To Light and Guard (6 page)

Luke laughed
hard this time, and I felt the rumble of laughter in his chest.  It was a deep sound that echoed in the night. 

“You could say that,” he said.

The feeling was mutual.  We made each other happy, and I wish this feeling would never end.  I think this is what love feels like.

CHAPTER
12

The next morning, we were having breakfast, and I caught Mom staring at me.  She looked at me with a frown, and
I felt that I was in trouble somehow.  I gulped.

“Paige, are you o
kay?” she asked.

             
“Sure, Mom,” I said. 
Why wouldn’t I be okay?
I was delusional, sure, but other than that, life was pretty good.

             
“You have black rims around your eyes as if you haven’t slept for weeks,” Mom said.  Like spectators following the ball at a tennis match, Dad and Emma both looked at me, their heads swinging in my direction at the same time.

             
Oh, that.  Sleeping kind of got in the way of hanging out with my angel at night, and oops, I forgot to put concealer around my eyes this morning.

             
“I’m fine, Mom,” I said with a smile as I stuffed my mouth with Mom’s omelet.  

“Have you been sleeping well?” Dad asked
.  He was now openly staring at me.

“Uh-huh,” I said, chewing my food
.  I’m quite glad that my mouth was full, and I wasn’t able to explain anything right now.

Without saying anything else and without looking at any of them,
I finished my breakfast very quickly.  I wiped my mouth with a napkin, and I stood up. 

“Emma
, time to go to school,” I said as I gave her what I hoped was a very persuasive older-sister look.  I leaned down to pat Buffy’s head and picked up my army green messenger bag from the floor. I headed towards the door to the garage. 

I looked back and gave
Mom and Dad a smile.  “The early bird catches the early worm,” I said.  I was trying to quote Dad, but I wasn’t sure if I quoted him correctly.  That quote never made sense to me since I didn’t know what an early bird was and thought that all birds woke up early… but the quote wasn’t important, and I was just trying to make a quick getaway.  Missing sleep so I can talk to an angel was a little hard to explain.  I should take a nap after getting home from school today.

             
Emma stood up grumbling, “You used to always be late, now you are always early.  What is wrong with you?”

             
“Being an early bird,” I said.  “Come on, Emma.  Let’s go catch us some worms.” 

             
I gave Mom and Dad a Vulcan wave and walked away from them, hoping that Emma would be right behind me.

CHAPTER
13

My sister and I are very close, and
I wanted to tell her everything.  For weeks now, I wanted to tell her about Luke and how I really felt about him. Emma was my sister, but she was also my best friend.  We had a lot of things in common, and we shared pretty much everything… but even though I wanted to, I knew that what was happening to me was weird.  I should be cautious.   

S
omewhere deep inside of me, I just knew that telling Emma about my secret will somehow get us in big trouble.  It was the same feeling I got when I had the urge to tell Mom and Dad.  For now, it was better that no one knew that I can see my guardian angel.  Keeping some secrets was my way of protecting all of us – to keep us safe.  I’m not quite sure why I felt that way.

Regardless, I also believed that Emma had a right to know something.  Maybe not everything, but I can spin it in a way that she would believe me and not cause any problems.  

“Emma, can you keep a secret?” I asked as I drove us to school. 

             
“Not really.”

             
“Emma…” I whined. 

             
“Oh, you know, I’ll keep your secret.  Well, unless if it’s really juicy, then I have to tell at least three people.”

“Emma…”   

              “Okay, okay… I promise.” She made a zipping motion with her finger over her mouth.  “This better be
really
good though.”

Good enough
.

“You know about the
zing
, right?” I asked.  I let go of the steering wheel for a second as I did air quotes with my fingers when I said “
zing
.”   It wasn’t the smartest thing to do when you’re driving, but I had a guardian angel looking after me now.  What the heck?  I can be reckless sometimes.

“Yes,” Emma g
rumbled, “I’m very familiar with the
zing
.”  Without looking at her, I knew she was rolling her eyes. 

