don’t bear thinking about. If the horse had gone in the ditch with you he would have crushed you—’

‘But he
didn’t
, Johnny, and, apart from some aches and pains for a few weeks I’m fighting fit. And I have already started looking round for a job for when I leave school. If I can’t find something in Winchurch I’ll try Bushton. Come on now, tell me all your news. How’s your mum and dad? Any news from your brothers? And what are we going to do today?’

Gently he put his hand up to her hair and, with infinite tenderness, stroked it rhythmically, ‘Whatever you want to. But no running and jumping, that I forbid today.’

‘Poo, bloody poo,’ she answered, and although it hurt her like mad, she was glad to see the worry disappear from his face as they both rocked with laughter.

Johnny had settled into a routine again after a few months back at his London school. Gradually he infiltrated the groups in his class and was accepted.

There was a bit of bawdy teasing when word got around that he was seeing a girl at the weekends, and he countered this with a few saucy jokes and an attitude that they were simply jealous because he seemed to have what they wanted to try. In any case none of them knew Annie and they weren’t even sure if it was true.

Once he did get involved in a fight, which started when the remarks became really dirty. Johnny had been brought up to respect women and old people and beneath his banter this was something he did. Although smaller than the other boy, Johnny was nimble and after jigging around
him and not landing any punches for several minutes he ducked smartly beneath a below-the-belt one that he saw coming, with the result that the other boy shot forward on to the ground. There were cheers and jeers as he scrambled to his feet, and mopped a bleeding lower lip with a rather grubby handkerchief.

The school bell clanged then and an almost unscathed Johnny was slapped heartily on the back as they made their way inside the school.

The war was nearly four years old and he knew he would have to wait another three or four before he could officially get into the fray, if it lasted that long. The allies were making headway in North Africa and every night the entire family were quiet to listen to the news and wonder about Jim and Ron.

There had been more bombing in London during the early months of the the year but not on the scale of the blitz. One of the casualties in January was a junior school in Catford where he learned that two of their cousins had been killed.

‘Poor Jill,’ Mrs Bookman said, rubbing at her already red-rimmed eyes, ‘and their father over there somewhere fighting for peace. It don’t bear thinking about.’

She came into Johnny’s room when he was getting ready for bed that night.

‘Here’s yer clean socks fer tomorrer, son,’ she said, then leaned over and kissed him – something she had stopped doing at his request when he was about seven. Remembering his aunt and cousins, he didn’t brush her away.

Easter wasn’t until almost the end of April that year and Johnny became impatient to earn some real money. He left school and went to work in the same factory as his mother.

‘But she’s making bits for planes and I’m sweeping up the store,’ he told Annie with a wry grin. He gave half his wages to his mother and spent the rest taking Annie out. Mrs Bookman continued to buy his clothes and the situation suited him well.

Annie too left school at Easter, and obtained a job in Bushton, serving in a music shop. She discussed the matter of staying on with the Dovers and paying for her lodgings rather than trying to find herself a place in Bushton. She knew that could prove difficult and she also reasoned that her parents would probably allow her to remain at a place they knew and approved of. Mrs Dover had grown fond of the girl and even her husband agreed that Anita Evesham on her own was no bother.

Her mother, however, did not approve of her prospective job.

‘A shop assistant,’ she said huffily, on the phone.

‘In a first-class musical establishment,’ Annie said, ‘where I have the opportunity to meet some of the world’s best musicians.’

Mrs Evesham, although she never suggested her daughter come home, tried to prevent her from working there, but Annie called her bluff.

‘What alternative are you offering, Mummy?’ she asked.

‘Further education, of course. Especially in the social graces.’

‘No.’ Annie was unexpectedly firm. ‘I can officially leave school and I intend to. If you can suggest a post for me in London I’ll think about that, but I won’t consider finishing-school. I want to work now until I’m old enough to join the Wrens.’

That was a second shock for her mother. ‘The war will be over before that time comes, but if it isn’t, and it is a very big if, Anita, then we shall see about getting you a high-ranking position.’

Annie laughed. ‘I shall start at the bottom and work my way up. I don’t want privileges. Life’s more fun without them.’

She won her point and contined to live with the Dovers, offering them two shillings more than they had been receiving from the government. Her weekly allowance stayed the same as before and it was lack of coupons rather than money that prevented her from buying more than a couple of blouses and a nice black skirt for work. Mrs Dover’s offer to make her a going out dress with material bought in Bushton market was welcomed. They also bought some curtain-net which was not on coupons to make a lacy blouse.

‘I’ll pay you back for doing this, of course,’ Anita said, but Mrs Dover would not accept anything.

‘I enjoy a bit of sewing, used to make most of Alison’s clothes when she was a girl and the sewing machine needs to earn its keep.’

Annie travelled to Bushton each day on the train, mostly because she was accustomed to it and she didn’t want the bother of finding lodgings in Bushton. More so because she
didn’t know how long she would stay in her job. She thought of it as a stepping-stone. She enjoyed what she did, and could converse well with the customers whether they were buying a piano or a mouth-organ. If it was a piano old Mr Jones the manager, used to hover and eventually take over.

It was great having the sheet-music to look at, too. Annie could play the piano passably, but as the Dovers did not possess an instrument she hadn’t had an opportunity since 1939. Johnny had never learnt, ‘but it’ll be handy that you can play when we have a party,’ he told her. ‘That’s if we can run to a joanna after we’re married, gal.’

They still only met once a week, on a Sunday now, because both of them were working on Saturdays. One Sunday Johnny said, ‘Thought we could go to my home for a meal today. Mum’s looking forward to seeing you again.’

