Torn (Jay Gunner, #1) (10 page)

Joy grabbed my hair and pulled me close, “Don’t waste time. Kiss me.”

I kissed her neck working my way to luscious waiting lips. My mouth found hers and bodies merged in a dance of passion. My hand squeezed her breast, thumb rubbing the stiff enlarged nipple.

Joy guided my hand to her wetness. She moaned in pleasure as I inserted two fingers between moist folds and rotated thumb around the clit. She arched back and spread legs, her wetness increasing and filling me with desire.

She rolled on top guiding my hard member to her folds, and then moving hips forward and thrusting down until I buried inside. I submitted to a wave of pleasure as she went into rhythmic motion. 

She panted, “Grab my ass. Pull me tight.”

I followed orders, saying nothing, letting her take control. I fought my excitement. Not yet, Not yet. I felt the tightening around my shaft. Joy’s beautiful face contorted now, as she neared climax. Just a few more strokes. I felt Joy’s body tremble as orgasmic waves pulsed through her. I joined in her celebration of one of life's greatest treasures. She collapsed on top, with me still inside.

I kissed her on the cheek. “That was one hell of a quick one. What a great way to start the day.”

Joy was still panting. She’d done most of the work. ”Hold me Jay. A few minutes more.”

“I’ve never let you go. I’m all yours.”

“Wish that were true lover. I’m trying my best to be cool about Amanda but can’t control my feelings. I want you for myself.”

“Joy, I can’t just dump Amanda. Not after living with her for eighteen months.“

“I know it’s difficult. But being the other women is starting to trouble me. It’s your fault. You say you love me, and then run back to Amanda. How do you think I feel?”

“Please give me some time. I know it’s difficult, unfair and selfish. I didn’t know I could love two women. But I do. I think I love you more.”

“Jay, that’s easy for you to say, but hard for me to accept. You still live with Amanda. How long can I accept that?”

“We’ll work it out. For now we have to get ready for work. We better arrive at different times. Hope no one notices we haven’t changed clothes from yesterday.” 

“I’ve got news for you. In a small office like ours, it’s impossible to keep office romance secret. I bet everyone knows.”

Joy took a taxi to the office. I walked to the Star Ferry docks and within minutes was across the harbor. The short ride was over too soon. I thought of Joy’s morning comments without coming to any solution. I needed to get away and think things through. I felt trapped in a web of my own making.

I didn’t like the web of deceit I’d spun. Harboring secret computer files could land me in prison. I wanted to destroy them, but something held me back. Americans had a right to know the extent of government spying. But I wondered if I had the courage to step forward.

Then there was Amanda. She’d been a good companion. One I was proud to be with. Now I was fucking Joy behind her back. She was a smart girl and in time would find out. Even now she was suspicious. What should I do? For different reasons, I loved Joy and I loved Amanda. No way I could be honest and tell Amanda that. I’d lose her for sure if I made such a confession. I had to be sure: Amanda or Joy?

“Good morning, Jay.”

Cindy, the receptionist, was always cheerful. I wondered if she knew. As planned, Joy beat me to the office and was at her desk, taking in the morning news. I soon became lost in another trading day. It was 10:30 before I knew it.

The intercom rang. Cindy’s cheerful voice announced, “Jay, Mr. Cooper says he needs to speak with you. “

I cringed, but picked up the phone. I tried to speak without disclosing the lump in my throat. “Hello Agent Cooper. What’s this all about?”

“Hello Mr. Gunner. I heard you and your assistant had an interesting night. Your life in Hong Kong has become quite exciting.”

“I don’t know what you’re heard, but yes, we had to defend ourselves. How did you know?”

Mr. Gunner we’re the FBI. We have our sources.”

“I’m sure you do. How may I help?”

“Think hard about what you’ve told us so far. Perhaps you’ve left something out. Seems quite a coincidence within a few days you were robbed. Then you’re involved in a kidnapping attempt. Just saying.”

“It was bad luck, nothing more.” As I spoke I visualized myself handcuffed and led away. This was becoming worse.

“Be sure you tell us everything. Being honest makes life easier. Remember your government doesn’t accept lies. You have my cell phone number. Call me anytime night or day.”

“If I think of something new, I’ll do that. Now please excuse me. I’m behind on my work.”