The ‘
zing
’ was a term used in the cartoon Hotel Transylvania, which also means spark, chemistry, or magic between two people.  When realized, this
zing
it can literally knock you off your feet.   I know Emma knows what I am talking about since I made Emma watch Hotel Transylvania with me on opening day.  I also bought the DVD when it came out and made Emma watch it with me again.  I am proud to say that I have now experienced the ‘
zing
.’  Folks, just in case you were wondering, the
zing
is very real.

             
I looked in my rearview mirror to make sure that Luke wasn’t in the car with us.  He wasn’t. Our windows were closed, so even if he was flying above us, he shouldn’t be able to hear us.  That was good because this was a private conversation between sisters.

             
“I met someone,” I said.  “I felt the
zing
.”  

             
“With an actual, living person?” she asked.

             
“Yes,”  I said… well, Luke was kind of an actual, living person – sort of.

             
“Oh,” Emma said, “because you don’t date much.  I was sort of having doubts about you.”  I glared at her, and she was grinning. “I thought you would be waiting for Clark Kent or something. You know, someone super.”

             
Exasperated, I said, “Of course I date.  Remember that guy I went out with last summer?”

Emma giggled.  “Drew?”  
She covered her mouth with one hand trying to control her laughter.

I nodded.

“Wasn’t he the stand-in for the Green Lantern?” she asked innocently. 

“Emma…”
  She was right, though.  He really was.

“Well, you’ve gotta see my point
.”

I kept quiet and waited for her to get serious
.  In my head, I slowly counted to ten; it usually takes ten seconds before I can talk to Emma about something important. 

“
Fine,” Emma said. “Let’s talk about this new guy – the one with the
zing
.  What does he look like?”

I almost didn’t answer he
r because I did see her point, and she is so going to laugh when I answer her question.

"So?  What does he look like?" she asked again.

“Bruce Wayne,” I said.  "He looks like Bruce Wayne."
But with wings, and deep purple eyes, and a deep voice to die for, and he was so gorgeous I could look at him all day. 
By the way, I tried to take his picture once on my iPhone so that I could literally look at him all day, but nothing showed up. 
Nada
.  (I took a Spanish One class in my sophomore year, and just in case you were wondering, ‘
nada’
means ‘nothing’ in Spanish. This pretty much sums up what I learned from the class.
Nada.)

Seated
in the passenger seat beside me, Emma laughed very loudly while continuously muttering, “Bruce Wayne.”  It was the ugly kind of laugh with snorts.  She leaned forward and threw her head back, clutching her tummy as she laughed. There was some drool dripping on one side of her lip.  Seriously, my sister is a very pretty girl, but her ugly laugh is downright hideous. 

I waited
patiently for her chuckles and snorts to die down. After about a minute, she finally looked at me and noticed that I wasn’t laughing with her.

“Oh, you’re serious,” she said
with another snort.  She had a big smile on her face as she wiped the drool off her mouth on her sleeve.
Ugh!
   

“
Bruce Wayne, huh?  So, where did you and Batman meet?” she asked. 

“In school,” I said, which was
the truth, because that was where I saw him for the first time. 

             
“What’s his name?” she asked.

I kept quiet.

              “You can’t tell me you met someone, and not tell me his name,” she said.  “I know him, don’t I?  That’s why you’re so secretive.”  Emma was silent for a while.              “It’s Colin Stroud,” she said confidently. “I knew it!  He’s always hanging around you, walking you to class… Well, it’s about time, you two…”

             
“It’s not Colin,” I said, “Colin and I are just friends.” And we truly are just friends.  It’s hard to get involved with someone you’ve met in kindergarten, and I’ve seen him in full tantrum mode during time out.  That is a total
zing
-killer.  Trust me on this.   

             
Emma sighed.  “That’s too bad. He’s really hot.”

             
“Trust me. 
My
Bruce Wayne is hotter.”  I’m still
zinging
. 

              I entered the school parking lot. I turned and immediately found a spot; I proceeded to park my car.

