To Wear His Ring (23 page)

Ethan craned his neck to look at the curve of Lucy’s cheek, the shadows her lashes made on her pale skin.

Be patient, stick to the plan and in a couple of short years—less—he could relax, kick back, contemplate the future. Maybe with Lucy in it—if she still wanted him.

Contemplate Lucy.

Her knees scraped down his body slowly and now there was no impediment between them. She nestled in closer with a contented sigh. His heart swelled again, perplexing him. So much more intimacy than ever before.

Contemplate love. Loving Lucy.

Ethan squeezed his eyes shut, then snapped them open again.

Lucy donned raincoat and gum boots and walked down to clean out the stables. Their stablehand had been cut off by the flood yesterday and she couldn’t return the horses to the stable until the stalls had been cleared.

She found the smell of sodden slimy straw and mud quite suited her mood. Rank and festering.

Lucy was tired of people she cared about being indifferent toward her. She must deserve it, because that was all she had ever inspired in people—at least the people she wanted love from. Basically, she wasn’t lovable. Had never been, starting from the day her mother had left.

Sweep, sweep. She was working up a sweat here.

There was something about her that meant she would never be number one. She would always be part-time, long-distance, ditzy, nice little Lucy.

Her pique was unreasonable. She could no more expect him to give up his job, his life than he could expect her to walk away from her birthright. She leaned on her broom, panting with exertion and frustration.
If
that is what he had been referring to.

Although if Tom had his way, her birthright would be chopped up and flushed away. And what would she be left with then?

What she’d always had. Nothing. Nobody. And nowhere to run. She bent her back to her work and was vigorous about it.

What were the options? The most logical and probable: stay here and battle Tom’s obstinacy, possibly his enemies and definitely his demons, while trying somehow to turn Summerhill from a debt-ridden, badly-run lodge and neglected farm, into—what? Did she even have any idea?

Or she could jump on the nearest plane and fly off to—Paris? Prague?—though the language would be a problem and languages were
so
not her forte. Didn’t matter where. It had always worked for her in the past. Until her father had gotten sick and the vein of money had become plugged.

But—she pulled her hat off, overheating. Maybe
Ethan loved her, or could grow to love her. He gave her something. Hope. With him, anything seemed possible. She felt smart, not dumb. She had good ideas. And perhaps now a little belief in herself.

Her mind darted about like a blind moth.

What would he do if she told him, right now, she loved him? Would he run just as everyone she had ever cared for had? Could she ever be happy with only a part of him?

A familiar figure slopped across the yard outside the stables. The stablehand had arrived. She watched him approach but was so deep in thought, she didn’t really register she was no longer alone.

He stopped and they looked at each other, then he reached out for the broom. “Jeez,” he said, wheezing a little. “We’ve been in drought for three years and now this. It’s all or nothing, eh?”

He tugged the broom from her grasp and began sweeping. Lucy looked after him, his words seeping through the fetid smell of the stable.

All or nothing. Why did it have to be? She could eat two pieces of the pie, couldn’t she? Instead of the whole thing or none at all.

She started for the house before she lost her nerve. Maybe the fermenting straw had addled her brain, but she was going to walk into the house and tell him she was in love with him. She was going to face the issue instead of running. This was life. There was no fairy-tale family life, no loving, indulgent parents. Just Lucy and her equal love for Summerhill land and for Ethan Rae.

Ethan took the stairs two at a time, fuelled by anger, shame—and relief. In his room, he tossed his bag onto the bed and began to fill it. Relief? Because there was no choice to be made now. Everything was back to normal.

Acid rose in his throat like the burn of Tom’s words.

Ethan and Magnus had been in the conference facility for half an hour before Tom burst in. Magnus’s overriding concern was safety—his wife had let slip about the afternoon weather report Tom had chosen to ignore.

“Can’t control the weather,” Tom had snapped, shooting a venomous look at Ethan. He obviously thought Lucy had blabbed.

Poor sap. His back was against the wall. Unwittingly, Magnus built the fire, stoked it, till Tom felt he had no option but to blame Lucy for everything.

“Lady Luck turns her back sometimes, Magnus,” Tom had wheedled. “It’s cyclical. You’re a businessman. You know that.”

“Not good enough, son. A big part of your business is safety.” Magnus paused, and hammered home the second nail in Lucy’s coffin. “If Lucy hadn’t remembered that hut, we’d still be out there now.”

Now Ethan yanked savagely on the zip of the suit compartment of his bag and heard the door open. He threw Lucy an icy look when she entered his room but forced himself to continue with his mental checklist. Shirt, underwear, toiletries—he was nearly done. His movements were quick and efficient but tension wired his jaw and stretched his spine into a hostile rod.

