Touch & Go (14 page)

Ava stared down at her plate, the baby carrots missing only a single tip. Her fillet all but untouched. And those fancy potatoes she'd practically licked off the plate at the tasting…she hadn't even managed a bite.

“Are you through?” the server beside her asked.

Belly tensed and churning, she smiled weakly and nodded.

From her other side, Mitch leaned in so his shoulder pressed against hers. “Now I see why you're so tiny. You eat like a bird.”

Not really. Sam teased her that she ate more than twice her body weight a day. Something that always made her laugh, only right then the thought only made her stomach clench tighter as her eyes sought him out at the table to the right. He'd been seated beside Tyler's cousin Jocelyn, who just happened to be gorgeous, tall, and athletically lean. She had a California-girl look, complete with the sun-streaked hair and golden hues in her skin. She and Sam looked like they ought to open a surf shop down on the boardwalk somewhere.

Would it be her?

Or maybe Sylvia, the Wellses' family friend seated across the table from him. She'd been casting Sam shy smiles from beneath that fall of chestnut hair all day.

“Watch out or my mom'll be trying to cook for you to put a little more meat on your bones.”

Ava blinked, confused by Mitch's conspiratorial tone and the words she hadn't been following. Poor guy—he'd been stuck with her all day, dutifully making conversation while she stewed and stressed over whether Sam would deem a few days long enough before resuming his standard pickup activities. But Mitch had made the most if it, and for a few minutes earlier, he'd even managed to distract her completely.

Yet now as she noticed more and more of the women in attendance noticing Sam, she was less and less capable of noticing anything else.

It was going to happen.

Whatever magical number of days Sam had decided were enough would finally pass and the wild charm that was so much a part of his makeup would flip back on, and all he'd have to do was pick from one of the dozens of women who'd been circling him like sharks.

And when he did, she'd smile and laugh it off and not let on for a single second that it was killing her inside, just like she'd been doing through most of her life.

“But if you ask me—”

She startled at the feel of Mitch's fingers running over her wrist and met his eyes.

“—I think you're perfect just the way you are.”

Oh God.
Was this about the food thing? Mitch was Tyler's little brother and it really wouldn't kill her to be polite. “I was just a little nervous tonight. You know, for Maggie and everything. Hoping all the details came together.”

Not exactly the truth, but she'd had to give him something.

He was giving her that dimpled smile then, and it made him look so much like his big brother, it was all she could do to resist pinching his cheek.

“You're telling me you're a big eater then?”

Not much of a conversationalist, this one. But she smiled warmly anyway because he was trying. “Yeah, like unhinge-my-jaw-and-swallow-a-cow-whole big eater.”

He let out a laugh, his blue eyes flashing with humor. “I like you, Ava. You don't try to convince people you're anything other than who you are. You're honest.”

This time her answering smile was strained, because she'd never felt more dishonest in her whole life. She'd lied to everyone. To her friends—telling them all there wasn't anyone in her heart and playing like she didn't care. To Sam—swearing her emotions wouldn't get tangled up in what they were doing, when her emotions had been tangled up for twenty years. To herself—for thinking for one minute she could spend weeks living out her every fantasy with the man she'd loved since they were little kids, and then go back to being friends of the “just” variety without it completely destroying her.

Jocelyn arched back in her chair, arms overhead, the movement elongating her already criminally long body and thrusting her ample breasts forward. Her eyes were on Sam the whole time, a seductive curve to her lips that was all invitation. Nothing Ava hadn't seen a thousand times before and nothing that concerned her because when it came down to it, it was going to be Sam who decided. Only the way he was seated—and unfortunately, Ava didn't have anyone to blame but herself as she'd been the one to press his little sticky tag into place at table two—she couldn't see anything but the back of his head.

Mitch was talking to her again, something about the DJ and dancing, and that's when Ava snapped out of it. Maggie and Tyler were stepping out onto the dance floor together to Sara Bareilles's lyrics about telling the world they'd finally gotten it all right. The joy in their faces as they danced around the room was so pure and complete, Ava found herself blinking back another bout of happy tears. It was so beautiful.

