To Bed or to Wed (16 page)

Bugger it.
“I don’t want your money, or your alleged help, Amherst. I don’t wish to marry your daughter.”

“But you promised—” Alexandra protested.

“No,
you
kept putting forth the idea. I never agreed. The only thing I did was deflect your attention to other mundane subjects.”

“Enough, Nathan. Give up this nodcock dream of yours and sign the papers,” Alexandra warned.
“It’s the least you can do for me.”

“No.
I’m done being manipulated.” He pinned his sibling with a hard look. “You’re too much of a schemer for any man to want to marry you. And you’re quite grasping, which makes you desperate. My fondest wish is for you to marry again for love. You’d do well with some of that in your life.” When she opened her mouth, he shook his head. “I’ve apologized for years for Grantley’s death, and I’ll always carry that guilt around in my heart, but both you and I have to move forward.”

T
he duke and Alexandra erupted into speech at once, while Lady Sophia wrung her hands and kept muttering about her trousseau.

Jamie arrived on the scene at that moment. “I hope this isn’t ill timing
, but I do need to speak with you, Uncle.” He entered the room, swaggering until he stood directly in front of the marquess. “I have come to a decision.” His voice wavered.

“Now is not the time,” Nathan began.

“No.” Jamie made an agitated motion with a hand. “It has to be now before I lose my nerve.” His youthful face was creased with a frown.

He tossed a look to Alexandra, who shrugged, clearly baffled, but still seething.
“Oh? Well, out with it, boy. I might as well make all the people of my acquaintance and relations angry at the same time. Proceed straightaway with your admission.” What else could possibly happen on this wretched morning?

“I do not wish to inherit your title any longer. In fact, I’m going to pursue my passion of painting with Lord Starkton
, in Belgium to start, but we plan to tour all of Europe as the wind takes us.” Jamie finished with a rakish grin and a determined glint in his eye.

Botheration.
Nathan could just picture his nephew chasing scandal with his lover all over the Continent. However, he envied his nephew the freedom to do so. “Well, my boy, I must say I heartily agree with you.”

“I… I beg your pardon, sir?” Jamie stared, his eyes bulging, while the din in the parlor fell silent as every person watched them.

“It’s a fantastic idea, you following your passion. I only wish I’d have done the same when I was your age.” Nathan clapped a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “Besides, I’m not willing to give up my title just yet, as I think I’ll be able to do my duty to it soon.”

Jamie’s eyes were still large as he said, “I thought you would at least yell or growl about it. That’s the usual response.”
He peered at Nathan. “Are you quite well, sir?”

A chuckle escaped Nathan’s throat. “I’m getting there.” That was all in the perspective.
“I’m man enough to not bully you, but I must say, I’m sick of the sham this family has become.” He stepped away from his nephew. Some of the rage bubbling inside had quieted.

“But…”

“Hush.” After drawing in a deep breath and letting it out, Nathan said, “For a while I lost what I’d wanted from this life and instead let fear and anger and guilt hold me captive. No more.” He looked around the room at the four people who currently clogged his path to happiness. “If you will all excuse me, I have much more happier business to attend.”

In the foyer, Sanders met him with his greatcoat, hat and gloves. “Thank you, my good man. I don’t know when I shall return.”

A rap on the door sounded just as Sanders’ hand touched the knob. Once he’d pulled the portal open, he held it wide in order to let Charlotte pass through. One of the butler’s shaggy eyebrows rose in inquiry. “Shall I announce her, my lord?”

“No.” A grin tugged at the corner of Nathan’s mouth.
His pulse accelerated at the mere sight of her. “However, this is hardly the venue I would have liked for such a serious conversation, Lady Charlotte.” Obviously, he couldn’t have Sanders show her into the gold parlor. Once again she wasn’t dressed for the weather and had chosen the same fur-lined cape he’d first seen her in. It was no less enchanting on her today than it had been when he’d met her. Did she require heating that only a kiss could give? “If you had been patient a half-hour longer, I would have reached your door.”