From the corner of his eye, he saw her hover in the doorway, her black jeans stained and tucked into long woolly socks that dropped bits of plant matter onto the floor. She looked flushed and rumpled.

“What are you doing?” she asked quietly, twisting her hands together in front of her.

His hands crushed the clothing down, then he hauled on the zip. Lucy flinched at the scraping thud of the bag
hitting the floor. He continued to pretend to ignore her, moving to the table to organize his laptop and briefcase.

“You really had me going,” he muttered after an age.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Should have chosen your accomplice with more care.” Bitterness scoured his throat. Tom’s sneering face flashed past his eyes. “Your brother loused it up for you.”

Without looking at her, Ethan sensed her cringe with foreboding. Not his problem. Laptop snapped shut, papers stacked, briefcase closed. “If he’d just been patient…but Tom couldn’t leave it alone. He burst in, ranting and raving about how he knew we were cutting him loose. How, because of
our
pillow talk, Magnus knew about the court case, the gambling, the debt, the shady associates.” He smiled grimly at his watch, slapped his pockets. “Funny thing was, I hadn’t told Magnus any of that.”

Before Tom’s intrusion, Ethan had secured a stay in the decision about Summerhill’s place on the Global List. He’d also mentioned that Lucy had some good ideas that deserved to be given a chance. In an effort to calm Tom, Magnus suggested he take a leaf out of his sister’s book.

A red rag to a bull…

The elderly, respected businessman was unprepared for Tom’s insults, the final one: that his precious club was a highfalutin bag of hot air that Summerhill could manage without. Magnus had stormed out, calling loudly to his wife to get her things.

Ethan laid the briefcase and laptop on top of his bag and scooped up his jacket. Lucy stood silent. Not wanting to, knowing he shouldn’t, he raked his eyes over her face. Not just milky-pale now, a much more deathly
hue. Her eyes were anguished; those perfect lips parted slightly.

Ethan blinked and looked away, pushing his arms into the sleeves of his jacket. Maybe he wasn’t quite as cold, as pitiless as his sense of justice demanded. Seeing her lips tremble would only haunt him later.

“And then he told me about your carefully orchestrated plan. How you agreed to do
anything
for Summerhill, even prostitute yourself to snag a rich husband.”

“What?” Her voice was faint. “No.”

He turned his back and walked to the window. The lush green of freshly saturated pasture was soothing, but he’d need a whole universe of it to forget Tom’s fleshy lips spitting out the truth. According to him, his sister might not have much in the brain department, but she was as skilled as her worthless mother when it came to playing men—and Ethan had been played like a flute.

Did you think you were the first?
Tom had taunted.
You were just rich and single and about thirty years younger than her usual smorgasbord. Ask her why she came home.

“You told him you would seduce me,” Ethan muttered, “get me—and therefore Magnus—on side. I was your ticket to saving your land.”

“No.”

Ethan turned to her, glowering. “Can you deny it?”

Her lips moved soundlessly. Something awful—a realization—limped across her face. Then guilt. Somehow, without moving a muscle she seemed to shrink. His heart lurched even lower, his jaw clamped even tighter.

“It was a joke,” she whispered. “The first night we met. I was fooling around.”

“Very funny.” He walked to his luggage, took the briefcase and laptop in one hand and shouldered the big bag.

Damn those trembling lips. He had to get out of here. There was a deal to clinch. He should have known better than to mess with emotions while there was work to do.

An image of his father, smiling benevolently at a twenty-something busty blonde danced in his mind. That one had lasted two or three years but the result was the same. When it ended, she still took his father to the cleaners.

Ask her why she came home…

She was frozen to the spot.

He glared down at her. “Why
did
you come home, Lucy?”

Her shoulders jerked. If she was surprised about anything, it was the way he sounded. She had come to love his voice. Deep and smooth as caramel.

She wanted to cover her ears. He was so harsh, so bitingly cold. This was the man she was about to confess her love for?

“The stroke.” Her voice wavered. She made an effort. “Dad’s stroke.” Firmer.

He stared at her face for a long moment. “Wasn’t it because Tom stopped the party fund?”

Lucy exhaled noisily, opened her mouth, but he cut her off. Disdain twisted his mouth and he clucked his tongue. “Such low expectations, Lucy. I’m wealthy but hardly in the league of some of the men you entice here. And you’d have to wait a while to inherit.”

She just shook her head miserably. She knew she should defend herself. But her words would bounce off that rigid form, the pitiless glitter in his eyes. What had she ever done or said that made a difference to anyone before?

