To Be a Dad (Harlequin Superromance) (17 page)

“I’ve got some baby clothes, and people have showers and give us things we need.”

“I can afford to buy my own child whatever it needs.”

“It’s okay, Dusty. People like buying baby clothes. Haven’t you ever heard of a baby shower?”

He frowned. “I guess.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll still have to buy things. Why are we stopping here? This isn’t the hardware store.” She eyed the bank from the parking lot Dusty had pulled into. It was the same bank where he’d tried to get her to open a joint account with him. She was staying within a budget she knew she could cover with her own wages. If there was money in his account to buy building materials for the house, great. If there wasn’t, they could go without. She’d mastered the art of frugal living years ago.

She didn’t like the way Dusty avoided looking her in the eyes right now. What had he done?

“I asked the lawyer to meet us here to save time. I’ve got a couple of forms I need you to sign,” he said.

“Forms,” she repeated.

“I’m deeding half the house to you.”

The vein in her forehead began to pulse. She blinked her eyes, trying to bring the brick bank building into focus. “You what?”

His house
. He was giving half his house to her. A hysterical laugh rolled up her throat. Which half?

Dusty finally looked at her. Glared at her. “I don’t want any argument on this. The lawyer says I can deed you half the house whether you sign or not. Signing the forms makes it easier for you if something happened to me. That’s all.”

“Why?” Damn it. She would not cry.

“Because I can’t stand the idea of someone having the power to kick you out of your own house. You deserve your own home, Teressa, and so do Sarah and Brendon. And I don’t want you feeling like you have to do stuff for me because you’re staying at my house. I want it to be
our
house.”

“Dusty.” She stopped and cleared the tears out of her voice. She didn’t know how to react. She was overwhelmed, and scared silly. It was too much; she should have seen this coming.

Owning a house together was almost worse than getting married. By accepting his offer, she was committing to a long-term relationship, and she wasn’t sure... She was already responsible for so many people.

Dusty brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I think we’re going to be okay, don’t you?”

She covered her face. “I don’t know. I want us to be, but...I don’t know. Neither of us are perfect, and it’s hard enough to make a relationship work with just two adults. But with two kids and another one on the way? Those aren’t good odds.”

“If we break up, we’ll do what other couples do and sell the house and start over,” he said patiently. “But as long as we’re together, I want things to be equal between us. I don’t ever want you to feel you don’t belong. That’s important to me. Look, can you not make a big deal about this? Can we just go in there and sign the papers?”

She stared at the pointy toes of her cowboy boots, which she’d thought were so cool in the secondhand shop. Now they just looked stupid and out-of-date. “People don’t give me things. Especially big things like houses.”

She attempted a smile as she felt a leap of excitement.
Her
house. Well,
their
house. “I don’t feel right accepting your offer. Thank you, Dusty. Not just for the offer, but for understanding how hard it is for me to depend on you.”

His shoulders twitched. He hadn’t liked that last part. Dusty was the kind of guy who’d probably love to have a woman starry-eyed in love with him; one who’d let him be the man of the house. Instead, he was stuck with bossy, independent her.

“Do you still think you might move away some day?”

“I don’t know. The chance to do so is becoming more and more remote.”

“I don’t want you to be unhappy, but I don’t think I could handle you moving away and taking our child with you.” He stared straight out the windshield.

“That’s why you want my name on the deed of the house? You’re afraid I’ll leave?”

“I was moving stuff around the basement the other night, and one of your boxes fell over, and I saw a couple certificates from the cooking courses you took. You never told me you were at the top of your class.” He glanced sideways at her. “And some letters, too. Replies from all over the world. That’s what made me take a closer look. The stamps. You applied for a job in Scotland three months ago.”

He turned in his seat to face her. “I can’t let you go, Teressa. Now that you’re having my baby, I can’t handle the thought that Duke would suffer because you left him behind or he grew up thinking his father didn’t care enough about him to go with him. I know what that feels like. It’s not something you ever recover from, you just learn to live with it. So I tried to think what I could do to make you happy so you won’t leave. Other than falling in love with me, that is.” His poor attempt at a smile came out crooked, and Teressa had to hold herself back from reaching for him.

