To Fall (The To Fall Trilogy Book 1) (22 page)

Xander shot over and gasped. “Abby, that’s a lot of blood.”

I shrugged, trying to play if off, but he was right. My blood thinners were definitely working. “It’s my fault, I wasn’t careful.”

Xander examined my cut without a care that he was getting my blood on him. “Mrs. Bradley, it’s shallow enough, she just needs a wrap.” I wasn’t sure I believed him.

Mrs. Bradley handed Xander the first aid kit and he took me to the other side of the class. He cleaned the wound with disinfectant, and it was then I realized I didn’t feel any pain. In fact, since he touched me, I hadn’t felt the cut. He wrapped my hand, but blood seeped through the gauze before he could grab the tape. Xander had a look on his face I couldn’t quite place.

I whispered, “Are you mad?”

He didn’t take his eyes away from the clean piece of gauze in my palm. “No, of course not. I wish I could help you better,” he muttered.

“But you are helping me.”

Shaking his head, he mumbled while applying the tape. I didn’t understand his mood. He kissed my hand for a few breaths and his lips were hotter than normal. For the briefest moment, I felt a twinge of pain in my palm, and then it was gone.
Just like my ankle
.

Mrs. Bradley told me to assist everyone in the kitchen for the rest of the period. I told her everyone’s dishes would suck. She laughed and didn’t disagree.

Xander checked his phone and said he had to run an errand, but he would catch up with me at the parking lot. After going to my locker, I went to meet him. Xander was huddled with his siblings under a shade tree, in what appeared to be a heated discussion. I didn’t want to interrupt, so I hung back and waited for him, uncomfortably listening. It was wrong. So wrong. But I couldn’t force myself to move.

Caleb warned, “Alexander, you must be more careful. She’s going to ask questions you can’t possibly answer without telling her the truth.”

“I know, Caleb, I know. I’ll try harder.” Xander hung his head.

Calista put her hand on Caleb’s arm. “Caleb, Alexander is doing the best he can. This is hard for him.”

“No, Caleb is right,” Hannah argued. “We’re risking exposure. I think we all could be more careful.”

I felt a pang of guilt and was certain I was the topic of conversation. This had to do with Xander healing me. I shouldn’t have said anything at lunch. And what was with the exposure talk? Maybe they weren’t siblings. Who went to a party to play designated driver? Were they some kind of
22 Jump Street, X-Men
gang? Did each of them have mutant powers? How ridiculous, my imagination was running wild.

Xander trudged away from the meeting and spotted me. He didn’t have a smile for me this time.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He picked up my bandaged hand and kissed it. His lips were cooler than before. “How’s your hand?” And just like that, he changed the subject.

“My hand is fine. I want to know if you’re okay. It seemed like you were having a disagreement with your family.”

He avoided my gaze. “No, I wasn’t. You ready to go?” He was lying to me and it hurt that he did it so easily, but I wasn’t meant to hear that conversation, so I let it go.

My shoulders drooped. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

Xander gave me a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Before bed, I took my bandage off to put a clean one on. I had to blink several times when I looked at my palm. There was nothing there.
Nothing
. My skin was perfect. I didn’t imagine the cut because the gauze had dried blood on it. Was I different around Xander? Did he do something to me?

I kept the bandage on for the next few days and recounted my growing questions.

31

Abby

“Xander, do you guys kiss?” Emma’s curls bounced as she wiggled in her seat.

Xander looked at me, wide-eyed. From the corner of my eye, I caught Mom and Dad staring, listening as they prepared Saturday night dinner. Xander turned red and opened his mouth, but nothing came.

With an expertise in twin distraction, I saved him. “He kisses me all the time, see?” I held up my hand and he pressed his lips to it.

Emma and Olivia giggled and began kissing each other’s hand. My parents smiled at our save—they’d seen us kiss more than once by now. Margaret frowned as she rolled the
Yahtzee
dice with too much vigor. So much for giving him a chance.

