Too Soon For Love (28 page)

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Authors: Kimberly Gardner

Tags: #MLR Press; ISBN 978-1-60820-300-0

BOOK: Too Soon For Love
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You were lucky to have him for as long as you did, lucky that he loved you the way he did.”

He was lucky, Michael reflected as he closed his bedroom door.

He was luckier than most to have found Phillip and experienced that kind of love even for a short time. A lot of people never had that. Which was why losing him hurt so fucking much.

Falling on his bed fully dressed, Michael buried his face in Phillip’s pillow and wept.

ChAPteR nineteen

Alan’s phone rang while he was still in the car. Fumbling on the passenger seat next to him, he open the phone and held it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“It’s me,” Tommy said. “Where are you?”

“On my way to a friend’s place. I’m going to help him with some stuff.”

Tommy chuckled. “You’re such a good soul, bro. Guess that makes me the evil twin, huh?”

“I didn’t realize there was any doubt on that score.” Alan slowed for a stop sign but didn’t fully stop before cruising through the four-way stop.

“Are you at least going to get laid for your good services?”

“Nope. This one is purely out of the goodness of my heart.”

“Too bad. Who’s the friend? Anybody I know?”

“It’s the guy whose laptop you fixed a while back.”

“Yeah? The one whose dead partner was screwing around?

Did you tell him about the pictures?”

“No.”

“Dude…”

“Look, Tom, I don’t want—”

“Okay, okay. That’s not why I called, to act as your conscience, though it’s sort of a novel experience.”

“Why did you call then?”

“I got your text about the vet. So when can I meet him?”

“I thought you were in love with what’s-his-name.”

“Who? And when did I say that?”

“The day we moved your shit in. Did he break your heart
230 Kimberly Gardner

already?”

“Oh, him. He’s old dick. I am so over him. I want to meet the hottie vet.”

Alan laughed. “Well, Oscar has an appointment tomorrow morning. I can mention you again, if you want.”

“How about if I just come with you?”

Alan made the turn into Michael’s driveway. “That would be weird. Listen, I have to go. I’m here and I have to get out of the car.”

Tommy sighed dramatically. “Fine, just keep holding out on me. But I’m not going to beg you.”

“Yes, you will. Eventually. Bye, Tom.” Alan closed the phone on the sound of his twin’s laughter.

As he got out of his car, Alan tried not to grit his teeth at the sight of the maroon Jeep sitting in Michael’s driveway like it had every right to be there. Which, of course, it did not.

No thanks to you
, a little voice in Alan’s head chided. That voice sounded suspiciously like Tommy. As he mounted the porch steps Alan turned the imaginary volume knob way, way down on that voice.

It was true that Michael needed to know what the score was where Robby was concerned. But even if Alan didn’t grow some balls and tell him, he had a feeling that these mysterious payments to a property management company did not bode well for Phillip’s little secret. It might have nothing to do with Robby, or it might have everything to do with him. Either way, Alan’s gut told him it wouldn’t be a fun surprise, which was why he hadn’t wanted Michael to be alone when he found out what the deal was, assuming they would even find out tonight.

It was Robby, not Michael, who opened the door. Talk about surprises. He was barefoot, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and he looked far too at home for Alan’s taste.

“Hey, Alan. C’mon in. Michael’s on the phone. He asked me to let you in.”

too soon FoR Love
231

“Thanks.” Alan stepped inside. He heard the coolness in his tone and deliberately pasted on a smile. If Michael wanted this man in his home, he would at least be cordial to him, before he—

No, he would be cordial. He would.

They stood together in the foyer, an awkward silence settling between them. Robby turned and walked into the living room, leaving Alan where he stood.

The little prick.

Deliberately, Alan went into the study. The laptop hummed quietly on the desk, the screen saver showing that funny fireworks pattern that always made him feel like he’d dropped some particularly potent acid, not that he would know what that was like, but still.

Alan walked over to the laptop and hit the enter key. The password prompt appeared and, on a hunch, he typed in password. The computer unlocked and a picture appeared on the screen. It showed Phillip and Robby, both naked, engaged in mid fuck.

Holy shit.

