Read To Have And To Hold Online
Authors: Yvette Hines
“Kelli Delaney.” He spoke to her once he’d reached her table.
Oblivious to anything around her, she turned at the sound of his voice. Will watched her light brown gaze go from expressionless to recognition. A smile broke the somber look on her face and stopped his heart.
Launching herself out of the seat, which had to be a feat considering the size of the skirt on her wedding dress, she threw her arms around him in a quick embrace. “Will Robertson!
Ohmygod
...”
He had no other choice but to wrap his arms around her and squeeze. The perfume, oil, or scented lotion that she used surrounded them. Will couldn’t put his finger on the smell, but the sweet, subtle scent touched his senses like a caress. He cleared his throat and stepped back. If he hadn’t broken contact with her his body would let everyone in the restaurant know how he felt about her. In a bold way.
Her hand rose to her mouth, in shock. “It’s been so long.”
“Do you mind if I join you? Or are you awaiting the groom?” He could feel his heart beating against his ribcage as he awaited her answer.
“That’s doubtful.” Waving her hand in the air, she resumed her seat. “Please, sit.”
Will claimed the blond wood chair across from her as he watched her push and finagle the puffy material under the table away from her drink.
A waitress with the name tag that read Vera stepped over to them. “Can I get you something, sir?”
Peeping across the table into the porcelain cup, he asked, “What are you drinking, Kelli?”
“Their natural ginger tea with cream and sugar.” Kelli told him.
Raising an eyebrow at Kelli, he refrained from commenting, but instead turned to Vera and ordered, “A carafe of the tea and coffee as well.”
The waitress jotted down the information on a hand pad. “I’ll be right back with it, sir.”
When she walked away, Kelli was the first to speak. “So, Will, how have you been?”
“Let’s discard the elephant in the middle of the room, first.” He leaned back in his chair, making himself comfortable on the hard seat. “What brings you to Asheville?”
Raising her cup, she sipped from it again. He noted she didn’t return it to the saucer, but instead clutched it as if the item was her sole salvation. “I’m not really in Asheville, I’m just passing through. I needed some gas so I got off the interstate. After two hours of being in the car I just wanted to sit still somewhere and think.”
Gesturing toward her dress, he questioned, “So, am I to assume you’re on your way to your wedding?”
Her teeth seized her bottom lip. The plumpness of it didn’t escape his notice. Redirecting his gaze back to hers, he waited.
“From is more like it.” She pulled the cup toward her, but didn’t drink. For a brief moment she just inhaled as if the smell of it aided her in some way.
“The runaway bride?”
“The dumped bride.” The sullen look returned to her eyes as she glanced past his shoulder for a moment.
“Who’s the fool?” He vocalized his thoughts.
She set the cup down. “The one and only Brett Cardwell.”
Damn
. Will had observed his fellow baseball teammate’s relationship with Kelli and had always hoped that after graduation she had come to her senses. Apparently it had never happened. “I always knew he wasn’t a smart man.”
“You would never be able to convince his mother of that fact. Brett made them proud the day he passed the bar, now he’ll be holding the firm’s reigns with his father.” She pasted a broad smile on her face.
“How is Mrs. Cardwell?”
“As bitchy as always.” She took a deep drink of her creamed tea mixture.
The waitress chose that moment to bring the two carafes and another coffee cup for him. “There’s cream and sugar in the bowl. Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks, Vera.” Will said, as he filled his cup with coffee. Raising the cup, he tasted the bitter smooth blend. “I guess that means there’s no love lost there.” He responded to Kelli’s comment.
“Not.” She glanced off in the distance then returned back to his face. “Not having her as a mother in-law is something I’m very happy about. With that woman, there was no pleasing her.” She paused and gave a dry laugh. “Unless she got it her way.” She added more tea to her cup. “Then she’s happy as a dog with a damn steak bone.”
