Tokyo Year Zero (26 page)

‘And there’s nothing wrong with that,’ says Kai –

But Kodaira doesn’t answer him. Kodaira stares at Kai and then around the room; Kodaira has stopped laughing now. Kodaira has stopped smiling now. Now Kodaira whispers, ‘But a man could have any age he wanted in China. Any age at all…’

‘And did you take any age you wanted?’ I ask him –

And Kodaira turns to look at me. And Kodaira recognizes me. And Kodaira laughs and tells me, ‘You were there, detective. I’m sure you saw what I saw. I’m sure you did what I did…’

No one laughing along, no one nodding now
…

Adachi is on his feet. Adachi says, ‘Enough of this shit –’

Kodaira turns away from me. Kodaira looks at Adachi –

‘You knew a fifteen-year-old girl called Abe Yoshiko. Abe Yoshiko hung around the barracks where you work. Abe Yoshiko and three of her friends were selling their cunts to the Shinchū Gun for leftovers and scraps. You fucked Abe Yoshiko and gave her scraps. On or around the ninth of June this year, you raped her, you strangled her and then you hid her body under a burnt-out truck in the scrapyard of the Shiba Transportation Company, didn’t you…?’

Kodaira shaking his head, Kodaira whispering to himself –

‘We have witnesses,’ says Adachi. ‘We have statements.’

Kodaira nodding his head now, Kodaira muttering –

‘Be the man you are,’ shouts Adachi. ‘And confess!’

Kodaira is still. Now Kodaira says, ‘Then I did it.’

‘Did what?’ asks Adachi. ‘Tell us every detail.’

‘I killed Abe,’ he says. ‘But I didn’t rape her.’

‘Really?’ asks Adachi. ‘Tell us why not?’

Kodaira laughs, ‘She was too young.’

*

‘Excellent work, Inspector Minami,’ says Adachi. ‘Excellent work.’

‘If there’s something you want,’ I tell him. ‘Just ask me.’

‘You know what I want,’ he whispers. ‘I told you last night; I want to talk to Fujita; to talk to him about the murder of Hayashi Jo.’

‘I told you,’ I say. ‘Fujita’s gone and I don’t know where.’

‘Really?’ he says. ‘I thought a good night’s sleep might have cleared your head, might have helped you remember who your real friends are; might have helped you to see things more clearly, see things my way, the clever way, the right way, the only way…’

‘I didn’t sleep at all last night and I don’t know where he is.’

‘That’s a great shame,’ he says. ‘A very great shame.’

‘It might well be a great shame but it’s also the truth.’

‘No, it’s a great shame because it means you’re going to have to go down to the Shimbashi Market and ask your new friend Senju Akira if he knows where his old friend Fujita might have gone…’

I curse him and I curse him and I curse him
…

‘If you want to know, then you go and ask Senju.’

‘But Senju Akira’s not my friend, he’s yours.’

I curse him and now I curse myself
…

‘But why would Senju know anything?’

‘You’re right,’ smiles Adachi. ‘Senju might know nothing, but he’ll know a lot more after he’s finished reading the letter…’

I curse and I curse and I curse and I curse
…

‘What letter?’ I ask. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘The letter about Fujita,’ he smiles. ‘About you.’

I curse and I curse and I curse
…

I stare at him. I ask him again, ‘What letter?’

‘Can’t you guess, Inspector Minami?’ laughs Adachi now. ‘The letter Hayashi Jo left in the drawer of his desk; the letter about
Detective Fujita and Nodera Tomiji and their plot to kill Matsuda Giichi; the letter that states Hayashi told you about this plot…’

‘I’m a dead man then,’ I say. ‘It’s a death sentence.’

‘Who says you don’t always get what you want?’

‘Senju will kill me,’ I say. ‘I can’t go to him.’

‘Yes, you can,’ he says. ‘You’ll be fine.’

‘He’ll kill me and you know it.’

Adachi takes an envelope from his jacket pocket. Adachi holds it up and laughs, ‘Only if he was to actually read the letter…’

I want to kill him, here and now, in the upstairs corridor of the Meguro police station, stab
him
, again and again –

Blood on the blade
…

Adachi pats my face. ‘Remember who your real friends are, corporal. And remember, I want Fujita!’