Dinner was served, and my parents dug for information. I found it ironic that in one dinner, they knew as much on the Xander Wright file as I did in over two months. He repeated the same story he told me, word for word. The Wrights moved from Washington and their dad was a salesman for a large medical supply company. My parents wanted to meet him, but he was in Europe now and Xander wasn’t sure when he would be coming home. He talked about his siblings and the car he was restoring, which piqued Dad’s interest, Mr. D.I.Y.

Margaret didn’t speak until the subject of our date came up. “I heard Abby let you celebrate her birthday. You must be pretty special to accomplish that.”

Xander blinked at her, then to me.

Stomach sinking, my gaze shot to my lap. “I don’t like to celebrate my birthday.”

Xander abandoned his fork and knife. He whispered, “I didn’t know.”

I shrugged. “You couldn’t.”

Emma said, “Yeah, Abby won’t even let the waiters sing to her, or let us get a cake with candles.”

Xander shifted and glanced to me again. With a loud swallow, he looked back down to his chicken.

Mom noticed and changed the subject. “Alexander, you’re in Abby’s cooking class?”

It took Xander a few seconds to answer her. “Yes, ma’am.”

Dad squawked, “And you’re still here?”

“Yes, sir.”

Dad barked a laugh. “You must really like my daughter.”

“Daddy!”

Xander found my hand and interlaced our fingers. “Yes, sir. Very much.”

The rest of dinner was filled with small talk. My parents told us to get out of the house and they would clean the dishes. The sun had set, but it was still hot outside. Xander and I walked to the neighborhood park and sat on the swings.

“Xander, when is your birthday?”

He sighed and stopped swinging. “Speaking of, we need to discuss this birthday thing.”

I found the playground sand fascinating at the moment. “No,” I muttered.

Xander held the metal chain to pull my swing toward his. “Abby, I feel like a jerk. Why don’t you celebrate your birthday?”

“I just don’t. Please, drop it.”

“I’m not dropping it. This is important.” With a jump off his swing, he knelt before me and took my hands in his. “Abby?” Ugh, those hazel eyes didn’t play fair.

I felt that awful burn behind my eyes and emotion clogged my throat. “It’s a reminder to me the one person in this world, who should have loved me unconditionally, couldn’t or wouldn’t or didn’t. It’s not a happy day for me.”

His eyes and mouth widened. “Abby, is that what you think?”

“She abandoned me outside a church with a bad heart within hours of giving birth to me. What else can I think?” Wow, this second date was taking a bad turn.

Xander shook his head. “Abby, no.”

“How do you know anything about it?” I didn’t want to fight with him, he was just trying to make me feel better, but the subject of my birth mother was a sensitive one. I bit down on my lip and looked away from him.

Xander pulled my face up. “Abby, look at me.” Running his thumb over my lip, it trembled. My tears spilled so easily for him, and he wiped them away with his thumbs.

“Don’t get me wrong, I know how blessed I am. I love my family and I’m grateful they adopted me. And maybe there was a good reason she couldn’t raise me, but I want to know her and have her be a part of my life, even a small one. But she didn’t want that. She didn’t want anything to do with me. She didn’t love me. Why? What was so awful about me that she took one look and left?”

The tears came faster. In an instant, I was no longer on the swing and in Xander’s arms. He carried me to the bench, set me down in his lap, and let me cry into his neck.

Xander combed his fingers through my hair. “Abby, how could you think such terrible thoughts?”

I was beyond words on this subject. I stayed silent and the tears slowed down. He pulled a handkerchief out from somewhere and I mopped my face.

His deep voice vibrated against my forehead. “Abby?”

“Hmm?”

He tipped my chin up and kissed the stains on my cheeks. “Did you know you were the first girl I ever asked to be my girlfriend?”

I blinked at him, shocked that he was revealing a piece of himself to me. “No.”

“Did you know you were the first girl I ever asked on a date?”

“No.”

“Did you know you were the first girl I ever kissed?”

