Torn to Pieces (The Boys of DownCrash #2) (new adult contemporary romance / rockstar romance) (21 page)

Knowing I was alone and safe, at least for the time being, I made coffee and ate something, lost in thought and confused in life.  I had planned by then to have Derreck gone.  Even if it didn’t end well, I’d have that burden off my shoulders.

Right on cue, as if I needed more to think about, my phone rang with a text message from Tatum.

I miss you.

I let out a cry that nobody heard but me and wrote back.

I miss you.  How did your night end? Logan told me...

I waited for the next message as I finished my coffee.  It didn’t have the same taste it would have earlier in the morning or without the stress of Derreck wrapped around me.  I dumped it and went for the bathroom.  I needed a shower to get the day moving. 

I had the water on when Tatum texted back.

It went okay. I was honest, she wasn’t happy. I don’t care. I want you. Right now. Come over.

My lips quivered and I stood wearing only a bathrobe in the small bathroom.  I opened the robe and dropped it, gazing upon my own body, imagining Tatum touching me.  Imagining his lips - his lip ring - touching all the right spots.  Forever.

I moaned as my toes curled. 

The combination of temptation and desire was lethal.

Where are you?

I wrote it, sent it, and knew it was going to end in trouble.  Good trouble, but still trouble. But I couldn’t handle it anymore.  I couldn’t be in prison.  I stepped into the shower and let the hot water caress my body.  Just knowing I’d be free of Derreck and in Tatum’s arms again changed the way the water felt.  How it touched me, how it ran down my body.  The steam collecting around me.  It was warm, comforting, just like Tatum.  I heard my phone go off again and I didn’t check it until I was done showering.  It was just another message from Tatum, letting me know he was at the garage. 

I’d get to see another DownCrash band practice. 

Worked for me.

I hurried to get ready and considered leaving Derreck a note.  But that would be cheap, wouldn’t it?  I couldn’t leave Derreck a note to break everything off with him.  He wouldn’t have left anyway.  He would have stayed until I got back.  At least this way, I could go see Tatum, fill myself with the needed confidence to end it all, then come back and wait for Derreck.  I’d give him the chance to shower and leave.  He’d be tired from work, beat up from drinking the night before, and with those two together nothing could stop me.

When I got to garage I knocked once and then opened the door.  A familiar smell of sweat and man hit me and I smiled.  The last time I was in the garage was when Scarlett’s friend Andy threw a fit about she and Tripp together.  That night ended with Tatum punching Andy and me starting to fall for Tatum. 

Logan messed around with a bass and when he saw me, he stopped.  “How’s your friend?”

My face dropped.

Oh, shit.

I forgot to text Annie back the night before.

“You never texted her,” Logan said.  “Some friend you are.”

“Who’s Annie?” Tatum asked.

“Maggie’s hot friend,” Logan said.

“Hot friend?” Tripp asked, looking up from a notebook.

“Asshole,” Scarlett yelled and threw a pillow at him.  She turned her attention to me.  “Is Annie your friend from high school?”

“Yeah.  She texted me last night when I was with Logan.”

“When you what?” Tatum asked.

“She asked for a ride,” Logan said.  He hit a few notes on the bass.  “So... I... gave her a fast ride home.”

Tatum looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“He was right there for me,” I teased.

“Really?”

“Don’t worry, I took good care of her,” Logan said.

“Fuck you,” Tatum said.

I saw the jealousy and I had to laugh.  I never saw Logan open up like this before and I never saw Tatum get so worked up. 

“Wow, he’s easy to crack,” Logan said.  “He must really like you, Maggie.”

“More like love her,” Tripp called out.

“Okay.  Practice is over,” Tatum said.  “Everyone... out.”

Tripp looked at Tatum.  “I live here.  I own the place.”

“You live in the house, so go there.”

Tripp stood and closed his notebook. 

I guess I wasn’t going to get to see a DownCrash practice after all. 

Logan unplugged his bass and put it away.  Tripp went to Scarlett and they embraced each other like two love stricken kids, Scarlett on her toes, her hands around Tripp’s neck.  Kissing like crazy. 

“Get a room,” Tatum called out.

“Good idea,” Tripp said.

I looked at Scarlett and smiled.  She was blushing but I understood it.  How that touch felt, how that embrace felt, how it all felt.  To be wrapped up and lost in love.

“Make sure you text your hot friend soon,” Logan said.  “In case she’s in trouble.”

“Worried so much, huh?” I asked.

“Well, I hate to see a pretty girl in need.”  Logan looked at Tatum and raised an eyebrow.  “That’s why I gave you ride home last night, Maggie.”

Tatum lifted a drumstick, ready to throw it.  “Dude...”

“I’m out,” Logan said and finally left.

I looked back at Tatum.  “I never heard Logan talk so much before.”

“Well, he got a good news phone call yesterday, before the show.”

“Oh yeah?”

Tatum nodded.  “His grandfather beat cancer.”

I looked back to the closed door.  “Wow.  I had no idea.”

“He didn’t talk about it too much,” Tatum said.  “It was scary for a little while there with the chemo treatments and all that.  Logan’s grandfather is an important man to Logan, and to the band.”

“Wow,” I whispered again. 

“Yeah.  So tell me about this ride home last night...”

“Well,” I said.  “I asked Logan to help me.  And he did.  Took me home.  Kissed me.  Felt me up.  He’s aggressive.”

Tatum dropped his drumsticks and his lip started to curl.  “What the fuck...?”

“I’m kidding,” I said.  “I had no way home last night.”

“You didn’t?”

I shook my head.  “Derreck had a car, I didn’t.”

“And he was drinking?  And he made you leave?”

