Torn (Torn Series) (15 page)

“Come again?”

He started chuckling as he pulled away from me.

“I love it, and every time I stare at it I’ll think of you.”

I started laughing, “Um, exactly how often do you stare at your own ass?”

“I don’t normally, but with this little piece of you back there, I might have to do it more often.”

  “Wow, like I said before, you’re such a charmer.”

He grinned as Katelynn came over and covered his new artwork with a bandage.

“You know the drill, leave the bandage on for a couple hours, and put Petroleum Jelly on it a couple times a day for about three days.”

He nodded as he pulled his jeans back up and buttoned them, “Got it. It’s your turn now Chloe, get your butt over there.”

I walked past him and sat down in the chair as Katelynn cleaned up and started setting up for me. After she had everything ready, she applied the outline. I sucked in a deep breath as she powered up her gun and dipped in into the ink.

“You ready?”

I shook my head no and motioned for Drake to come over. He walked over to me and stood on the opposite side from her.

“Will you hold my hand while she does it?”

His eyes went soft and he smiled, “Of course I will.”

He pulled up a chair beside me and sat down as he laced our fingers together. I stared down at our entwined fingers and smiled as she began moving the gun across my skin. I tensed a bit at the stinging before relaxing.

“That’s it?”

She looked up at me and smiled, “That’s it. See, all that worrying for nothing.”

I started to pull my hand away from Drake’s but he stopped me.

“I’m
ok, you don’t have to hold my hand.”

“Well you might decide you need it and it won’t be there. I’ll hold onto you just in case.”

              Katelynn finished mine a lot faster than she did Drakes since there was a lot less detail to it. She applied the bandage and handed me a sheet with aftercare instructions.

“This will explain everything you need to know. If you have any problems, my phone number is on the bottom.”

I stood up and threw my arms around her.

“Thank you so much for this.”

She froze at first, then hugged me back gently.

“You’re very welcome.”

I pulled back and looked at Drake with a huge grin on my face. I walked over to him and threw my arms around his neck as well.

“And thank you for making me do this, I never would have been able to do it by myself.”

He smiled as I pulled back, “Sure thing sunshine. Let me pay her and we can get out of here.”

My eyes widened, “No, you don’t have to pay for it, I’ve got it. Actually, I’ll pay for both, since I made you get one too.”

“I know I don’t have to, I want to,” he turned to Katelynn, “How much do I owe you?”

She shook her head, “Nothing, this one’s on me.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, now get out of here before I change my mind.”

Drake hugged her briefly before putting his hand on the small of my back and leading us out of the shop to his car.

Chapter Ten

Demons

             
Drake took me back to his house where we hung out for the rest of the afternoon, watching TV and talking about school, his band, and anything else we could think of as we sat together on his couch. It felt nice to spend time with him, just the two of us. After a couple hours I asked if I could take my bandage off to look at the tattoo. He nodded and helped me peel it off slowly.

When it was uncovered I felt tears start to sting my eyes. Those two little words represented everything that was my past, all the pain, the fear.

I looked up at Drake through my tears, “Thank you so much, you don’t know what this means to me.”

He raised his hand to my face and
wiped my tears away

“No thanks are necessary, I’m just glad I could do something for you. Will you tell me what it means?”

I looked at him confused, “I already did, it means never loved.”

“I know what the words mean, but I want to know the meaning behind it.”

I looked down at my wrist as my tears started flowing faster, “I told you before that my mother wasn’t the best.”

He nodded as I continued.

“She had me too young, and she resented me for it. She had to grow up to raise me. She managed to stop using drugs while she was pregnant and stayed sober for a while after, but she relapsed and went back to her partying ways. From the time I was little, she would either take me to parties with her and leave me there by myself or she’d just leave me alone at home for days at a time, and when she did come home she was usually stoned or drunk. I tried to stay out of her way, but she’d always find me and she was so angry. She would scream at me about how I ruined everything, how I ruined her life and she wished I was never born. It escalated a few times and she beat me. If she brought a boyfriend home with her, they would usually beat me too. There was this one guy, John, that she brought home when I was thirteen. Instead of beating me like the others, he just sat and watched my mother hit me. I was relieved that he wouldn’t hurt me too. That night, after my mother passed out, he came into my room. He wasn’t drunk or even stoned from what I could tell, but he crawled into bed with me and he started…”I bit back a sob, “He started trying to touch me. I woke up and realized what was happening so I started screaming.”

I stopped and took a deep breath, but he spoke before I could.

“Chloe, did he hurt you? Did he rape you?”

I shook my head, “No, my screams must have woken up my mother and she came to see what was going on. She took one look at us in my bed and started screaming at me, calling me a whore. She didn’t even say anything to him, but he stood up and left as she started beating me. The next morning, she was gone and I didn’t see her for almost six months. I stayed with Amber most of the time while she was gone. When she came back, she seemed better and I hoped that
things would change. Since it was summer, she even asked me to come along with her on her next trip. I spent the next three months with her partying and getting stoned before we ended up at my aunts. We stayed there for over a month before she disappeared again. My aunt helped me get home, and from then on out, I saw her maybe once or twice a year and she has only beat me a few times since then. I pretty much moved in with Amber and her parents, and then I came here to escape her. I never want to see her again, and I’m afraid of what she’d do to me if I did.”

