'Tis the Season: A Collection of Mimi's Christmas Books (62 page)

Scenes played in her head and she saw again the mean-tempered woman who never let up on either her industrious husband or a daughter who tried as hard as she knew how to please a mother who hated the role.

Belle remembered that, at the beginning, the battles had mostly been about her mother’s behavior toward Belle. The woman’s quick temper and how it incited a lot of nasty lickings. Then the fights spiralled to include money, the dump they had to live in, and even his inability to satisfy her in bed.

Her mother’s laziness had been another issue. Belle knew it had been her father and herself who’d kept the house as best they could for a woman who kept losing jobs until she gave up trying.

Vaguely, she recalled the final breakup. Already, at seventeen, she’d moved from the house to stay with a friend who lived closer to one of the jobs Belle had found at a fast-food joint.

The night in question, Bell had returned to get the rest of her things only to hear them going at it yet again. This time, she’d stood outside the door and listened. Her mother’s ranting swelled over her father’s attempt to calm her. “You never loved me. Admit it! All you ever cared about was Belle. The stinking kid got more attention from you that I ever did.”

“So what kind of a woman does that make you? Jealous of your own baby. From the day she was born, you’ve let my love for her eat away at you until I had to pretend she meant nothing just to keep the peace. You turned me into a disgusting father and for what? You never forgave me for getting you pregnant anyway. Now she can’t stand the sight of either of us. I’m through! Even though I’ll never forgive myself, I just hope one day my baby will forgive me for being such a weakling.”

Arms wrapped around her stomach, vision blurred, Belle left. Her mother called her a few months later to tell her to get her ass over there and get her stuff. That’s when she heard about her father moving away with another woman and her mother’s plans to move up north.

The hammering beat of her heart returned her to the present where she sat stiffened from the remembered agony. Surprised to see tears dripping, Belle shook herself out of the past. Her clenched hands had crumpled the last page of the album, so she tried to smooth it out. A vicious headache, circling her head like a band of dread, seized her and reminded her once again of why she didn’t like to think about her childhood.

Her father had been right in his assessment of how she’d felt about him. As much as she’d disliked her mother, she’d blamed him in the end. She’d relied on him and he’d never put a stop to the situation. As a young girl, she’d prayed for him to take her with him and just leave. Instead, he’d chosen to do so with a new family.

Now that same man was returning to her world. A place where she’d worked so hard to provide sun instead of clouds and storms.

Laughter instead of screams and threats.

Love instead of fear and weakness.

Could she really let her father inside this protective bubble she’d built around her and Yaya?

Him… or Jesse?

Chapter Thirty

Yaya burst through the door, her cheeks pink and her eyes full of glee. “Mama, I bought you a pwesent for Christmas. It’s a…”

Jesse laughingly cupped her mouth with a gentle hand, shook his head and said, “Uh huh.”

Giggling merrily, Yaya put her hands over his and nodded. Once free she continued as if he’d never stopped her. “…surprise.”

Their simple cheer dissipated all Belles’ earlier trepidation, just like when the warmth from a fire clears away the room’s cold.

Happy once again, Belle joined in their fun. “A surprise? Now I can’t wait for Christmas morning so I can see what it is.”

“Jesse got you a surprise too. A little one, right Jesse? It’s in a small box so it’s vewy little.”

Belle’s eyes flew to Jesse’s face where he tried his damnedest to look innocent. “We had an understanding, presents for k-i-d-s only.” She shook her finger teasingly.

“You said it. I never agreed. Look, I don’t expect anything in return. Let me play Santa this year, please. It matters to me, Belle.” He moved in her direction, a definite goal in mind. Her heart swelled to see hunger mixed with what one could only call adoration spread over his face.

Her hands flew out to stop his forward momentum and ended up circling his cheeks when he bent his head to put his lips on hers.

Yaya’s giggling tore them apart and ended their goal of finding relief from the increasing need to touch and hold.

Sam had decided that Yaya’s pant legs needed straightening and the enthusiastic little beast had her hem between his teeth, pulling back and forth. Giving way, Yaya finally fell in a heap of chortles and pushed at him to make him stop. The pup, knowing a playmate when he found one, pounced on her tummy and tried washing her face.

Both Belle and Jesse ran to her rescue. Jesse picked up the over-excited mutt while Belle scooped up Yaya and stood her so she could help her take off her outer clothes.

“I have some very good news to share.” As Belle spoke the words, an odd shiver worked its way up her back to the nape of her neck, working hard to get all those neck hairs to stand at attention. She shook off the feeling and continued. “My father and step-sister will be arriving tomorrow and would like to join us for Christmas.”

Yaya stopped moving and looked up at her mom. Her green eyes held a surprisingly keen look as she stared at Belle to gauge her acceptance.

Belle smiled, making sure her eyes showed only delight at the news. “It’ll be lovely to see him again and finally meet her.”

“Are they my family too, mommy?”

“Yes. My father is your grandfather and my step-sister will be an aunt.”

