To Trust a Rogue (The Heart of a Duke Book 8) (30 page)

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nuckles bruised, sore, and swollen from the beating he’d dealt the Marquess of Atbrooke, Marcus carefully lifted his hand and rapped on the front door of the Duchess of Devonshire’s door. His other hand lay at his side, clasping two branches; meager offerings, but ones he’d no doubt she would prefer above all others. He clasped his hands at his back and waited.

That had always been the manner of woman Eleanor had been. She’d never craved pretty compliments and fancy baubles the way the Marianne Hamiltons of Society had. Rather, she’d been content with the simplistic beauty to be found in the world around them.

Marcus pounded again at the door. And waited. He frowned. And continued waiting. What in blazes? With a quiet curse, he lifted his hand and knocked once more, ignoring the pain that radiated from his bruised knuckles.

Just then, the butler pulled the door open, and for the hell that had been that entire day, a smile split his lips. “My lord,” he greeted, dropping his gaze to the ground. He motioned Marcus inside.

Marcus did a sweep of the foyer, seeking out the mischievous little girl so often hiding from her nursemaid. Disappointment filled him at finding Marcia absent. “I am here to see Mrs. Collins,” he said while reaching for the fastening of his cloak.

His fingers froze involuntarily at the red color that filled the servant’s cheeks. A niggling of unease pitted in Marcus’ belly as this moment, merged with a long ago day.

“That will be all, Thomas.”

Marcus whipped his gaze up and found the duchess at the top of the stairs. With the aid of her cane, she started slowly down. Her dogs raced ahead and danced excitedly about Marcus’ feet. “Your Grace,” he offered belatedly, dropping a bow.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and waved off the pleasantries. “You are too late, my boy. She is gone.”

The ground shifted under his feet and his stomach lurched. “Gone?” The inquiry ripped from him.

Too late.

“Left but an hour ago.” The duchess reached into the pocket sewn along the front of her silver satin dress and extracted a note. “She asked I give you this.”

Another note.

He stared dazed at that folded sheet; the unerring similarities sucking all logical thought and filling him with a cold emptiness. The branches slipped from his fingers and sailed to the floor. Wordlessly, Marcus took the page. He unfolded it, knowing even as he did what would meet his eyes.

Years ago, upon discovering Eleanor’s betrayal, those words hastily written on a page, Marcus had believed that more words from the lady would have wounded less. Staring at them now, with her delicate, slashing strokes filling the page, he now realized—nothing would have ever dulled that pain. In her leaving, the same vicious agony of loss slashed through him.

Marcus crushed the page in his hands. This time, she’d given him a goodbye, but he’d foolishly convinced himself he had more than a handful of hours. Once again, she’d left.

But by God, she didn’t get to leave this time without him having a say in their future.

The Duchess of Devonshire’s black barouche hit another hole in the old Roman Road and tossed Eleanor against the side of the carriage. The book given her by Aunt Dorothea tumbled to the carriage floor and lay forgotten. Eleanor steadied herself and then flung her arm around Marcia’s shoulders. They’d been traveling for more than an hour now and, with each mile passed, put London further and further away. The agony of again leaving him did not go away.

Instead, she sat huddled in the corner of her aunt’s barouche hating herself now, just as much as she’d hated herself eight years ago. She hated herself for running, again. She hated that she’d allowed herself to be a victim of the Marquess of Atbrooke’s scheming machinations. If it was only herself who’d be affected by Atbrooke’s threats, then she’d gladly face the devil at dawn. She’d been shamed in the most horrific ways a woman could be denigrated. And yet, there was, this time, others to consider; beyond even just Marcus. Now there was Marcia.

“I do not understand why we had to leave so quickly,” Marcia groused, favoring Eleanor with an accusatory glare.

No, she would not. Not for many long years would she gather the details that had sent them fleeing. And in the absence of any suitable words that would mollify her daughter, she asked, “Don’t you miss Cornwall?”

Marcia wiggled out from under her arm and scooted to the opposite bench. “No, I did not miss Cornwall.” Her saucer-wide eyes glimmered with anger. The show of anything other than Marcia’s usual cheer and joy gutted her. “I loved London and I loved Aunt Dorothea and I loved M-Marcus.”

Another piece of her heart broke off. “Oh, love,” she soothed, reaching across the carriage, but her daughter slapped her hand away.

“Weren’t you happy?” Marcia cried and the tears that welled in her expressive eyes cleaved Eleanor’s heart.

“Of course I was happy,” she said softly. And she had been. But it had never been about London or the bustling activity of the city or the grand opulence of her aunt’s lavish townhouse. It had always been about him. Her throat worked painfully. She’d been happy in ways she’d believed herself incapable. Marcus had once said, after Lionel’s murder she had taught him to smile and laugh again. Yet the truth was, he had taught her to smile. He’d reminded her of her own self-worth and, through that, she’d laid some of the demons of her past to rest. “We have to go home, Marcia. It is time.”

“Why?” Marcia cried and that desperate entreaty bounced off the carriage walls.

Eleanor claimed her daughter’s hands and gripped them tighter when she fought to tug them back. “I love Aunt Dorothea and I love Marcus,” she said, giving Marcia the truth that she deserved.

The anger went out of her little frame. “You do?” she whispered reverently, but then an angry scowl marred her features. “If you love him, then why did we leave? Why can he not be my papa?” Her lower lip quivered. “Did he not want to be my papa?”

Oh, God. Her heart breaking all over again, Eleanor plucked her daughter from the bench and pulled the girl onto her lap. She brushed a flyaway blonde curl behind her ear and struggled to speak past the pain of regret. “Marcus would have liked that very much, poppet.” Eleanor hugged her close, selfishly taking the warmth in her daughter’s small frame. “And someday, when you are older, I will explain it all in a way that makes sense.” Even as it would never be solace or comfort.