He pulled me into his arms as my body shoo
k with sobs.

“Baby, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. If I had known you then, I would have protected you. You’re far too precious for that.”

I buried my face in his shirt as he spoke.

“Look at me.”

I shook my head no, but he pulled away and cupped my face in his hands, pulling me up so that I was looking at him. His eyes were a mixture of emotions. Anger, worry, sorrow, and last but not least, pity.

“I don’t want your pity Drake.”

He pulled my face to his and kissed me gently, taking me by surprise.

“It’s not pity I’m feeling,
it’s blinding rage. I’d like to kill your mother for what she did to you. Thank you for telling me, I’m glad you know you can trust me.”

I gave a weak smile as he pulled me back to him and kissed me again. Instead of pulling away like before, he deepened the kiss. I felt my body come alive as his tongue slid into my mouth to gently caress my own. Something hard flicked against my teeth and I pulled back.

“Do you have your tongue pierced too?”

He grinned as he stuck his tongue out at me and I noticed a silver barbell.

“Jesus Drake, what don’t you have pierced?”

His grin faded and
his eyes turned dark with lust.

“Why don’t I show you what else I have pierced?”

My eyes widened, “Um, no thanks, I’ll take your word for it.”

He laughed as he leaned in and kissed me again before pulling back and relaxing into the couch.

“What are we doing Chloe?”

“I don’t know
, I was hoping you could tell me.”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “I don’t know either. We’re friends right?”

I nodded. “Yeah we’re friends who apparently kiss each other.”

“I don’t even know how to say this, so I’m just going to get it all out there. I like you Chloe and I’m attracted to you obviously, but I also consider you a friend. I really don’t want to screw that up, and if we take this any further, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I don’t do relationships, but with you, sometimes I want to. Also, deny it all you want, but Logan has
feelings for you. If something is going on between the two of you, I don’t want in the middle of it.”

I nodded as I let his words sink in, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship either, but I do have feelings for you and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that. Is it worth ruining our friendship to take a chance on something that might not work out? And you’re right about Logan having feelings for
me, he told me everything the other night. I don’t know what I want from him, and my head is completely screwed up between the two of you.”

I studied the swirling patterns on the couch as I waited for him to speak. The silence in the room was deafening.

“You should be with Logan. He loves you and he would take care of you. I’m not a good person and I don’t pretend to be. I want you, but I can’t have you,” he said softly.

I nodded as tears welled up in my eyes again, “What if I don’t want him, what if I want you?”

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead, “You can’t have me, not like that anyway.”

I nodded as I stood, “You’re right. We’re great as friends, but anything else would be a disaster. I’m going to head home and take a nap, I’m beat.”

He rose and walked me to the door.

“So I’ll see you later?”

“Of course Drake, we’re friends, this conversation doesn’t change that.”

He kissed me on the cheek as I stepped outside to my car.

              Tears streamed down my face all the way back to the dorm. I knew how Drake was, but hearing it directly from him hurt more than I was willing to admit to myself. I pulled into the parking lot and made my way up the stairs to my room intending to take the world’s longest nap. Logan was standing in front of my door as I reached the top of the stairs.

“Hey, I was just about to knock and see if you wa
nted to get something to eat,” he took one look at me and ran to my side, “What’s wrong? Why have you been crying?”

I shook my head as I raised my arms to wipe my tears away.

He caught my newly tattooed arm and pulled it up to look at it, “What’s this?”

“Nothing, just a reminder of everything.”

“What does it mean Chloe?”

I looked down at my shoes.
“Never loved.”

He pulled me into his arms.

“Oh, baby girl, why do you do this to yourself? You have to let her go, what she did was horrible, but Chloe you are loved. Amber loves you, and so do I.”

He thought my tears were from all the painful memories from my past, and I wasn’t about to correct him. If he knew they had everything to do with the present, with Drake, he would pull away. He leaned down and kissed me gently. I knew I shouldn’t let him, but Drake didn’t want me and Logan did. Drake was
right, Logan would always be there for me, he would take care of me like he had been doing for years.

I kissed him back for a split second before pulling away. “Thanks Logan, I don’t know where I would be without you and Amber. Don’t ever leave me.”

“I wouldn’t leave you, no matter what. Now dry your tears and let’s get some dinner, I’m starving.”

I gave him a weak smile as he led me back down the stairs and out to his car. He made small talk all the way to the restaurant, and he seemed genuinely excited when I told him about my new job.

“That’s great Chloe, I’m glad you found something.”

As we drove, I laughed as he attempted to cheer me up with bad coffee jokes. I felt my heart lighten, being with Logan always felt so right. I watched him as he drove, studying him. He really was beautiful, but in a masculine way. I had always thought so, but now I was seeing him with new eyes. He was such a good person and he already knew everything about my past, knew that I was damaged.

He glanced over and saw me watching him. “What are you looking at?”

I turned my attention to the radio and started flipping channels until I found something good. “Nothing, you’re just
kinda beautiful.”

He laughed, “Um, thanks I think?”

“It was a compliment.”

“Well thanks then, you’re kind of beautiful too.”

I blushed as we pulled up in front of the restaurant.