To Ocean's End (43 page)

“All things turn to dust. C’mon.” Sam led me to the back yard and the enthusiastic chatter died down as they all looked at me. O’Toole ran over, gibbering away, and locked me in a bear hug. I blinked a few times, then pried him off. He smacked a kiss on my cheek, then started gibbering away in his nonsensical speech. I wiped my cheek with a sleeve, a half-smile on my face and a small lump in my throat. If he could still like me after all that crap, maybe there was room for redemption after all. “You are one weird ship idiot, O’Toole,” I said in a thick voice. He lunged for another hug and kiss but, thankfully, I caught him by the arms in time.

Sam said, “Stop that, O’Toole! Once is enough.” The Irishman gibbered some more as he scurried back to the table.

The rest of the crew lined up to welcome me. I got bombarded with hugs and warm welcomes, and a dual ass-grab from Ed and Ted. They laughed at my yelp. I was happy to have such a warm greeting after all the crap we went through, but I just didn’t feel like I deserved any of it. On top of that, I was still absorbing the loss of my home.

Mido hugged and welcomed me after the techies. “No quiche this morning. Hope you don’t mind.”

“No. I’m just glad you’re alive and have chosen to stick around.”  If I didn’t have my crew with me right now, I would’ve broken beyond repair.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily.”

He had one leg in a knee brace, and the other in an ankle brace. “How on earth are you on your feet right now?”

“Good pain killers,” he said, then stepped back for the next crew member to welcome me. Jessie.

What little happiness I’d gained vanished. I lost my wan smile, too. She looked whole and hale but lost her smile when our eyes met. Her face mirrored the sorrow weighing my heart down. She stood before me, eyes glistening. A lump formed in my throat and my eyes stung. The one person who’d tried so hard to help me lift my curse, just to fail. I caressed her cheek with a finger, just like after we’d escaped the sea monster that’d chased us that day. She slipped her arms under mine and hugged me, resting her head on my shoulder. I broke down, wrapped her in a tight hug, and fought a lost battle against a flood of tears. “I’m sorry,” I said in a thick whisper. “I’m so sorry. For everything I’ve put you through.” She hugged me tighter and I felt her shudder with tears of her own. “I’ve been so blind to how she felt about me. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for this.”

“No, I do. You’ve all been trying to help me lift my curse so I can live the rest of my days in peace as pure human. I’ve been trying so hard to lift it just so I can die. Instead, so many innocent people I’ve cared about died for my selfishness. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” We stood there and cried silent tears. I couldn’t move or loosen my hug. I wanted to curl up in a dark hole and cry, but Jessie’s company saved me from hurting alone.

Jessie pulled back and ran a hand through my hair, then cupped my tear-stained cheek. “No apology necessary, Dyne Lavere,” she said in a resonant voice that wasn’t her own. She stepped back, blinked a few times, then the real Jessie looked at me, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Her tearful gaze shifted to over my shoulder. She gasped. So did the rest of my crew.

I spun around. A ten-foot-tall Amphitrite sat astride a kelpie twice as big as a clydesdale, golden mane and brilliant white coat gleaming, despite the fog. The kelpie bent a knee and Amphitrite slid off with the grace only a goddess could muster. It looked more like she floated to the ground, then landed on her bare feet with the lightest of touches.

Head bowed, I walked over to her, stopping once I saw the kelpie’s hooves. “Just take me. I give up.”

“No,” she said gently.

I looked up. What did--?

“I still love you but no. It is I who has gone too far all this time.” Amphitrite lowered to one knee, bring herself eye-level with me.

She’d... she’d never done anything less than look down on me before. I could do nothing but watch in open confusion. She wore the same heartbroken expression Jessie had, but she was also smiling as tears rolled down her cheeks. She really didn’t hate me after all. Even after what I’d done with Rhode. She’d let go of it now that I’d let go of getting cursed.

“Both you and my avatar have opened my eyes to many things. I have much to do from this day forward. I’ve been living in denial for so long, but when you killed Tethys, I could no longer deny the truth. I felt nothing when I forced you to make love to me, nothing but the void in my heart I’ve been trying to fill. And then I felt regret as you broke under my scorn. I’ve gone too far. Much too far. I will always love, but from afar from now on.”

