Too Many Curses (24 page)

So many questions assailed her that, for once, she refused to think about them anymore. She wasn't without her limits. She wandered quietly through the castle for a while without thinking much about where she was going until she opened a door and was nearly pierced by a crossbow bolt that buried itself in the wood a few inches above her head.

"Ye idiotic gnome," growled Sir Thedeus. "I told ye not to fire unless ye were sure 'twere her."

"I didn't fire it," said Gnick. "I'm in charge of aiming." The crossbow across his back was obviously intended for much larger hands. He let it slide off his shoulders and lowered it to the floor. "If you're going to blame someone, blame the weasel."

Dodger shrugged. "Sorry. I didn't realize how sensitive the trigger is."

"Ye have to be more careful." Sir Thedeus flew to Nessy's shoulder. "Are ye all right, lass? We dinna skewer ye?"

"I'm fine." Nessy tugged at the bolt, but it was firmly implanted in the door. She reached for the parchment hanging from the shaft.

"Dunna touch it, lass. 'Tis a rune spell that Yazpib supplied us. He says it should either turn the witch into a tree stump or give her a case of convulsing hiccups. He wasn't sure which. Lousy excuse for a wizard, if ye ask me, but he's all we have and either one should slow her down."

"And the bolts are purest silver," added Echo. "Mined from the Sacred Mountains."

"My idea," said Gnick. "Of course, there are only three in existence, and we just wasted one."

"We still have two more," said Dodger. "Now help me load again."

Gnick sighed. "It took us fifteen minutes last time, and I wasn't tired then."

Sir Thedeus flew to the crossbow and together with the gnome and the weasel, they tugged at the taut string. "And to give it that extra kick," he explained between grunts, "we dipped them in the blessed water of the Fount of the Clouded Heaven. Put yer back into it, lad."

Gnick just snarled.

"If this doesn't stop her then nothing will," said Sir Thedeus.

Nessy didn't quite agree, but she saw no reason to discourage their efforts. Instead, she joined in the tugging and seven minutes later, the crossbow was loaded again.

Sir Thedeus panted, his tongue darting in and out of his mouth. "How did ye escape, Nessy lass? We thought for sure ye were done for."

"She let me go."

"Let ye go? But why?"

Nessy had no response.

Dodger said, "There's a flock of demon fireflies terrorizing the west wing. Just thought you might want to know."

"Don't add to the lass's problems." Sir Thedeus perked up. "Ye needn't worry about it, Nessy. We'll handle it."

"Easy for you to say," griped Gnick. "You aren't the one who has to lug this thing through the corridors."

Nessy smiled. She wouldn't have faulted them for cowering in the shadows and hoping for these problems to fix themselves, but they were trying. Their efforts, while doomed to failure, were commendable. And touching. She couldn't think of a better group of friends, and she wasn't going to lose them to Tiama. Not if she could help it.

The demon could be contained. Nessy didn't know how to get the fireflies back into the Purple Room or if the enchantments that had once bound the demon within were still intact, but these all seemed minor concerns. That was the one benefit to having so many problems. Even the big ones were relatively small after a while.

A voice rolled from a darkened corner. "Nessy, Nessy, Nessy."

She recognized it immediately, and though it should've been the last thing she expected, she was no longer in a mood to be surprised.

Dan, no longer decapitated, strolled into the brighter torchlight. "I've found you, I have. Right where I knew you'd be." He leered, but a bare skull always leered. "I told you ol' Mister Bones and Dan would be the best of friends again, didn't I? And ol' Dan's word is as good as a viper's fang. And twice as sharp." He lurched forward, hands extended like grasping talons. "Come and give ol' Dan that hug I've been waiting so long for."

The nurgax pounced with a feral roar. It was the first time the creature had demonstrated outright hostility. Even when it had devoured Margle, it'd done so quite innocently. But it'd never liked Dan. The mad skeleton struck the creature aside with a single blow. The nurgax fell back with a yelp and a dark welt already visible on its snout.

"Naughty, naughty. I'll not be done in like Margle. I was always a strong boy, though mostly skin and bones. Now that I've lost the skin, you'd think I'd be the weaker for it, but appears I'm stronger still. Wonderfully strong." Dan chuckled. "Strong enough to choke the life out of anything I can wrap my hands around. But words . . . words so often fail us. Come here, Nessy. Let ol' Dan give you a demonstration."