Laughing, Will watched her add two creams and four sugars to the small cup of tea. He wondered if the tea was just used to heat up her cream and sugar. Syrupy sweet. The words played in his mind as Kelli took a healthy sip of the drink. He didn’t have a sweet tooth and rarely did he indulge in deserts, but he had a weakness for Kelli Delaney that went beyond rational thought. When her pink tongue slid out of her mouth to take away a small drop of tea from her bottom lip he almost groaned out loud and his dick awakened for the second time that day. An urge to lean over the table and kiss her just to see if the flavor was captured on her tongue caused tension to curl at the base of his spine. If his arousal heightened any further he’d need to undo his pants so he didn’t pass out from blood flow constrictions.
This woman had the power to bring him to his knees. He wondered what she’d do if she knew.
Over the years he’d been around her and since, he’d learned to master his desires. It had become a survival skill to him. Distracting himself from his thoughts, he rubbed his hand across his chin as she continued.
“Everything always had to go how she wanted it. No one else’s opinion mattered.” She grabbed a napkin from the holder on the table and began picking at the corners in frustration.
“Like what?” He encouraged her, seeing her irritation and wanting her to talk through it.
She made an unladylike snort. “The entire wedding. I wanted to have the wedding at an old church in Fayetteville, where my grandparents married, because I wanted to feel like they were there. A part of it. Since my mother died while I was in middle school, they were all that I had until they died while I was in college.” Her eyes filled with water, and she used the napkin to dab at the tears.
By the jet black smudge underneath, Will could tell it wasn’t the first time she cried that day.
“Mrs. Cardwell put an end to that. She said that the church wasn’t big enough to hold the guests who were coming.
Their
guests, is what she meant. One hundred and seventy-eight people she had to invite, to be exact.” She focused on her hands as they started plucking at the corners of the napkin. “I wanted cream and Carolina blue—”
“Your favorite color,” Will chimed in.
“Yeah.” The look in her eyes became warm, appearing more golden than brown. “You remembered. Brett never did.”
One day they’d talked for an hour while he walked her back to her dorm room when Brett had been too drunk after a winning game to do it. She had told him that her grandparents didn’t have much money and could only afford for her to attend an in state college. So, she had chosen University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill because of the colors. “I remembered a lot of things about you,” he said, his tone low as he gestured for her to continue.
“Like how stupid I was to stay with Brett, especially considering he made cheating his minor.”
Will raised his eyebrow at her.
“I knew. Everyone thought I was oblivious, but I wasn’t.” She shook her head, then pushed the curls away from her face. Determined to stay put, the curls returned.
He would have laughed if the moment wasn’t so serious.
“Brett and I got into a big fight the next day after he was too drunk to get me home. I’d had it and I was going to break up with him. Then the dean called me to tell me that he’d been notified of my grandmother dying in a car accident and my grandfather’s heart attack.” She stopped talking, closed her eyes then took a deep breath.
When she opened her eyes, Will could almost feel the intensity of her pain.
“Brett was there for me. For once in all the time we had dated, and he was all that I had. So, I stayed.”
“People have done the same thing for less.” He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her. He could tell that losing her grandparents was still a deep hurt for her.
“Five years, four months, and three days...to end up with a hairstyle I wouldn’t give to my poodle and a dress that looks like a ballerina’s tutu gone wrong.” She started laughing.
He joined in. He always loved the sound of her laugh, even though in college she had done it rarely around Brett. He had to agree with her, the dress was ridiculous looking in all of its layers and mass, not to mention the puffy sleeves made it down right hideous.
“Tell me, Will, who picks apple and citrus?” Her words were still filled with mirth and the light had returned to her eyes.
He was almost afraid to ask. “For a fruit basket or a wedding?”
“A fruit basket...only if. I don’t know if you remember Patricia Hargrove.”
“Your crazy best friend who would attend the games and yell at the umpire and make silly comments about the other team’s players.”
She laughed harder. “That’s her. Well, let’s just say that citrus doesn’t compliment her platinum colored hair at all.”
“The blue would’ve looked good.” He told her.
Kelli graced him with one of her sweet smiles. “Yeah, it would have.” She sighed. “I will agree with Mrs. Cardwell that Barrington’s restaurant would have been nice.”
Nodding, he agreed. “I’ve been there before, it’s very nice.” He finished his coffee and refilled it. “So, where are you headed?”