She opened her mouth to refuse his offer, but her throat ached from emotion and no words came out. Dusty had been referring to his mother. She hadn’t realized that was an issue for him, and her heart ached for the little boy he’d been when Jane Carson left town. She’d always assumed because Pops was such a terrific parent, he’d made up for his wife running away. She’d been wrong.

And now Dusty was stuck with another woman wanting to leave. What a nightmare.

But she still had her own doubts about their relationship. Dusty was almost always dating some woman, and she was using the word
dating
kindly, but he never stayed with any one of them for long. What made her think he’d changed? Would he be eager to move on in a few months, like he always did? She wanted to believe he was ready to settle down and have a family, but wanting didn’t make it so. He was trying; she’d give him credit for that.

In a way, giving her half ownership of the house was easy for Dusty. It wasn’t as if the house was a home that he loved and had invested much of himself into. He hadn’t done a thing to it until she’d moved in. She wasn’t trying to belittle the gesture, but put it into perspective and not lose her head—or her heart.

Being generous came easy to Dusty. Giving her part ownership of the house so she didn’t feel dependent on him was a grand gesture. But could she trust him to be there for her and the children for longer than a few months?

“Giving me part ownership of the house won’t guarantee anything, Dusty. I don’t want to accept your offer, but I’m going to, because I agree with you. We seem to have come to the part of taking the next step. You know, the three month-six month milestone. Only our relationship is accelerated, because of...Duke? Seriously? Duke?”

Dusty leaned over and kissed her gently. “Thank you.”

* * *

“G
OT
SOMETHING
TO
show you in my truck,” Cal said the next day. Dusty followed him outside.

“These are from Mrs. Tolster’s kitchen. They’re almost brand-new. I know because I installed them two years ago.” Cal opened the tailgate on his truck to show Dusty the cabinet doors stacked neatly inside. “She said to give them to charity. I figured you could use them for your kitchen.”

Dusty reached inside the truck back and pulled one out. So now he was a charity case. Great. “Are you sure it’s okay to give them to me? They must cost at least a couple thousand.”

“I could take them to the Habitat for Humanity store or the Sally Ann and let you buy from them, or you can accept your good luck that you have a brother who’s looking out for you.”

“Gotcha. I’ll take them. Thanks, Cal.” He grabbed an armload and headed toward the house.

Cal followed him with another armload. “You’ll have to buy hardware for them, but I’ll order the hinges because I can get them cheaper than what you pay in the stores.”

“Thanks. Teressa’s going to love these. God knows, she deserves the best kitchen. I’m gaining weight from the dinners she cooks.”

“Where are the lady of the manor and the heirs apparent?”

“Heirs apparent. Good one. Brendon’s getting his hair cut at Wilder’s barber shop.”

Ever since he’d told Cal and Pops about putting Teressa’s name on the deed, Cal had been poking fun at him about getting kicked out of his own house and being homeless. Dusty had to admit the thought had occurred to him before he’d contacted his lawyer. Even his lawyer had questioned the wisdom of exposing himself, so to speak. But if he didn’t have faith in his and Teressa’s relationship, what chance did they have at a future together?

Putting her name on the deed hadn’t been so much about him or even them. It drove him crazy that Teressa had so little backing her up. He had so much—a family he loved and who loved him, a job he couldn’t imagine not doing, friends and now a kid on the way.
A kid
. Every time he thought about his son or daughter emotion welled up inside him, and he felt as if he was drowning. He wasn’t used to feeling that way and didn’t know what to do with the weird energy. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost think his hormones were going wacko on him, like he was pregnant.

He understood meeting on equal ground was important to Teressa, and it was the only way he could think to make that happen. He’d been hoping to remove at least one of the obstacles in their way. When he saw those letters asking her to take a job halfway around the world, he’d panicked. He’d told her he didn’t want her to leave because of the baby. But he also couldn’t imagine his life without her in it. Now that they were living together, he liked the idea of having her in his life every day.

“Dave Wilder’s a quiet man,” Cal said.

“Teressa and the kids aren’t very close to him. But she needs her family.”