I nodded.  “I figured I’d walk home.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?  Christ, I would have taken you home.”

“What about Carrie?”

“Who cares?” Tatum bellowed.  “I would have taken care of it.”

“Okay.  Tatum, relax.  I saw Logan and he drove me home.”

“I don’t care.  Something could have happened to you.  What if... Danny or someone showed up?  Or someone followed you home...”

I walked to Tatum and wrapped my arms around him.  I squeezed him as tight as I could, listening to his heart race, feeling the hard skin of his muscles.  I took a deep breath, inhaling everything about him. 

“I’m fine,” I said.  “I made it home and I’m fine.”

I looked up at Tatum as he looked at me. “Did Derreck come home?”

I nodded, ready to face the uncomfortable subject.  “He passed out on the floor and puked.”

“So he didn’t try touching you?”

“No.”

“Did you talk to him?”

I froze for a second and swallowed.  “I’m so sorry, Tatum.”

“What happened?”

“When I woke up, Derreck was gone.  I forgot he had work.  Even still I didn’t think he’d wake up and go to work.  But he did.”

Tatum growled and then touched my hair.  “It’s okay.  You’ll talk to him.  I thought about it too.  I want to be there when you do it.  Just in case.”

“No,” I said.  “That’ll make it so much worse...”

“Good.  Maybe it’ll get the message across then.  Maybe he’ll understand that this is not some fucking high school game anymore.”  Tatum held something back.  He bit on his lip ring hard and watched it pull as though he was going to tear it out.

“What else did you have to say?” I whispered.

“Nothing,” he said.  “Nothing.  Just...”

“Tell me.”

“How could it happen?  How could you let it happen?”

My hands opened and I stepped back.  The pain that shot through me was hard to explain.  Like a shot of truth and betrayal all in one question.

“I’m sorry,” Tatum said.  “I shouldn’t have said it.”

“This is all my fault, like I said before,” I said.  “That’s why I told you to leave.  So you didn’t have to deal with this.  With me.”

“But I want to deal with you,” Tatum said.  “I want you today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.  I just want you to be strong and understand how much you’re worth.  I don’t want you to get lost in rumors and fucking promises.”

I swallowed.  “He scares me, okay?  And it’s a fear that started when I was younger.  When my mother remarried, I felt abandoned.  He was there.  He promised me...”

“Fine,” Tatum said.  “Fine.  I get that.  But now I’m promising you this, Maggie.”  Tatum put his hands around my waist and pulled me to him.  “I’m going to make sure he’s gone.  All promises are going to be shattered because they weren’t real promises.”

“What if he doesn’t leave?”

“We call the cops,” Tatum said.  “It’s your apartment.”

“And if he comes back?”

“He doesn’t know where I live.  You stay with me until it blows over.  Nothing will happen to you.”

I put my face into Tatum’s chest and groaned.  “I’m sorry I got you into this.”

“You didn’t get me into a thing.  I’d chase you across the world if it meant proving to you how much I care.  Just because some punk from high school shows up doesn’t mean you should give up the rest of your life, okay?”

I nodded.  “Okay.”

“Promise?” Tatum teased.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

“I know.”

I moved to my toes and forced my lips to Tatum’s.  As we kissed, I pushed at him, wanting him, to take me somewhere, anywhere, and just have me.  When Tatum broke the kiss I saw him look around the garage, breathing heavily, looking for a spot.

“There,” I whispered and pointed.

Tatum followed my finger and looked back at me confused.  “What?”

“The drum set,” I whispered.  “Do it there.”

“You want me to... on a drum set?”

“Yes.”

“We can’t.  It’ll fall over.”

“Play for me then.”

“Play for you?  What?  A song?”

“Just play drums.”

“Maggie, what the fuck are you doing to me?”  He looked down and I didn’t need to look down to know he was rock hard.  I don’t know what got into me.  Something clicked and I wanted to do something wild.

“Just listen to me,” I said.  “Play the drums.  I want to see you play by yourself.”

“Maggie...”

“I’ll make it worth your time,” I said as I walked to the front of the drums. 

Tatum took his place behind the kit and stood holding a pair of drumsticks. 

“I don’t do private shows, normally,” Tatum said, trying to be sexy.

“Yeah?  Well, you’ll start once you see what I’m going to do to you...”

~21~

Tatum sat and started kicking the bass drum.  He held a steady beat and started slow, adding the snare, finally the hi-hats.  He added fills when needed, hitting the cymbals and tom-toms, from left to right.  I patiently waited to make my move, waiting for Tatum to get lost in the drums.  It didn’t take long before he started focusing on the drums more than me.  That was fine, that’s what I wanted from him.  He started to play faster, adding more beats, more hits, trying different things with the fills, sometimes sounding good, sometimes sounding off speed.  None of it mattered and maybe that was the real fun of it for Tatum.  It wasn’t practice.  It wasn’t a song to perfect.  It wasn’t a concert with paying fans. 

It was just messing around.

I looked over my shoulder and saw the door to the garage remained unlocked.  I thought about locking it, but again, I felt adventurous.  I started to picture Tripp or Logan walking into the garage while Tatum and I did what I had in mind. 

It turned me on as did the sight of sweat forming along Tatum’s hairline. 

I lifted my shirt and took it off, holding it in my right hand.  Tatum missed his snare hit.  His eyes were wide and I smiled.

“Keep going,” I yelled.  “Don’t stop.”

I dropped the shirt to the floor and went for the button on my pants.  I opened my pants and teased Tatum as I slipped a finger into my panties, only feeling the smoothness of my body, but I played it off as though I were touching something much more sensual.  I wiggled my hips as my jeans fell down.  I stepped from them with one foot and kicked with the other.  They hit the bass drum and stopped there.