To be Maria (28 page)

           
"A young man by the name of Patrick O'Connell came by the hospital earlier looking for Anya. I assume he goes to your school. Do you know him?"

            "Yes, I know him. Not well, though." Maria scrapes some of the whipping cream off the top of her drink with her left index finger, then sticks it inside her mouth. The cream melts right away, but it leaves behind a pleasant taste.

            "So, tell me about your new job at Highland Grill," Teresa says.

            Maria's heart flutters.
I can't tell her I quit school to work. She'll freak.
"I'm a part time server."

            "Is this a job you enjoy doing?"

            Maria looks at her, both eyebrows raised. This is the first time that her mother has made an effort to engage in her life. "Yes." She watches her mother breath out a prolonged sigh. This time, though, Maria can see the love and compassion in those dark eyes.

            "Maria, after you left, your father and I had a lengthy conversation. We know we were quite hard on you and we realize how wrong that behavior was. We realize that you are your own person with your own goals and we encourage you to pursue them."

            Maria is speechless. She can’t comprehend what she has just heard.

            "If you want to become a hair stylist, then that is your choice and you have our full support. If you need to take a year off school to work, we are also fine with that. We want to let you know that our doors are always open. You are welcome to live with us for as long as you need to. Besides," she says, her eyes glazing over, "I miss my girl."

            Maria realizes that she is crying the moment she opens her mouth to speak. "I love you,
Madre
. And I really want to start my life on a clean slate. But I can't come home. I can't stay here in this city, or in this country."

            "Maria, I understand how you feel. It’s hard starting over in a new place, but--"

            "No,
Madre
. You don't understand."
Of course she doesn't understand. She doesn't know that if I stay, I'll be killed. And I'm not going to tell her that, so I’ll have to tell her what I really need to do.
"The school I go to sucks. The people are downright mean and the teachers don't give a crap about anyone except for themselves. I want to go back to Madrid. At least I know I'll get an education there."

            Teresa eyes her suspiciously. "You never cared about school in Madrid, Maria. If I distinctly remember, your grades were poor. And we could never get your teachers off our backs because you were always gallivanting around the city with your friends when you should have been in class."

            "Well, it took me across the Atlantic Ocean to realize this.
Madre
, I'm really sorry I caused you and
Padre
so much pain. I realize I'm such an idiot. You don't deserve to have me as a daughter," she says while the tears continue to flow.

            "Maria," Teresa says, "you've made some very poor choices in your young life. But your
padre
and I still love you. You are our daughter. We love you, and we will love you until the day we die." She pulls a few pieces of tissue out of her purse and hands them to Maria.

            Maria blows her nose into the soft material.

            "If you really don't want to stay here, we will pay for your flight to Madrid."

            Maria can hear the forlorn sigh in her mother's voice.

            "I will phone
Abuelita
tonight and tell her that you have decided to return home."

            A smile spreads slowly across Maria's face. She feels better already. Things are beginning to look up.

            "But, there is one condition."

            Maria jerks her head up. "What?"

            "You will complete your education at Holy Mary Catholic School."

            Maria's hope deflates.
Catholic school? Where's the freedom in that? And where will Anya go to school? Those schools are quite expensive and I highly doubt
Abuelita
will pay for Anya's tuition as well as mine.
"I was hoping to finish my high school diploma at the community college near our old home."

            "That’s a great idea, but your
padre
and I need to know that you're going to take your education seriously. You are quite young, but life goes by quickly. You must think about your future and you must make better choices. And that needs to happen now. Until you prove to us that you can be responsible, we will be keeping our watchful eyes on you."

            Maria’s eyes droop. The last place she wants to attend is a Catholic School. The nuns are strict and the uniforms are ugly and confining. But Maria realizes that if she’s going to make any meaningful change in her life, she needs to take that step.

            Teresa leans forward in her seat. "Maria, I wouldn’t tell you this if I didn’t love you."

            "You're right. I need direction in my life, so maybe it would be best if I went to a Catholic school." It warms her heart to see the smile on her mother's face. A renewed feeling of hope dispels all of the fear inside of her. Maria somehow knows that everything will be alright. She is going to leave this mess of a life behind and she is going to redirect her life on a new path, one that is not traveled on by people like Carly, Alex and Marissa. She is also going to set things right for Anya. The girl deserves a much better life than the one she has right now.

            "I believe in you, Maria. You are a strong woman. If you put all of your energy in the right place, you will succeed in life."

            Maria smiles back at her. "I know. And…thank you for those words. They mean so much to me."

            "Oh dear," Teresa says, glancing down at her watch. "I have to get back to work. If I don't get going now, I'll be late. Will you come home tonight?"

            "Yes. I just need to get my things first. And
Madre
..."

            "Yes, honey."

            "I'm going to bring Anya with me if you don't mind."

            "Oh…okay," Teresa says, looking unsure of what to think of that proposal. She then wraps her arms around Maria's waist. It has been so long since she last felt her mother's embrace that it’s overwhelming. Maria wishes that this moment could last a few seconds longer, but it doesn’t. Her mother has more duties to fulfill at work before she returns home in the evening. For the first time in years, Maria looks forward to her parents' company, especially knowing that, in a day, she will be on a plane heading towards safety. God willing, Anya will be with her.

