To Be With You (5 page)

Nicole wondered if she should tell him and let him get an inflated ego, but Tina and Beth laughed.

"You're so cute," Beth said, taking a sip of champagne.

If he was Sean, she knew that would ruffle his feathers. Sean had been called cute since he was young. He hated it.

"You know, men don't really like being called cute," he said, slumping slightly and narrowing his eyes on them.

"Oh," they said in unison, looking at Nicole for a second with raised eyebrows.

"But I'll accept hot, handsome, rugged, and beastly, in reverse order of preference."

Nicole recognized it as Justin’s speech when someone called him pretty. She also noticed a fine sheen of sweat along Sean’s hairline. Poor guy.

"Can I borrow him for a dance?" Tina asked. "No one here is tall enough. I'll bring him back in one piece.”

Sean turned to Nicole. He looked confused and slightly helpless. Nicole decided to let him sweat.

"Be my guest. How could I hog such a hot, handsome, rugged, beastly man?"

Sean's glare was a micro expression that happened in a fraction of a second before he smiled and held out a hand to Tina. "Shall we?"

She smiled and took his hand, and Nicole tried to ignore a distasteful awkwardness that rose in her as they touched. She frowned.

Tina turned to Sean as they left and Nicole heard her words.

"She looked kind of fierce there for a moment."

Sean glanced over his shoulder.

Nicole tried to look away before he could catch her watching. She folded her arms and sat back in the chair. "As if."

But the two were gone, already out on the dance floor, swaying back and forth, Sean's hands in the proper positions on Tina's hand and waist. Tina’s tall, chubby figure looked much smaller, much more elegant against Sean’s wide shoulders. Sean acted a perfect gentleman. When Tina’s hand strayed to his rear, he pulled it up quickly before Nicole could fly out of her chair to defend him. Obviously he didn’t need that from her anymore. She'd never had to share Sean. It made her feel insecure somehow, as if his attention was imperative to her safety, to her concept of self as important and valuable. She was thinking of going to take him back when a hand landed on her shoulder, stopping her.

"Nicole," a male voice said. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Jake," she said. She didn’t want to look up. She knew the voice despite its lower timbre. Jake Hawkins. All the worst memories from high school rolled up in one person.

She kept her eyes on her drink. She wasn’t going to make a scene. They were older now. And she didn’t want Sean to see her as weak. She didn’t need to be rescued, however many times she’d wished she had someone to rescue her from Jake in the past. In reality, he was just a harmless creep.

"You alone?" He slumped into Sean's chair. She could see him in her peripheral vision. Taller, but not tall as Sean. Thin. She could see his pale, freckled hands and face. His reddish blond hair. A blur on his face that might be facial hair, but she wouldn’t look at him directly to confirm it.

“Aw come on, not going to talk to your old friend?”

She took another drink and looked up to see if anyone else was left at the table. No. Had Beth gone to the restroom after Tina left?

"I'm here with a date," she said. And instantly regretted it. She didn’t want Sean involved. She didn’t want him protecting her. She needed to take care of herself. Otherwise things got complicated.

"Sure," Jake said. He moved his face deliberately in front of hers.

“Get out of my face. You’re drunk.”

“And you’re hotter than before.” He moved closer. “But you don’t have a date.”

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she said. It seemed like Jake wasn’t going to get the hint, and if she stayed there long enough, Sean would notice. And she just didn’t want to see it all play out.

“Fine,” he said. “Can I have your drink?”

She grabbed her purse and strode for the door.

“Nicole.” She heard someone call her name but didn’t look over.

She left the ballroom. She turned right and headed down a hall. When she came to the end and turned the corner, a hand stopped her.

“Where you going?”

“Get out of my face.”

“Or what?” Jake leaned in and put his other hand on the other side.

“Get off of me.”

“Oh I’m scared.”

“Seriously Jake, I don’t have time for this right now.” She moved her leg to get ready to bring it up swiftly if needed, but was shocked when he moved it aside with his. He was good.

“Aw come on now,” he said. “I’m just picking up where we left off.” He leaned in to smell her hair. “I hoped you’d be here. That’s why I came.”

