To Whisper Her Name (14 page)

He closed the front door behind him and scanned the yard. No sign of Mrs. Aberdeen. She hadn’t had time to get too far,
if
she’d even come this way. He felt for her, knowing what he did about her situation. Widowed, with a late husband who’d been murdered and hung for treason, and now apparently bearing the shame of his actions.

He searched to the right of the house, wanting to see if she was all right. To see how she was getting settled in after such a rocky arrival. At least that’s what he told himself. But in light of what had just happened upstairs, there was something else he wanted her to know.

Whatever her position was at Belle Meade, it was clear she and Elizabeth Harding had a very close relationship. Equally clear was that she and General Harding did not. He’d felt an almost palpable tension between them today.

He took the steps down to the yard and started toward the stable when he spotted her. Off to the left. Walking hurriedly in the direction of the old cabin.
Perfect
.

R
idley caught up with her easily and — judging by the rigid set of her jaw — she was still upset. He couldn’t blame her. “Mind if I join you, Mrs. Aberdeen?”

Her glance was fleeting. “Not at all, Mr. Cooper.” Her smile, too bright and brief to be genuine, was still pretty.

Everything about her said she preferred to be alone — the stiffness in her shoulders and evenness of her stride, as though she were counting the steps until he took his leave.

“I won’t take but a minute of your time, ma’am. I only wanted to see how you’re getting along. How your first few days here have been.”

“I’m getting along very well, Mr. Cooper. Thank you for inquiring.” Her voice might have sounded convincing to anyone who hadn’t just witnessed the scene in the bedroom.

“Well …” He nodded. “That’s good to hear.”

They walked on in silence, passing the cabin, and he sneaked another look at her, silently adding
pleasantly evasive
to the mental list already containing the words
prim
and
proper
. Did she have any idea how easy she was to read? And that her politeness — while well intentioned, he felt certain — didn’t fool him in the least?

The slope of the ground curved and formed a path along the side of the creek, and they followed it. How many times in recent months had he bedded down by a creek similar to this while making his way from the coast to Nashville? The sluicing of water over smooth rock produced a tranquil tune, providing an excellent companion to the long nights of silence.

But the silence coming from the woman beside him all but drowned it out.

Deciding to honor her obvious desire to be alone, Ridley came directly to the point. “About what was said, Mrs. Aberdeen. Back there with the general. Just to make sure everything’s clear between us, I—”

“Yes, Mr. Cooper.” She stopped and turned, her eyes flashing. “I’m aware you were hired by the general, so …” She stood a little straighter. “Congratulations to you, sir.”

He eyed her, a tad confused. “I beg your pardon?”

She looked at him as though he were a simpleton. “I saw the way you looked at me back there, when the general referred to you as a
welcome addition
.” A tinge of bitterness punctuated the words, helped along by the hurt in her eyes. “You gained employment here at Belle Meade, even after I expressly told you that General Harding wasn’t hiring. That being the case …” She briefly looked away, firming that delicate jaw of hers again. “I was wrong. And you were right.” She looked back, a polite — if false — smile curving her mouth. “There, I said it. Have I rendered the satisfaction you require, Mr. Cooper?”

Ridley stared, partly fascinated by how she’d managed to get all of that from a simple look but mostly wanting to shake the woman for getting it so wrong. If she only knew what he’d truly been thinking in that moment.

Not that he wanted to share it with her.

“So it’s your understanding, Mrs. Aberdeen, that I’ve tracked you down to demand an apology?”

“Well, you
were
able to obtain a job, were you not?”

Something inside told him not to answer, but he didn’t listen. “I was.”

“And did I not assure you within minutes of our first meeting that your chances of that happening were slim?”

“Those weren’t your exact words, as I recall them, ma’am. But that was the gist of it.”

“So?” She looked up at him, defiant, as if she’d just proven something worthy of condemnation on his part.

He couldn’t help but smile. “If the day ever comes, Mrs. Aberdeen, don’t ever try to defend yourself in court, ma’am. It won’t go well for you.”

Her mouth slipped open. “I just offered you an apology, Mr. Cooper.”

