Tonight or Never (36 page)
Authors: Dara Joy
Chloe embraced him to her, moaning his name. The heat from their bodies released the scent of immortelle strewn about their bower.
"You do know what I mean," he negated her response in a raspy voice.
"No, I—"
He penetrated her a little bit more,
then
pulled her hips up onto him, giving him that extra depth she adored.
"Oh, dear God, please
… !"
Fused to him and pinned under him, Chloe knew she was close to losing her control. With him inside her like this, so close, so a part of her, her defensive walls were starting to crumble around her.
John sensed her indecision. He felt the tremors rack her body as she fought off completion and surrender.
So he spoke against her lips, kissing her, moving swiftly in her. "Yes, sweet, yes… don't hold back… don't ever hold back…"
Everything happened at once then.
Chloe lost control.
Completely.
She became a wild thing under him, clutching him, biting him, calling out his name in a sobbing cry.
Moved as much as she, John roused to new heights.
Something seemed to stir up in him, a kindling spark of passion that fanned higher and higher.
"Yes, yes, yes," he breathed. "Oh, God, just like that…"
For the first time in his life while making love, John lost track of where he was, who he was. Chloe became his entire universe. He couldn't think; he could only react. Lord Sexton took her as he himself was taken.
Their desire transcended mere passion.
It had never happened to him before. John knew not what he was saying, nor what he was asking. He was totally consumed by the raging emotion the two of them had created together.
He coaxed, he purred, he moaned, and he
begged
.
And so, when he ground into her to hoarsely cry out, overwhelmed, "Give me a child, Chloe…" the last wall she clung to shattered and she released what she had held back from him all these years.
"
Je
t'aime
!
Je
t'aime
! I love you! I have always loved you, John! Always…" She clung to him, pouring out her love in a never-ending litany of completion.
Apparently, it was not what John expected to hear, for with her disclosure his sanity returned.
He went stock-still for an instant before his physical needs overcame him and he found release, a powerful and hot satisfaction from deep within.
He was ominously silent as he lay upon her, his face still burrowed into the curve of her neck.
Chloe did not move or speak. Always, when John finished making love to her, he would kiss and hold her and laugh with her. Often he would begin anew, telling her she had a rare gift for inspiring a man.
This time he did none of those things.
Chloe swallowed down the trepidation rising in her throat. Now that the heat of passion had passed, she realized exactly what she had revealed to him.
What have I done
? It was too soon—much too soon.
Silently, John disengaged from her. Standing, he pulled on his breeches and his shirt.
Chloe looked at him questioningly, but he would not meet her eyes. He picked his boots up off the floor and walked over to the paned glass door leading outside. He hesitated for a moment before he opened the door and walked into the dawn.
Leaning back on her elbows, Chloe stared at the empty doorway, stunned that he had left.
It was over. She had lost.
A sob escaped her throat. It was all over.
She threw herself down on the remains of the pallet he had made, the pallet they had heated with their own fire. It was cool now.
Only a hint of scented oil remained as testament to the desire they had just shared.
The enormity of what had occurred struck like a physical blow. She had lost her special love. She had lost John.
Anguished, she cried her heart out.
John walked into the maze, following the twists and turns even in the dim light. When he reached the center, he sank down onto the stone bench.
It was the same bench he had been sitting on when she had proposed to him.
In a daze, he leaned back against the trunk of the tree, seeking the solid support of the wood.
It had all been a ruse.
She had never intended to seek out other men. She had never even been with another man!
He closed his eyes and wondered what he had ever done in his life to deserve this. For the truth could no longer be denied.
He loved Chloe with every fiber of his being.
He always had and he always would.
Taking a deep breath, he opened the door to the memories he had tried to suppress his entire life…
His father.
The resentment he felt whenever he thought of him. The pain he had seen his mother endure—the pain he had endured.