“I had wondered if you were a common gold digger from the first. In your position, it wouldn’t be surprising and you were quite open with your charming little quips about wanting a rich husband.”

She shook her head miserably. “Ethan, if you can believe that…” Her voice sounded about a hundred years old to her ears.

“I thought you were different. Thought I was a good judge of character—something I will have to reevaluate.”

His hands gripped his luggage tightly. He straightened. “Your big miscalculation was, I despise women like you. You must have seen that from the get-go.”

Lucy exhaled, a long ragged breath. “Walk away then.” Her shoulders jerked in another pitiful excuse for a shrug. “It’s easiest.”

He jerked his chin toward the table. “My check for the accommodation.”

Lucy’s eyes followed the movement and stayed there. She heard but didn’t watch, knew well enough the sight of a door close in her face. She stared blindly at the table, amazed that there was no pain. Just a constriction in her chest, like the old, familiar iron lung had taken up residency. Without making a conscious decision, her legs took her over to the table. The check lay there, flat, unfeeling.

That was something else she knew well. A check, if not to make you feel better, then to keep you quiet until the next time something rose up and lodged in your throat so you made a fuss about it. Till someone noticed and looked at you, sighed a long-suffering sigh and wrote out another check.

Outside, the van moved off down the driveway, crunching on the gravel. She hadn’t even said goodbye to Juliette.

E
than walked out of the elevator on the ninth floor to the sharp sound of applause. Dog-tired, bemused, he was surrounded by smiling colleagues shaking his hand, slapping his back. The small throng dispersed when Clark approached with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon. “We got the fax half an hour ago. You did it!”

Clark led him to the anteroom of Magnus’s office, still pumping his hand heartily. Even the very proper Beryce, Magnus’s PA for twenty years, was rising, smiling, ushering them through the door into the office.

Where was the relief, he wondered as he was enveloped in a bear hug? The triumph? The satisfaction that accompanied revenge?

His boss sloshed overgenerous slugs of cognac into glasses, serving the three of them, lighting their cigars. The excited flow of words between the other two men never faltered. They toasted each other and sat.

“Holy cow, boy! It’s the deal of the century, even though it cost me both arms and both legs.”

Ethan listened, drank, smoked and chastised himself for his lack of enthusiasm.

“When can you get started?”

He swallowed the burning liquid and squinted through a heavy haze of smoke. “You like the islands, Clark?” he asked finally. “Pack enough for a couple of years.”

He drained his glass and watched the delight fade on his mentor’s face.

Hours later, fuzzy-headed from unaccustomed afternoon drinking, he walked into his harbor-side apartment, tossed his jacket over a chair and called his father in Perth. “How you doing?”

“What?”

Ethan was ashamed at the astonishment in Jackson Rae’s voice. His usual inquiries were about work, or the latest squeeze. They exchanged stilted pleasantries then Ethan took a deep breath. “You’re out of the picture for Turtle Island.”

There was a long pause. “How did you know I bid?”

“Didn’t. I guessed you would.”

“Should have known you wouldn’t call just to say gidday.”

Ethan knew he deserved that. In the silence that followed, he racked his brain to come up with something to soften the blow. He had a lot to learn about building bridges. But you had to start somewhere. “I’m—sorry.”

“Must have been a hell of a deal,” his father growled.

“It was. I’ve resigned,” he added.

There was another lengthy pause. “You and that old reprobate fallen out?”

“Parted on excellent terms.” A throb in his temple reminded him of the depleted level of liquid left in the brandy bottle. They had parted close. Maudlin close.

“What will you do? There is a place for you here.”

Ethan smiled at the lightning-quick offer. “Thanks but no, Dad.” He heard his father’s breath catch. He probably hadn’t called him Dad since he’d been a young boy. At school, he was “sir.” On his rare home visits, he used “Father,” and on his few-and-far-between phone calls he usually just announced, “It’s Ethan,” to preclude having to use a title. “I’m going to farm.”

“Farm? But don’t you remember…? You can’t rewrite history, son.”

Ethan smiled into the phone. “I’m going to try.”

The smooth hum of the Nissan wasn’t a bit like the Alfa’s deeper, frothy growl. She supposed she would miss her status symbol but she’d only had it a few months. Tom had grumbled, but Lucy insisted it would add class to the operation. She wasn’t aware back then of how much financial trouble they were in.

A sign flashed by indicating the turn-off for the inland route to the mountains. Why was she not driving to the airport? The smart black briefcase on the passenger seat positively groaned with ready money. Enough to live on for a good while, she considered.

Lucy checked the rearview mirror and indicated a lane change. She noticed the same line by her mouth she had seen that morning, making up. The iron band around her torso seemed to tighten.