“I’m sorry.” I truly felt sorry for her. Shortly after waking in her bed, I’d developed a hunch she’d been using me to fill an emotional void, and it hadn’t gone well. It sucked falling in love with someone who had no desire to reciprocate. It’d happened to me many times.

“Don’t be. I brought it upon myself. I’ve even tried to force you to love me, yet all our times together can’t compare to the pure joy and emotion those two share with each other.” She gestured to Mido and Jessie. “I’ve been living a false life, but now I know what I must do to fix it, starting with you.” Her voice tightened. “This day is bittersweet. Dyne Lavere, I free you from your curse.”

She lifted my chin with two large, radiant fingers and brought her face close to mine. She kissed me gently on the lips and I felt something pass through my body like I was standing with my back to shore while a wave retreats. She slowly pulled away, taking the curse with her. My entire body went weak and I suddenly couldn’t figure out which way the ground was tilting. Amphitrite guided me to the ground by two fingers without letting me fall. Jessie propped me up against her chest and held my shoulders.

“You are finally free to live out your days as you see fit. You are finally free to grow old and die, as all men must do. Farewell, dear mortal.” She rose and mounted the kelpie, then rode off, hooves thundering and her hair and the kelpie’s mane flying. Poseidon was visible near the shore, astride his own kelpie. So my question in the palace must’ve gotten through to him after all. I watched her departure, until she caught up with her husband and both gods rode out of sight.

And just like that, I was no longer cursed. I was a regular human again. I could die. Or I could live. Right now, I was at a loss for what to do. At the very least, I needed to get back up. I sat upright and took a deep breath. “Help me up.” Sam held out a hand. I took it and he helped pull me onto unsteady feet. I wavered, but I caught myself and held still for a moment. I felt weak, yet felt my strength returning. Once I trusted my feet, I let go of Sam’s hand, wiped my eyes, and faced my crew. They looked ready to dish out another round of hugs, and some ass grabs from two particular techies.

Ed said, “Well this turned out to be an extra celebratory day!” He and Ted came over and escorted me to the table almost faster than my feet could keep up with. My beaming crew congratulated me over and over, and gave me friendly slaps on my back and shoulders I passed them. The two techies half pushed, half guided me into the fold-up seat at the head of the table. It was long enough to accommodate the entire crew, and laden with plates, cutlery, cups, napkins, and bowls of strawberries and green grapes. I just stared dumbly at it all as my brain tried to catch up with what just happened.

The rest of the crew joined me at the table, stepping over the benches and setting cloth napkins on their laps. Jessie and Mido went to a griddle and grill, and took a few trips to bring over heaping plates of pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, and ham. I was floored. The effort they’d had to put forth to set up such a grand banquet so far from the ship... I wanted to cry some more, but my brain was deep in blank mode and my emotions couldn’t seem to settle on anything good or bad to feel.

Well this explained why the galley had looked a bit empty.

Rammus laughed. “Captain, you look like you don’t know what to do with yourself.”

“I don’t,” I admitted, staring openly at the steaming feast.

“Start by enjoying breakfast,” Scully said. He poured himself a tin of coffee, then handed me the pot.

I took it and looked at the glass thing a moment. It was like everything in life suddenly had a new perspective and meaning now that I was pure human. It all seemed so precious, instead of endless. “I can do that.” I poured myself a mug.

All twelve of us settled down to filling our plates with a wonderful breakfast, and it really was wonderful. My smile was full and genuine. My heart still ached, but I had so many reasons to be happy right then. I would never forget this day.

Rammus, seated on my right, got to his feet and stood behind the bench and held up his hands. “Now, before we all dig in, Captain, I believe you mentioned a few days ago that you had things you wanted to discuss as a crew.”

I looked at Rammus, then at the rest of my crew. Ed hastily put down his fork and covered his mouth, then looked at me with apologetic eyes. I pushed to my feet and smoothed down the front of my coat. “In light of my sudden curse-free status, I have to admit that everything I had prepared to say just went out the window.” There was no need to relinquish my role as Captain anymore, nor go into hiding from the rest of the world. Retirement was in order, but not today. I was no longer a hazard any more than the next person. “Instead, I’d like to express my gratitude to all of you for sticking with me through all this. It’s far more kindness than I deserve. So thank you. All of you.” I grabbed my mug. “And to you especially, Jessie, the avatar who successfully helped me lift my curse. You’ve gone above and beyond. I can’t thank you enough.”