The prior viscount had one terrible weakness, which had destroyed his family. John had always thought the worst thing his father had done was not in the losing of his estate itself, but in the leaving of them. His self-inflicted death was something John had never been able to come to terms with. Not when it left his wife and young son so alone in the world. He could never forgive him for that. Not after seeing what it had done to his mother.
John exhaled heavily.
His mother.
She had loved so deeply.
A kind, affectionate woman.
The same depth of love she gave to her husband, she gave to her son. She had tried so hard to take care of him afterward.
Moisture filled John's eyes as, along with the memories, he confronted what he had never wanted to face in himself.
Everyone had always assumed he was exactly like his father. They surmised that instead of the baize table, it was women that lured the present viscount.
How wrong they were.
He had always been
just like his mother
.
She used to say to him, "John, you're my son for sure," before she wiped away his tears over some emotional hurt he had suffered. When his hound died; when the neighbor's boy had broken his leg and gangrene had set in and they had to remove it; when he found a bird with a broken wing and his father killed it to put it out of its pain… He cared so passionately about the life around him.
His mother's son.
He never wanted to end up the same way she had.
Broken, alone, dying in a crofter's hut.
Still calling the name of the person she loved…
Her death had a profound effect on him. For years after, he had nightmares about it.
John had resolved at a young age never to care that deeply again about anyone or anything in his life.
In an effort to run from his true nature, he had slept with so many women… Meaningless tussles where passion was spent and that was all.
How blind could he have been?
Well, he wasn't going to run anymore.
John slipped his boots on and made his way back to the house.
She was in their sitting room.
The emerald dress she had worn to the ball hung on her now, wrinkled and gaping open in the back where she hadn't bothered with the buttons. She was leaning against the mantelpiece, one arm bracing her as if she needed something to hold her up.
When she heard him walk into the room, she looked over her outstretched arm at him.
He could see that she had been crying.
Their eyes met for an endless moment, uncertainty and fear in hers, pain in his.
Then he simply opened his arms wide.
With a cry from the depths of her soul, Chloe ran to him, throwing herself in his embrace.
"John, John." She sobbed, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He held her tightly to him. "I'd die without you, Chloe."
Trembling, Chloe wept, her tears moistening his throat as she burrowed into the warm place and wouldn't come out.
"
Shh
." He stroked her hair, soothing her. "Don't, love; there's nothing to cry about."
John didn't heed his own words, for his eyes were suspiciously stinging him. How had this slip of a girl brought him to his knees?
"However did you manage it?" he whispered to her.
Sniffing, Chloe stared up at him, love and wariness on her sweet face.
His heart melted all over again.
"Hmm?"
He kissed the tip of her nose.
"I…" She bit her lip. "I seduced you, John."
His eyes widened. "You seduced
me
?"
She nodded vigorously.
He cocked an arrogant eyebrow.
"The Lord of Sex?"
"Yes." She smiled tremulously.
"Well, then…" He grinned, revealing two deep dimples. "I guess the thing speaks for itself."
Their joyous laughter mingled with everlasting possibilities as the dawn, golden and pure, spread its flowering light across the estate.
And John realized that love was not the dark emptiness of a lonely night.
It is the morning ray that awakens.
DARA
JOY
Dara
Joy's first book,
Knight of a Trillion Stars
, was published in July 1995. After receiving a rave 4 1/2-star review from
Romantic Times
, the book was nominated for two RITA awards, the Holt Medallion, and the
Romantic Times
Reviewer's Choice Award.
Her second novel,
High Energy
, a contemporary suspense fashioned after the screwball comedies of the thirties and forties, was published in a special edition with Jayne Ann
Krentz's
Whirlwind Courtship
. The book appeared on the
USA Today
bestseller list and garnered another 4 1/2-star rating from
Romantic Times
for this diverse author.
Dara's
third novel,
Rejar
, received a 4 1/2 Gold star rating (with a gold medal) from
Romantic Times
, followed by
Tonight or Never
, which garnered a 4-star rating.
Dara
Joy resides in