Damn him. Wrinkles. A pain around the heart. A ruby-red suit.
I’d love to see you in red.

But up ahead the morning sun glistened off a jagged jawline of fresh-coated mountains. She forced the sadness
away. If she gave in to it, she had better be prepared to spend the rest of her life running. And if thinking of a way to save her land kept her from giving in to the heartbreak that would shatter her, that was as good an excuse as any in a life full of excuses.

By the time she parked outside the lodge and marched up to the door of Tom’s office, she was resolute. Not nice, malleable little Lucy now. She knew she was strong. Ethan had given her that, if nothing else.

For the last two weeks, Tom had been subdued and surprisingly receptive to her suggestions. He felt guilty about the debts and his part in Ethan’s departure, for which he had confessed all and apologized repeatedly. She understood better why Ethan had run.

That didn’t make it any easier to bear.

Tom had better appreciate her efforts today. She’d raised enough to cover their creditors and Tom’s personal gambling debt—assuming he had disclosed everything. But they would have to generate a lot more income to cover the payments for the part-mortgage he had taken out against the property.

Resolute maybe, but she still crossed the fingers of her free hand.

Her heels clicked across the wooden floor, quick and sharp. And stopped dead.

Ethan Rae sat across from Tom, the big kauri-wood desk between them. Her heart seemed to squeeze and crumple. A kaleidoscope of frantic thoughts whirled through her brain.

Her eyes drank him in. God, he looked good. Lucy had tried to forget his features, his commanding presence. Powerful. Alert and primed for success. Without doubts.

She would not be moved by the warm approval that
leapt into his eyes as they roved over her body. The suit wasn’t for him.

She deliberately turned her head without acknowledging him. “I thought we had an appointment.”

“Ethan surprised me. Want some coffee?”

Lucy walked toward them on legs that felt like glass. A fierce compulsion to run far and fast tangled up the words in her throat. Before her nerve fled, she placed the briefcase on the corner of the desk and drew out a sheaf of papers.

“There is enough there to clear all our debt, except for the mortgage.”

Tom took the papers she offered. “You sold the apartment?” His voice was incredulous. He held up the valuation on the apartment.

“The auction’s next week.” She didn’t divulge the estate agent’s warning that an urgent auction rarely reached the reserve. “I sold the car and the painting.”

Had Ethan jerked in surprise then? She recalled his interest in the valuable gift from her father. So what? She forced her attention back to her brother.

She had never seen Tom really surprised. His fleshy mouth opened and closed spasmodically.

“God, Luce, this is—stunning.”

“There’s more.” She indicated the large white envelope under the checks. Tom drew out the information on Gamblers Anonymous, flushing deeply. The appointment card was stapled to the front. Ten o’clock next Thursday morning. She would be accompanying him. “And I went to see the police. They’re looking into Joseph Dunn. They know him well.”

Her hands were empty now. She raised her chin and walked to the window. Minutes ticked by and she knew, by the tightening of her pores, that Ethan’s eyes bored
into her back. This was her biggest test. Get the business out of the way and escape.

But why was he here? More accusations? Maybe an apology…but that was silly. Why, then, would he be meeting with Tom?

She did not turn around until she heard Tom’s exhalation. Wound as tight as a spring, she knew to look at Ethan would unravel her. Lucy acknowledged she would have to go through the pain of losing him one day, but not here, not now and certainly not with him present.

Her brother’s eyes shone as he looked up at her. “I don’t know what to say. This is amazing.” Tom shifted in his chair and Lucy didn’t miss the quick conspiratorial look that passed between the two men.

She walked back over to his desk and sat. “We’d be debt-free, Tom, except for the mortgage. So you see, we don’t need the club.” Of their own accord, her eyes flicked disdainfully to the man at her left. “And we don’t need to sell the land.”

Tom fidgeted with his pen and shuffled papers. “Ah. Well, that’s why Ethan is here. He’s come up with a very interesting business proposition.”

A shard of ice slipped through the band of steel around her chest. A business proposition? Was he trying to buy their land? He knew their backs were against the wall. He also knew that if he threw money at Tom…

“It’s a lease, Lucy,” Tom went on. “If Ethan were to lease the arable land from us, it would mean he pays us a lump sum up front and a yearly rent for whatever term we decide on.”

“But—we don’t need to sell…”

“Not sell. Lease. He’d be like a tenant.”

The shard of ice hurtled around in a flyaway panic
that even the tight band around her chest could not contain. It would be impossible to conduct a business relationship with Ethan Rae. Not when she felt the way she did about him. Not when he’d made it brutally clear what his opinion of her was.