“She doesn’t need her mother.”

“Everyone needs a mother, Cal.”

They stared at the cabinet doors stacked against the kitchen counter. The only time he and Cal had talked about their mom was when Sylvie forced them to. After all these years, Dusty still got a rotten feeling in his gut when he thought about her leaving him behind.

Cal took off his ball cap, ran a hand over his hair and resettled the cap on his head. “Anita was pretty worn-out from looking after Sarah and Brendon again. You’ve got to find someone else to help with the kids. What happened to Carmen?”

“Carmen’s still around, I think. Teressa usually takes care of arranging for the babysitter. I probably don’t pay as much attention as I should.” He sat at the kitchen table. “Anita’s looking a lot better these days. It’s a shame she can’t help Adam with the wedding. Teressa says he’s freaking out big-time.”

“I thought we settled all that.”

“I guess there’s a bunch of details he has to take care of. Flowers and shit. Stuff.” He made a face. “I’m trying not to swear anymore.”

“You guys have to back off and leave Anita alone. She’s not well.”

“What’s wrong with her?” Cal had loosened up a bit the past few weeks, but Dusty could tell he was still carrying something big on his shoulders. Cal had helped him out more times than he could remember, and he wouldn’t mind returning the favor. He’d do anything for his big brother.

They both turned when the outside door opened, letting in a gust of cold air. “Smells like snow out there,” Pops said as he shed his jacket. “Got the coffee on, son?”

Cal pulled out a chair for him. “I thought the doctor said only one cup a day.”

“You’re turning into an old fussbudget.” Pops turned to Dusty after he sat. “And I suppose you don’t have any beer in the house?”

Dusty grinned. “Nope.”

“Wusses. Are those Mrs. Tolster’s cupboard doors?” Pops nodded at the stack.

“Yeah. Cal brought them. I was just asking him what’s wrong with Anita. He thinks she’s too tired to help Adam with planning the wedding.” He ignored Cal’s killer glare. It was hard, even for his tight-lipped brother, to keep stuff from Pops. Maybe they’d finally get him to talk.

* * *

C
AL
CURSED
UNDER
his breath as Pops leaned his arms on the table and settled his concerned gaze on him. Hell, now he was in for a grilling. “I was wondering the same thing. You and Anita have been struggling for quite some time. What’s the problem?”

Cal’s jaw tightened. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about it.”

“With your family? You know we have your best interests at heart.”

He stared at the door, wishing he could get up and walk out. “She had a miscarriage and lost our baby.”

Pops stood and went over to Cal and put his arms around him, and for a minute, Cal let himself relax in his father’s arms. “I’m sorry to hear that. She’s going to make a great mother, you know.” He patted him on the back and sat down again.

“I didn’t even know she was pregnant.” Cal stared at the floor as the words hung in the air. “I knew something was wrong. But I thought she wanted a divorce and didn’t know how to tell me.”

His stoic look crumbled as he gazed at Pops. “What kind of lousy husband am I that my own wife can’t turn to me at a time like that?”

“You’re a good man, Cal. Did she say why she kept it from you?”

Cal folded into a chair, his legs no longer capable of holding his weight. “Her mother had several miscarriages, and apparently...” He dragged in a breath. “She died in childbirth. Anita had never told me that, because her mother’s death was always a forbidden topic in her family. Can that happen these days? Do women still die giving birth?”

“I guess,” Pops said. “What does the doctor say?”

“That idiot. He says she’s fine, and that I’m overreacting. But it’s not his wife at risk, is it?”

“Is she at risk?” Dusty asked. “Just because her mom had a problem, doesn’t mean Anita does. Maybe the doctor’s right. Maybe you are overreacting.”

Cal fixed him with a glare. “How would you feel if Teressa lost your baby?”

“Christ.”
The color drained out of Dusty’s face.

Cal nodded. “Exactly.”

Pops frowned at Cal. “You do know you’re the best thing that ever happened to Anita, right? Her father would have sucked the life right out of her if you hadn’t come along. Don’t make the same mistake he did. Anita loves you, but you can’t smother her. You’ve got to give her room to breathe.”