*

I should not have come back in here.
I need a drink
. I should not have sat down at this table.
I need a cigarette
. I should have gone straight to Senju.
I need some pills
. I should have gone back to Atago.
I need to see Ishida
. I should have gone to see my family.
I need that file
. I should have gone back to Yuki.
I need some sleep
. Anywhere but back in here, here sat at this table, here before Kodaira Yoshio –

Kodaira Yoshio leans across the table and smiles at me again and says, ‘Like I say, never heard of a Tominaga Noriko, soldier.’

‘But you knew Abe and you knew her friend Masaoka?’

‘Yes, I knew Masaoka and yes, I knew Abe Yoshiko.’

‘Tominaga Noriko was one of their group…’

He laughs. ‘There was no group, soldier.’

‘But they were all
fūten
together…’

Kodaira Yoshio sighs and stretches his arms high above his head and then he says, ‘It was just the two of them, soldier…’

‘There were four of them,’ I say. ‘A gang of them.’

‘Only time I ever saw groups of
fūten
was in China,’ he says. ‘But you’d know as much about them as I do, soldier…’

I should not have come. I should not have sat at this table –

I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember
…

‘Back in Jinan,’ he laughs. ‘I once saw a man who looked a lot like you. But he was Kempei and his name wasn’t Minami.’

*

I itch and I itch.
Kodaira country
. I scratch and I scratch.
Kodaira country
. I walk and I walk.
Kodaira country
. I sweat and I sweat. From Meguro towards Shimbashi.
Kodaira country
. The route takes me close to the Takanawa police station.
Kodaira country
. Near to Shinagawa.
Kodaira country
. This is where the initial investigation into the murder of Abe Yoshiko was based.
Kodaira country
. The next police station, the one before Atago, is the Mita police station –

Kodaira country. Kodaira country. Kodaira country
…

I change my direction. I change my course –

Kodaira country. Kodaira country
…

I go up the steps and through the doors of the Mita police station. I show my TMPD identification at the front desk. I ask to see the duty sergeant; an old man and a suspicious man, suspicious of Headquarters and suspicious of me –

My country now, not his
…

I tell him who I am, why I’m here and what I want –

‘You’re from Headquarters,’ he says. ‘So I’ve no choice but to give you his name. But I tell you this, though I no longer know his address, I wouldn’t give it to you even if I did because you lot ruined his life once and no doubt you’d do it again…’

‘Then just tell me his name,’ I say. ‘And I’m gone.’

The sergeant looks away as he spits, ‘Murota…’

I turn away now, itching and scratching,
gari-gari
, as I walk back through the doors, back down the steps and back outside –

I itch and I scratch.
Gari-gari
. I itch and I scratch –

It is dark now. It is late now. But I am near.

*

I itch and I scratch.
Gari-gari
. My arms and my legs.
I turn their shoes to face the door
. I itch and I scratch.
Gari-gari
. My back and my front.
I turn their shoes to face the door
. I itch and I scratch.
Gari-gari
. My scalp and my groin.
I turn their shoes to face the door
. I itch and I scratch.
Gari-gari
. My nails blood, my hands blood –

Death is everywhere. Death is everywhere
…

I take the scissors from her dresser.
I see black lice
. I take the cover off her mirror.
I see brown lice
. I begin to cut.
I see yellow lice
.
I cut the longer hairs on my head.
I see grey lice
. I cut the longer hairs on my body.
I see white lice
. Then I take the razor from her dresser.
I see black lice
. I open up the blade.
I see brown lice
. I dip the blade in the bowl of water by her bed.
I see yellow lice
. I have no soap but still I shave.
I see grey lice
. I shave off my hair.
I see white lice
. The hair on my head.
I see black lice
. The hair on my body.
I see brown lice
. Hair by hair.
I see yellow lice
. Every last strand.
I see grey lice
. In my scalp.
I see white lice
. In my groin.
I see black lice
. The skin beneath is red.
I see brown lice
. The skin beneath is raw –