She raised her mug to me. “You’re welcome. You’re very welcome.”

“And I guess this means we can start calling you Amphitrite now, seeing as how there won’t be any confusion and such.”

She made a pensive frown. “I kind of feel like ‘Jessie’ suits me better now.”

“Well that saves us the trouble of remembering,” Sam said lightly.

The rest of my crew laughed. I held up my mug and all eyes fell on me again. “To a new chapter in our lives.” They all echoed my words and a round of mug-clinking followed, and then we all tucked in to my first breakfast as pure human in well over two hundred years.

Chapter 33

To Ocean’s End

I woke up to an alarm clock beeping away on the first morning of my lockdown that didn’t need to take place. I shot a hand out of my bunk and groped around the floor until I found the darn thing, and smacked the off button. I let out a relieved sigh, then gave my ears a moment to register the peaceful hum of the noise machine emanating from the hall. My brain stopped tricking itself into thinking it was still hearing the alarm, and I slid out of my bunk and stood before the cloth curtain nailed and taped over my cabin door.

I knew I wasn’t cursed anymore but, after almost two hundred and fifty years of monthly lockdowns, old habits die hard. I also knew being exposed to a light source wouldn’t trigger a transformation, but that voice of doubt was annoyingly loud in my head.

I took a deep breath in hopes of calming my nerves, then reached for the tape sealing the cloth to the doorframe as I kicked aside my boots, which were anchoring down the base. I paused with my hand near the tape as my heart rate skyrocketed. I knew I wasn’t gonna transform. I’d felt the curse leave me. But...

I steeled myself and ripped the tape away before I could chicken out. Soft hall lighting snuck in, and then the cloth fell back into place, memory of Jessie sneaking into my container with a lantern flashing across my mind. My heart lodged in my throat as I stifled a cry of alarm. I stood there, frozen with fear, until I realized I felt no tingling or aching sensations. I whipped aside the curtain and stuck out a bare arm. I scrutinized myself for any signs of color change but my skin tone remained human. I stepped into the hallway and braced myself for the tingling and aching, but I remained feeling no more than a little sleepy.

An emotional lump formed in my throat. I padded my way to the deck and into the pale light of dawn in just my shorts. Fog was thin today. The sun’s golden glow reached up from the east. The air was cool and humid. Newport was only beginning to wake up to another day of construction. The town itself was beginning to take shape after a month, but shape it had, coming back better than before. And here I was, standing in sunlight and watching workers sleepily make their way to one site or another, while I was supposed to be in lockdown--used to supposed to be. Here I was, completely human, able to enjoy watching the sun rise any day of the month. After all these years...

I lay on my back on the bow, facing east, and watched the sun rise while I shed joyful tears. I didn’t care how unmanly anyone might think I was being. I was the happiest I’d been in so long. I was free. I could die happy. But it wasn’t time to go just yet.

*     *     *

After getting to know the family for a month, Jessie and Mido were about to head out for a small charter vessel that would bring them back to Newport. Vacation was over and soon it would be time to get back on shipping schedule. The two of them had discussed at length what Jessie wanted to do now that Dyne was no longer cursed. She had no home to go to. She had Mido’s home and family, though. They’d been absolutely wonderful to her. Treated her like a daughter by his parents, and like a sister by his two brothers and sister, all of them older than Mido. The whole family was warm and friendly, and as loud as the next Italian family. There’d been lots of great food, great stories both funny and heartfelt, and a few about the parents that made Mido cover his ears, telling them that those were stories he could’ve lived without ever hearing. Jessie laughed through it all, touched by his parents’ passionate youth and equally passionate older age.

Warm welcome aside, the Robustelli family lived too far inland for Jessie to want to consider settling with them. She’d grown up with the sea always visible from a window. Seeing just a freshwater pond and endless forest didn’t suit her. That and she didn’t like how cold it got at night. Fireplaces were cozy and all but watching waves breaking on shore was far more soothing.

