Total Knockout (14 page)

He'd never talked to me like that before. It was a little weird, but I liked that he felt I could handle it. Also, it felt really good talking about something totally unrelated to school. “Don't think so low of yourself, Dad. You have to at least try.”

He rolled his lips in, keeping his eyes on the road. Almost to himself, he whispered, “I know.”

At home, we found Mom waiting in the kitchen looking about as angry as I'd ever seen her.

“Everything okay?” Dad asked as he dropped his keys on the kitchen counter.

She didn't even look at him—only me. “I got a call at work this afternoon from Mrs. Peoria.” My stomach sank. I couldn't even look at her. “Now, I just want to hear the truth, because I know what she's saying isn't true.”

“What's going on?” Dad asked. I tried to find the ability to speak.

“William, not now,” Mom said to him, as if the matter didn't concern him.

“Excuse me,” he said, raising his voice, “but she's my daughter too.”

Mom closed her eyes and put a hand on her hip—always a bad sign. “Mrs. Peoria called to tell me that my daughter has cheated to get her way at school, and I am sure I raised you better than to do something so cheap and despicable.”

“What'd she do?” Dad asked.

As I was still unable to speak, Mom spoke up for me. She was talking to Dad but kept her eyes on me. “She forced a student council vote to get her own way. Isn't that true, Lucia?”

Dad looked at me but said nothing.

Finally, I squeaked out to Mom, “Well, sort of. Not really.”

“Not really?” Mom snapped. “Then
what
, really?”

I couldn't look her in the eyes. I couldn't look Dad in the eyes either. I could feel their disappointment all around me, like a too-hot blanket.

Mom's voice became calm. She crossed her arms over her stomach and looked up to the ceiling. “So this is how
I raised my daughter. Get to your room,” she snapped.

I turned on my heel and ran to my room before the tears could spill down my face.

I couldn't believe myself. I'd been so desperate to make a huge, positive change in my last year as president that I had lost my focus and basically cheated. And worse, not only had I disappointed Mrs. Peoria, whose opinion I hadn't realized I cared about, and my dad, but I had disappointed my mom to the point that she couldn't even look at me.

I buried my face in my pillows, clutching Paddy close to me, and cried—actually, more like bawled. I could feel the veins in my neck bulging. I got it all out, hard, efficiently, in five minutes. Then I sat up, wiped my face, and wondered what was going to happen to me at school the next day. I wasn't sure how the whole thing would play out, or what Ms. Jenkins would do once everyone read the paper.

Which made me think of the online polls.

I told myself not to do it even as I turned on my computer. I wondered how the poll would be worded, and how bad the numbers would be stacked against me. As I logged on to our school's site, I was not prepared for just how bad it would be.

As reported exclusively by Nicole Jeffries, Lucia Latham cheated the student council vote to get the unpopular healthy vending machines installed. Do you think she should step down from office for her blatant disregard for the law?

- No, the rule she broke isn't that big of a deal.

- Yes, if she lies and cheats on this, what else might she do?

My hand shook over the mouse as I viewed the poll results: 85 percent for stepping down.

I tossed Paddy to the floor, and for the first time in my life, I sneaked out of my room.

As I ran to Cooper's house, I thought of what boxing meant to me. It was about endurance. You feel like you want to collapse at the end of each round, like you don't have any more strength left in you, but you have to keep going. Once you're in that ring, there isn't any other choice. And that's what I would do too. Unlike Dad, I wouldn't quit. I would endure.

I felt slightly better as I walked up Cooper's driveway. I was already getting stronger, or at least telling myself to have more confidence.

I could see that their garage door, which was on the
side of the house, was open and the lights were on. I could hear Cooper saying, “That's it. Good!” I heard that familiar smacking of gloves.

When the inside of the garage came into view, I saw Cooper wearing the yellow focus mitts we sometimes used for target practice. I stood immobile outside the garage. He stopped the second he saw me, and got clocked in the mitt by the other person's pink glove. When the person turned to look at me, I saw that it was Melanie. Boxing with Cooper. In my gear.

I could hardly speak. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Boxing was
our
thing. It wasn't hers. It was just another whim that she'd forget about in three days, just like everything else. And because I couldn't think of anything to say, I looked at Melanie and yelled, “You said you were Irish!” then turned around and ran back home.

Mom drove me to school the next morning even though she was barely talking to me. I couldn't bear facing Melanie—or anyone else—on the bus.

I was angry with Melanie and the boxing, and angry with myself for what I had done at school. As I walked the halls I kept my chin up—to show the school (or maybe myself) that I would endure. I just knew I had to be brave. Before I would let myself really process or deal with Melanie, I knew I had to apologize for the vote.

Jared was the first council member I saw. He was leaning against the lockers before first period, talking to April DeHart, a perky cheerleader who was always on the top of the pyramids. I was surprised she was giving Jared the time of day, but she giggled as he spoke, her round cheeks glowing pink.

“Hey, Jared,” I said as I approached them. I told myself
that he would be the most difficult to talk to, and once I explained myself to him, the others would come more easily.

When Jared looked at me, the smile fell from his face. Even April stiffened.

“Can I talk to you for a second? Alone?” I looked to April and tried to give her a look that said,
You understand, don't you?
She glared back at me.

Jared looked down at the carpet. “I'm not sure I'm ready to talk to you, Latham. I feel very deceived right now.”

“I know, but look,” I said, “it'll only take a sec. Please?”

“Fine,” he said. “Say what you want, but say it here.” April stood up straighter, as if to protect Jared from my evilness.