Instead of the smile he’d hoped he’d induced, a frown settled over her features. “I heard
two
on-dits
about you, Lord Ravenhurst, and I need you to clear up my confusion regarding them.”

Lud
, did the whole of London do nothing except gossip? “What is this about?”

Before Charlotte could answer, Amherst and his daughter bustled into the foyer. In a flurry of outerwear and other accessories, Lady Sophia said, “Are you the mistress? Beware if you are. He was seen with a lightskirt near the bakery a few days ago so your time with him is probably limited.”
She turned to Nathan. “You’re a rake, Lord Ravenhurst, and I thank God our association is done.” She flung open the door ahead of Sanders. “Plus, you’re a liar and refuse to keep promises.”

“This isn’t the end of the matter, Ravenhurst. You will be called to task,” Amherst warned as he followed his daughter out the door.
“I swear I’ll demand satisfaction.”

Nathan scarcely had time to worry over the implications of the duke’s reach before his most recent guest spoke.

“Mistress? They think I’m your mistress?” Charlotte’s voice rose with each question. She planted her hands on her hips. “Please tell me you set them straight.”

“Of course I did.” He glanced at Sanders, and with a jerk of his head, ordered the butler from the foyer. “This has been a trying morning already. Please don’t make it more difficult.”

“
I’m
making your morning difficult? I only just arrived.” Annoyance rang in her voice.

“Let’s say you’re adding to the
exasperations.” He wouldn’t give if she wouldn’t. Did she not think better of him?

“Is this when your temper will come into play then?
Will you order me about, or worse?”

“Do you want it to?” Why was she deliberately provoking him?

“Perhaps. At least I’ll know if the rumors are true or not.” She whipped a hand off a hip then poked him in the chest with a forefinger. “I apologize that I’ve put out the great and irritable Marquess of Ravenhurst, but you still haven’t answered my question.”

“You never asked it,” he forced out around clenched teeth. This day wasn’t turning out quite like he’d thought, but meeting
the challenge with Charlotte’s quick, heated responses had the power to undo him. It was a different sort of feeling than having anger roll through him—and he wanted to experience more of it.

“The woman from the bakery you were seen walking arm and arm with the other day. Who is she to you?
My mother told me of her.” She jabbed him in the chest again. “And what’s more, why were you squiring her about Town after you and I… after we had… Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter, does it?” Her voice softened. Disappointment and fear shadowed her expressive blue eyes.

His chest tightened. He’d made her feel those things. In that moment, he doubted he’d be able to offer her anything beyond heartache—just like his father had given his mother.
And why the hell was everyone suddenly so concerned with his accidental meeting with Miss Hawthorne? “She’s no one. A neighbor only. I was wool-gathering that day and bumped into her on the street.” He swallowed around the lump forming in his throat. “I offered to escort her and her aged aunt to their next location. Barring that, we do not know each other.”

Charlotte licked her bottom lip. “What of Lady Sophia? Did you beg off from your arrangement with her?”

“Woman, there was no arrangement! Why does no one listen to me?” Nathan shoved a hand through his hair.

“You had originally told me it was implied.” She pinned him with an accusatory gaze. “Now
the situation has changed?”

“Damnation, this is an impossible conversation. Amherst left with his daughter. You saw that.” He grabbed her hand. What was she thinking? Was it the worst of him? Things were as convoluted as they’d ever been
between them. “In this, I’m completely honest.”

“You haven’t been before?”
Doubt rang through the words.

“Nothing I have ever said in your company has been a lie.” He couldn’t very well try and sway her with a kiss right there in the foyer, yet she didn’t appear convinced. The longer the silence stretched between them, the more
reservations crept in to chip away at his confidence. A stab of anger speared him. Why should he have to explain himself? His word should be good enough. “You either believe me or you don’t.”