Marcia wiggled away and took Eleanor’s face between her hands. “Will we return?”

How insistent Marcus had been in thinking they would again meet, but just as Eleanor hadn’t deluded herself then, neither would she hold a foolish optimism now. It was as her aunt said; Marcus would wed another and they would each live their lives with a regret for what might have been.

“Mama?” her daughter prodded, tugging at her hand.

“Someday.” Never. How many fabricated truths was her daughter’s existence based on?

Marcia leaned close and peered into Eleanor’s eyes, as though sensing a lie and seeking the truth. The carriage hit another jarring bump in the road and Eleanor tightened her grip on Marcia, hugging her close. “Mama,” her daughter grumbled against her chest. “You are squishing me.”

Tears welled in Eleanor’s eyes at the eerie similarity to her arrival in London almost three weeks ago. “Well,” she said, her voice hoarsened with emotion. “It is because you are ever so squishable.”

Only this time, there was no giggle. Her daughter jutted her chin at a mutinous angle and glowered all the more. “All we do is hide. We have no friends. We have no f-family. You just keep us locked away from the world. And I like the world, Mama,” her daughter spoke with a strident plea. “But you are afraid. Afraid of everything.” With each word uttered, she slammed her hand against her opposite palm. “Going to the park, and talking to kind strangers, and having fun, and I hate it.” Then, in a show of defiance, she shoved off Eleanor’s lap and scooted over to her seat. “I am tired of hiding from the world.” Turning her face away, Marcia directed her gaze out at the passing countryside.

Those stinging condemnations buffeted around the carriage and sucked the air from Eleanor’s lungs. With her intuitive words, Marcia saw more than Eleanor had in eight long years—perhaps in the whole of her life. She gripped the edge of the bench.

Forced to look at her pitiable existence through a child’s eyes, Eleanor saw a woman who was running. She stared blankly at the opposite wall. She’d been running for so long that she’d forgotten what it meant to stay or how to find the courage to even do so. With Atbrooke’s threat against Marcia, Eleanor had thought of nothing but escape.

Except, with her mind still ringing from her daughter’s accusations and her aunt’s disappointed charges, Eleanor truly looked at herself. The person she was and the manner she lived her life served as an example for Marcia.

What meaningful lesson had she really given her daughter in hiding from the world? And worse, what lesson would she teach Marcia if she ran from Atbrooke’s threats?

I cannot leave.

The marquess might make good on his threats or he might not. But Eleanor was not alone. There was Marcus, and her aunt, and Marcia. With them at her side, Eleanor could face the threats and hold her head with pride.
That
was the lesson she would give her daughter.

Scrambling onto the edge of her seat, Eleanor shot a hand up and knocked hard on the ceiling.

“Ma—?”

“Woah.” The driver’s thunderous shout ripped through Marcia’s inquiry and Eleanor pitched wildly against the carriage. Her daughter’s cry peeled off the walls as the barouche lurched, swayed, and then settled into an abrupt halt.

The forgotten book on the floor slid atop Eleanor’s feet. Silence thundered, punctuated by the rapid beat of her heart.

Marcia broke the quiet, giving a tug at Eleanor’s hand. “What happened?”

Shifting on the bench, Eleanor claimed her daughter’s hands. “We are not leaving,” she said firmly.

The girl’s eyes formed round moons. “We aren’t?” she whispered.

Eleanor shook her head. “We are going back to London.” To Marcus and Aunt Dorothea. And whatever danger lurked in London, still, they would face it as a family.

An excited cry split Marcia’s lips and Eleanor grunted as her daughter slammed into her side. The book tumbled off her foot and she glanced distractedly down. A scrap of ivory vellum caught her attention. Furrowing her brow, Eleanor retrieved it and unfolded the note. As she skimmed the page, her heart caught.

Oh, God.

“Mama, what is it?” Concern made that question come out hesitantly.

Eleanor managed to shake her head.

“Mama?”

“It is—”

And then thundering hooves registered in the silence. The rumble of the driver’s voice split the quiet countryside and penetrated the lacquered carriage.

“Is it highwaymen?” Marcia whispered, as she scrambled over to the window.

“I’m sure it is not, sweet.” Fingers shaking, she drew back the curtain and peered out the window—at Marcus. She gasped and the fabric slipped from her fingers. There was nothing else for it. She was seeing him everywhere. Even in the countryside, away from London.

“Who is out there, Mama?” Anxiety wreathed Marcia’s face as she curled close against Eleanor’s side.

“No one, sweet,” she murmured and peeked around the curtain once more. Her heart started. His face shadowed with a day’s growth of beard, his clothes rumpled and dusted, and his golden tresses gloriously tumbled, there was not a more magnificent specimen of a man in all the kingdom. She gulped. Even if he
did
wear a ferocious scowl.

Turning the reins of his mount over to the duchess’ servant, Marcus strode the remaining distance to the carriage. “I have been looking for you, Eleanor,” he called out. Those words echoed through the quiet countryside.

Marcia gasped and scrambled over Eleanor’s lap. She yanked the curtains all the way open. “Marcus!” Excitement rang in her tone.

Such unabashed love and happiness lit her daughter’s eyes, that tears blinded Eleanor’s vision, blurring Marcus as he strode the remaining distance to their stopped carriage. Reaching past the driver, Marcus boldly drew the carriage door open. His muscle-hewn frame shrank the space in the carriage as he leaned inside and looked about. His gaze locked with Eleanor’s and the breath stuck in her chest at the heated intensity of his stare. She desperately tried to make out the veiled emotions there. Did he despise her now as much as he had then for leaving? Even as he knew the reasons for her flight? Then he reluctantly moved his attention over to Marcia.