"Fire," screamed Sir Thedeus.

Dodger pulled the trigger, and the bolt soared true. It passed through a gap in Dan's rib cage and buried itself in the stones behind him.

"Oh, damn. Ye blasted gnome, can ye not aim a'tall?"

"The time has come, Nessy," said Dan. "Margle's revenge is at hand. I'll strangle you, then that beast, then that bat. And nothing can stop me." He howled like a mad wolf. His skull twisted. He hiccuped loudly.

The rune spell stuck to his bones went up in a flash. He hiccuped again, louder this time. A third hiccup erupted with such force that his jaw slipped from its right hinge and wagged halfway off his skull. He shoved it back into place. "Oh now this is vexing."

Dan's bones rattled with every convulsing spasm. He clutched his abdomen, which he didn't technically have, and it helped to quiet his hiccups a little. "Don't think this'll stop ol' Dan. *Hic* Not for more than a minute. *Hic* Not for more than a—" He ground his teeth, fighting off the next wave. Ten seconds later, without uttering another peep, he stood straight. "There we go. Good as, good as, as . . ."

He unleashed a discordant blast, the kind of hiccup reserved for a drunken god after a millennium of debauchery. Dan fell to pieces.

"I don't like being vexed," he grumbled. "Sours my sunny disposition, it does."

The collection of bones rapidly pulled themselves together. Speed was more important than anatomy, and Dan lurched awkwardly on his hands as his skull swayed on the
end of a femur. Another hiccup caused one of his limbs to fall apart, and he hopped around to maintain his balance.

"One second, Nessy. *Hic* Dan'll be right with you. *Hic*"

"You should run away, Nessy, while you can," suggested Echo. "We don't know how long the spell will last."

Nessy was growing tired of running from her problems, but she couldn't see any alternative. Even with his accursed hiccups, Dan was a great danger now that he had his body back. He was vulnerable, and the nurgax could easily devour his mad skull, but she didn't know the effect that might have on Mister Bones, who she still wanted to save if she could.

"Find someplace safe," she told the others. "And stay away from Tiama."

"We're just trying to help," said Echo.

"I know, but Tiama is reluctant to kill me. I don't think she'll hesitate with anyone else."

"I didn't want to do this anyway," griped Gnick. "Technically, I'm not supposed to leave the armory."

Sir Thedeus climbed on Nessy's shoulder. "We better leave, lass. The skeleton looks to be adjusting to the spell."

Dan glowered, having reassembled into an awkward configuration, resembling a centipede with various bones for legs. His pelvis perched atop his skull like a big white bow. Hiccups shook loose odds and ends.

Gnick and Dodger went off in one direction, while Nessy, Sir Thedeus on her shoulder, the nurgax by her side,
and Echo hovering somewhere by her ear, headed in another.

"Ol' Dan will find you, sweet Nessy!" the skeleton shouted. "I'll find you!" A hiccup echoed along with the clatter of bones. "And I'll be in a most unpleasant humor when I do!"

They walked a while in silence.

"So what do we do now, Nessy?" asked Sir Thedeus.

"I'm not sure."

"But ye always have a plan, lass."

"Not this time." She stopped, and Sir Thedeus, shocked, tumbled from her shoulder.

"Ye canna give up. We need ye."

"He's right," said Echo. "We're not good for much ourselves."

Nessy frowned. "That's nonsense."

" 'Tis true, Nessy." Sir Thedeus scaled her leg to return to his perch. "None of us are the heroes we once were."

"Ridiculous." She plucked him from her shoulder and held him in cupped hands. "Your curses define you only so much as you allow. I don't know why I should have to keep reminding you of that."

"Aye, but we still have to accept our limitations."

She put him back in place. "Acceptance is one thing. Allowing yourself to be defined by them is quite another."

"I suppose," said Echo. "But it's hard not to sometimes."

"We will break your curses. After we deal with these difficulties."

"But how can you be certain?" asked Echo. "It's so much to overcome."

"Because I choose to be certain." Nessy smiled. "Because I'll take hope over hopelessness any day."

"But it's not always easy, lass."

"It's all well and good to set reasonable goals, but when unreasonable goals are your only choice, you should always strive for them. Because it's not really a choice at all."