“You’re such a creep.”

“Shh,” he said. “Keep it down you don’t want to make a scene.”

He was right, she didn’t. She tried to fight his hand as it slid up her side. She didn’t want anyone to come upon them and see what was happening. Why did she attract this everywhere she went? Like her stepdad had placed a target on her.

She felt Jake’s hand on her skirt.

“You stop that.” She slapped him. “Just stop, you idiot.”

“Oh, you—” He pulled back a hand and she moved her head to the side and put her hands up to block her face. The slap didn’t come.

“No!”

She looked up in time to see a Jake-shaped blur fly into the wall. Sean turned to face her. His shoulders rose and fell and a vein twitched in his forehead. She backed into the wall.

“It wasn’t my fault,” she said, pressing herself back.

Sean narrowed his eyes and looked from Jake to Nicole. Jake didn’t get off the floor. He moaned, showing he was alive and uninjured, but was smart enough to stay down.

Sean moved to him and crouched down. He murmured something to Jake and all Nicole heard was ‘cut it off. ’

Sean turned back to her, and she slid down the wall and scooted away from him.

“Nicole.” He knelt, took her by the shoulders and when she tried to shake him off, held tighter. “Nicole it’s me.”

“I know it’s you,” she said. “And now you know.”

“Know what?” He moved back but kept his solid, warm hands on her.

“That something’s wrong with me,” she said. “That I attract that.”

“That?” He exhaled slowly through his nose.

“Men,” she said. “Like they can sense I deserve it.”

“No.” He pulled her close. “No, you don’t deserve it. And I’ll kick their butts if they try it when I’m around. Even if I’m not around just tell me and I’ll find them.”

“Kind of a lot to do for just being a male escort?” She let the accusation hang in the air and waited for his move.

He looked from one of her eyes to the other, and bit his cheek. Then he exhaled. “Well, we are the best agency in town.” He looked as disappointed with his answer as she was.

He stood and pulled her to her feet. He took her arm and when she turned to see where her purse was, he motioned to his shoulder where he held it. Could little Sean really have grown into someone this capable? And if so, what was he doing here as part of this charade?

“Are you okay?” he asked when they stepped outside into fresh air.

“Stupid Jake. I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said, pushing his hand off her shoulder and turning to the street. She was starting to calm down. Starting to be more aware of the way Sean had moved Jake like he was nothing. The way he’d tenderly held her. It blurred the hard lines in her world.

“Sorry I wasn’t there sooner. I shouldn’t have danced with your friend.”

“I told you to.” She rubbed her arms because the air had turned cold outside. “Plus you were there really quick. Were you watching us?”

“Yes. That’s my job right?” He pulled off his jacket and put it around her. “Nicole, I’m glad I got to be there this time.”

“This time?” She studied him.

“I mean. I mean I’m glad I was there.”

She turned away from him again. “Thank you.” She walked a little down the road and he followed her. She checked the bus schedule. She’d been molested on a bus once and hadn’t taken them since, but it still seemed safer than walking.

“Can I give you a ride home?” he asked.

“That’s not necessary.” She didn’t need any more help from him. He already confused her.

“You’d be doing me a favor if you’d let me.” He came up beside her and put an arm up for her to curl under. “I’ll worry if you don’t.”

“Okay.” She put an arm around his waist and let him lead her to the car garage. “But only because it makes you feel better.”

“Thanks.” He laughed. “My hero.” He gave her a small squeeze, then cleared his throat and removed his hand to reach in his pocket and pull out keys. “And don’t worry, my Jeep’s the best.”

“A Jeep? Oh man. Luxurious.”

“Only the best.”

She snorted, and felt it hadn’t been such an awful day after all. Maybe Sean out of the box wasn’t so terrible. Maybe she should have let him out of the box a long time ago. Something to think about.

Later that night:

CHAT

N: Thanks for getting online.

S: No problem.

S: Rough day?

N: You could say that …

S: Sorry to hear it. Want to talk about it?

N: Not really. But I think I need to.