I whispered, “No.”

There was no way any of that could be true. I had been afraid to ask about his past girlfriends because he would either close up again, or tell me what I didn’t want to hear. That he had loved another girl, given a piece of himself away, and I would become engulfed in a jealous flame that someone else held the pure innocence he could no longer give me.

Taking my hand, he put it over his heart to feel the strong beats strum against my palm. “Did you know you are the first and only girl I want to spend my every waking moment with? And when I’m away from you, a piece of myself is missing?”

I shook my head, unable to speak. His words warmed my heart and pushed away the pain I had placed around it. He kissed me and held me in his arms, staying wrapped around each other.

Once home, Xander thanked my parents for dinner and wished everyone goodnight.

He said, “I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?” I nodded, hating that he had to go. Sighing, he pulled me against him. “Dream sweet dreams, Abby. Happy one weekiversary.”

32

Abby

We found every excuse to touch each other. We kissed hello, good-bye, and stolen moments between. Xander spent every moment he could with me. We had kept our practice sessions PG rated. We both wanted more but were afraid to push too far, especially after my birthday, my last attack.

The Wrights seemed to like me, but whenever anything personal came up in conversation, everyone became tense and quiet. Xander looked up to Caleb and I wanted his approval—for Xander. So the questions mounted and I didn’t push them to explain anything. It was naive of me, but I was in love with him and afraid of what the truth would do to us.

Friday, Xander took me home and hadn’t mentioned any plans for the weekend. I figured he would be spending it with Caleb again. Xander followed me into the house, and Bozo bounded over to him barking and wagging his tail.

When Emma and Olivia came home, they pounced on Xander, too. Without missing a beat, he had them tackled and giggling from a tickle attack—something I could never tolerate. Dad had tried once when I was younger, which was the last time.

“Uncle! Uncle!” Olivia cried.

He released her and focused on Emma until she begged for mercy. Laughing, Mom went upstairs ready to take off her heels and work clothes.

“Hey, how would you girls like to go to the zoo tomorrow?” he asked them.

My good mood evaporated.

The girls squealed and hugged Xander. “Yay!” Olivia jumped up. “Margaret, Xander’s taking us to the zoo!”

Emma went to her knees and clasped her hands under her chin. “Can we get cotton candy, Xander?”

“Anything you want, my treat.”

Margaret and I exchanged a look. My headshake implored her to keep quiet. Her glare told me she would let me have it later.

Emma played with Xander’s shoelace. “What’s Abby gonna do?”

“What do you mean? She’s coming.”

Olivia giggled. “Abby can’t—”

I cut off Olivia. “Hey, girls, Margaret has cookies for you in the kitchen! Why don’t you go see what she has?”

Xander looked puzzled at my interruption.

Margaret cocked an eyebrow at me and her mouth thinned. “Um, thanks, Abigail.” Crap, I was in trouble with Margaret. “You know what would be better, girls? Make homemade cookies. Come on.”

The girls squealed again and ran into the kitchen.

Xander eyed me warily. “What’s going on?”

“Hmm? What?” I asked, blinking.

He nodded toward the kitchen. “That look with Margaret. Did I miss something?”

“Um. No.” I feigned innocence.

His brows knitted. “You sure?”

“Yep!” I sat up straighter. “You sure you want to spend the entire day with those two?”

“Yes.” He winced as the squealing continued over chocolate chips. “Yes, I am sure. I think I can handle it.” He laughed. “I hope.”

“All right, Wright. You asked for it.”

That night, I laid awake thinking about tomorrow. The zoo. Walking all day. Every time I went to the zoo, Dad pushed me in a wheelchair, which I hated. This was why I couldn’t go to theme parks, and the Phoenix Zoo was huge. There was no way I could walk the hilly terrain and it would be hot tomorrow. How could I tell Xander?
Sorry, I should have put the zoo on the list when you asked me what I couldn’t do.

I should have said something, but I didn’t. I was stalling. Xander would realize soon that I was more trouble than I was worth. Then he would dump me.