I told myself that others
should
hear what I had to say; I
wanted
everyone to know that I understood what a huge, stupid mistake I had made. I squared my shoulders and said, “Okay. Well, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for not following the rules. I just wanted to get the vending machines vote through because Ms. Jenkins wanted it on the school board agenda, and I didn't think it was a big deal. But now I know it was.”

Jared looked up at me, his brows pulled together. “So, what? You only did it because Ms. Jenkins made you?”

“No, that's not what I meant. She wanted it on the next meeting agenda, but—”

“Dang, Latham. You're unbelievable. How about taking some responsibility?”

“Yeah,” April squeaked, but I barely paid her any attention because that was not what I meant to say.

“Ms. Jenkins rocks,” Jared said, “and I, for one, won't let you blame your own sneaky ways on her.”

“No, that's not what I meant. And I didn't mean to be sneaky.”

Jared snorted, and April linked her arm through his. “Come on, Jared,” she said in a soft voice as she glared at me. “Let's get out of here.”

“I just wanted to do something nice for the school,” I tried.

I stared at them as they walked away and heard students
tsk
me as they headed to class. I felt like crying, and I'd never hated myself more than I did just then.

In the halls, people gave me dirty looks. Even Lily Schmidt, who was finding her voice more and more, managed to snip to me in algebra, “You shouldn't have cheated.”

When I got to the cafeteria, I saw Cooper. His shirt was half tucked in, like maybe he was making an effort of some sort. He was with Max, but I barely saw him, even though I think he said hello to me. Cooper told him he'd see him inside, and Max hesitated for a moment before telling Cooper he'd save him a seat.

Seeing Cooper gave me this weird mix of feelings I'd never had with him. Massive confusion, if that's an actual feeling, was the strongest.

We stood before the Naturally Natural vending machine—the same one I had inaugurated just a few weeks ago. There were still pieces of a skull-and-bones picture that hadn't been torn down completely on the side of it. I picked at them while Cooper waited for me to say something.

“Hey,” I finally said.

“Hey,” he replied.

We didn't speak for several excruciating moments. I didn't know what I was supposed to say, and I guess he didn't either. Avoiding what I really wanted to ask him (“Do you like her?!”), I said, “So, I guess you saw the paper?”

He looked me right in the eyes and said, “I understand why you did it. I mean, you didn't have to, and
I don't think any less of you for it. You know,” he said, “Nicole had me turn over my meeting notes to her. She cited some Freedom of Information Act or something.” It was the very act I helped implement two years ago. “They're being really hard on you, Loosh. I don't think it's fair.”

I managed a smile. “Thanks, but I think it's exactly fair.”

“If you want me to talk to anyone—Nicole or Mrs. Peoria—just say the word. I'll do anything.”

I let that last sentence linger in my head a moment.
I'll do anything
. Cooper was the most solid thing in my life, and I didn't want anything between us to change—not ever. “Thanks,” I finally managed, feeling tears sting the corners of my eyes. I kept my eyes on my shoes.

We stood for a moment until finally he said, “I shouldn't have let Melanie use your gloves without asking you. I'm sorry.”

I didn't look at Cooper when I said, “No biggie. I shouldn't have kept the research period thing secret.”

“No biggie,” he replied.

I wanted to ask him if Melanie was any good at boxing, if it would be a regular thing, and just how much time were they spending together? I also wanted to
scream,
Don't ever do it again!
but I guess I showed a rare moment of restraint.

He motioned to the cafeteria. “You going in?”

I had my lunch with me, and even though I had walked to the caf with every intention of going in and eating, suddenly I didn't feel like it. Even though seeing Cooper made me feel better, it also made me feel horrible. If that makes any sense. “I think I'm just gonna walk around for a bit.”

He nodded like he understood. “I'll be around,” he said.

Leaving the cafeteria, I put my hands into the pockets of my black pants, which were getting a little short in the hem, and stormed across the windy athletic field, then banged on the temporary building's door before opening it myself.

Coach Fleck looked up from his metal desk. “Well, hey there, Prez.”

“Hi.”

“What brings you out to these parts? Don't tell me there's been more budget cuts and you're taking away our offices.” He laughed at that, and so did Coach Ryan, who was on the other side of the office, at his own desk.

I jerked my head toward the vending machine
crammed against the wall. “Gimme the chocolate doughnuts and a Coke.” I pulled some money out of my pocket and offered it to him.

He let out a long whistle. “Must be a rough day,” he said, getting up to get me the loot. Handing it over he said, “First one's on the house, kid.” I snatched it out of his hands and quickly left, shutting the door on their laughter.

I scarfed the doughnuts and guzzled half the Coke just walking across the field. I buried the evidence in the trashcan outside the cafeteria, hoping Lori Anne wasn't lurking around the corner like a paparazzo, snapping incriminating pictures. Before I could even decide where to go next or what to do, I ran into Melanie. My stomach, which was already dangling somewhere around my knees, plummeted to the floor.

“Oh, hey,” I said. Melanie looked as cute as ever in a gray fedora with a red feather that matched the belt on her white blouse. She was with Rose Andreas, who wore a long tangle of pink opaque stones around her neck, and Catherine Collins, who darted her eyes nervously from me to Melanie. “You guys go ahead, I'll be there in a sec,” Melanie told them. When they left, she said, “I've been looking for you.”

I could barely look at her but saw that she was watching me closely, carefully.

“How are you holding up?” she asked. “You okay?”

I shrugged like it was no big thing. “I'm fine.” Even though I was mad at her for boxing with Cooper—
in my gear
—I really wanted to apologize about the voting thing, because I honestly felt awful about it. “I'm really sorry about not telling you about the research period with the voting.”