She glanced at him briefly, fearfully. “I don’t understand.”

“Ethan wants to farm. He would set up the farm at his own expense.”

Lucy felt stupid and covered it up with a scowl. “No. It’s McKinlay land.”

Ethan cleared his throat, startling her. “Tom, would you mind?”

Panic gripped her. Don’t leave me alone with him, she implored Tom with her eyes. But he was rising, nodding, closing the door behind him.

Silence engulfed the room like a cloud. Lucy tried to hold all that she was feeling in her hands, clasped in a death grip in her lap.

Ethan lounged three feet away, long legs stretched out in front of him. Finally, he spoke. “A lease means that the land is still yours and Tom’s, Lucy. You are the legal owners. I would just be borrowing it for whatever period you decide. Two years, ten, twenty…”

She inhaled—as much as possible with her ribs in an iron corset. Since talking was beyond her, she might as well listen.

“The initial lump sum could get rid of your debt.”

She flicked a hand at the papers on the desk and felt his eyes on her.

“You are incredible.” His voice had altered, from businesslike to soft. “Your family doesn’t deserve you.”

A hard little knot of hurt made her want to cut. “What
would you know of family? You won’t even forgive your father.”

The guilt she felt at that remark irked her even more. He’d hurt her, dammit. She was sick of sheathing her claws. Turning in her seat, she faced him. “In fact, you’re not a very forgiving man, are you Ethan? I don’t think I’d like you as a business partner or tenant or whatever it is you’re talking about.”

He had been looking at the desk in front of him, but now he faced her. He was hunched back in his seat with his hands in his pockets. After a lengthy pause, he spoke. “Unlike your father, you now have a mortgage to furnish. This way, you will get an income from the land.”

Lucy sighed. Confusion—and curiosity—retracted her claws. “So what do you get out of it?”

“The profits from what I produce. I pay for everything—stock, feed, fertilizer. And I keep the profits.”

“What about the lodge?”

“Not affected in any way. The lease would only cover the productive farming land. You and Tom would continue to run the lodge as you are now.”

She was not looking at him but heard the smile in his voice. “Well, maybe not quite as you are now, I hope.”

Lucy didn’t smile in return.

“You could implement some of your very good ideas for the lodge. Once the financial pressure is off, Lucy, anything is possible.”

“Who would look after the farm?” Her voice was faint. It was inconceivable to her that she would be sharing this part of the world with this man. She really would have to run.

“Me.”

Panic sharpened her tone. “From Sydney? Or Turtle…Tortoise Island or whatever it is?”

He shook his head.

She was tired of guessing. “You’re a businessman, not a farmer,” she informed him impatiently.

“Told you I wanted to farm one day.”

“One day!” She jumped to her feet. “What about your job? Your big important deal?” She only allowed him a heartbeat or two before continuing. “Thanks for the offer, but don’t worry about us. We’ll manage.”

“I resigned,” he told her quietly, looking up at her.

Her heart gave a jolt. Flooded her with something—hope? It slopped against the iron band around her chest.

She pushed it down.

His eyes caressed her face. His expression rocked her—all regret and apology. Another wave of confusion swept her. How different he looked and sounded from the icy stranger of a week ago. How could he hate her, hurt her like that and yet expect to work alongside her? Was it to humiliate her? Her eyes and throat ached with unshed tears. Please go and let me cry in peace, she begged silently, looking down at her shoes.

“Lucy, I’m sorry.”

She pursed her lips to quell that damn hope that seemed to swell inside again. His voice was dangerous, reminded her of what they’d shared—and lost.

“Truly sorry.” He rose, took two steps until he stood in front of her. His aftershave, tangy and fresh, wafted to her and she breathed it in on a slow careful inhalation.

“I should never have believed Tom and gone off half-cocked.”

Her fingers curled into fists by her sides.

“You weren’t in the plan, and you know me. I never deviate from the plan.” He paused again, but she still couldn’t trust herself to speak.

Undaunted by her silence, he continued. “That last day, making love to you, I was
this
close to saying to hell with the job.
This
close to saying I’m not leaving you while everything is crashing around your ears. That scared the daylights out of me.”

Lucy heard the snap of his fingers and then her heart beating. Strong, steady, resonant.

“When Tom said what he did, it was a lifeline. I grabbed it and ran.”

She could not bring herself to look at him yet, but she had to know. “Wh-what changed your mind?”

He paused. “I was doing the same thing I’d done all my working life. Trying to prove I was better at it than Dad. And this deal—Turtle Island—it was the biggie. The one that would really kick him in the guts because of his history with it.”