The next morning, the girls were too happy to stop the trip. They loved Xander and were excited to spend the day with him. I was petrified. There was absolutely no way I would sit in a wheelchair. No way in hell. I made sure the girls and I had hats, sunglasses, water, sunscreen, and my pills. Today would rank as one of the stupidest things I’d done, taking the place of indoor stair skiing.

Xander showed up early so we could enjoy the zoo before the temperature hit the predicted one hundred and ten degrees. He looked adorable wearing white Chucks, khaki cargo shorts, a white cotton T-shirt, sunglasses, and a Phoenix Suns ball cap.

Xander kissed me on the cheek. “Happy two weekiversary, beautiful!”

I laughed. “Happy two weekiversary, handsome.”

Margaret called from upstairs, “Abigail Miller, I need you a sec.”

Full name. Still in trouble. Xander shot me another curious look as I left him. Margaret pulled me into her room and closed the door.

She whisper-hissed, “This isn’t a good idea.”

“I know. I’ll figure it out. Okay?”

She frowned and a finger wagged in my face. “So help me, I will record my ‘I told you so’ and replay it until your ears bleed.”

Nodding, I put on a fake smile and went back to the zoo group.

Xander jutted his chin toward the stairs. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I waved him off. “She warned me on the side effects of giving the twins too many sweets. Pre-sugar, they’re like Mogwais, and after…Gremlins.”

He blinked. “Huh, okay. Well, let’s get going.”

Oh, I was a bad liar.

It was already in the high nineties when we arrived at the zoo. I tried to pay at the ticket booth, but Xander told the cashier my money was counterfeit and flashed his smile. He could have told her there was a stampede of elephants headed toward her to escape a meteor hurtling at Earth, and she wouldn’t have heard anything after his smile. She was Xanderized.

Leaning down, he whispered, “Nice try, Abby.”

Walking along the bridge overlooking a pond, the girls took pictures of the turtles and ducks with my phone. Stepping through the gate, the stroller and wheelchair rentals were on our right. Olivia asked if she could push me and I prayed Xander didn’t hear her. I ushered the twins to the bathroom with the excuse that we might not find one later.

“Okay, girls. I’m not using a wheelchair today. Do you mind not telling Xander, please? Our secret?” I held up my pinkies for the standard double pinky-swear.

Emma’s finger curled around mine. “Sure, Abby!” Olivia followed her lead.

We met Xander and started on the path. Xander held my hand as we walked, but the girls ran ahead. I asked them to slow down and stay with us. The heat of the morning made the musky animal odors more pungent. The girls pinched their noses until a duck crossed in front of us and they forgot about the bad smells.

We started with the giraffes. The twins climbed the wooden platform to get a closer look, and whined that the giraffes were feeding on the opposite side of the exhibit. They wouldn’t see them from here.

After a couple of minutes, I was ready to tell the girls to come back down. Suddenly, the giraffes stopped eating and lumbered over to us. Why would they do that?

Xander smiled. “Come on.”

He pulled me up the stairs to stand next to the twins. The giraffes poked their huge heads inside the structure and I’d never seen the girls stand so still before. Purple-black tongues reached out for us and we touched the rough texture of them. How strange, we didn’t have food. The people walking by the exhibit joined us on the platform to witness the unusual behavior.

After a sufficient amount of exhibit time, Xander clapped once. “Where to next?”

Olivia wiped a giraffe-slobbered hand onto her shirt. “The lions!”

“I want to go to the tigers!” Emma moaned.

Cringing, I folded the map. “They’re right next to each other, but the tigers are first on the trail.”

Xander tilted his head at me. “You don’t want to see the lions and tigers?”

I waved him off. “Oh yeah. Of course. They’re just…stinky.”

Emma raised her arms to Xander. “Pick me up, Xander! I want to be tall like a giraffe.”

Olivia wailed, “I wanna be like a giraffe, too.”