For now she would stick with Mido and the
Pertinacious
and see what happened.

The two of them stood outside the large house with the entire immediate family present to see them off. Lots of hugs and kisses were exchanged, and some cheek pinching from Mido’s mother, whom everyone called “Ma.”

Ma said to Jessie, “If you ever change your mind and decide you want to stay here, you’re always welcome. Working on that boat is so dangerous. I’ll rest better knowing you’re safe with us, but only if you’d be happy here. Maine is a far cry from the Mediterranean.”

“Thank you, Ma. I really appreciate it. I’ll stay in touch.”

“You better, honey.” Ma gave her one more kiss. “And make sure Mido eats enough. Take good care of my baby boy. You’ve made him very happy.” She pinched Mido’s cheek.

“I will,” Jessie said. Mido winced, then rubbed his cheek.

Ma turned to Mido. “And you,” she said, taking his face in both hands, “Take good care of her like your father has taken good care of me.”

“I will, Ma.”

“God has given you an angel. Cherish His gift.”

“I already do, Ma.”

“Good boy.” She lowered his head and kissed him on the brow.

Jessie and Mido shouldered their duffle bags, then waved as they began their hour-long trek to shore. Technology was scarce in Maine. It had less than Newport before the tsunami hit. Once they could no longer see the house through the pine trees, Mido said, “I’m glad you don’t want to stay. I was secretly hoping you’d want to come back to the
Pertinacious.
”

“I could tell when we talked about it. You’re so bad at being objective when it comes to me.”

“I know. I just love you that much.”

She threaded an arm in his and hugged it close, and they exchanged a kiss. “All I know is that I want to be with you. Maybe I’ll be like the other wives and settle somewhere while you work, but not yet. I’ve got a lot of things to figure out. I’m even thinking of saving up to revive the orchard back in Paphos. Make it home again. But we’ll see.”

“You’re younger than me. You’ve got plenty of time to figure things out.”

“Maybe you’ll want to settle with me one year, if the Mediterranean suits you.”

“I still like the idea.”

Jessie smiled. “Let’s just take things slow.”

“You don’t mean no more sex, do you?”

“Not that kind of slow, you goof.” Mido winked at her. She gave his strong arm a loving squeeze. She knew he’d been joking. “I may not even want to live in Paphos again. I really wish I could’ve introduced you to my parents. The would’ve loved you.”

He kissed her temple. “Well, if we decide on Paphos, we can visit their graves often. It’d be bittersweet, but it’d be something.”

“It would.”

They stopped walking and started kissing, which slowly grew into a full make out with wandering hands. And right before the need to get Mido out of his clothes became irresistible, Jessie pulled back, gasping for breath as her heart pounded away. “Okay, my turn to stay no more of that, or else we’re gonna miss our boat to Newport.”

*     *     *

After four weeks, my entire crew started trickling back to Newport and onto the
Pertinacious
, eager to get back to making money and trotting the globe. As much as my crew loved visiting family, it was hard for them to sit still. Sailors needed to flow like tides and currents. I greeted each of them at the stern when they climbed aboard the repaired deck.

There were several blood stains on the bow, but I’d scrubbed at them when I wasn’t helping rebuild my home, or just lying around and purposely doing nothing. The stains were almost gone, the hull had been repaired by professional welders, and the only thing left that needed replacing was the harpoon gun. While on our way to San Juan, we were gonna stop by Port Chesapeake for a new one. I didn’t expect to make any money off this very belated delivery, so what was a few more days? I didn’t care. Wasn’t gonna apologize for it, unless they complained--well Sauna, my suave salesman, would do the apologizing, if the occasion called for it.

When Ed and Ted boarded, they both stopped and did a double-take. Ed said, “Captain, you’ve got some grey hair coming in!”

I ran a hand through my hair, surprised by the news.

“Just above your ears,” Ted said. “Welcome to getting older the natural way.”

“I’ll take it.” It was both a breath of relief and depressing. Yeah, I wanted to grow old and die but, I think, deep down, I wanted to skip the getting old part, since I technically was beyond ancient by human standards. However, I didn’t feel quite ready for the dying part. I felt like there was still some business I needed to attend to.