When the DJ invited everyone to join the couple on the dance floor, Mitch was there, taking her hand before she'd even realized she was looking for Sam. And then they were dancing to Michael Bublé, and there was no place for her focus to go but on the man who was swinging her around the dance floor like a total pro.

“You're a good dancer, Mitch.”

He smiled, and she had to admit, it was a really nice smile.

“You're beautiful, Ava.” Mitch said, pulling her in closer as he spun her around faster. “I've been trying to get you to notice I was interested since I first got into town, but I'm not sure you're getting it.”

They were moving in a dizzying rush, and Ava blinked up at Mitch, really looking at him close enough to see more than Tyler's little brother for maybe the first time. He was tall, not as tall as Sam but probably about the same height as Tyler.

A little leaner through his frame than his brother, but still built more like an athlete than a businessman. And he had thoughtful blue eyes that suddenly made her see him for who he was. A man. Not a kid. Someone who was interested in her and wasn't playing any games about it.

“Mitch, I'm sorry. I didn't realize—”

“Yeah, I got that,” he cut in with a smile that promised no hard feelings. “Which is why I'm telling you. I asked your friends about you and they said you weren't involved with anyone else. I thought maybe you and Sam, but they swore up and down it wasn't the case. It's not, is it?”

Okay, this was bad. Really bad.

Because here was this guy putting himself out there, in such an open and honest way…and as much as he deserved to know there had been something with Sam—or forget about even naming him, if she admitted there'd been anyone and she wasn't quite over it…he might tell Tyler. Tyler
would
tell Maggie, and then Maggie would bring it up while Sam was sitting next to her at breakfast.

Everything would change.

And she couldn't let it happen.

“There isn't, but, Mitch, I'm not really looking for a relationship or, since you don't live in town, even a date right now.”

At least that last part was true.

He watched her a moment and as the dance came to an end, didn't let go. “Bet I could change your mind.”

Ava was about to tell him no, when she looked past his shoulder to where Sam was standing by the bar, handing Jocelyn a drink.

What if it wasn't just a drink?

She swallowed hard and, her heart starting a sickening race, she forced her gaze back to the man in front of her.

Could he make her forget?

No, not even a chance.

But maybe he could distract her. If Sam was ready to resume his romantic adventures, if he and Jocelyn were suddenly suspiciously missing from the festivities, could she get through it if she let Mitch—

“No.” Full of conviction, the word had shot past her lips before she'd realized how bad it wanted to get loose.

She couldn't use Mitch, and even if her heart somehow hardened enough to where she could live with herself for doing it to him, she still wouldn't.
Because it wouldn't work.

Sam was too far under her skin. Too close at hand.

Too easy to compare to whichever substitute she hoped could replace him in her heart.

Besides, the only thing that sickened her more than the idea of Sam with another woman was the thought of being with another man herself.

“I'm sorry, Mitch. If I'd realized earlier, I would have said something so you didn't waste your time.”

His lips quirked. “Not even close to a waste.” He kissed her cheek and headed off toward his brother and Maggie. That's when she caught sight of Sam cutting purposefully through the crowd toward her. A look of singular intent on his face, the smile on his lips one she knew without question wasn't real.

Their eyes met, and everything else fell away.

“Got a dance for me?” he asked, sliding his hand around her waist in a move that would be hard for anyone other than their closest friends to construe as anything but possessive.

And
God,
she wanted to melt into it. Give herself over to the feel of his arms around her again. Rest her head against his chest to the sound of Jason Mraz.

No one would question it.

They were dancing at their closest friends' wedding. Celebrating.

But even as every molecule in her body begged her to do just that, she held firm. And when the scant few inches between them weren't enough, she took the next step back.

Sam's brows pulled together, the muscle in his jaw beginning to jump.

“It's just a dance, Ave.”

For her, it was never just a dance. “I know.”

He stopped, and within the sea of guests moving around them to a song she'd lost track of, he stared into her eyes. “What's going on? You've been tense all day. Is it Mitch? Are you into him or something?”

She blinked, stunned. Was it possible he could be jealous?

Only then she realized—so what if he was?

Not wanting another man to have her wasn't the same as wanting her for himself. Wanting her completely.

Nothing had changed there. Sam didn't want the whole of her.