“One I didn’t ask for, Mrs. Aberdeen. Nor one I require.”

She let out a breath and turned toward the creek.

Anger rolled off her in waves, and he felt a fair amount of frustration himself. She crossed her arms, wrapping them around herself, and he noticed her left hand absent of a wedding band. Rings were expensive, he knew, and not every married woman had one. Even fewer married men. He would’ve bet good money, though, that she’d been given one.

Recalling what he knew about her late husband from Uncle Bob and the others, he wondered if she’d chosen to take it off, wanting to forego the unpleasant reminder.

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, wishing he could take back the comment about her defending herself in court. That had been a careless thing to say. But how in God’s green earth did the woman conclude he wanted an apology? It was with good reason he’d never married. Or even come close. He didn’t understand the fairer sex. And never would.

He glanced in the direction of the stable, knowing he’d best get back to work. Feeling a need to test the silence before he spoke, he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry for disturbing you, Mrs. Aberdeen. I could tell you wanted to be alone. And … I should have respected that.”

She continued to stare at the water moving past them.

“Good day to you, ma’am.” Feeling a heaviness within, he started back, struggling to remember why it was he’d sought her out in the first place. Not that it mattered now.

“Mr. Cooper?”

He paused and turned, not ten feet away. She stood exactly as he’d left her, facing the creek.

“I didn’t …”

Her voice trailed off, and for a second he thought the melody from the creek had washed away her words. Then she turned to face him.

“I didn’t get the position of head housekeeper.”

The words
I know
were nearly out of his mouth before he caught them. It didn’t feel quite right. Not with the way she was looking at him. “I’m sure you’ll find other ways to help, ma’am. I bet a lady like you knows how to do many things.”

She smiled and bowed her head. “Earlier,
before
I interrupted you … You said you wanted to make sure everything was clear between us.” She lifted her gaze. “What were you going to say?”

He took a step back in her direction and stopped. “I was going to tell you that I thought you handled yourself well with General Harding, ma’am. With the whole situation.”

She gave a soft sigh. “Thank you, Mr. Cooper.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs. Aberdeen.”

“One more question?”

Hearing subtle longing in her voice, he nodded, waiting.

“That first day, when I was in the carriage, you said you may not get what you’ve come for. What is it that you’ve come here for, Mr. Cooper?”

For not wanting to talk a minute ago, the woman certainly was chatty now. “I want to learn more about horses, how to work with them, how to train them. And I figured … what better place than here? The best thoroughbred farm in the country. Uncle Bob has agreed to teach me, with the general’s permission, of course. Have you met Uncle Bob yet?”

She shook her head.

“You’ll like him. And he’ll like you.”

Her mouth curved in a smile, but he sensed she was contemplating something.

“You said you wouldn’t be here long. That you were only passing through.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. That’s still my plan.” Watching her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, he added
good memory
to the mental tally he was keeping on her. “Once I’m done, I’m headed to the Colorado Territory.”

Her eyes widened. “The Colorado Territory? But there’s nothing out there. It’s wild. There are no cities and hardly any people. There’s only …” She huffed a disbelieving laugh. “Indians and bears and … freezing cold. Why in heaven’s name would you want to go there?”

Tempted to laugh at her response, the simplicity of the answer within him wouldn’t allow it. “Because it’s a world away from here.”

“From Nashville?”

“From the South.”

She frowned as though unable to comprehend him thinking such a thing. “But … what will you do there?”

He’d already told Bob Green about his plans and saw no harm in telling her. That part of his life wasn’t a secret. “I want to start my own ranch. Cattle, which is what my father did, so I know all about that.
But I want to have horses too. Thoroughbreds.” It felt good to say it aloud, to know he was finally on his way to making it come true. Or at least closer to it. “You might say it’s become a dream of mine. Not just the horses, but seeing the land. While it’s still wild, as you say, and unsettled, it’s a whole new world ready for the making, and I aim to be part of it. I’ve heard it’s beautiful too. The mountains so high they disappear into the clouds, the air so fresh and cold. And the snow …” He smiled, remembering how an article he’d read had described it. “They say it’ll almost blind you, it’s so pure and white. And the sun shines most all the time, even in the winter.”

