Torrential

CHAPTER ONE

SEBASTIAN

My name is Sebastian Crane.

I’m not here for the reason you think I am.

The bar is dark with three a.m. smog, the broken dreams and drunken incoherencies almost tangible. I lounge in one corner, shadows keeping me mostly hidden from the idiots falling over each other to argue about which girl belongs to who. I finger the rim of a crystal-clear shot of vodka. When I down it, it barely tickles.

I feel nothing.

I am nothing.

But tonight I’m a little sick of the nothing, so I stand, a deep ache sprouting in several of my muscles. I’ve been practicing too much, I know. But there’s no one to tell me to stop.

There’s a particularly stupid-looking Neanderthal at the table nearest me. He says something filthy to his friends, who slap him clumsily on the back
. They’re all wasted. I’ve had at least as much to drink, but unlike them, it makes me sharper. Electrified.

Read
y to let the burn out—something I can never do when I’m sober.

I stride past the Neanderthal’s table, purposefully letting my elbow jolt his shoulder. The bar’s crowded enough that it could pass unnoticed, and I hold my breath, but he bites.

“The fuck was that?” he growls, spinning around so I get a full view of the viper tattoo curling over his ugly jaw. His friends chuckle, smelling a fight. This guy is wider than me, but not taller. He’s a pickaxe. I’m a broadsword.

“Sorry,” I say smoothly. “
I’m less careful around losers.”

Th
ey pick up the scent immediately—my rich-boy upbringing. It’s obvious in the way I carry myself, the imperious expression I’ve picked up from my father. I don’t try to hide it. It makes them want to hurt me more.

And that’s exactly what I’m looking for.

“Hey, you piece of shit.” Neanderthal stands, jostling the table and knocking over someone else’s shot. Nobody complains. He’s their leader. “Ready to get your pretty face broke in half?”

My mouth twists
into a rare smile. “I’m ready for you to try.”

His first pun
ch comes like a truck, but slow. I sidestep it, smirking at the dumb surprise on his face. I wonder how many teeth that punch has knocked out before. But not mine. His friends are hollering now, but I tone them out. My body is humming with animal rage.

This is the only time I let
myself to feel.

If I hit him the right way he’ll go down in an instant, and I want to draw this out. I strike him once on the chest and once in the shoulder, enough to make it sting, enough to make him angry.

“Motherfucker—” He throws a wild swing.

This time I let him hit me, but I tighten my abs so that the pain, when it comes, is only a dull ache. Still, I relish it. Pain is different when it comes from the outside.

It’s better.

His idiot friends yell their approval. The girls are staring at me with a mixture of desire and fear, an expression I’m very familiar with. And all at once, I’m tired of this. Tired of them.

This won’t save me.

I finish it neatly, delivering a series of lightning blows to his chest and then clipping his temple. He makes an almost ridiculous amount of noise when he crashes to the ground. He’ll be sleeping for a while, and not from the booze.

His friends are dead silent. They’ve realized I’m more than some rich boy in the wrong bar. They’re afraid of me. Not entirely stupid, then. But entirely pathetic.

I curl my lip, kick aside a broken beer bottle, and pull my hood over my head before striding into the night.

The
morning after

MAY

When I step out of the airport terminal, Tanner is waiting for me.

He looks almost
the same as I remember him—almost ridiculously handsome, his face broad and smiling, skin a little darker than before. From the Florida sunlight, I guess. I throw my carry-on to the ground and leap into his arms. He grabs me and swings me around, laughing.

“Your hair!” he crows as soon as he sets me down. “Who’d you let touch you with bleach?”

I finger the ends of my once-mousy brown hair, now streaked with golden highlights. “Shut up. My old roommate did it for me, okay?”

New hair for a new life. That’s what she’d said.

“You look beautiful, May.” A flash of sincerity crosses his face, which is usually devious with some joke or another. There’s warmth there, and I nearly cringe away from it, because it means that the bombshell he dropped on me the day before he left two years ago still holds true—“
I’m in love with you, May.”

A couple girls are gazing at me jealously. They must think he’s my boyfriend. But he’s not, because I’m May Young, and May Young does not have boyfriends.

We grab my suitcases from the luggage pick-up, Tanner making a point not to grunt with the effort even though I know they weigh about a bazillion pounds. Together, we hurry into the bright Florida sunlight.

“Palm tre
es!” I shade my eyes and point. “Tanner, those are palm trees!”

“You dork.” He hefts my bags into his car, which he’s left in the drop-off zone, even though he’s not supposed to. “Only you could get that excited about trees.”

A rush of stupid joy fills me and I hug him again, nearly knocking him into the side of his Toyota. “You know, even when I got accepted it didn’t feel real. But we’re actually going to the same university now. It’ll be just like high school!”

“Yeah, except in high school we couldn’t drink or go to clubs. Legally, anyway.” He flashes me that wolfish smile of his. “Get in. I’m gonna give you the grand tour of campus.”

Rothschild University is only twenty minutes away from the airport, and Tanner drives fast, blasting the radio with the windows rolled down. His muscular arm—he’s been working out—is hooked over the side of the window. I roll down my own window and lean out into the rushing air, so far that Tanner laughs.

It’s been two years since I’ve really seen him, apart from a few scattered days over
breaks. Two years since he got accepted to the prestigious Rothschild University, and I went to New Jersey state so I’d be able to look after my mom, who’s needed looking after ever since my scum-of-the-earth dad walked out on her when I was five. But she promised she’d be all right without me now. Said I needed to start my own life.

When we reach the campus, the first thing I notice is that it’s right on the water. The beach
is glittering, a long strip of sandy perfection glowing in the heat with a few students sprawled out on towels. The water is crystal-blue. I want to dive right in, but Tanner pulls into the parking lot and lines my suitcases up on the sidewalk.