             
“And you felt the zing?” Emma asked.

             
I nodded.

             
“Like you were zapped?”

             
I nodded again.

             
“What’s it like?”

             
I glanced at her for a second.  “Emma, I stopped breathing.  It hit me in the chest like lightning.  I’m still trying to cope with
the zing
.” 

“
Okay. I’ll let the name thing slide for now, but I better meet him soon.” I didn’t see her face when she said it, but I knew she was smiling. She was happy I finally met someone.  She always found it weird that I wasn’t really attracted to the guys in our school.

“Has he asked you
out, yet?” she asked.

“No,” I said.  “Well, not really.”
Well, maybe.  I mean, we have been hanging out every night since I first saw him. I was just a bit confused at times, and I didn’t know how to define our relationship. I knew I had feelings for him, but what if I was just another human for him to guard.  Was I special to him? And when I say
special,
I mean
special
in a good way. 
Do you know what I mean?

             
“Well, don’t make plans tonight,” Emma said. “Remember you have to take me to a party.”

Right.  Today was Friday, and
it seemed like every Friday night, Emma had a party to go to.  Of course, my parents would want me to go with her.  Although Emma was technically the smart one, I would always remain the older one.  Tonight, I will be Emma’s bodyguard, except I wasn’t that strong and would be useless as a bodyguard.  So, I was more like her useless conscience following her around her stupid party.  You could call me Jiminy. 
Ever heard of him?
   

“O
kay,” I said, but she should already know.  I usually didn’t have plans on Friday nights - or Saturday nights - unless you call sneaking in the backyard and talking to my angel plans.  Actually, now that I think about it,
I
certainly can.  That’s because I’m
special.

“No.  No plans tonight.” I
said with a sigh.  I can always meet up with Luke after the party. 

CHAPTER 14

              “I hope we’re not trespassing,” I said to Emma as we walked up the long driveway, which led to a very large mansion in Beverly Hills. There were cars parked all along the driveway, and it was obvious that there was a party here tonight.

“Don’t worry. 
Everything’s legal.  It’s Yolanda’s boyfriend’s sister’s husband’s step-mom’s house,” Emma said in one breath. 

With all the words that came out of her mouth, I still didn’t know whose house it belonged to
.  I hesitated because I know Yolanda’s boyfriend; he was really sketchy.

“That means
absolutely nothing to me,” I said.
“You know I’m eighteen now.  I’m no longer considered a minor, and I could get into serious trouble. If I get arrested, I’ll be tried as an adult.”  That was what Dad told me as soon as I turned eighteen.  I’m not sure why I keep thinking about going to jail, but what Dad told me scared the bejesus out of me.

“You worry too much.  Come on,” Emma said as she walked up the steps towards the front door.  Even from outside, I could hear the music blaring.

From the sky
, Luke descended in front of us.  He landed in front of the house, blocking the door.  His wings automatically retracted behind his back. His expression was dark, and he had a frown on his handsome face.  His arms were crossed over his bare chest.  I knew what he was thinking - that we shouldn’t be here, that this didn’t seem like a good idea, but I was a teenager with a determined younger sister, so here I am.  

I watched as Emma walked through him as if he didn’t exist, and she opened the door to the house.

I paused.  Luke
waited, and he didn’t move out of the way.
Was that a challenge?
  I took a few slow steps forward, closed my eyes, and walked right through him.  I smiled when I felt something touch my cheek… graze the back of my neck… lift my hair.  I inhaled as I savored the sensation.  Then, cool as a cucumber, I continued walking through the door and followed her inside the house.

When my eyes
finally opened, Emma was staring at me.

“What?” she asked her eyes narrowing.

“What?” I asked back. It was a question for a question.  It works sometimes on Emma, but on Mom and Dad – not so much.  I looked at her innocently, giving her my best deer-caught-in-headlights look.  (I practiced this look many times in the mirror.  It looks awesome, and it always works like a charm.)  Eyes wide, not blinking, head tilted to the right in a forty-five degree angle. 

