Tomorrows Child (41 page)

“Hmm, in debt
to a goddess, that doesn’t sound good.”

“That’s what I
thought, but she said something about the seeds were already
planted and everything is in place.”

Phoenix said
nothing for a while. “Well, let’s hope it has something to do with
spring gardens.”

“Oh, and she
said we were like sisters, whatever that is supposed to mean.”

Phoenix took my
hand and we walked toward the creek behind the house. The fire was
heating water for the moon bath and the ribbons of light danced
across the sky.

“You look
beautiful tonight.”

“Yeh thanks,
Navarre already told me, Libby too. Maybe even your mum.”

“That’s because
it’s true. And your clothes fit, how did that happen?”

“Their Mum’s,
from twenty years ago!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, amazing.
Libby’s an extreme hoarder; who would have ever guessed?” I wanted
to ask him about some other things that bothered me. Now that the
stone was securely in place and the lights were restored, there was
less for me to worry about.

“Hey Phoenix,
you know how you always tell me I have a choice, and I can love
whoever I like. Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s
the truth, you don’t have to fall in love with me.”

“But I already
have, I love you already.”

“Yes, I
know.”

“But even
though you know you have my heart, I don’t know how you feel. I
know that you used to love me and that we have been together
before. But it is your duty to be with me and protect me. I know
that this is the most important thing to you,” I said as he turned
and held my hands in his. He stared at me for a moment and his
violet eyes glistened.

“Oh, you’re
serious. You think I put duty above everything? You really think
that is the only reason we hang out? Psyche, that’s simply not
true. I spend time with you to be with you, not because of
duty.”

“But it’s done
now, you don’t have to hang out with me. You don’t have to see me
every day. Now that the stone is in place, you can do whatever you
like. You don’t have to babysit me anymore.”

“You think that
is what I do? ‘Babysit?’ I know it’s hard for you to understand.
The limitations of being a human with no memory of who you really
are is like a curse. It binds you to your humanity and limits your
understanding of love.”

“I don’t
understand,” I said. Tears welled in my eyes, but I wasn’t even
sure why.

“This life that
we know here is just a fraction of what life is all about. It’s
just a shadow of reality. Beyond my beating heart, beyond the
breath that gives me life, when all this is gone and my heart no
longer beats, then you will know that I am truly yours. But for
now, you must know that you have my heart and that every breath I
breathe is so that I can live and be by your side. This body, these
cells are alive because of you. I love you, Psyche, more than you
can even imagine.”

Now I was
really crying. Phoenix held me for the longest time until the tears
stopped. Then he said, “Do you understand? There is no choice for
me, there is only you.”

“You should
stop or I will cry again.”

“I will stop
when you tell me you understand.”

“I understand,
sort of, I just see sadness in your eyes sometimes like you’re not
happy. I thought it was because you’re getting tired of babysitting
me.”

“It is sadness
you see, but it’s because you’re so vulnerable, and I have to sit
by and watch you struggle. I can’t be the warrior, like Navarre. I
can’t attack first. I have to let you learn and make mistakes, and
it breaks my heart. That is what you see.”

“Now I
understand.”

As soon as my
head hit the pillow, I was asleep, exhausted. Or so I thought.

The sounds from
the forest permeated my dreams and instantly, I found myself
running… dreaming again. I knew that much. I was happy. I was free.
The sun danced in dappled patches through the canopy and warmed my
skin. It was a good day. I looked toward the sky and saw the
flickering lights, liquid ribbons of colour.

“Psyche?” It’s
Phoenix. But I’m sleeping. I try to force my eyes open. Phoenix
softly touches my arm, causing my skin to quiver and my body to
flush. He doesn’t say anything; he just holds out his hand for me
to follow. I feel so tired, but we’d been through so much lately
and I couldn’t deny Phoenix, even if I wanted to.

I follow him
into a garden. The moonlight throws long delicate shadows across
the spring lawn and illuminates his face. Phoenix is smiling.
Something is different… He is different.