“Girls, Xander’s not your camel, you can walk,” I admonished them.

He shrugged, picking up Emma. “I don’t mind. Emma did ask first, though. Olivia, you can pretend to be a lion and chase after us. I’ll give you the next ride.”

With Emma on his shoulders, Xander jogged up the steep asphalt hill and Olivia was on his heels.

“Faster, Xander, the lion’s going to eat us!” Emma kicked her legs for her Xander-horse to speed up and he obliged.

Well, this was it. He would see for himself how pathetic I was. Still at the bottom of the hill, my pulse pounded and I sounded raspy, the sun burning every inch of exposed skin. I took my time and tried to hide what was going on, but I should pop a Nitroglycerin. While fumbling in my purse, I plodded along. Glancing up, Xander’s sunglasses were pointed at me. He said something to the girls, and then flew down to me, smiling. Yanking my hands out of my purse, I couldn’t hide what was going on.

“I’m onto your trick! You’re leaving me with those two blonde rascals on purpose!” he joked. Cupping my face, his smile dropped, and before I knew it, his mouth was on mine. His fingers and lips infused with heat as though someone turned his burner up and I gasped into our kiss. Inexplicably, I felt better. Drawing away from me, he held out two arms bulging with muscles. “Come on, your turn, beautiful.”

I stepped back. “Xander, no.” Oh my gosh, how embarrassing.

“I’ll throw you over my shoulder if you don’t,” he warned.

My eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”

A wicked smile formed on his lips. “Oh, I would.”

“You’re gonna tire yourself out! That’s a huge hill!” I pointed to it as though he needed reminding after running it twice.

Gone was all amusement from his face and tone. “We go together.” He waited for my sigh before scooping me up in his arms.

I didn’t slow him down in the slightest. He ran like a freaking gazelle and didn’t put me down until we reached the tigers; the gag-worthy scent of grass and stale urine hit me like a wall. Xander then perched Olivia and Emma on each shoulder so they could get a better look at the cats. Xander was fit and had incredible muscles…everywhere, but seriously, how was he doing this?

The tigers had been asleep when we arrived, but after a few seconds, they woke, yawned, and stared right at us. First instinct, I thought they were trying to figure out how to leap over the fence for a twin Happy Meal, but the two large cats rolled over onto their backs and showed their stomachs. I took pictures of Xander with the girls, then of the tigers in their strange pose.

Around the corner was the lion attraction. The same thing happened with them. They woke up and…submitted to us. We made our way through the rest of the African animals: rhinoceros, baboons, and cheetahs. The same results with each.

I gave Xander a puzzled look.

He flashed his gorgeous smile. “What?”

“You don’t find this a bit unusual?”

His head swiveled around as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. “What?”

I pointed to the bowing zebras in a semi-circle at the fence. “The animals. You didn’t notice?”

He blinked as though he just now realized. “Huh. That’s not you?”

“No, definitely not me.”

The sly grin was back and he leaned closer so his voice would rumble through me. “Maybe it’s my animal magnetism.” Xander’s eyebrows wagged above his sunglasses and he laughed when I groaned.

Xander held my hand as much as the girls would let him; surprisingly, I felt okay when he did. As soon as he let go of me to tread the steep terrain on my own, my heart would race again.

While Xander took the twins to the carousel, I stood in line for snow cones. Standing, my legs felt wobbly and exhaustion overtook me. I sat down on the bench while I waited for them to finish. The girls grabbed the flavored ice from me and Xander kissed my cheek as I bit into my cone. The ice felt refreshing in my mouth but didn’t cool me off, even under the shade. Emma and Olivia wanted to keep going, but Xander asked them to rest.

Even though it was blazing hot out, Xander pulled my back flush to his chest and I was thankful for the makeshift recliner. We were only a third of the way through the park, and the temperature was over one hundred degrees. I didn’t have a clue how I would make the rest of the trip. The girls sucked down their snow cones and Xander pulled my hand to continue.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking me over.