Toil and Trouble (3 page)

“Every time you touch me, it still feels like a lightning bolt running through my body.”

He smiled. “Well, it
is
energy.”

“Do you feel it when I touch you?”

“No, you aren’t yet a powerful enough witch. But, in time, your powers will be strong enough for me to feel it.”

I nodded, silently wondering when that day would come. I relaxed into the luxury of Rand’s heated seats and had to fight the wave of exhaustion that threatened to submerge me.

“I hope I wasn’t out of line warning Sinjin to keep away from you?” Rand asked, attempting to sound casual.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Rand was quiet for a few seconds. “He acts as if there’s something between you both.”

I shrugged. “He’s a vampire…they flirt.”

Rand nodded and seemed satisfied enough to stop pursuing the subject. A few seconds later, we pulled in front of my house and he turned the car off.

“I thought you were just dropping me off?” I asked, somewhat surprised by the fact that he hadn’t left the car running.

He opened his car door and walked around to open mine. He reached around my body and pulled me into his arms, lifting me up and kicking the door closed behind him. When we reached the porch, I fished inside my pocket and found my key. I only opened the door a sliver, trying to make sure my cat, Plum, wasn’t about to sneak through. The coast was clear.

“I want to make sure everything is in order before I leave you for the night,” Rand said.

As soon as we stepped inside, the lights came on, courtesy of Rand’s magic. He carried me through the small living room and into my sparse bedroom, reclining me on my bed with the greatest delicacy. That was when I realized he’d have to undress me as I couldn’t do it myself. Even though Christa was currently living with me to assist me with my daily needs, at the moment she was with John but due back any minute.

“You’ll have to help me with my clothes,” I whispered in a small voice. Ordinarily I could’ve just used magic to put on my jammies. But due to the latest course of events, I didn’t have any magic left. That’s why I felt so damned useless—my magic was in the process of healing.

Rand seemed taken aback, and I had to wonder why he wasn’t thrilled with the idea of seeing me in the buff. Not like I was thrilled with seeing myself in the buff either…He didn’t say anything, though, and quite matter-of-factly began the task of removing my shoes. He dropped them unceremoniously to the floor next to my bed and peeled off my socks. I could only hope my socks weren’t sweaty. Talk about a turn off…Is there anything worse than foot sweat? Course, I hadn’t done any walking so I was probably okay there.

“What do you sleep in?”

“My jammies are in the bottom drawer, far right,” I said in a voice made weak by the toad currently living in my throat.

He opened the drawer, pulling out a Victoria’s Secret pink cotton nightshirt. “This?” he asked.

“Yes, thanks.”

He approached me again and appeared to be avoiding eye contact.

“You don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable, Rand,” I said. “Christa should be here soon.”

“I gave Christa the night off,” he started. “And I’m not uncomfortable so there’s no reason for you to be in jeans all night,” he added, as if reassuring himself.

I had to wonder why he would’ve given Christa the night off but was spared the thought when he leaned over me and grabbed hold of the waistline of my jeans, his fingers brushing against my stomach. I fought to keep my eyes open as I relished the heat from his fingers while they undid my button and unzipped the jeans, sliding them down my body. He carelessly tossed them atop my socks and shoes.

“It might be easier to get my shirt off if you sit me up,” I whispered.

He nodded and gripping my elbows, pulled me toward him. I tried to raise my arms so he could more easily slide the turtleneck over my head but my arms refused to budge. Instead, he gently pulled each of my sleeves and while running his hand underneath the material, pulled my arms into the square of the shirt. Then he carefully slid the shirt over my head and dropped it on top of the jeans.

Then he looked at me, somewhat bewildered. “Do you wear your sleepshirt over what you’ve got on now?” he asked, alluding to my bra and panties.

“No.” I slowly responded.

He kneeled down in front of me, running his hands over the cotton of my nightshirt. A loose tendril of hair crested my shoulder and he gingerly positioned it behind my ear. His touch sent a ripple of shivers over my body.

“Rand,” I started but couldn’t finish. He leaned into me and I felt his hot breath against my neck. His hands cupped my face as he delicately brought his lips to mine. He kissed me softly at first, working his fingers through my hair. I moaned and his probing tongue plunged through my lips, eagerly seeking mine.

Suddenly, he withdrew and he was panting. “It nearly destroyed me when you were here with Trent,” he said, drawing his fingers down my cheek. “I had..nightmares…about him making love to you.”

I smiled. “And to think all you had to do was ask me.”

“You must realize my self esteem had already taken too much of a beating.”

His finger continued down the line of my neck and further down until he outlined my bra strap. He traced it to the mound of my breasts and down to the hollow of my cleavage, his eyes fastened on mine the entire time.

“Move back to the main house, Jolie, I want you near me.”

“You know where that led us before,” I protested weakly.

“I know there are issues between us but I don’t want you so far from me.” He reached around with his other hand and unhooked my bra, dropping it carelessly to the ground.

His eyes were riveted to my breasts and I felt my nipples harden under his scrutiny. He drew one finger around my torrid nipple, teasing the knob with his thumb and forefinger. I closed my eyes and sighed at the ecstasy erupting from deep within me.

“We always seem to end up in the same situation,” I said as I remembered Rand‘s inability to commit to me wholeheartedly.

“It’s something that haunts me constantly,” he sighed.

Any relationship between us could never be casual—it would have to be a permanent bonding of our souls. Hundreds of times more permanent than a human marriage. And that wasn’t me just being dramatic—that’s the way it was between witches—all or nothing.