Charlotte narrowed her eyes. “How can I be certain you won’t stray from me if you and I should form a union?”

“Have I given you reason to doubt?” Though his voice remained even, his insides clenched. That she’d even thought of agreeing to a suit from him accelerated his heartbeat.

“Not you, personally, but I’ve seen how most men behave. Once they marry a woman and secure an heir, they’re always looking for new entertainment.”

He dropped her hand at her plain speaking. “I am not most men. Why do you assume I would be? Haven’t I given you sufficient reason to trust me?”

“I’ve not m
et a man who would show me differently.” She crossed her arms beneath her breasts. “Which brings me to my next item.” Her eyes hardened. “My mother woke me this morning in a tither because of a rumor going around… about me.”

“And?” Why were the people of his acquaintance so damned concerned about idle prattle?

“It’s being bandied about Town that you took advantage of me at the opera as a goodbye of sorts before you made your relationship with Lady Sophia public.” Her voice wavered. “They’re saying you meant to compromise me that night for the mere fact that you could. Men are betting at White’s I’d allow you anything, even that most sacred of acts, because I’m a desperate old maid and won’t have another chance to be bedded.”

Dear God. He caught the sparkle of tears in her eyes and moved forward a step. When she retreated, he frowned. “You believed the rumors over my integrity?”

“I didn’t want to, but everyone in the streets is buzzing with this story.” She looked at him and moisture clung to her lashes. “How did the details of our meeting get out?”

“It’s horrible how rumors start, even if they’re grounded in truth, huh?” Alexandra purred from behind him. “Poor Lady Charlotte, the subject of gossip. The best thing to do is stay well away from my brother and the talk will surely die quickly.”

Nathan ignored his sibling. “Charlotte, please believe that I had nothing to do with that.”

“Trust you
?” An eyebrow rose as if in challenge. “Should I? After all, how can I know your affection for me is true when you won’t make a solid decision? I thought you were different from every other man out there, Nathan. Perhaps I was wrong.”

“God damn it, woman. How many times must I tell you I’m not like other men?”
He worked his jaw as he searched for words. What would it take to convince her?

Charlotte huffed. “Have you nothing else to say?”

Nathan reeled with shock. Hatred roiled through him. Those very words echoed through his soul and chafed through his mind.
Have you nothing else to say?
How often had his father asked that of him when at the height of a rage when Nathan had either been beaten to tears or had withstood an hour of yelling? Something inside him snapped.

“Perhaps if you desire to measure me against the rest of the men of your acquaintance, I shall do the same for you with the women of mine.” Anger burned his gut, his stomach, his throat. No longer did he see Charlotte standing in front of him. Instead, his father’s face swam in his mind’s eye.
He drew up the invisible wall around his heart, the barrier he should never have lowered when he’d met her. “You’re nothing but a frivolous miss with nary a thought in your head beyond what ribbons or feathers to put in your hair or on your gowns.”

Charlotte’s jaw opened slightly. “That’s not true.”

“Ah, how does it feel to be accused unjustly?” He went on without giving her a chance to defend. “Women like you coo and coddle until men give you jewels, and you’re content for a time, but boredom sets in and you look for your next victim.”

“I’m not that sort of person
.”

“No?”
He continued without mercy, still ridden by the specter of his father. “You play with men’s hearts, never taking what they give seriously, until suddenly you find yourself well and truly on the shelf with nothing but an empty life stretching before you. At that point, any man with a fortune and a decent face will do, correct? Perhaps someone like Armenstout. If we’re going by rumors, the talk is linking your name to his. Shall I congratulate you on an engagement soon?”

“How can you even think I’d want him over you?”

“How can you think what you have about me? That’s the problem with rumors, my dear. They’re horrid and ugly little creatures that grow when we give them life.” Nathan narrowed his gaze. “He’s infinitely more suited to you than I am. And you’ll use him to gain a higher rung on Society’s ladder. That’s all we are to you—social positions.”