And she had to stop feeling sorry for herself over it.

These last weeks, she'd gotten exactly the chance she'd spent years wishing for. The chance to show him what it could be like between them. The chance to know what it felt like to be held in his arms.

That moment when they'd been as close as two people could be and he'd told her he loved her, she'd had it all.

Being with Sam was everything she'd imagined and more. And he still didn't want her the way she needed him to.

So now she knew.

And now it was time to move on with her life, no matter what it took.

“Ava, damn it, talk to me,” he growled, completely oblivious to the looks they'd started to catch from those around them. “What's going on with you?”

She smiled, the gnawing tension that had been building within her since that first kiss suddenly gone.

“I'm going back to San Diego.”

The words landed like lead in his gut, turned over and condensed before firing back out like a cannon blast. “San Diego? You're fucking kidding me, right?”

Ava winced and he felt like shit for the satisfaction it gave him. But damn it,
San Diego
? There was no way the timing was a coincidence. She'd passed the last three times they asked her to go, but now, after she called it quits on the bedroom antics and things got just the slightest bit tense, suddenly she can't refuse a trip out to the office that kept her for three fucking months the first time she went?

“How long?” he asked, knowing any answer he got was going to be bullshit. Every time she'd gone, her stay ended up being at least twice what she'd agreed to. Of course this time, maybe that's what she was banking on.

Ava glanced around and then nodded toward an empty table in the back. And yeah, if he actually gave a shit about the crowd, getting away from it would have been a priority. He didn't. But since Ava did, they were going to have to do better than a quiet table two feet off from the rest of the guests for what he had to say.

Taking her hand, he led her out past the bar to the terrace.

Too many people, so he pulled her back the other way.

“Sam, stop dragging me around like some errant kid,” Ava hissed behind him, giving his arm a yank he resisted only enough so she wouldn't fall back on her ass when he let go.

“Fine. The lounge, then.” He stood aside, letting her lead until they reached the hallway where the men's and ladies' rooms branched off. Planting his hand at the small of her back, he propelled her farther toward the unmarked door straight ahead.

“Sam!” Ava ground to a halt, stomping one silver-strapped sandal.

Couldn't have felt good. Shouldn't have looked so sexy, but what was he going to do about it?

He tried the knob, discovering a utility closet on the other side.
Perfect.

Holding the door like the gentleman he was, he shoved her inside.

“A closet, Sam?” she demanded, those big brown eyes boring into him from close range. “At Maggie and Tyler's wedding? We should have stayed and had it out in the middle of the dance floor. It would have been less conspicuous than this!”

Only if they got caught.

Which when he considered the proximity of the closet to the lounges themselves, factoring in the increasing frequency with which women tended to visit them as the night wore on—well,
shit.
He'd been trying.

“Forget about all that. We're talking about San Diego.”

Yeah, and didn't that just douse the fight in her eyes.

“You're making a bigger deal about it than it needs to be.”

The hell he was.

“You're leaving, Ava. Because of what happened with us. You're
leaving
when we agreed things wouldn't change.”

“I know what we agreed to, Sam,” she snapped. “And believe me, I tried to keep my end of the bargain. But things started changing the minute we got together and you're a liar if you tell me you didn't recognize it. It was supposed to be one kiss. Then one night. Then a few days maybe. But instead of staying in the neat little box we picked out for it, this thing between us turned fluid and it got bigger than I was prepared to handle, and while I still say everything is going to be fine with us and we'll be back to normal in no time at all, I've realized normal is going to come a lot quicker if we've got more than a few hours between
you naked in my bed
and us being ‘just friends' again.”

She sucked a deep breath, having apparently burned through everything in her lungs on that one.

Jesus.

He reached for her, cupping her cheek and being careful not to get his fingers into her hair.

“Ava, I know we took it further than we'd agreed to,” he said, looking into her eyes and seeing the vulnerability behind her defenses. “And I know it was me pushing. I'm sorry. But I don't understand why you have to leave. Why we couldn't just do what we always do and get through this together.”

She closed her eyes, shaking her head as she tried to pull back from him. Only there wasn't room and he didn't want to let her get away. Not when they had something this big between them.