I see yellow lice, I see grey lice, I see white lice…

The razor in my hand, the blade dull now –

Death is everywhere. Death is everywhere
…

Black lice. Black lice. Black lice –

Death follows us as we follow death
…

Yuki is awake. Her eyes open –

But we’re already dead
…

Tokyo, 87°, slightly cloudy

I turn their shoes to face the door
. No Calmotin. No alcohol. No sleep. No dreams. No air. No breeze. I am out of luck. Everything is falling apart.
I turn their shoes to face the door
. No Calmotin. No alcohol. No sleep. No dreams. No air. No breeze. I am out of luck. Everything falling apart.
I turn their shoes to face the door, three times I turn their shoes to face the door
. No Calmotin. No alcohol. No sleep. No dreams. No air. No breeze. No luck. Everything falling apart again, over and over and over, again and again and again –

She is beside me now, beside me now, beside me now
…

I cannot keep my eyes open but, when I close my eyes, I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep. I cannot sleep because I cannot stop thinking about her. I think about her all the time –

She is beside me now. She is beside me now
…

I think about her all the time –

She is lying beside me now
…

Her head slightly to the right.
In a yellow and dark-blue striped pinafore dress
. Her right arm outstretched.
In a white half-sleeved chemise
. Her left arm at her side.
In dyed-pink socks
. Her legs parted, raised and bent at the knee.
In white canvas shoes with red rubber soles
. My come drying on her stomach and on her ribs.
In white canvas shoes with red rubber soles
. She brings her left hand up to her stomach.
In dyed-pink socks
. She dips her fingers in my come.
In a white half-sleeved chemise
. She puts her fingers to her lips.
In a yellow and dark-blue striped pinafore dress
. She licks my come from her fingers.
In that yellow and dark-blue striped pinafore dress
…

She is beside me now, beside me now, beside me now –

I don’t want to remember. I don’t want to remember
…

I smash my fist into her three-panelled vanity mirror –

But here, in the half-light, I can’t forget
…

I shout into her mirror, again and again –

No one is who they say they are
…

‘Who are you? Who are you?’

*

Through the doors of the borrowed police station.
Ishida
. I have a shaved head.
Ishida
. Up the stairs of the borrowed police station.
Ishida
. I have a bandaged hand.
Ishida
. To the borrowed second-floor room where Hattori, Takeda, Sanada, Shimoda, Nishi and Kimura have him; Ishida with a black eye, a bloody mouth and handcuffed wrists.
Ishida
. Ishida looking at the floor, staring at his boots –

‘What’s going on? What have you done to him?’

‘You told us to keep him here,’ says Hattori.

‘I didn’t tell you to beat and handcuff him.’

‘We had no choice, did we?’ says Hattori.

‘What do you mean, you had no choice?’

‘He was going to run,’ says Takeda.

‘Just like Fujita,’ says Hattori –

Fujita. Fujita. Fujita
…

I wipe my face. I wipe my neck. I walk over to Ishida. I raise his face from the floor. I ask him, ‘Where have you been, detective?’

Ishida sucks the air in between his teeth but does not answer –

‘We think he went to see Detective Fujita,’ says Takeda –

‘We reckon he knows where Fujita is,’ agrees Sanada –

‘And knows why Fujita has gone,’ hisses Hattori –

‘But he won’t tell us anything,’ says Shimoda –

‘So I say we should turn him over to Chief Inspector Adachi,’ says Hattori now. ‘He’d soon make him talk…’

‘Why turn him over to Chief Inspector Adachi?’ I ask him. ‘What would Chief Inspector Adachi want with Ishida?’

‘The Chief Inspector was here looking for him,’ says Hattori. ‘Looking for Ishida, asking about Detective Fujita –’

I curse him and I curse him and I curse him
…

‘When was Chief Inspector Adachi here?’

‘Yesterday evening,’ says Hattori. ‘When you weren’t.’

I curse him and I curse myself
…

They are mumbling now. They are muttering now –

I am the head of the room! I am the boss
…

‘Enough!’ I shout. ‘I want your reports now!’

They stop mumbling. They stop muttering –

Eyes full of dissent and eyes full of hate
…

And they make their reports about Tominaga Noriko’s landlady. And they make their reports about Masaoka Hisae –

‘But there was one other thing,’ says Detective Sanada. ‘Masaoka told us that Kodaira Yoshio always had gifts on him…’

‘You mean like food,’ I ask him. ‘Like
kaidashi?’

‘As well as food,’ says Detective Sanada. ‘Proper gifts for ladies like jewellery, watches, umbrellas, you know…?’

