Tortured Beginning (22 page)

I lay on the bed and grab the remote. Damn, we should've stopped and grabbed some snacks. I remember seeing a vending machine between the buildings. I grab the ice bucket, my wallet and the key card.

I poke my head into the bathroom, "Heading to the vending machine, any requests?'

She pokes her head out of the curtain, all wet and looking sexy as hell. "Yeah. Can I have a coke, and some chips."

I nod my head, she smiles and disappears back into the shower. I walk out and turn to the left to the end of the building. I turn to find the machines. I put the money in the machine, getting coke's for both of us. I put them in the bucket and fill it with ice. I then go to the goodie machine, buying candy and chips. Now that I'm loaded up, I head to our room.

Once back inside, I walk to the table and unload our goodies. Jaylah is still in the bathroom, so I grab a coke and take it to the bed. I make myself comfortable and find a movie to watch.

Jaylah walks through dressed in short, cotton shorts and a t-shirt. She looks a little more relaxed, I watch her walk to the table. She grabs a coke, and the bag of m-n-m's. She comes around the bed and climbs in next to me.

We sit there for awhile, watching the movie, not talking. I notice she steals glances at me, with a worried look on her face. After she does it a couple more times, I turn the TV off.

I turn to her, "What is on your mind?"

She sighs, "Are you going to tell me what happened today?"

"What?"

"At the accident. You looked like you saw a ghost."

Damn, I rub my hand over my face, and the run it through my hair. This is a touchy subject for me, I don't really talk about it to anyone. Do I tell her?

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I get it."

I turn to face her, and see the hurt look on her face. "No, that's not it at all. I don't talk about it."

"That's fine, like I said you don't have to tell me."

I grab her hands, and pull her so she is looking into my eyes. "I lost my girlfriend, Elizabeth. She was killed in a car accident, five years ago."

"I'm so sorry."

I drop her hand and stand up. "She hit a deer and she went through the windshield. She wasn't wearing her seatbelt."

Jaylah stands up and walks behind me, wrapping her arms around me. "That's awful."

I start getting angry, knowing that it was my fault. If I wasn't drinking, she wouldn't have been driving and she would still be here with me.

"It was my fault," I spit out. She lets go and looks at me. "I was drunk and couldn't drive."

"That's not your fault."

I ball up my fists and try to control myself. "No, it was my fault. She would still be alive if it wasn't for me," I yell and take a step towards her.

Jaylah flinches as I step towards her, and it stops me in my tracks. What the fuck? I turn and walk to the window and take a deep breath.

"I wasn't going to hit you. I've never hit a woman in my life. You want to tell me about it?"

I knew something was wrong when I saw how Nico reacted to the accident scene. But when he was telling me about Elizabeth, I wasn't prepared for how angry he would get. When he stepped towards me, I naturally flinched. I hate myself for being like that, I feel weak.

"I'm sorry."

"No reason to be sorry. Tell me about it."

"My ex, Ben use to beat me. When we were still a couple, the last time he beat me, he almost killed me. He is in jail now, for violating the restraining order I have on him."

"Did he hurt you this last time?"

"Not really, I tripped and hit my head."

"So he did hurt you."

I could tell that he was getting more upset, "I'm okay. Trevan was there for me."

"Who's Trevan? Is he the guy that showed up at your house that morning?"

I look towards the wall and nod, "Yeah. He was the detective on my case."

I walk over to the bed and sit back down. Nico, walks to the window and looks out to the water. It's dark out and you can now see the moon's reflection on the water. I watch as he runs his hands through his hair, he turns, looking at me.

"We are two fucked up people, aren't we?" I ask.

"Yeah, and we still don't know everything about each other."

"That is very true."

"Let's go to bed, I'm exhausted."

"Me too."

I watch as Nico, closes the curtains, and make sure that both doors are locked. He turns off the light next to the bed and crawls in bed next to me. I curl up next to him, with my head on my chest. I don't remember much, I fell asleep so fast.

After breakfast, we decided to go see the Iargo Springs. The waitress told us it was a half hour drive from Tawas, but a must see. It has been getting colder and I didn't pack much so I wanted to stop and get a sweatshirt before we head out.

"Can we please stop at a store."

"Sure. What store?"

"I want a sweatshirt, I didn't pack enough warm clothes."

He nods, "We can walk and see what these shops have."

"Okay," I smile at him.

I walk along the side of him, and I feel a calm come over me. This normal thing, feeling so strange to me. These past few months have been so crazy for me. First with Trevan, who brought me out of, well whatever you want to call what I was in. I miss him, but being with him is too vanilla. I know that sounds crazy, but it might have been too safe for me.

Now Nico, who has been in my life on and off for over a year. I never wanted to get close to him, but last night changed things for us.

"Why don't we go in here?"

I look into the shop, to see that everything is souvenirs for the visitors of Tawas. "I'm sure they have something."

Nico opens the door for me, and I hear the bell go off, above me. It's a cute store, set up with all kinds of your typical souvenirs. I walk towards the back left corner, that has whole area of clothes. I look through the different style of shirts, and see Nico off looking at different things. He looks over at me and smiles, I smile back.

I see him in a different light, it's amazing what a day can do. I have always been attracted to him, no mistaking that. But I saw a side of him, that I never cared to see or know. I realize that I can't keep going through life on auto. It may be a long road for me, but I can actually see a glimmer of light.

I shake myself, not wanting to think about this shit right now. I want to enjoy these few days, no strings attached. I find a hooded sweatshirt, with Tawas on the front. I decide that it will be fine, I find my size and take it to the front.

"Did you find what you want?"

"Yeah, this will be fine. Did you find anything you want?"

"Maybe. But we have time to buy other things."

I nod, and smile. I walk to the counter and pull out my wallet. The woman smiles kindly at me and rings me up. I hand her my credit card, and sign my receipt.

"I don't need a bag. Thank you."

"You two have a wonderful day."

"Thank you, mam."

We walk out, I pull off the tabs and throw them out in the garbage can on the street. I pull it on and feel warmer already. I laugh at myself, who am I? I don't do these things, I'm the one usually laughing at couples. I have been numb for so long, but between Nico and Trevan, my life has changed. Damn, I need to stop thinking about Trevan.

"You still with me?"

"Sorry, was thinking."

"You okay?"

"I'm great, better than I've been in a long time."

He smiles at me and I wrap my arm through his. He gives me a shocked look, and I chuckle.

"Where is my Jaylah? And who are you?"

I smack him on the arm, "Yeah, yeah."

We both laugh, we get to the bike, put on our helmets and hop on.

It was a beautiful ride to the springs. We park the bike, at the entrance to the boardwalk. The park has the long boardwalk, that takes you along to see the several springs. We learn that this was a huge lumber community, and this was a large part of the industry.

"This is beautiful. Wow."

I smile over at Nico, and he looks far away this time. Man, we are such a sight. We are two broken people that found each other. Maybe this is what we both need.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I realize that he doesn't want to talk about it, so I leave him alone.

We walk along the boardwalk, enjoying the fresh autumn air. Between the changing of the leaves and the springs, I don't think I have seen such a beautiful place.

I walk along with Jaylah and enjoy the scenery. It's a beautiful place, I was always going to come here with Elizabeth. I haven't thought so much about her in a long time. I was finally get to a better place.

The accident we saw, triggered the memory for me. I think being with Jaylah has brought out the memories too. I've wanted to have more with her for awhile and now that we have taken this step, well shit. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me.

When she told me about her ex, I wanted to go find the asshole and beat the shit out of him. That brought back memories of my dad, and seeing him beat my mother. I was eight, when my dad beat my mother so bad, he killed her.