I waited
for a response without speaking and looked at Emma, pretending that I was innocent like a deer.

“You’re weird,” she said
, looking around.  She sniffed the air.  “I smell cats.  My asthma might kick in.  Keep your phone on, Paige. I might need to leave early.”  Emma pointed to her throat.  “I think my throat is already closing up.”  I rolled my eyes; that’s because my sister did not have asthma. 

Emma walked away.
“Hey, if you see your boyfriend, make sure you come find me,” she said, looking at me over her shoulder.  “I want to check him out, and if anyone bothers you, text me. I’ll come rescue you.” I rolled my eyes again.

Emma
was already headed towards the music, where her crowd would be.  
Typical Emma behavior...
and because I couldn’t resist my own nature, I did what I normally did at parties.  I walked towards the beat of no drums and away from the music.

“Rescue you?” Luke asked from behind me.

“Yeah,” I whispered, “she thinks she’s my guardian angel.”
I snickered.  If Emma only knew that I already had one of those.  Although, I have to admit that her popularity shields me from some of the mean girls in school. I explored the mansion with Luke; it was big and beautiful with very little furniture, and it had a spiral staircase that was worthy of a southern plantation.  

After my self-guided tour,
I saw Cindy, my lab partner from sophomore year, sitting on a couch in one of the three over-sized living rooms on the ground floor.  Although I didn’t recognize the two girls she was sitting with, I already knew that they were definitely
my
crowd.  They were the ‘I’m here because of my little sibling’ crowd – or the designated driver crowd.

Cindy
flagged me down waving her hand wildly in the air.  “Paige, over here,” she said as she patted the seat next to her.  I sat down, and Luke followed.  He stood next to the couch beside me, and I resisted the urge to talk to him.  I looked at Cindy with a smile and listened to her talk. A few people came by to say hello, and I forced myself to be social and friendly.  I even laughed a few times.  

             
After a few minutes, my friends, Raine and Tommy, walked in holding hands.  Looking at them, you knew that they shared something deeper. There were ‘
zings
’ all over them, between them, all around them.  All of us girls could sense it, and we were all secretly jealous because they found something magical that the rest of us didn’t have… but I did have it, my mind argued, albeit with an invisible angel.  I groaned, and my head automatically dropped into my hands.  How was it possible to find the love of your life at eighteen?  I peeked at Raine through half-opened fingers and realized that it probably happened more often than people think.

Even as my heart denied it,
I realized that I could never have a real relationship, at least, not with Luke. I had my plans that included an ordinary life with an awesome family and living in Los Angeles.  Maybe I’ll even have a job, and in the weekends, I will drive my two point five kids to soccer practice in my SUV.   Those were my plans for the future.  They were normal, simple plans, and before meeting Luke, I thought my plans were all attainable because they were so dull and ordinary.  Now, all I could think of is how I could somehow have it all with one gorgeous angel guarding me.  

I was lost in thought when I noticed someone standing right in front of me
, holding a red plastic cup in front of my face. I sat up straight, my arms dropping automatically. Whatever the drink was, it didn’t look healthy, and drinking it would probably land me in trouble. I looked at the arm the drink was connected to, and the guy that the arm was connected to, and I saw Colin’s smiling face.

“Hey Harper,” he said. 
I smiled back, but I gently pushed the cup away.

“I’m the designated driver,” I said.
  

It would be so much easier
if I fell in love with someone else, someone like Colin, who can give me a normal relationship.  Even as I thought about it, I felt Luke standing next to me and realized that the person I fall in love with wasn’t really up to me.  It was up to my heart or whatever it was inside of me that made these type of very important decisions - my soul, maybe.  

“
Oh look,” my angel said from somewhere behind me, “it’s your boyfriend.”   Luke said it softly, but it seemed like he was gritting his teeth when he said it, and his voice sounded very deep and scratchy. Of course, I heard him clearly, but like always,
I
was the only one who heard him.  That seemed to be the problem.

M
y response was automatic, and more silent than his.

No. 
You’re my boyfriend
.