"I'd never thought of it like that," said Sir Thedeus. "So do ye truly think we have a chance?"

"There's always a chance."

They turned a corner. Tiama the Scarred stood before them. A faint smile hinted upon her lips. "There are no more chances."

Nessy backed away.

"Oh please don't tell me you're going to run now. What would be the point?"

While Nessy agreed, she still turned and bolted down the corridor.

Tiama's laugh was as cold and lifeless as the wizardess herself. It chased Nessy through the halls. Nessy had a finetuned ear when it came to echoes, but she couldn't pinpoint exactly where it came from. One moment, it was behind her. The next, ahead of her. And sometimes, it seemed like every direction at once.

She ran because she couldn't think of anything else to do. She truly was out of ideas. It was an unusual occurrence. Nessy rarely found herself without a plan, even if it was only a vague outline of one. But she could see no course of action left except running and hoping that a solution of some sort would present itself. If kobolds had a god, she might even have prayed to him.

She paused at an intersection. That infernal laugh poured from the shadows to confuse her.

"The witch is everywhere," whispered Sir Thedeus.

"She can't be everywhere," said Echo.

Silence.

"Did we lose her?" asked Echo.

A new chuckle filled the air. Madly jovial, broken by hiccups.

"Dan." Sir Thedeus's large ears pivoted to find the source.

The skeleton was even more dangerous than Tiama, thought Nessy. The wizardess was hesitant to kill Nessy, but he wouldn't be.

"Neeesssyyyyy." He sang out her name again and again. "Neeeesssyyyyy. *Hic*"

"He's over there," said Echo, although she couldn't clarify her direction with any sort of gesture, so the remark was useless.

A door flew open and Dan came charging out. He had a strange run, legs spread wide, arms flailing in the air. And that peculiar hiccuping cackle.

Nessy dashed away. She didn't look back, but slowly, the click of his bones against stone faded. She stopped to catch her breath.

Tiama appeared. Whether she'd actually sneaked up on them or just appeared, Nessy couldn't say. She soared forward. Her entire body was aflame, rippling with black fire, and she howled like a specter.

Nessy ran again, and soon enough, the wizardess was lost somewhere in the chase until only the threatening silence remained. Over and over, the ritual repeated itself.
Tiama or Dan would chase Nessy a short while, only to fade into the shadows and reappear once again.

The nurgax whined.

"Why don't they get it over with?" asked Sir Thedeus.

Nessy knew why. Kobolds weren't strangers to the art of harrying, of chasing down prey until it was so exhausted and disoriented that it might blunder into a vulnerable position. They were trying to confuse her.

But though her body ached and she was a bit tired, she knew her castle. She was now in the pillar chamber, large and lined with thick marble columns. There were two doors out of it.

She opened one. Dan stood on the other side. He lunged at her, and though he should've caught her easily, she managed to slip from his strangling embrace. She threw open the second door, back the way she'd come. Tiama stood, somber-faced and eyes aflame, in the doorway. There was no escape now.

Tiama and Dan stood side by side. They were working together, and Nessy wondered what purpose could bring them together.

"Nessy, look," said Echo. "There's an exit behind us."

Nessy chided herself for making such an obvious mistake. She should've known her castle better. She dashed to it. Tiama and Dan strolled after her, as if they had all the time in the world.

The door was barred, and Nessy struggled to lift the wooden plank. It seemed as heavy as iron.

"Hurry, lass," urged Sir Thedeus.

She stopped.

"What are ye doing?"

She stepped back. "This door doesn't belong here."

He glanced back at their pursuers, drawing steadily closer. "Now isn't the time to be questioning any bit of good fortune that comes our way, lass."

It seemed the perfect time to Nessy. This was exactly what Tiama and Dan had worked so very hard to do, and they had almost succeeded.

"I know what you are," she said.

The Door growled as it cast away its illusion.

Nessy turned her back to it and faced the wizardess and the skeleton. "I'm not opening it." Her exhaustion fell aside, replaced by a quiet resolve. "I'm never opening it."

Dan chuckled. "I told you she wouldn't be tricked so easily."

The Door moaned.

"She's got a good head on her shoulders. Best thing to do in ol' Dan's opinion is to squeeze that little neck until it pops off."