****

            For Carly, these last two weeks have been pure hell. She hasn't regained her mother's support or love. Whenever Carly tries to talk to her, she walks away. At first, it hurt quite bad. But after a while, it angered Carly. There had been a few times when she yelled at her mother. A few days ago, she threw a glass mug at Angela's head after Angela purposely ignored her question. Fortunately, Angela ducked before the cup struck her, but it hadn’t been so fortunate for Carly. Carly has always known Angela to be a fighter; she fought back. It escalated into screaming, hitting and more object throwing, then ended with Carly storming up to her room, sobbing loudly.

            To add insult to injury, Shondra's mother phoned just to tell Carly that she's an evil girl who’s been a terrible influence on her daughter. When Carly raised her voice, Mrs. Kreviak warned her, in an equally thunderous voice, that if she sets so much as her big toe on the Kreviak property, she will call the police.

            The only person who is allowed to hang out with Carly is Kirsten. She knows that, with Kirsten, it’s not a matter of allowance; it’s a matter of choice. Carly is not satisfied with that arrangement. Kirsten is her least favorite friend: she is slow and just plain stupid. When Carly talks about one thing, Kirsten always changes the subject and then she repeats everything Carly says word by word. Even her parents must think she's annoying: that’s why they don't have much to do with her, Carly always wonders. In the past, people have always asked Carly why she bothers with Kirsten. She could never give them a direct answer except to remark about the clothes Kirsten wears or about the way she styles her short hair. Carly will give Kirsten credit for two things: she is knock-out gorgeous and she does know how to look sexy. Every outfit she wears gracefully outlines her perfectly shaped, hourglass figure. Kirsten belongs on the front cover of a
Cover Girl
magazine and Carly knows it. Although Carly would never admit that to her.

            Kirsten is the only person who wants her friendship, so Carly must choose between loneliness and Kirsten. She doesn't want to be lonely, so she has decided to keep Kirsten as a friend. For now. Once she makes new friends after boot camp, she’s going to ditch Kirsten.

****

            The phone beside Carly's bed rings, its high-pitched sound startling her. She drops her book on the bed and reaches for the phone. The alarm clock reads 1:25pm. Carly groans.
Man, can this day go by even slower?
She presses the talk button just before it goes to answering service. "Hello?"

            "Hey, Carly."

            "Kirsten."
Of course. Who else would it be? No one else calls for me anymore.

           
"Wanna go to the mall?"

            Carly grunts. "How can I? I'm, like, grounded until I leave for boot camp."

            "That totally sucks that you have to go to boot camp."

            "Yeah, but it'll be better than living here."
It'll be better than having you as my only friend.

            "So, do you know when you're going?"          

            "In the middle of April."        

            "How are your parents dealing with this situation?"

            Carly tugs on a strand of hair. "My mom's not talking to me. We fight a lot. The only person who's actually nice to me is my dad." 

            "This is all Maria's fault." Kirsten's voice is full of venom.

            Carly's face becomes inflamed. "Yeah. If she hadn't rattled on us, none of this would have happened. I hope the stupid bitch gets everything she deserves. I wouldn't even care if she died today. In fact, I'd laugh. I hate her, Kirsten." She pounds her fist on the soft mattress. "I hate her guts!"

            Kirsten chuckles. "Screw her. Let's go shopping."

            "Alright, let's go. But you'll have to pick me up. If my parents come back and sees that my car’s gone, I'll be in deep shit."

            "Okay, I'll be over soon. Bye."

            Carly fingers the soft cashmere of a mauve cardigan on the rack full of sweaters in Zaras, her favorite store. Even though her closet is bursting with outfits, she could still use another new item of clothing. And she loves the style of this cardigan. She traces her fingers over the small buttons. This one sweater instantly takes her mind off her tumultuous life at home. Her hand searches for the price tag. It reads $200.00. Carly shrugs.
Two hundred dollars is nothing. Most of my other clothes cost way more than this. I can afford this cardigan, no problem.
But her face clouds over when she remembers the furious look on her mother's face.
How am I going to wear this without my mom seeing it on me?
Deflated, she shoves the cardigan back in its place.

            "Let's get out of here," she says.

            Kirsten gives her a thunderstruck look. "But I haven't finished looking, and I want to buy a top."

            Carly glowers at her. "Forget it, Kirsten. You can't even afford one item of clothing in this store, so how are you gonna pay for it?" She watches her friend's face turn from its natural pale beige to bright red. A couple of women, including a sales clerk, turn and stare at them.

            "I was…kinda hoping…you'd pay for it," she says, her voice not much louder than a whisper. She twists one of the large buttons on her coat.

            Carly should feel remorse for berating her only friend in public, but Kirsten's remark only fuels her anger. "Like hell I'm gonna pay for your clothes. Get a job."

            Kirsten’s eyes glaze over. "But you paid for Anya's clothes.”

            Carly shoots Kirsten a piercing look. She wants to punch her in the face. On any other occasion, she would have, but not here when people's watchful eyes are on her. Instead, she turns her back on Kirsten and storms out of the store.

            "Carly. Wait. Don't leave me," Kirsten yells from behind.

            Carly quickens her pace.
God, I wish I could lose this annoying bitch.
Right now, she wants to be alone. Perhaps loneliness is better than Kirsten's company.

            "Carly, are you mad at me?" Kirsten says once she catches up to her. A worried look inhabits her dumb face.

            Carly purses her lips.
Yes. You're a stupid, annoying brat. Get out of my sight
, she wants to say.