The visit was pleasant and she didn’t have time to feel nervous about it. Mrs B was exactly as she remembered her from the time of Johnny’s twelfth birthday, and after their meal she and Johnny walked in Victoria Park and he talked about when he was a little boy and played football where the barrage balloons were now anchored, and as a special treat, went to the zoo there. All too soon it seemed it was time for Annie to return to Winchurch. They went again a couple of times during the next few months, but only for a quick visit and a cup of tea because they were in the area. She found his dad hard to understand, although he made her welcome, but she
warmed to his hard-working mum.

She continued her weekly letter to her parents, and occasionally telephoned them now that she was earning, but she had never suggested taking Johnny to her house, and he was very glad about that.

Twice a week Annie attended night-school in Bushton to learn shorthand and typing. Just before Christmas she found a suitable job in a publisher’s office in London.

‘I’ll only be making the tea and doing the post at first,’ she told Johnny. ‘My shorthand is almost non-existent and my typing isn’t up to the standard they would need yet, but I’ll work on it. The important thing is that I’ll be in London.’

She did not want to return home to live – she was adamant about that. For all these years now she had fended for herself in all but the practicalities of life. Both at the boarding-school and later in Winchurch. She did not think she could cope with life with her parents now, without a lot of stress for them all. There would be arguments, and, more important, she knew she would be greatly curtailed in her social arrangements.

Although they never said it in so many words, Annie knew her parents didn’t want her at home either. It would disrupt their lives, especially her mother’s, she thought. She had been away so long, and since her evacuation to the country she had not even returned for school holidays, as she had done before the war.

She and Johnny discussed where she would live. He wanted to ask his mother if Annie could lodge with them, but she hesitated. ‘You haven’t much room, anyway,
Johnny, and I wouldn’t want you sleeping on that bedchair permanently, it wouldn’t be right. Then there’s the fares to think about. It will be much better if I find something near to my job. A hostel or something not too expensive to start with. I thought about trying for a job in a department store because I understand that some of them have their own hostels for their girls, but I doubt my parents would allow that. An office job though, that would be acceptable, I think.’

Although she didn’t say so to him, Annie also wondered if she could live in such a poky house as his. She loved it on the few occasions she had visited for the day. There was a friendly warmth that was missing in her own background, but to live there all the time might not work out. Annie Evesham, you are what Johnny would call a bloody snob, she thought, and laughed to herself.

She secured the job and, by adding a couple of years to her age, a place at a small hostel, before she told her parents about it. It was touch and go for her because her mother came down to Winchurch the day she received Annie’s letter with this news. Thank heaven she had sent it the beginning of a week she thought, because if it had arrived on a Saturday and Mrs Evesham had travelled to Kerry Avenue then and stayed the night it would have thrown her Sunday arrangements with Johnny out. And with no way of getting in touch with him it could have been chaotic. He might even have turned up at Kerry Avenue. Of course, it would have been even worse had she come on a Sunday, Annie
thought, because she would either have been in, or on her way to, London to meet Johnny. As it was she got home from work in Bushton to find her mother drinking tea with Mrs Dover.

‘I shall be staying at The Shepherd’s Rest for the night,’ Mrs Evesham informed her daughter, ‘while we sort this mess out.’

Annie went along to the inn with her after dinner. She sat on the bed facing her mother who was in the only chair the room boasted.

‘We sent you here to keep you safe,’Mrs Evesham said, ‘and this is how you repay us. You’re a wicked, deceitful girl, and you can write and cancel this job you say you have. I reluctantly agreed to you working in Bushton but you certainly are not returning to London.’

Annie was close to tears, but she took a deep breath and said in a quiet voice, ‘I can’t do that, I have given in my notice here and made plans to start the new job next Monday. It’s all arranged.’

‘Then unarrange it.’

The battle took over an hour, finishing with Annie sobbing into her already soaked handkerchief and Mrs Evesham still sitting impassively straight-backed and dryeyed in the chair.

Annie stood up. ‘I’d best get back,’ she said.

‘Yes, and I want to hear no more of this nonsense. When the war is over we shall all take a holiday and decide on your future. Meanwhile be thankful you have a comfortable safe place to stay, and parents who have your best interests at heart, and learn to be more grateful for it.’

As Annie walked back to Kerry Avenue the tears spilled down her cheeks and she brushed them away impatiently. She can’t stop me, she thought, I shall be earning, I have somewhere to live, and although I suppose that in law she could force me to do as she wants, it would probably mean going to court and her pride would not let her do that because of what the neighbours might say.

She was glad she had not told her where she was working, nor where the hostel was. She knew she had been fortunate to get in but at her interview she had told them her parents lived too far away for her to live with them and nobody had questioned or checked on this statement.

She knew her mother hadn’t asked for further details because in her mind the matter was settled. Annie would stay in Winchurch, work in Bushton and lodge with Mr and Mrs Dover until the war was over and her parents took up the reins again. Annie was sure the thought that her daughter would defy her to this extent had not entered her mother’s mind.

She gave an enormous sniff as she turned into the Dovers’ front gate. Her handkerchief was too saturated to use, and the tension of these last few hours slowly began to lift. Today was Thursday and on Monday she was booked into the hostel and also to begin her new job. No time for her parents to delve too much now that this evening was over, and she would telephone or write to them when she had been settled in for a few days.

For the first time in many years Annie was actually grateful that her mother had so little real interest in her
movements that she had not asked more questions about which firm she was going to. With startling clarity she knew that Johnny’s mum would have done so.