He glances
towards my room and I look in the same direction, following his
eyes… I am still lying on my bed - sleeping.

Dreaming again,
I really should have known, but it feels different. This is no
dream. Phoenix shook his head. “No, Psyche, only your body
sleeps.”

As I looked at
Phoenix and then at myself, I realised there was something
different. We were… not quite solid… not quite transparent. Both
Phoenix and I stood in the moonlight, transmitting an ethereal glow
and yet not casting a shadow like everything else in the garden. It
was like this when I walked with the goddess.

Was I dead? No.
I could feel the magick in the air, so tangible that I could taste
it. Phoenix was smiling and shaking his head “You’re very much
alive, Psyche.”

Phoenix was
answering my questions, they remained unspoken thoughts, but he
heard them anyway. “This is your astral body. You’re safe, Psyche.”
I knew about out of body experiences - astral projection, but I had
never experienced it, nor had Phoenix ever mentioned it.

“Where would
you like to go, Psyche?”

“Where can I
go?”

“Anywhere and
everywhere.” Phoenix’s smile was enough to make my heart sing, but
his touch was tender and I felt more real and sensitive than ever.
I had nothing to compare this with except one stolen moment in the
kitchen, months ago.

“I could take
you home for a visit… There’s a place that’s special to me, to
us.”

I nodded.

He swept me up
in his arms. I watched the world fade beneath us, and we were
flying, Phoenix and I. Incredible, wonderful and amazing! Wrapped
safely in his arms, I could feel his breath and the pounding of his
heart. It was everything magickal all rolled into one moment. The
butterflies that resided in my stomach began to flutter. We flew
higher and faster and I felt the energy of the rainbow light tickle
my soul as we passed through. For a moment, I thought we were
surrounded by stars, but I held my eyes closed and absorbed the
rush.

I expected to
enter a doorway to heaven or maybe some other tangible portal, but
there was nothing. “We fly because we can, not because we have to
travel to our destination. We’re merely a breath away from the
mundane world,” Phoenix told me.

We stood,
hand-in-hand, in a field beside a narrow creek. The water was
crystal clear and the pebbles on the bottom glistened like opals in
the sunshine. I expect they were opals. Weeping willows lined the
bank and hung in wisps, reaching to the water below like delicate
fingers. I could feel Phoenix breathe and sensed a different kind
of magick floating in the air. The magick was as crisp, fresh and
untainted as freshly fallen snow. This was the way it was supposed
to be.

The scent of
wild flowers and fresh apples filled the air. It was breathtaking.
It was also familiar and the memories tugged at the edges of my
mind, but they remained hidden. I didn’t have to reach for them, I
knew they were there; these memories weren’t stolen or bound, but I
left them where they were, for now.

Phoenix was
still smiling, delighted with my response to his surprise.

“Wow, Phoenix,
this is amazing. We have to do this again.”

“We can come
any time you like.”

“Really? Are
you sure you’re allowed? No one will turn you into some tortured
immortal?”

“Not for
bringing you here, but our bodies need to be asleep, and Libby
might disapprove. But sure, other than the sleep requirement, we
can come anytime.”

“Then why have
we never done this before?” I couldn’t believe it, I could stay
here forever and never leave, but maybe that’s the point.

“If you’re
impressed now, my sweet Psyche, then you are about to be dazzled.
There’s so much more I can show you.”

Phoenix took my
hand and drew me close, brushing kisses lightly across my cheek and
my shoulder and sweeping tender lips along my neck and my mouth. I
touched the tip of my tongue against his lips and he tasted of
honey even here.

Phoenix pushed
our palms together and I watched our bodies begin to melt and flow.
My body was liquid, like mercury and honey. As he pressed himself
against me, I felt my entire body melt into his. It was as if we
were one, our bodies tangled in magick and consumed in the rush of
passion. We created a swirl of colours that bled into our liquid
bodies. Completely connected, wrapped in desire, consuming each
other and yet, somehow still separate. I could feel his heart beat
and his breath was sweet and warm.