She pushed the shredded pile of napkin away toward the wall side of the table. “A cabin in Gatlinburg. The only thing I did get to chose was the honeymoon.”
“Gatlinburg. My family did a few summer vacations out there.” He drank from his fresh cup of coffee and returned it to the saucer. “Isn’t it going to be weird being at the place you and Brett planned to start the rest of your life?”
“No. Brett couldn’t be bothered with the arrangements because of school and studying for the bar, so I got to do everything on my own.” A sly smile graced her mouth. “Outside of Patricia, he was the only person who knew where we were going and I made him promise not to tell his mother.”
“I’m sure it will be a much needed rest. It’ll be a great place to rejuvenate yourself.”
“Yes, it will.”
They both sat quiet for a moment. There was an awkward silence at the table. Will knew it was the moment he was supposed to politely say ‘have a nice trip’ and leave, but he couldn’t push himself to say it. He didn’t want to end this time with Kelli. He thought about her over the years and had wondered what she was doing, if she was happy. Pondered a million what if’s in his mind. Now, to have her close once again, he didn’t want to let her go.
“Come with me.”
Chapter Two
He wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly, believing his imagination was playing a wicked trick on him. “Excuse me?”
Leaning forward as if she didn’t want him to miss her words, “Come with me, Will.”
Nope, he’d heard right. “Kelli, you just had the love of your life stand you up on your wedding day. The last thing you need is an old college friend intruding on that time.” Damn, those were the hardest words he had to say. “Besides, Brett may come there looking for you.”
“If Brett wanted to look for me, he could’ve started at the altar today.” She pushed her cup over to join the paper pile. “You’re right, Will, this has been an embarrassing day. But
the last thing I need or want
is to sit in that cabin and have a pity party.”
“Meaning?” He encouraged her to say the words he needed to hear. Even though he knew he must turn her down, once in his life he wanted to know that Kelli wanted him. Needed him. “I’m not sure I’m the one that should be up there holding your hand. Maybe Patricia can meet you there.”
For a long moment she just stared at him, as if she were contemplating the state of the world. Then her hand glided across the cool wood surface and held his. “What I need, Patricia can’t give me.”
Electric currents leaped from the contact of their skin and warm heat radiated under her hand and snaked up his arm, but he never ventured away from her gaze. “And that is?”
Tell me you want me
. Will’s inner voice pleaded.
“I want you,” she confirmed.
Will’s heart sang. He felt like Gene Kelly in
Sing in the Rain
. He wanted to run outside and yell at the top of his lungs. But, he resisted the urge. Kelli didn’t know what she was asking. She didn’t know what being with him would truly entail. “I don’t think it will be wise—”
“Why, are you seeing someone? Is that the issue?”
He noticed a shadow moving across her eyes.
Did that mean that it would hurt her to know someone else was in my life?
“No.” He looked down at her hand, a classic sienna brown, resting on his light tan one. “Kelli, there’s more differences between the two of us than the color of our skin.”
She pulled her hand back and cool air replaced the warmth that was there from her touch.
“What do you mean?”
His eyes met her light brown ones. “There’s things about me you don’t know. Things I’m not sure you’d be ready to find out or could even handle.” Lifting his cold drink to his mouth he sipped, giving her time to process he statement.
“Will, are you gay? Is that the problem?” she whispered.
Swallowing quickly, he assured her, “No, I’m not gay.” He had to laugh. If Kelli could read his mind, she would know that he was a very heterosexual male. “Why would you think that I was?”
“I’ve known you for years, and while we were in college I’ve never known you to date anyone. Hell, Patricia said she asked you out before and you turned her down.”
Yeah, her best friend had asked him out, but he knew Patricia wasn’t serious. Not to mention he couldn’t find anyone to take his mind off of Kelli long enough to date anyone. “That’s because Patricia only wanted to go out with me to make her boyfriend jealous. Did she and Lee finally marry?”
“No, they broke up shortly after graduation and Patricia met and fell in love with a wonderful guy name Carl, who was an officer in the military, and she married him in traditional Tricia way, fast.”