Too Far Under (37 page)

“You sound annoyed with the findings,” I
said. Then I sat back to give him an opportunity to continue.

“I’m sure Glenna pushed him,” Shane said,
“but there’s no way I can prove it. I was thinking that if you
could help me contact Grandad, maybe I could get some evidence that
would help us pin this on her.”

What? He wanted me to help his family track
down another murderer? Inside I was screaming No! No way! but I
choked the words down and stayed silent. I forced myself to sit
quietly in my seat. I knew he was coming from grief and anger. I
understood and totally sympathized. I’ve been very close to my
grandparents all my life, and I know how vulnerable old people can
become. The idea of anyone taking advantage of them in any way
disgusts me. But I knew I couldn’t take on another cause.

I tried to let him down easy. “Did you know
that Lacey already contacted your grandfather?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yes, but she didn’t find out
anything about who pushed him.”

“Vernon told her it was his time to go,” I
reminded Shane, “and that’s all he would say about the fall. Even
if you do contact him, I don’t think you’re likely to get anything
more.”

“I just want to try,” Shane begged. “Can’t we
just give it one more try?”

I couldn’t face any more arguing with him, so
I finally said; “I’ll think about it and get back to you in a few
days.” But I knew I was done helping the Townes family. I needed to
get back to my own life and spend some time reviewing and
rethinking the choices I’d made.

When you get a life-changing surprise, you
want to share the news with someone close to you, ideally someone
who has time to listen and talk. My bombshell came on Tuesday
afternoon, a week after that horrible Tuesday when Angelica and I
were kidnapped.

I had spent the morning moving Gramma into a
comfy, sunny room at Glenwood Gardens

Mary
Ellen, Joanna and Betsy’s new assisted living house. As promised,
it was small and homelike with a fireplace in the living room,
plants everywhere, a resident cat, and a deck and a yard where
residents could walk and sit. I especially loved the open kitchen
where everyone could eat together family style at a large dining
table. Gramma seemed at home there right away thanks to staff and
other residents she knew from Shady Terrace.

I was home alone in the afternoon when I got
my shocking news. I wanted to share it right away, but only in an
in-person conversation. I called Pablo, but he said he was busy all
afternoon and evening. Then I called Elisa. She said she had news
to share too and could meet me later.

It was Halloween, so we agreed to meet on the
Pearl Street Mall at 5:00 to see the little kids parading in
costumes and trick-or-treating for candy at the stores along the
mall. Then we’d go to the Rio for dinner and a long talk. Sounded
great. I was looking forward to meeting up with Elisa. I hadn’t
seen her for nearly two weeks, mostly because she’d been out of
town at a conference most of last week when everything was blowing
up in my face.

After the crises were over, I’d filled her in
by phone on Faye and everything that had happened. And accepted the
tongue-lashing I knew I’d get for getting myself into a
life-threatening mess yet again. Or in her words, “Honey, if you
want to live to be old, you need to learn to back away from serious
shit like that before it sticks to you.”

What could I say? She had warned me to stay
out of the Townes family drama, and maybe she was right. Still, now
that it was over, I wasn’t actually sorry that I’d followed Tyler’s
directives to stay involved and help Angelica. Despite the trauma
Angelica and I went through, the overall results were positive. In
the past week Faye had been charged with kidnapping and art fraud,
and the police had reopened their investigation of Mirabel’s
death.

Best of all, Derrick had come to realize how
precious Angelica is to him and started giving her priority over
Judith, who had huffily moved back to her own place. There was no
more talk of sending Angelica away to school. And she had an
exciting new activity.

With Shane’s help, Derrick had purchased a
comprehensive art-gallery-software-management system to get the
gallery’s finances in shape. He had turned the day-to-day operation
of the gallery over to Lacey to run with the assistance of a
consultant. And, as long as she kept up with her schoolwork,
Angelica was going to spend weekends helping at the gallery.

But I wasn’t going to try to justify my
actions to Elisa by listing off all these good outcomes. I hadn’t
seen her for two weeks and I just wanted to enjoy hanging out
together on the mall, then go to the Rio, hear her news and tell
her mine.

We strolled among princesses, Spidermen,
Elmos, vampires, Batmen and other less-identifiable characters,
some squealing in excitement, others crying in exhaustion. The kids
were adorable, but also demanding. I was impressed with how handily
parents steered them through the crowd while tiny voices clamored,
“I don’t like that kind of candy,” “I need to go potty,” and “I’m
thirsty.”

“Thinking of thirsty,” Elisa said with a
grin. “Let’s head over to the Rio. I hear a margarita calling
me.”