“Rand,” I interjected, quickly snapping my attention from the lazy circles he was drawing around my breasts.

“Hmm?” he responded continuing to loop his fingers around my nipples, intermittently giving them a gentle squeeze to enhance their rigidity.

“Why did you tell me that love between witches was all consuming and that a witch can die if their lover dies?”

He stopped outlining my breasts and looked at me intently, his eyes not really seeing me but seeing through me as if into another time.

“I’ve seen witches die from losing lovers,” he said in a voice fraught with pain.

It was a reaction you would expect from someone who knew this information from personal experience and even though Rand had told me he’d never dated a witch for this exact reason, I couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t been exactly truthful.

“Is this coming from your own personal experiences?” I asked, almost regretting the question as soon as it fell off my lips. Did I really want to know Rand’s past where relationships were concerned?

He was quiet while his fingers traced the elastic line of my panties. He ran a finger across my stomach, from one side to the other.

“Yes,” he said simply.

He lifted me up then and placed my butt atop the pillows at the head of the bed, arranging me sideways across the bed while he pulled himself next to me, lying on his side. He resumed painting the outline of my underwear, his eyes studying me as if he were an artist.

“Can you talk about it?” I cautiously inquired, just as Plum jumped up on the bed. Rand picked her up, gave her a kiss on the head and promptly deposited her outside the door, closing it after her.

He faced me again with a slight smile and laid back down next to me. “Yes, I think we should.”

I felt his finger follow my panty line down my groin, to the inside of my thigh, and shuddered as it disappeared into the hollow between my legs. I dropped my head back into the pillows, relishing the feel of his finger as it traced up and over the other side of my panty line, up my inner thigh and over my stomach.

“Tease,” I whispered.

He chuckled and turned my face toward him, outlining my cheekbones. “I was deeply in love once,” he said and his eyes suddenly became sad and faraway.

The idea that Rand had been in love with someone hit me like a freight train. But the thought that he still hadn’t gotten over her was something even harder to accept.

“I was so bonded with her that when she was killed, it nearly killed me. I was sick for months and probably would’ve died if not for Mathilda.”

Mathilda was a fairy. She was also my teacher for many of the lessons I’d learned about magic. What I hadn’t counted on was that she would be the reason Rand had survived the death of his…wife for lack of a better word.

“Mathilda nursed me back to health,” Rand continued. “She fed me and cared for me as if I were an infant. At the time, I suppose I was.”

“You must have found the strength within yourself to have been able to survive such a loss, though?” I asked.

He cocked his head, as if he were pondering it for the first time. “I believe my survival was every bit due to Mathilda’s strength, not my own. She was able to make me forget, able to take away the pain little by little. She erased it from my mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just that, she erased my lover little by little until I couldn’t remember her face or her name. I don’t remember any of the details about her. All I feel now is an emptiness, a void. And I know that emptiness is due to the fact that I lost her.”

“Do you remember how you lost her?”

He shook his head. “All of it’s gone as if it had never been.”

I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to live with such a blank space within you, knowing someone you loved had been prematurely taken from you. It was almost as if Rand wasn’t complete.

“I wish you had told me this sooner,” I whispered.

He turned and faced me with a sad smile. “It’s difficult to think about.”

“You would rather live with a void than live with the memories?”

“Yes,” he said emphatically. “If I remembered the particulars, I don’t think I’d be alive or if I were, I don’t think I’d be sane. That’s what I meant when I said love is all encompassing. It’s not something to be taken lightly.”

And for the first time ever, I felt as if I was beginning to understand Rand, to understand his constant vacillations between wanting me and not. It didn’t make our situation any easier, if anything it added another layer to the strata of difficulty that was knowing and loving him.

“Hold me, Rand,” I whispered, wanting and needing to touch him.

He pulled me into him and squeezed me while resting his chin in the valley of my shoulder. “Once this war is behind us, Jolie…” he started.

“Shhh,” I interrupted. “Let’s not think about it now. You’re right, there’s too much at stake with Bella and Ryder.”

“Yes, that’s so.”

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I asked.

“I wasn’t planning to leave,” he answered and rolled me over so I could face him.

“You’re breaking my rule,” I said with a smile.

“And what rule is that?”

“You’re not in your jammies.”

He chuckled. “I don’t sleep in jammies, as you call them.”

“What do you sleep in?”

He smiled. “Nothing.”

“Then I suggest you get ready for bed.”

He pulled his sweater over his head, revealing the familiar broad expanse of his tan muscular chest. His pecs and taut stomach were just as glorious as they always had been. He stood and unbuckled his pants, allowing them to drop to the floor. But he didn’t remove his boxers.

“I thought you said you slept naked?”

“One of us needs to be in control,” he answered.

“Hmm, and what makes you think I’m not?”

He didn’t answer but wrapped his hands around my ankles. Without any warning, he pulled me down the length of the bed until he was perched between my legs. Then he lifted me up and leaned against me.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a breathy voice.

“You’ll find out.”

And before I could formulate another thought, he slid my panties off.

“Rand!”

He pushed my legs apart and with a lascivious smile, forced his head between them. And that’s when I felt his tongue prying me apart, eagerly lapping up my wetness. As his tongue darted in and out of me, I tried to arch up against him but my body felt limp, still too weak to respond.

My mouth still worked and I moaned and cried out unabashedly. At the moment of my climax, he replaced his tongue with a finger.