Alan stared at the figures on the screen. He hadn’t seen this picture before, but then he hadn’t looked at all the pictures on the laptop, not wanting to know the extent of Phillip’s extracurricular activities.

“Hey, what are you doing there?” Robby was beside him in an instant, reaching for the laptop. He tried to close the screen, but Alan blocked him. “That’s private. You have no business—”

“Oh, I think you’re the one with no business, asshole.” Alan blocked the laptop with his body. “Does Michael know?”

“Know what?”

“About you and Phillip. Did you tell him?”

Robby shrugged. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.

That pic was taken when the three of us were in Mexico. We had a threesome, you know. Fucked each other’s brains out for a whole week. You knew that, right? Michael told you, didn’t he,
232 Kimberly Gardner

how we knew each other?”

For a moment, a thread of doubt slithered its way through his certainty. But then Alan reminded himself of the letter. No, this kid was a lying asshole, and he’d do well to remember that.

“If that’s true, about the picture, I mean, then how do you explain the letter?” Alan saw the lie in the young man’s eyes. The little prick was going to pretend not to know what he was talking about. “I saw the letter, Robby, the one you wrote to Phillip, asking for his forgiveness and begging him not to dump you.”

Robby’s eyes widened fractionally, little more than the flicker of his lashes, before his mask slid into place. “So?”

“So, what do you think Michael would have to say about it if he knew?”

“You’re not going to tell him. If you were, you would have already done it.”

“Oh, I’ll tell him, all right. I’ll tell him what a lying little prick--” Alan cut himself off, hearing Michael’s footsteps coming down the stairs. He could see on Robby’s face that he too had heard him.

Robby leaned in, dropping his voice to nearly a whisper. “He fucked me last night, you know. Shoved his dick up my ass and made me come so hard I nearly passed out.”

The words hit Alan like a punch to the chest. Oh, he wanted it to be a lie, wanted to dismiss it out of hand, but somehow he just couldn’t manage it.

Robby smiled, clearly knowing he’d struck home with that last jab.

The two of them stood there in silence, tension humming between them, as Michael approached.

He came into the room and paused, clearly listening. “Alan?”

“Yeah, Michael, hi.”

“Where’s Robby?”

“I’m right here.”

too soon FoR Love
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“Oh. Something the matter? Did I interrupt … something?”

“No,” Robby said.

“Not at all,” Alan said just as quickly.

Michael frowned. Obviously, his bullshit meter was on its highest sensitivity setting.

“Can I get you anything, Alan? You want a beer or some wine before we get started?”

“No thanks. I have to work tonight.”

“Could you grab me a beer, Michael?” Robby asked.

“I thought you were going out.”

“I changed my mind. I think I’m going to just hang out here with you guys, if that’s all right?”

“We’re going to be doing some paperwork. I’m afraid we won’t be very good company.”

“I don’t mind. You don’t have to entertain me. I’ll just sit here and—”

“Actually, Robby, it’s kind of personal business, bank stuff and some other things. I don’t mean to throw you out or anything…”

But that was exactly what he was doing, and Alan could see Robby knew it too. He tried not to feel smug satisfaction—that was so unattractive—but what the hell, the asshole so deserved it.

“Okay. Sure. No problem.” Like the snake that he was, Robby slithered to the door and paused. “Is it okay if I hang out in the living room?”

“Of course it’s okay.” An expression crossed Michael’s face and for a moment Alan was afraid he might change his mind and let Robby stay. He held his breath but the moment and the expression passed without further comment from Michael.

“I’ll get the beer myself, Michael,” Robby said. “You want the door shut?”

“Please. Thanks, Robby.”

234 Kimberly Gardner

Just before the door closed, Robby shot a look over his shoulder.

He hates me
, Alan thought. He tried to care and couldn’t, in fact he was glad.

Sliding his dark glasses off, Michael set them on the desk then rubbed at his temple.

“Headache?”

“A little, maybe. It’s been sort of hanging around the edges all day.” Michael blew out a breath. “Did Robby look pissed when he left?”

Oh, hell yes.