‘Thank you, detective,’ I say. ‘Now I want you all back out on the streets today, back round Shiba and back round the park, back with the descriptions of Tominaga Noriko and Kodaira Yoshio…’

Investigation is footwork. Investigation is footwork
…

‘What about Ishida here?’ asks Detective Hattori.

‘Leave him to me,’ I say. ‘You just get to work.’

But Hattori doesn’t move. ‘What about Fujita?’

‘Get to work, detective!’ I shout –

But, for just one moment, Hattori still doesn’t move. None of them move; Hattori, Takeda, Sanada, Shimoda, Nishi or Kimura; their eyes full of questions and doubts, full of dissent and hate –

Lead your men! Lead your men! Lead your men!

Now Hattori moves and then they all move –

I am the boss! I am the boss! I am the boss!

‘Detective Nishi, you wait here,’ I say –

Detective Nishi nods. Nishi waits –

‘Detective Takeda! Detective Kimura!’ I shout after them. ‘What time will Tominaga’s landlady be at Keiō Hospital?’

‘I said I’d take her,’ says Takeda. ‘An hour ago.’

I am the boss! I am the boss! I am the boss!

‘What are you standing around here for then?’ I shout at him. ‘You two go and pick her up and meet me up at Keiō with her…’

They are mumbling as they leave, muttering again.

Lead your men! Lead your men! Lead your men!

I turn to Detective Nishi. I take Detective Nishi off to one side. I ask him, ‘Did you hear back from the Kanuma police?’

Detective Nishi nods. Detective Nishi takes a piece of paper from his jacket. Detective Nishi hands it to me –

‘Good work, detective,’ I tell him.

Nishi bows. Nishi thanks me –

I am the boss! I am the boss!

Nishi says it was nothing –

I am the boss! The boss!

I shake my head and I thank him. Now I write down a name on a piece of paper for him and tell him, ‘Get me an address for this man and then meet me at Keiō with it as soon as you can…’

Nishi nods again. Nishi bows. Now Nishi leaves –

He leaves me alone with Detective Ishida.

*

My skin is red.
Ishida on his knees
. My skin is raw.
Where is the file?
My hand aches.
What file?
My body sweats.
The Miyazaki Mitsuko file
. The city stinks of shit.
I don’t know what you’re talking about
. Of shit and dirt and dust.
The Miyazaki Mitsuko file
. The dirt and the dust that coats my clothes and coats my skin.
I’ve never heard of it
. That scars my nostrils and burns my throat.
Liar! Liar! Liar!
With every passing jeep and with every passing truck.
No, no, no
. I take out my handkerchief.
The file Fujita asked you to sign out
. I take off my hat.
No, no, no
. I wipe my face.
The file you signed out under Nishi’s name
. I wipe my neck.
I didn’t
. I stare up at the bleached-white sky.
The file you were to give to Fujita
. The clouds of typhus.
No, no, no
. The clouds of dust.
The Miyazaki Mitsuko file
. The clouds of dirt.
I don’t know what file you mean
. The clouds of shit.
The Miyazaki Mitsuko file!
My skin is red.
I don’t know what you’re talking about
. My skin is raw.
Tell me where it is!
My hand aches.
I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know
. My body sweats.
I’m sorry, then
. The city stinks of shit.
But I really don’t know
. The city stinks of defeat.
Because you’re on your own now
. This city on its knees –

And I curse him. I curse Fujita. I curse Adachi. I curse Hattori. I curse Takeda. I curse Sanada. I curse Shimoda. I curse Nishi. I curse Kimura. I curse Kai. I curse Kanehara. I curse Kita. I curse them all but most of all, I curse myself, I curse myself, I curse myself –

‘Get off your knees!’ I shout. ‘Get off your knees!’

*

The air is still thick with screams and sobs.
I hate hospitals
. I try not to breathe in.
I don’t want to remember
. The gurneys still lined up against the walls.
I hate hospitals
. I try not to stare.
I don’t want to
remember
. Through the waiting rooms, down the long corridors to the service elevator.
I hate hospitals
. I watch the elevator doors close.
I don’t want to remember
. I ride the dark elevator down.
I hate hospitals
. I watch the elevator doors open.
I don’t want to remember
. I watch them open again onto the light.
In the half-light
. I watch them open onto Dr. Nakadate; blood on his gown, blood on his mask and blood on his gloves.
I can’t forget
. Nakadate waiting for me. ‘You’ve not spoken to Chief Kita, have you? About Miyazaki Mitsuko?’