“Don’t worry,” Ed said, “you’re sporting the rugged sexy look. You’ll still get the ladies.”

“Anyway.” I tried to say it dryly but was too busy smiling. “Go unpack, you two.”

“Aw, don’t wanna hear about our family visit?” Ed said.

“After you unpack, certainly.” I’d happily listened to all the others who’d arrived so far recant their vacation. I enjoyed listening about what brought joy to my crew, getting joy out of their joy. The stories weren’t all peaches and cream, though, especially Sauna’s. He’d returned after only a couple of weeks. He came from a broken home that had been anything but pleasant. He tried to make his parents happy but, after bending over backwards for nothing, he gave up, came back to Newport, and helped me with my house and my ship.

The
Pertinacious
got a new paint job along the top half of her hull, tackled some repairs on the interior, and cleaned out the lockdown container, which would stay there, in case I ever decided to use it as more cargo storage space for deliveries.

Sauna was a kind, gentle, intelligent kid, despite all the crap he’d endured back home. No wonder he’d escaped to my ship at age sixteen. It wasn’t until he was helping me build my home that I realized he’d taken to me like a surrogate father. My heart reached out to the kid. I’d make sure Rammus did a good job of taking over as Captain and surrogate father, and help Sauna become a real man.

By the time everyone returned to complete my crew of twelve, counting me, I realized I had no clue when I’d retire. I thought maybe in a few months, then maybe in a few years. Maybe never. What the heck would I do with all my free time? At the very least I’d make sure everyone was taken care of before passing the torch. Still, I had a feeling retirement would come sooner than later. My time on this screwed-up yet lovable world was drawing to a close. I could feel it. Wasn’t sure how to explain it. It’s just that whenever I found myself alone and it was quiet, this sense of peace and serenity would wash over me, and all I’d want to do was just stand, sit or lie there, and enjoy the feeling.

We spent a few days in Port Chesapeake getting a new Harpy, which we christened with a shot of liquor, dubbed it the “Harpy II”, and ruined a few buoys for kicks. The thing fired great. Maybe I’d get a whale flounder with the Harpy II someday. Wasn’t gonna hold my breath, though. Chances were, if I ever saw one again, Jessie’d be there to beg me not to shoot it.

We arrived in San Juan another week later and actually made money. Sauna talked about our speed bump in Newport without telling the whole truth, and our business associate admired our kindness and bravery. I gave Sauna a bonus for that, and he got us another shipment to Revivre, which I’d been hoping for. My heart was set on having one of Milud’s burgers to celebrate my pure human status.

Life settled back to normal on the
Pertinacious
as we crossed the Atlantic. We had a minor run-in with young and stupid black market mercenaries right out of San Juan. Scully sank their ship with one beautiful shot with the Harpy II. We yawned while their taunts turned to pleas. Since land was still in sight, I decided to let the mercs swim to safety and we began our charter to Revivre in earnest. The rest of the two-week trip saw no worse than stretches of rough seas.

My crew trained and whatnot during the day, Jacobi started being kind to Jessie, and sea life still flocked to her if she spent time on deck. I tried calling water to me only once. Nothing happened. It was only a minor disappointment. Magical powers were neat and all, but overrated when they came at the expense of one’s humanity. I’d worked so long to be pure human again. I wasn’t about to ruin the enjoyment of finally obtaining that.

We threw the lines in Revivre one hot afternoon, got all our business done, then dispersed all over the city. Sam, Cancer, and O’Toole stayed back while the rest of us got in a couple days of rest and relaxation. I headed straight for Milud’s burger joint, had my pick of seats available, and chose my favorite spot on the end. Milud was pleasantly surprised to see me again so soon, compared to my annual visits. He noticed my grey hairs coming in, but was more interested in my scars.

“How the heck did you get all those?”

“Long story.” I took a sip from my tall, frosty mug of beer.

“Well start talking. Your dinner is gonna be a few minutes.”

“We ran into trouble again.” Like he’d believe the truth. I had no intention of sounding like some lunatic who liked to make up fantastical stories. Wasn’t gonna lie either.

“You didn’t happen to be in Newport, Rhode Island when it got attacked, did you? A few of those look like bite marks.” He pointed at my jawline.

I sat up straighter. “You heard about that?”