Joy overheard part of the conversation. She only had to look at my pale face to know something was wrong. “Don’t tell me it’s the FBI again. Jay whatever those guys are after, let them have it. Don’t be foolish and risk your good life.”

“It’s complicated Joy. I’m not even sure what they want.” I felt like a real creep. Once I started lying the lies seemed to multiply.

If she knew mom would discipline me.

I
spent Tuesday afternoon more concerned about my love life and hidden computer files than trading markets. Joy was quick to notice my lack of trading interest and activity.

“C’mon man. What’s the problem? I’m giving you time to think things through. I’m not going to trouble Amanda with our little secret.”

“That’s only part of it. The call from the FBI agent bugs me more. If I cooperate, I’ll be in big trouble. Maybe prison time.”

Joy pulled her chair close. “That’s hard to believe. Cooperation should help you. Unless you’ve done something wrong.”

“That’s the problem.”

“Oh Jay, what crazy thing have you done? I wondered about the apartment break in and attempted kidnapping. I hoped they were just a coincidence.”

“It’s more than that.”

“Jeez. You did something with Brian didn’t you? I warned you about that man.”

“At the time it seemed safe. Now I wish I’d never heard of the guy.”

“Whoa now, mister. Don’t blame me. When I was dating Brian, I only made the introduction. You’re the man who wanted to do business. After I stopped dating him, I warned you seeing that guy would lead to trouble.”

“I only blame myself. Don’t think for a minute I blame you.”

Joy gave me one of her looks. I knew she didn’t care for my foolishness. “So let me get this straight. If you cooperate with the FBI you’re in deep trouble. And if you don’t cooperate?”

I answered Joy. “Either way I’m in trouble. I feel like the FBI is closing in. And someone else wants those computer files. My life may be in danger.”

Joy’s eyes widened in horror. “Computer files? Don’t tell me Brian passed top secret NSA files to you.”

“It’s worse than that. He passed NSA top secret files and information hacked from the Department of Labor database.”

“So that explains your strong feelings on unemployment report day. Wow! Why can’t you just delete the files?” 

“Because, even when deleted the FBI or any expert could recover them off the hard drive. I’ve thought of destroying the hard drive, but that would mean destroying Brian’s stolen NSA files. American’s have a right to know they’re spied on. I can’t bring myself to destroy those files on the hard drive, and yet I’m terrified to go public.”

“Jay, as your friend and sometimes lover, my advice is to get rid of that computer and all the files. It’s not worth risking your life over or going to prison. I’m not the kind of girl who can accept waiting around for years while you’re serving a prison term. I don’t think Amanda is either.”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m sure of only one thing. I would hate to lose you.”

“Then destroy those files. Do it before they destroy you, and destroy any dreams we have of being together.” 

“I hear you. It just seems wrong to stay quiet about the spying. Brian told me he would be off the grid.”

Joy was becoming upset. She couldn’t believe I was thinking about becoming a whistleblower and going public. “I told you Brian was a smart man. He’s decided to keep his mouth shut and go underground. If you want to keep your sweet life you’d better do the same.”

“Listen to me. Certain parties, including the FBI, think I have top secret NSA files. Even if I deep six the computer they’re going to keep thinking that. I’m screwed no matter what.”

A
manda looked worried and said, “Jay, I’m nervous. What’s going on? At the airport, I bumped into one of my girlfriends. She said you’d made the news. She had a crazy story that you killed two Chinese men who tried to kidnap you. Is that true?”

“Amanda, I’m afraid it is. I didn’t know the incident made the news. What else did you hear?”

“Noi told me you were almost kidnaped. And you weren’t alone. Joy was with you. The attack happened at the entrance to The Icon Hotel. What were you doing there?”

“We had a meeting with a client. At least we planned to. We ended up spending a couple hours at a police station.”

“I don’t like it. Going to hotels with Joy is bad enough. Having our home broken into is horrible. Now I don’t feel safe here. Please tell me what’s going on. What kind of trouble are you in? Did you do something with Brian Andrews?”

I felt like the roof was caving in. How could I work my way out of this? I was nervous too. Someone wanted those computer files. How far would they go to get them? Was it safe to stay in the condo? If they could break in once, I couldn’t depend on building security to keep them out.