It was early, so we got a table right away. A
server wearing a unicorn Halloween costume brought us chips, salsa
and water. Then a sexy-looking Wonder Woman in thigh-high red boots
and a short blue skirt appeared to take our drink orders. “Rocks,
salt,” Elisa said, using Rio shorthand for a margarita on the rocks
in a salt-rimmed glass. “Same?” she asked giving me a quick
glance.

“No,” I said slowly. “I’ll have a ginger
ale.”

“No way,” Elisa said, laughing. “She’ll have
the rocks, salt. She’s just trying to get me going.”

“No,” I said firmly, waving Wonder Woman
away, “I’ll have the ginger ale.”

After the server left, Elisa gave me her
this-better-be-good look. “What gives? Have you converted to
Scientology or what?”

“I’ll tell you later,” I said. “But first
tell me your news.”

“Only if you agree to explain your conversion
from the world’s best margaritas to ginger ale.”

“I will, but it might take some time. So tell
me your news first.”

“Fine,” she said with a sigh. “Here it is.
Tim Grosso was hit so hard by finding out that Faye wasn’t who he
thought she was that he’s taking a leave of absence to go off to a
Buddhist retreat center for six months. And I’m going to be the
interim chair of the Psych Department.”

“Wow!” I said. “That’s great. And kind of
amazing since you just got tenure.”

“I know. But department politics are strange,
as you know. I guess he thought I’d be a good choice since I’m not
part of one of the established factions. Anyway, that’s my news.
Now what’s up with you?”

The server brought my ginger ale and Elisa’s
margarita, which sure looked tasty. After she left, I took a deep
breath. “I’m pregnant,” I said, “so no alcohol.”

For maybe the first time in her life, Elisa
was speechless. She stared at me, took a big swig of her drink,
then finally spoke. “Is this good news? Are you happy?”

“Yes,” I said thoughtfully. “I think I
am.”

“What about Pablo? What does he think?”

“I haven’t told him yet. I just found out
this afternoon when I peed on the stick. I didn’t want to tell him
on the phone, so I called him and invited him to dinner so we could
talk. He said he couldn’t come tonight because he’d promised to
help a friend move after work. I’ll see him tomorrow. But I wanted
to talk about it today. So I called you.”

Elisa looked thoughtful. Didn’t make her
usual quick comeback. Finally she said, “What do you want him to
say?”

That was a good question that opened up a
long conversation about life and love, choices and commitment,
uncertainty, and planning for the future. Elisa pushed me in the
good way that only she can to focus on what really matters to me.
It was a satisfying talk, but I couldn’t resolve what I wanted from
Pablo.

Finally I tried to sum it up for Elisa this
way, “On the one hand, Pablo’s a very sweet guy who would make a
terrific dad. He cares deeply about family and is a loving uncle to
his nieces and nephews. We love each other and we have great sex.
But on the other hand, we also have our issues with trust and
commitment. Mia is a good example, and I still don’t know what his
relationship with her is.”

Elisa listened thoughtfully, then asked,
“What do you think is behind your and Pablo’s hesitance to commit
to each other?”

As soon as she asked, the problem was clear
to me. “I think he’s too bossy. He takes over and I feel swallowed
up by him. He thinks I’m too flaky. I can’t imagine him ever
believing in my Contact Project or accepting that Tyler is more
than a figment of my imagination.” I stopped, took a deep breath,
and said the scariest part. “I really don’t know whether a
permanent relationship—should I say marriage? —is in the cards for
us.”

Elisa nodded. No judgement that I could see.
“But the baby?” she asked.

Again my answer was crystal clear. “Whatever
happens between Pablo and me, I want this child,” I said earnestly.
“I’m thirty-seven years old and I want to be a mother. I didn’t
plan this baby, but I see her or him as a gift.” I smiled. “Who
knows? Maybe my child will be an Indigo.”

###

Acknowledgements

Again I acknowledge Raymond Moody, M.D.'s
Reunions (Villard Books, 1993), which was the inspiration for
Cleo's Contact Project. Also, Afterlife Encounters by Dianne
Arcangel (Hampton Roads Publishing, 2005), and the Indigo Children,
by Lee Carroll and Jan Tober (Hay House 1999) were helpful
references as I wrote this book.

Many thanks to those who read and edited
drafts of this book, especially Marian, Janet and Andrea from my
Boulder Media Women's critique group.

As always my husband, Allan, and my daughter,
Laurel, were my go-to readers who went through draft after draft,
giving me useful notes and unwavering support. I couldn't have done
it without them.

Other books by Lynn Osterkamp:

Too Near the Edge
(first novel in the
Cleo & Tyler mystery series)

Stress? Find Your Balance
(nonfiction)

How to Deal with Your Parents When They
Still Treat You Like a Child
(nonfiction)

For information, visit Lynn Osterkamp’s
website at:

http://www.lynnosterkamp.com