“I don’t know that pissed is the right word.” Not knowing why he did it, and not wanting to analyze too hard, Alan walked over and stood behind Michael’s chair. He rested his hands on Michael’s slim shoulders and began to rub slow circles over the tension filled tendons. They felt tight and, after a brief hesitation, Alan dug the heels of his hands in and began working at the kinks.

“Ah.” Michael stretched his neck, turning his head from side to side as Alan worked. “That feels good.”

It felt damn good to Alan too. The heat from Michael’s skin reached him through the shirt. Silky dark hair slid over Alan’s hands as he massaged the other man’s neck.

He could go on touching this man forever, just like this. Or not exactly just like this, because he wanted to touch and be touched by Michael a hell of a lot more. Except Michael was fucking Robby.

God, how the fuck had he let that happen?

“Where did you learn to do that?” Michael leaned into Alan’s hands. He bent his head forward, exposing the back of his neck, the place where the skin looked so soft and so kissable.

Alan wanted more than anything to bend down and brush his lips over that patch of bared skin, maybe bite it and see if Michael was as sensitive right there as he was. But he satisfied too soon FoR Love
235

himself with pressing his thumbs in the sides of Michael’s neck and rubbing small circles.

“I took a class once where they taught the basics of massage.

And I know a little from school. Not much, but a little.”

“Well, whatever you know, it sure feels good to me.”

Alan slid his fingers into Michael’s hair and massaged his scalp.

Michael groaned, the sound going straight to Alan’s crotch.

He closed his eyes against the desire to slip his arms around the man and beg for Michael to tell him that it wasn’t true, that he wasn’t sleeping with Robby.

“Alan?”

“Hmm?”

“Why don’t you like Robby?”

Alan’s hands stilled. He opened his eyes, his gaze lifting to the screen of the laptop. The image of Robby and Philip was gone, replaced by the fireworks screen-saver. He should tell Michael right now, just confess everything, about the pictures, about the letter, about what Robby had said to him not ten minutes earlier.

“What makes you think I don’t like him?”

“It’s pretty obvious, even to a blind guy, that there’s no love lost between the two of you. When I came in just now the tension in the air was so thick it could have choked a horse.”

“I don’t really know him, but I don’t think we have that much in common.”

“You haven’t really given him a chance. If you took the time and got to know him, I think you’d see that he’s a nice guy.”

Oh yeah, a nice guy who fucks other people’s boyfriends.

Tommy’s words came back to Alan. What if he finds out another way? Then what will you say to him?

Alan took a breath. “Michael, there’s something you need to—”

236 Kimberly Gardner

“Robby thinks maybe you might be a little jealous. I told him that was ridiculous.” Michael laughed, maybe to show how ridiculous he thought it was. “It is ridiculous, right, Alan?”

“Jealous? Of what?”

Michael shrugged. “Of him, I guess. Of our friendship. I don’t know. He has this weird idea that you want to keep me all to yourself or something.”

“Are you fucking him? Because that’s what he said. Right before you came in, he said you fucked him last night. That was the tension you sensed.”

Alan’s heart thundered in his chest. Under his hands, Michael stiffened. It was all the answer Alan needed.

The hurt was out of all proportion, like someone had ripped his heart out, like Michael had ripped it out. What the hell happened to not being ready?

“He told you that?” Michael twisted around to face him, his expression for once unreadable.

“Yes, he told me that. Is it true?”

God, how had he lost every last shred of his pride? He really did sound jealous, and pathetic with it.

“Why does it matter, Alan?”

Because I’m in love with you.

“I guess it really doesn’t, not to me. But there really is something you need to know, Michael.”

Michael heard the strain in Alan’s voice. His gut clenched.

He was not going to like whatever Alan was about to tell him. “I don’t think I want to hear this, do I?”

“Probably not, but you need to hear it.”

Michael took a breath. “Okay.”

“Robby and Phillip were fucking.”

“What the hell are you talking about? That’s ridiculous.”

too soon FoR Love
237

“I’m talking about Phillip, your partner, and Robby, your new best friend. They were fucking behind your back.”

“I don’t believe it.”

Don’t want to believe it. Refused to believe it.

“It’s true, whether you believe it or not.”

“How do you know? You hardly know Robby, and you didn’t know Phillip at all.”

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