Damn, I’m so screwed. I don’t even know who “they” are.

I said, “Amanda, we should drop out of sight for a while.”

Amanda wasn’t pleased. “You’re crazy. How can I work while dropping out of sight? You know how hard I’ve worked to move up to the first class cabin. I can’t give that up, even for you.”

“I don’t think staying here is safe.”

“Jay Gunner, I love you, but not more than life. I don’t see how we can stay together. I need stability in my life. I’m too nervous in this condo and I can’t imagine dropping out of sight, moving from place to place, and hiding from who knows who. I just can’t do it.”

“I understand. I know you’re frightened. So am I. With the break-in staying in the condo is uncomfortable. And when I don’t know where to go, it’s ridiculous to ask you to go with me. Where will you go?”

“Jay, I don’t know. Even if I did, I don’t think it wise to tell you. A clean break would be best.”

“I hate this. Maybe we can just get away from Hong Kong for a while.”

Amanda said, “People are after you. No matter where you go they’ll be searching for you. Jay, I’m not the hero type. I’m afraid to be around you. I’m so nervous.”

I felt awful as I said, “I’m sorry. My greed is the cause of this. I had a good life, but wanted more. I should’ve been satisfied with what I had.”

Amanda looked sad. She looked like she would miss me. “It’s too late now. You can’t change the past. I hope you work out of your troubles. But I can’t help you. I’ll pack tonight and move out in the morning. I’ll sleep on the sofa tonight. I don’t trust myself in your bed.”

A
s soon as I arrived at the office, I said to Joy, “I have to go into hiding, maybe for a long time. Care to join me?”

“What about Amanda? I’m not into a menage a trois action. It would confuse me.”

“Amanda is leaving me.”

“I’m not surprised. Shows how smart she is. Wish I was as smart.”

“That hurts. I could use some support.”

“I don’t know why, but you have it. My stupid heart flutters every time I see you.” 

“I may have to leave Hong Kong.”

Joy wasn’t surprised and said, “When people are trying to kill you that’s a good idea. You know Hong Kong is such a small place. You’re easy to track down here. Maybe you should make a complete change. I know you have enough money to live well. After settling in somewhere, you could trade your own account.”

“Assuming I find a safe place to settle down. Would you help me?”

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on where you’re safe, and if you care for me enough. If I were you, I’d give the FBI what they want. Work out a deal. Then leave town. Why take the chance bad guys think you’re still hiding secrets? If you decide on Bali you might persuade me to go with you.”

“Joy please, be reasonable. Trading from Bali would be tough. We’ll take up windsurfing and stuff ourselves with seafood, not look at computer monitors all day and night.”

Joy said, “Who said anything about trading from Bali? A month or two relaxing in Bali would give us time to decide where to go. We deserve a vacation. So what about it? Are you ready to become a beach bum?”

I couldn’t decide what to do. It was a long week at work. I felt bad about Amanda. I’d lived with her for 18 months. While everything wasn’t perfect we’d had many good times together. I missed her.

Friday evening, I told Joy I wasn’t feeling well, and then went straight home. I wasn’t lying. I felt like a real louse. Amanda deserved better treatment. My actions had put her in danger. No wonder she moved out.

I entered the living room and had the shock of my life. Amanda jumped off the sofa, ran to me, and gave me a hug.

“Jay, I missed you too much. After staying with Noi this week, I packed my things and here I am. Yesterday I visited mom. After talking it over I realized I didn’t want to leave you. I’m nervous about security, but will get over it. I thought I’d surprise you. Is it Ok?”

I said, “I feel better seeing you. All week I’ve felt terrible. I dreaded coming home knowing you wouldn’t be here. Of course, it’s Ok.”

There was no good way out of my personal dilemma. Once Joy learned Amanda moved back in, she would flip out. Joy was keen on going to Bali.

Worrying how to best handle my relationship with Amanda and Joy was the main reason I felt lousy all week.  I wanted them both, and loved most the one I was with at the time.

Agent Cooper called Friday afternoon. His call ended my week on a sour note. He said I’d been upgraded to a person of interest in the FBI investigation of missing government property. Until further notice, without his permission, I was forbidden to travel out of Hong Kong.