“You’re in
Chatterley Hall, right?” He points to the building nearest the water, and my heart leaps. It’s very new-looking, with lots of windows that face the sea. “Lucky. Their air-conditioning is the best on campus. Be prepared for me to crash in your room every day for the rest of the semester.”

“I have a roommate,” I remind him, picking up the smallest bag, which is the only one he’s left for me to carry.
I laugh at him panting over my three giant suitcases. “Who I’m completely sure is gonna be gorgeous and smart and perfect and I’ll spend the entire semester trying not to die of jealousy.”

“All girls here are generally gorgeous and smart and perfect. I’ve researched it very thoroughly.” He grins
, and I punch him lightly on the arm.

“Perv. I’ll have to protect my new roommate from you if you’re going to be hassling me for my air-conditioning all the time.”

He scoffs. “Ladies never want to be protected from me.”

I slug him one more time, for good measure.

Fortunately, my dorm room is on the bottom floor of the building, so we don’t have to drag my stuff up any stairs. The hall is way nicer than my old school, with new carpeting and a lot less drawings of cocks on the whiteboards—maybe because it’s an all-female hall. I realize I forgot to pick up my key and I knock, hoping my new roommate is home.
Opal
reads the name on the door. Odd name.

Fortunately the door opens.
Opal is a pretty girl, a little taller than me, with messy black hair toppling over her shoulders and a sleepy smile. She’s also in her underwear.

“Why hello there,” says Tanner brightly.

Her eyes widen, and she shrieks and shuts the door. Tanner collapses against the wall, laughing, while I try knocking again. “Sorry! I’m your new roommate. Ignore the gorilla in the hall, he’s mostly harmless.”

There’s some rustling and finally the door opens again,
Opal having miraculously donned pants and brushed her hair in the span of a few seconds. She’s still blushing fiercely red. “S-sure, come in. Sorry it’s a total mess in here. Need help carrying any stuff?”

“No, we brought it all up.
I’m May, by the way.” I smile at her as Tanner drags my things inside. It’s not true that it’s a mess—her side of the room is very neat, papers arranged on her desk and a string of yellow Christmas lights pinned to the wall in a straight line. I’m delighted to see she’s left the bed by the window for me. It has a perfect view of the ocean. I rush to it and throw it wide open, breathing in the salty air.

“That’s it,” I declare. “I officially love it here. Every single thing about this school is perfect.”

“So where are you from?” Opal says, a little shyly, and inches away from Tanner, who’s just plopped down on her bed like he owns the place. That idiot.

And I don’t want to talk about where I’m from. “New Jersey. Hey, I’m really glad to be your roommate. You seem cool and I totally don’t mind if you sleep in your underwear.”

“Now who’s the pervert,” says Tanner, rolling onto his back so that his shirt slides up and reveals a fraction of his abs, probably on purpose. “Opal, meet May. She says pretty much everything that pops into her head.”

I move to drag him off the bed and
throw him out the door before he can say anything else to embarrass me in front of my new roommate, but instead I trip spectacularly over one of my bags and crash across his chest. He locks me in a bear hug and I have to squirm to get free. “She’s also the biggest klutz in the universe.”

“Bye,
Opal, we’re gonna go take a tour of campus and I’ll see you later,” I say hastily, seizing his hand and hauling him into the hallway. Once we’re there, I kick him.

“Still as mild-mannered as ever,” he says ruefully, rubbing his shin.

“Could you just keep your fat mouth shut for like two minutes? I have to live with this girl for the rest of the year and I’d rather she not figure out straightaway that I’m a complete—”

He frowns. “Don’t. There’s nothing wrong with you. Look, I’m sure she thinks you’re awesome. And if not, I’ll bring some booze over tonight and then she’ll definitely think you’re awesome because you have such a hot, booze-bringing friend. Now come on, let’s actually take a tour of campus.”

I sigh, a little relieved. I was worried things would be awkward with Tanner after two whole years of hardly seeing each other, but he seems just as ready as I am to settle into our old friendship. So far, he hasn’t even said anything about the
I love you
he gave me the last time we were together, and I’m grateful. Every time I think of it, I’m overwhelmed with embarrassment—and guilt.

“
Are you spacing out? Because I have places to show you.” Tanner hangs against the wall at the end of the hallway, tapping his foot.

I grin my brightest and bound after him. “Show away!”

The rest of campus is just as beautiful as my building. Palm trees line the walkways that lead up to each building, all of which sparkle—Tanner tells me that they just finished remodeling almost the whole campus, which is huge. It takes us more than an hour to just to walk past all the buildings. He shows me the big lawn beyond the beach, where people take their books to study on picnic tables, and the main dining hall, which is stuffed with windows and faces the water. There’s even a garden with a stone table in the center, partially hidden from the rest of campus. I know the second I see it that I’ll be spending a lot of time there.

We get takeaway tacos and coffee from library café and eat in the garden, Tanner downing his in practically two bites. When I finish mine, I look up and realize that he’s staring at me, his characteristic joking smile nowhere to be seen.

“May,” he says softly. “I want you to know that I still mean what I said last time I saw you.”

Just like always, the guilt pours into my chest. But this time I’ll do better. I won’t just stand and stare in shock. “Tanner, it’s not you. It never was you. Any girl would be lucky to have you. It’s just that my mom—”

“May, you don’t have to explain anything to me,” he says, leaning forward. The breeze pulls his hair into his sky-blue eyes. “I just wanted to tell you that despite that, you don’t have to worry. We’ll still be friends like we’ve always been.”

“Thank you,” I say a little helplessly. “But listen. You know that my dad
left my mom when I was little. She’s never been the same. I promised myself I would never let that happen to me. It’s not you. I just don’t want to date anyone.”