His hand slid around the back of her neck, his thumb brushing the smooth line of her jaw. “You know I'm not over it yet either. I nearly blew a gasket watching you and Mitch today, seeing him make you laugh. His hand on your arm. Leaning in like you two had some kind of private joke between you. It was everything I could do not to go over and—”

“Put your hands on me like we were together?” she asked softly, looking up at him again. “Pull me into a dance that didn't look quite so friendly as it should have been?”

He swallowed, getting caught up in the eye contact. In the way he was touching her and how close they were standing while she called him out on the bullshit move he hadn't been able to resist.

“Yeah, not to do more than that.”

And then he was thinking about what exactly
more than that
might mean. Which only proved his point.

He hadn't made the full return to friendship yet either. But he wasn't running away because of it. He wasn't trying to leave her behind or let her go. “Ava, we can get through this together. Hell, we can be our own two-person recovery program. I'll be your sponsor. You be mine. We introduce ourselves each day and reaffirm our commitment to a friendly, sex-free future together.”

He actually thought that was pretty good. Only Ava was blinking up at him, the color coming higher in her cheeks as her lips parted on his name.

And that's when he realized he was stroking that tender stretch of her neck and drawing her in closer with his hand at her hip.

Fuck.

“Okay, and when we backslide, we promise not to judge too harshly because we're only human and friends forgive friends for stupid shit. Right?”

“Sam.”

He closed his eyes, a cold pit opening up inside him. “You're going.”

“I'm going. It'll be better this way. I just need to get you and me straight in my head again and it'll be easier with a few thousand miles between us. They need the help in the office, so I'll keep busy, and then when I come back it'll be like we hit the reset on our relationship. You'll be back to doing what you do. And I'll be back to doing…well, to not doing you.”

Sam let out a gruff laugh, but he didn't feel it. How could he argue with that?

It hadn't taken Ava more than a single text to the San Diego office and within an hour she'd gotten word they were booking her travel for Tuesday. It was the peace of mind she'd needed to relax into the party and enjoy the celebration she was sharing with her newly married friends.

Sam keeping a minimum two feet between them at all times and working overboard to keep the conversation light and easy helped too.

She'd danced with Tony and Ford and Tyler's other brother, Ryan, who spent most of the song watching Jocelyn circulating through the crowd.

When Maggie had done her due diligence with all the relatives and family friends, she traded her gorgeous beaded heels for flip-flops and, snagging a bottle of champagne, pulled Ava with her into the smaller connecting room where all the gifts had been stored. There was a couch and another, smaller terrace.

If only she'd remembered the room when Sam was dragging her off.

Maggie dropped into her corner of the couch and, head back, let out an exhausted, delighted sigh.

Maggie couldn't stop smiling and despite everything that was happening with Sam, seeing one of her best friends so happy, neither could Ava.

“You did it!” Claiming the opposite corner for herself, Ava slipped off her shoes and tucked her feet beneath her. “You made it through the big wedding. The one you never thought you'd survive.”

Maggie was nodding, her eyes bright with the joyful tears that had been on hand since the day began. “I did. I'm a married woman. With the white dress and the photos and the drunk relatives to prove it,” she laughed.

Ava knew she was being silly, but this day had been no small hurdle for Maggie and she was proud of her friend for being able to overcome her fears. Enjoy the day and live out the dream she'd given up years before.

And Tyler was the reason. He'd known how she felt. Understood her fears, and he'd helped her face them. Because he wanted all of her dreams to come true.

The door to their quiet room opened, and music and laughter spilled in with Tyler, Ford, and Sam.

“Told you I'd find her in here. This room was a major selling factor when we were checking the place out six months ago.”

Sam met Ava's eyes, offering what might have been an apologetic look. Or maybe not.

Then he was cutting around her brother toward the floor-to-ceiling windows, looking out at the darkening sky.

There were moments when it physically hurt her heart to look at him. When—

“Ava tell you about San Diego?” he asked, turning around to grin at Maggie, whose mouth had just dropped open. “She's leaving Tuesday.”

—When the urge to stab him with her high heel was all but impossible to resist.

“San Diego?” Maggie screeched, and it was on.