‘I’m sorry,’ I tell him. ‘But the file is missing…’

‘So what? You could still go to Chief Kita.’

‘Please give me a few more days…’

‘A few more days? Why?’

Just a few more days
…

‘Please doctor, I need to find the file. I need to read it…’

‘Why?’ asks Nakadate. ‘We all know what it must say.’

‘But I wasn’t even the senior officer,’ I say. ‘I need to find the file. I need to read it. And I need to speak to him…’

‘And you think he’d do the same for you?’

‘I really don’t know any more.’

‘A few more days,’ says Nakadate now. ‘But then I’ll go to Chief Kita myself, inspector…’

‘Thank you.’

‘And you really need to get that hand dressed too…’

‘Thank you,’ I say again. ‘I know I do.’

‘Then what are you waiting for?’

Not you. Not you. Not you
…

I bow to the doctor. I thank the doctor. I turn and I walk away. Down the basement corridor. Past the walls of sinks and drains. Past the warnings and the signs. Past Detective Takeda and Detective Kimura now sat waiting in the corridor with Tominaga Noriko’s landlady. Down to the glass doors. Into the autopsy room –

The clothing has already been laid out on one of the autopsy tables, the two white canvas shoes with their red rubber soles placed at its foot, and the ladies’ undergarments found near the scene placed again on one of the smaller separate dissecting tables –

I wipe my face. I wipe my neck. I step back out into the corridor. I ask Tominaga Noriko’s landlady to please step into the autopsy room. Tominaga Noriko’s landlady follows me back inside. Now the landlady glances up at the autopsy table –

She is here. She is here. She is here
…

The landlady collapses into tears –

She is here. She is here
…

The landlady nods –

She is here
…

‘Yes,’ whispers Tominaga Noriko’s landlady and I turn, then I walk and now I run back down the corridor, past the walls of sinks and drains, past the warnings and the signs, into the elevator and into the dark, into the dark then back out into the light, out into the light –

Nishi waiting for me. Nishi with an address.

*

My skin is not red.
Nishi can’t wait to ask
. My skin is not raw.
What happened?
My hand does not ache.
She identified the clothes
. My body does not sweat.
The yellow and dark-blue striped pinafore dress?
The city smells of flowers.
Yes
. Of flowers and blossom and perfume.
The white half-sleeved chemise?
The blossom and the perfume that coats my clothes and coats my skin.
Yes
. That tickles my nostrils and that caresses my throat.
The dyed-pink socks?
With every disappearing jeep and with every disappearing truck.
Yes
. I take out my handkerchief.
The white canvas shoes with red rubber soles?
I take off my hat.
Yes, yes, yes
. I wipe my face.
She identified all the clothing as belonging to Tominaga Noriko?
I wipe my neck.
Yes
. I stare up at the hint of blue in the sky.
Really?
The breeze in the air.
Yes
. The perfume on the breeze.
Then our body has a name?
The blossoms on the breeze.
Yes
. The flowers on the breeze.
Our body is Tominaga Noriko?
My skin is not red.
Yes
. My skin is not raw.
And her killer is Kodaira Yoshio?
My hand does not ache.
Yes
. My body does not sweat.
And you think he will confess?
The city smells of flowers.
Yes
. The city smells of garlands.
And then the case is closed?
The city smells of victory.
Yes
. My victory! My victory! My victory!

Not his victory. Not Fujita’s victory. Not Adachi’s victory. Not Kai’s victory. Not Kanehara’s victory. Not Kita’s victory –

‘This is my victory!’ I shout. ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!’

*

Murota Hideki is originally from Yamanashi Prefecture. But after he
was fired from the police for his inappropriate behaviour, after he was left without a job, Murota Hideki did not go back to his family’s home in Yamanashi. Murota Hideki stayed on in Tokyo. And so Murota Hideki still lives in an old wooden row house in Kitazawa, not far from the Shimo-Kitazawa station, the same old wooden row house that Detective Nishi found listed as his address in his personal records, the same old wooden row house before us now –