She said nothing, and Ridley realized he’d been going on like some old woman. “I’m sorry. I got carried away.”

“On the contrary, Mr. Cooper.” The perplexed look on her face slowly gave way to a smile. “I envy you.”

He recalled what she’d said about never wanting to leave Tennessee. “You envy me my dream, Mrs. Aberdeen?”

Her smile faded. “I envy you having one.”

“Now take it
slow
this time, Ridley.” Uncle Bob spoke in a hushed tone, adjusting his weathered black derby on his head. Sweat from the afternoon sun moistened his face. “Like I done told you … don’t rush it. Give her time.”

Ridley wiped the perspiration from his brow, heeding Green’s advice — or trying to — just as he’d been doing every afternoon for the past two weeks. They’d managed to meet regularly enough, but never for very long. Work in the stables always kept coming. At this rate, he wondered if his plan to be here only a month — six weeks at most — had been too shortsighted.

Taking a deep breath, he eyed the mare and lowered his head a little, like Uncle Bob had instructed. A friendly act, he’d called it. Then, keeping eye contact with her, he inched forward, still believing he could do this. But his patience was wearing thin. He was beginning to think that learning this “gift” was going to take much longer than planned.

Seabird took a cautious step backward, the corral fence behind her. Her ears pricked like they had when Uncle Bob put the harness on her. Uncle Bob was the only one she would let come close so far. Nobody else.

“Real gentle like,” Uncle Bob urged behind him. “So she knows you don’t mean to hurt her.”

Resisting the unexpected urge to say,
I heard you the first twenty-seven times
, Ridley slowly brought his hand up, determined to make this horse trust him. To show her that if she’d just let him —

The mare pawed the ground and snorted.

“Come on, girl,” he whispered, tired of her mulishness. He’d only treated her well, so she had no reason to distrust him. “It’s all right. I just want to —” He reached for the harness and the horse reared, a hoof slicing the air inches from his face. He ducked to one side, then backed away, biting back a harsh word. His last thread of patience snapped. “Did you see that?!”

Uncle Bob raised his eyebrows, as if surprised at the outburst. “Mmm-hmm … I saw it.” He took a long drink of water from his tin cup. “Thought I told you to take it slow.”

Ridley stared hard. “I
did
take it slow.” His jaw hurt he was clenching it so tightly. “She’s just plain mean, that’s what it is. Mean and ornery.”

The mare blew out a breath that resembled a snorting laugh, and Ridley eyed her.

Uncle Bob sighed. “Take five minutes to cool down.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need —”

“I
said
… take five minutes to cool down.”

Ridley strode to a bucket of fresh water he’d brought out earlier, downed a few ladles, then tilted his head back and doused himself with the rest, aware of Uncle Bob doing the same a few feet away. Ridley heaved a sigh, not welcoming this challenge like he’d thought he would, nor this short fuse on his patience. It reminded him of former years and a part of himself he thought he’d left behind.

Not a breath of wind stirred. He wondered what the weather was like in the Colorado Territory and wished he was already there. But, surprisingly, thinking of being there made him think of somebody he would miss a little if he were.

He looked toward the house, figuring she was inside tending to Mrs. Harding. He’d only seen her a handful of times in recent days, but he found himself watching for her, hoping to run into her, which didn’t happen often since he mainly worked in the stables and that was the very last place Olivia Aberdeen wanted to be.

She’d informed him she would be serving as a companion to Mrs.
Harding, at least for the time being. Forced enthusiasm had colored her tone when she’d told him about her new position, and he wondered if that’s what had prejudiced his opinion about it. Being a companion to a lady was an admirable occupation for a young woman. But he sensed Olivia Aberdeen wanted more out of life than that. Whether she knew what that was yet or not. What she’d said the other day had returned to him, again and again:
I envy you having one
.

A dream, she meant.

He hung the empty bucket back on the fence post, thinking of the advertisement he’d torn from the paper a day earlier. He might be chasing a wild hare, but it was an opportunity he’d thought she might like. He didn’t know if her duties with Mrs. Harding would allow it, but it was worth a shot.