S: What happened?

N: I went on my first escort date.

S: Oh. How did it go?

N: The date was fine, that wasn’t the problem.

S: What was then?

N: It was a friend from high school that was getting married.

S: Okay. And?

N: And Jake was there.

S: >:(

N: I know.

S: Did you punch him right in the face?

N: It was a wedding.

S: I know. It sucks that those people always benefit from functions where manners prevent people from bashing their face in.

N: Yeah, I think that’s how my escort probably felt.

S: What do you mean?

N: He put the guy in some kind of hold. Just his job I guess. I slapped Jake, though. I’m sure my escort thought I was crazy.

S: I doubt it. Why else would he hurt the guy?

N: It seemed more like he was just trying to stop the confrontation altogether.

S: I don’t know. You know us men. We’re pretty protective. Especially of women we are attracted to.

N: He’s just a host, a paid date.

S: That doesn’t mean he’s blind.

N: How do you know what I look like?

S: I’ve seen pics by your writing. You look way different. I miss those days.

N: I don’t.

S: What? Those were good years.

N: Not for me.

S: What?

N: Well except for my time with you. I’m so glad we were friends, but I’m not one of those people who look back at childhood with nostalgia. I would never go back.

S: Really?

N: Being an adult is great. You are an equal. You don’t have to depend on anyone, unless you want to. When you are a child you don’t get to pick the people you have to depend on, and you have no way to change your life in any important way without them.

S: Them being parents?

N: Yeah.

S: Listen, Nicole. What happened back then?

N: What do you mean?

S: You were so sad sometimes. And you moved out without much warning. I know something must have been going on. I guess I know what you mean about preferring to be an adult, because as a kid I could never ask you. I know I was too young to do anything about it even if you told me.

N: I don’t know that there is any point talking about it now. I’ve been through way too much therapy already. Of course you’ve probably guessed some of it.

S: I have, from little comments here and there. I know someone hurt you, and the only person you lived with was your stepdad.

N: I can’t do this. I need to go to bed.

S: I’m sorry. I was just hoping to understand a little better.

N: Well don’t. It’s not going to help anything, and I should be able to keep things private if I want to. You aren’t my shrink.

S: Sorry. Someone once told me women want to be understood, while men want to be accepted. But I won’t push you.

N: Too late. But I don’t want to talk about this with you Sean.

S: Okay. So I guess today at the wedding was pretty upsetting too right?

N: Yeah. He attacked me.

S: >:( I could kill him for you.

N: Ha ha

S: I’m serious.

N: I think I’m realizing that. You would really go so far for me?

S: I’d do anything for you.

N: Why?

S: Why shouldn’t I? You’re my friend. You’re a good person. You’ve always been there for me.

N: Oh.

S: I mean, who else would have saved my butt so many times? No one else even wanted to be my friend.

N: Yeah, you were such a twerp then.

S: It might not be a normal friendship, but I think what we have is really great, Nicole.

N: Me too. It’s really different. Most people have to see each other and talk to each other and we have something really special because we didn’t need any of that.

S: I don’t know. Maybe it would have been more special if we could have seen each other.

N: Maybe if it had been any more contact than this, we could have fought, or had issues with the other person’s life, or how they were changing.

S: Maybe. Regardless I’ve loved it.

N: Me too.

S: I love you, buddy.

N: Aw, you too, Sean.

S: So what happened next with Jake? I hope you had a snappy comeback.

N: Not really. Shortly after that Sean took over.

S: Sean? Do you mean your escort?

N: Oh yeah, John.

S: :P

N: It’s hard to keep straight. He looks like you, and in some ways acts like you, and his name is John, which, frankly, rhymes and makes it hard to keep you two distinct.

S: Understandable I guess.

N: Sometimes I wish you WERE around to punch people.

S: Really? Maybe we’ll have to meet sometime.

N: That’s a great idea. Where do you live now?

S: I don’t know though. What about our special ‘different’ friendship?

N: I don’t know.

S: Well there’s no rush. After all, you have all the male company right now that you could want. And this way you’ll have someone to vent to about it.