My body was
free and flowed with liquid joy. I felt our love from the ages,
from lives before this one, and I heard the songs of our lives and
our love like a sweet melody. The love he felt for me needed no
words. As I realised the truth of this, I let my love go so that he
could feel my love too. Understanding our love was an amazing and
precious gift. I now understood why Phoenix stood beside me and why
he had returned to me. I would have done the same for him.

Slowly, Phoenix
began to free my spirit, not fully, but enough so that our bodies
began to form and take shape. I could feel his hands and then his
fingers. I could touch his lips again.

“We need to
return. It’s time to awaken - in your human body.”

“Can’t I just
lay here for a while longer? We really just arrived.” His arms
wrapped around me, I didn’t want to move.

“I am sorry, my
love, but time on earth moves differently. It’s almost dawn. We
still have a little time.” We relaxed under a huge tree on soft
fine grass. No words were necessary and none seemed right. We still
had not become separate entities and every sense was alive with the
pure magickal breath of life that surrounded us.

I watched
Phoenix smile and his violet eyes glistened, “You seem quite
pleased with yourself,” I said, but I was smiling too, brimming
with bliss and overflowing with love.

“Well, yes.
Actually, you have no idea how long I have wanted to bring you
here. But the timing was all wrong.”

“So, is that
what sex is like on the other side?” I blushed at the thought, but
I had to ask.

“Sort of, I
guess, maybe, but it isn’t sex, not in any sense of the word. As a
human, there is nothing to compare, nothing even comes close, there
aren’t any words that describe this experience.” It was true; there
really were no words.

“This was
special because of our love and our connection to the past.” I
watched Phoenix silently as he continued and that cheeky, crooked
smile pulled at his mouth. “You know, your virtue is still quite
intact.”

I hadn’t
considered this fact, but now that he mentioned it, I can say I
didn’t feel very virtuous and certainly not intact. We had been
more intimate than I could ever imagine or ever believed
possible.

“I wish it
could always be like this.”

“It will be one
day, when we have finished with this life. We won’t have to return
to earth again… This is definitely our last time.”

I smiled, “So…
when this life is done, we can do this all the time?”

“Yes, as often
as you like, but it might get boring… after a while.”

“I doubt it.” I
could hear someone calling my name. Confused, I looked at Phoenix,
he smiled and…

I woke up in my
bed.

I fumbled
through breakfast, a little dazed and more than a little mystified
as the images of what took place danced in my mind. It felt real,
but I knew it was only a dream. My dreams had always been vivid and
my imagination created surprising images, like a surrealist
painting. Not everything was as obvious as it appeared, but the
mist, that shrouds a dream in the light of day, was absent. There
was an intense clarity here that dreaming didn’t explain.

As I relived
the memories, a noise caught my attention, I looked up and saw
Phoenix leaning against the doorjamb, and his crooked, cheeky smile
sparkled in his violet eyes and confirmed that it had been real…
not a dream at all.

Losing all
restraint, I jumped from my chair and wrapped myself in his arms.
"I love you, Phoenix."

"I love you
too, Psyche."

A tall timber
dais stood in the centre of the cold stone room. Perched on top was
a large, leather-bound manuscript. Long slender fingers reached
out, tentative at first, as they began turning the pages. The woman
devoured the words with childlike enthusiasm and a hunger that was
never completely satisfied. The words were not new, nor were they
written by the woman nor the girl child that stood beside her,
anxiously seeking her approval.

The woman
sucked at the cool air, causing the girl to twitch nervously and
pick at the fresh scabs on her arm. A smile slowly crept across the
woman’s face. She was pleased. There was no need for the fear that
kept the girl so silent and obedient. This girl was a prize, not
like the last. She came bearing gifts and she asked for nothing in
return, which was just as well because she would probably get
nothing.

The girl held
out her arm as an offering; she knew only one way to please the
woman.

“Hmm, not now,
dear, we have much to do and very little time.”