“Like Auntie Kim?”

“Kind of.” Belle heard Jesse chuckle and knew he was getting a kick out of her predicament.

Happy again, Yaya ran to Jesse who’d finished putting his gift, wrapped in golden paper with a bow to match, on a higher branch of the tree where the sharp-toothed canine who loved to chew couldn’t get at it.

She reached up her arms, taking for granted that he’d want to pick her up. Jesse didn’t disappoint. “I have another auntie and a gwampa, Jesse. I’m a very lucky girl, right?” She laid her head on his shoulder as if seeking his protection from these unknown strangers.

“You sure are, Sunshine.” He glanced toward Belle, his eyes shining with what one could only call elation. “I suggest that if you’re having all this company, you and your mom will have to stay here with me so they will have enough room at your apartment.”

Belle grinned at the way he looked at her yet using Yaya as his prompter. She never let him down either.

“Yay! Mommy, Jesse wants us to stay with him and Sam and Puff and Snowball and—”

Belle stopped her before she named all the fish in the tank. “Yes, honey. I know. I’m glad he wants us because I did tell Marilyn that they could stay at my apartment knowing we’d be fine here.”

He stepped close to Belle, put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed. “That’s settled then. I guess we’d better grab a bite of lunch and then we’ll all go shopping at the supermarket for some groceries. Looks like we’ll have to buy us a large turkey-bird for the big day!”

Chapter Thirty-one

By the time they returned from shopping and Jesse put the groceries away, Belle had changed the sheets on both the beds back in her apartment.

Earlier, she’d worked darn hard to get the place spic and span. Most of her furniture had come from garage sales and online ads but she had chosen wisely, making every penny count by selecting quality over fashion.

Therefore, her place wasn’t the latest in style but it was surprisingly classy. Her good taste had added in the froufrou where it needed to perk up the placid colors. Her flair made the older-fashioned rooms surprisingly cozy. Not up to the standards of Kim’s place where Jesse had worked wonders, but since she rented and didn’t own, it wasn’t a dump—and for that she was glad.

Standing to survey the beige corduroy sofa, chaise lounge and chair highlighted with the red faux-suede pillows, she noticed how her big fern by her window showed up so well and the silver-framed pictures of Yaya stood out on the mantle.

Crossing her arms, Belle sighed. Nothing was going to make her feel ashamed, not the fact that she didn’t have a job at the moment or that she was living with a man who wasn’t Yaya’s father. She certainly didn’t need to try and “put on the dog” when she had no doubt her lawyer step-sister would be much higher up the financial ladder. Still, she wanted to be at her best.

After all, she had her pride. Once she’d left behind the life that had dragged her through the heartache of self-hate, she’d crawled out of the morass of pity and learned the lesson of self-worth—that it mattered more what she thought than anyone else.

She’d worked desperately to love herself, to be honest with herself and to take pride in herself. It hadn’t been easy but she’d done it by reading a lot of self-help books and then applying the rules.

Straightening her shoulders, Belle gathered the paper from the huge poinsettia plant she’d bought as a final decoration and now adorned the table, turned on the Christmas lights to the small tree by the window and turned to greet Jesse and Yaya who just walked in the front door.

Jesse touched her back, the heat from his hand scorching skin sensitive to his touch. Unable to stop herself, she leaned into him and loved that he braced her and even encircled her waist. “Belle, it looks very nice.”

“Mama, you put the Christmas tree up. Can I look for my special ownaments?”

“Sure, honey. I put them low so you could find them. I figured your Grandfather and Auntie Marilyn would like to have a tree for themselves. They can share ours at Jesse’s place but it’ll be nice for them to have one here also.”

Jesse whispered close to her ear. “You’re nervous! Why?”

Yaya moved out of range and Belle answered, her voice lowered. “They’re like strangers to me, Jesse. I’ll tell you more later.”

His arm tightened possessively and she thought her knees would give way when his hardness pressed against her, informing her of how affected he was by her nearness. He kissed her ear before uttering words that delighted her. “In bed?”

Chapter Thirty-two

As soon as Jesse had finished reading Layla her second story, purposefully making his voice low and mesmerizing, hoping to make her sleepy, she dropped off. Her hand fell away from his arm where she’d held on to him all the while, as if fearing that he would leave before she was ready to let him go.

He gazed down and saw long eyelashes sweeping her sleep-flushed cheeks, hair that a little girl had chopped to different lengths to get it out of her eyes and a bow-like mouth with a slight smile hovering at the corner as if her dreams were pleasant.

“Is she sleeping?” Belle stood at the open doorway, a smile lighting her eyes that flustered him.

“She fought it through the first book and had to give in by halfway into the second. She’s a trooper though.” He grinned, surprised by how incredibly happy he felt.

“I’ll have to even her hair out tomorrow, I guess. I left it so that it would grow back before trimming. I hate to cut it ‘cause it kind of suits her, the shaggy look.”