Toad Heaven (17 page)
Authors: Morris Gleitzman
“Mr. Goliath,” said the little cane toad. “Is it true that if you eat fifty lots of fire ants a night, humans won't want to kill us?”
“Something like that,” said Goliath. “It might be sixty.”
He winked at Limpy.
The little cane toad ran off happily.
Limpy showed Goliath the newspaper photo.
“Thanks, Goliath,” said Limpy. “I'm really glad you're my cousin.”
Goliath glowed.
“It's a funny thing, Limpy,” he said. “We went all that way looking for toad heaven, but if a crow from out west suddenly appeared and flipped me over and ate the soft juicy bits on the inside of my legs and tummy, I wouldn't want it to happen anywhere else but here.”
Limpy nodded and smiled.
He knew exactly what Goliath meant.
BRUMBY:
A wild or untamed horse. Strangely, there is no similar word for a wild or untamed yabbie. (See
yabbie
.)
CARKED:
Dead. Always followed by the word “it.” As in “Will Wally be coming to Dave's funeral?” “No, he's carked it too.”
CHIPS:
Small pieces of fried potato. Known in some places as French fries. But not in France, where they are called fried potato.
CROOK:
Ill or damaged rather than criminal. Limpy's crook leg is the result of a truck driving over it. At no stage has his crook leg ever tried to rob a bank or falsify corporate accounts.
FLOATIE:
An inflatable or foam device to help unsure swimmers stay afloat in pools and at the beach. Can be used in the bath if you're very nervous.
FULL STOP:
The little dot at the end of a sentence. Also an expression meaning “not at all.” So an Australian would say, “I don't like having to put full stops at the end of sentences, in fact I don't like full stops full stop.”
GOBSMACKED:
Stunned with surprise and/or amazement. If you ever find yourself gobsmacked while swimming in deep water, perhaps because you see somebody with a floatie shaped like a yabbie, be careful or you could end up carking it. (See
carked, floatie
, and
yabbie
.)
KNICKKNACK:
Small ornament beloved by most mothers on their birthdays, but only when purchased legally. (See
nick
.)
MATE:
Friend, comrade, buddy. Used a lot when people are being helpful and friendly. “Hey, mate, if that's your wombat over there lying on his back with his legs in the air, I think he's a bit crook.” “Thanks, mate.” (See
crook
.)
NICK:
Two meanings in Australia: (1) Steal. (2) Leave a place briefly. On the occasion of his mother's birthday, a thief might say “I'm just gunna nick out and nick a knickknack.” (See
knickknack
.)
WOMBAT:
A wild, but mild, Australian animal about the size of an overweight cat. Despite its plumpness, a vegetarian. Lives in a burrow too small for a home gym.
YABBIE:
A freshwater crayfish. Can be lured with a piece of meat on a string. This is not recommended if the yabbie is on someone else's plate in a restaurant.
Morris Gleitzman
grew up in England and moved to Australia when he was sixteen. He has been a frozen-chicken thawer, sugarmill rolling-stock unhooker, fashion-industry trainee, department-store Santa, TV producer, newspaper columnist, and screenwriter. Now he's a children's book author.
Toad Heaven
is his fifteenth book.
Published by Yearling, an imprint of Random House Children's Books a division of Random House, Inc., New York
Text copyright © 2001 by Creative Input Pty Ltd. Illustrations copyright © 2001 by Rod Clement
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eISBN: 978-0-307-54814-6
v3.0
