Touch of Amber: Hot Rods, Book 7 (9 page)

As if.

“Willie!” he shouted. “I’ve got Amber.”

She’d never been so happy to see her mother in all her life as when the woman trotted into sight. “Amber! Amber, what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Dazed, destroyed, she kept asking herself the same damn thing.

“Did you two have a fight or something?” her mom asked.

“No.” She sniffled. “No. It was nothing like that. We…were together. It was amazing. I fell asleep. And when I woke up, he was gone.”

Amber glanced up at the concerned friends beginning to stream past. Some stayed, hovering around her, while others went to guide the paramedics to their location, and still more—the guys, mostly—continued on to help Roman and Carver contain Gavyn.

Nola joined them next, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. “It was the champagne I left for you, wasn’t it? I’m so sorry, Amber. I didn’t think. Even when you left with him, I thought of you guys going to his cabin not yours. I was so happy and there were so many things happening. I should have warned—”

Amber shushed her sister. At the end of the day, Gavyn had to be responsible for himself. She knew that, despite the fact that she kept trying to imagine what she could have done differently herself.

She wiped her nose on the sleeve of his shirt. No one commented about how she was wearing only that, ruined now from the grime, snot and blood smeared over it.

Her mother wrapped her in her arms and rocked her, promising things would be okay, even though they both knew that was a big, fat lie. Tom approached from her other side, adding his support. Nola completed the circle, hugging her tight even as she cried silently, her tears soaking the neck of Gavyn’s shirt.

“You know, I’d kick that boy’s ass if he hadn’t done so much harm to himself already,” her mom snapped as she stroked Amber’s hair.

After several minutes, when her shaking had subsided to minor trembles, Tom and her mom each put one of her arms around their shoulders and stood, bracketing her as the three of them walked the rest of the way to Kayla and Dave’s house together. Inside, warmth, compassion, family and friends waited to nurse her superficial wounds.

There was nothing they could do to mend her broken heart.

Not even the news, hours later, that Gavyn was physically in the clear could do that.

Chapter Eleven

Three Months Later

Gavyn sat in the parking lot of Middletown’s hospital, debating whether or not he should get off his motorcycle or turn around and trek the long hours back to Bare Natural. The Powertools crew had asked him to go on their behalf, to congratulate the Hot Rods and welcome their littlest member into the world, but he couldn’t decide if they truly appreciated his flexibility—AKA the fact that he still had no job—or if they were making excuses to send him across state lines as part of some misguided matchmaking scheme.

Was this the right thing to do?

He’d spent a lot of time asking himself that lately. Learning to trust himself had been one of the hardest things he’d done since his grand breakdown the night of the Hot Rods’ wedding.

The night he’d destroyed his future. Again. Well, one he
might
have had. He’d begun to salvage the wreckage of his life, determined to rebuild it the best he could. Only fitting since he still planned to open his own bike shop. Actually…that was the other reason he’d come.

For help.

He’d started thinking of himself as a project. Knock off some rust here, put in replacement parts there, and soon he’d be roadworthy again. Well, he thought he might be to that point already. Now it was time to focus on professional matters.

Opening his shop by the end of the year had become an official goal.

Except sitting here, looking at a building he knew Amber Brown had recently stood inside was enough to make his chest ache. Would seeing her friends help or hurt his progress?

Maybe if she’d answered his long, detailed apology email—not with forgiveness, he didn’t expect that, but with any sort of acknowledgement—he might not feel so out of place.

Still, he knew he owed the Hot Rods an in-person visit. After all, several of them had been responsible for saving his life, giving him a chance to start new—if not as innocently as the baby Kaige and Nola had created and would raise together with their friends.

It was the decent thing to do. He had resolved he would stick to that path, even when it wasn’t easy, from now on. So far, so good.

Just to be extra careful, because he’d learned to moderate his reckless behavior some, he took out his phone and texted Roman.

I’m here. Amber’s gone, right?

He sat there, swallowing hard, his hands fidgeting with the touch screen until the cell buzzed in his palm.

Yes. But I still think it would be better if she wasn’t. I can call her back.

No “but”, Roman. I won’t do that to her. If she wants to talk to me ever again, she knows where to find me.

Okay, well, maybe not at the moment she didn’t. But she could easily find out. Yet hadn’t.

Relieved, Gavyn climbed from the bike and snagged the package Kayla had given him before he left early that morning. Along with a lecture only a sibling could deliver, like the closing arguments of a high-profile case, about what she thought was best for him. Oddly, her version had sounded a lot like what Roman argued as well.

Damn them for putting rogue ideas in his brain. It was better to forget and move on.

No. Strike that. To
go
on. He’d never forget. Not even the preposterous amount of alcohol he’d chugged that night had been able to erase the memory of sleeping with Amber from his warped mind, thank God.

Every night his dreams were filled with her in that gorgeous dress, and then out of it. The way she’d let him have control and enjoyed the hell out of it. Of her snuggled to his chest, sleeping in his arms.

Leaving that bed had easily been the stupidest decision he’d made in his life.

It wasn’t easy, but he battled the regret swamping him. Thanks to Amber, actually. The story she’d shared about her mom and her reaction to Mr. Brown’s death so many years ago had stuck with him too. If he was to do better for himself, he had to let that go.

Let
her
go.

As much as it hurt.

Because anything else would kill him.

Almost had.

Gavyn shook his head, concentrated on the good around him, including the adorable owls smiling up at him from the colorful package in his hands. The curly mass of ribbons on top reminded him of the rainbow at the Hot Rods’ wedding, probably on purpose. And he could smile at that memory.

So he did.

By the time he’d reached the maternity ward, he was in a better frame of mind. He paused at the plate-glass window on the nursery and put his hand on the pane, staring at the tiny babies inside. So much potential.

“Don’t waste it, tikes,” he said.

Then continued to the room number Roman had texted him.

Laughter and delighted coos echoed from it. He would have knocked on the door but someone, Bryce, was in the way. The place was packed with Hot Rods, practically spilling into the hallway to the chagrin of the passing nurses.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Rebel turned and grinned, putting out his hand as soon as he caught sight of Gavyn. The guy had a reputation for being polite and his manners certainly showed through now whether he liked it or not. “Come in.”

“Thanks.” Gavyn felt awkward with the warm greeting. He clasped Bryce’s hand on pure instinct alone. He wasn’t sure what to say, but he knew he had to say something as the people in the room parted, making a spot for him in their center.

“Hi, everyone,” he started, lamely.

A round of hellos, greetings and slaps on the back from the guys and hugs from the women nearby overwhelmed him with their positivity.

“Before we get to the fun stuff, I just wanted to say thank you to you all for helping me out when I hit rock bottom. Also that I’m sorry for fucking up your honeymoon.” He gulped thinking of how imperfect he’d made Amber’s event. Then he looked to Nola, who rested in the hospital bed. “And especially for hurting your sister.”

“That’s enough.” Eli, the shop owner, stopped him before he could grovel like he’d intended.

“It’s really not.” He shrugged. “I appreciate you being kind, though. I hope you know that if there’s anything I can ever do for you guys, you only have to ask.”

Quinn, who’d been hiding in the corner, piped up, “Will you teach me to ride a motorcycle? Alanso says I have to wait until I get my permit next year.”

As easy as that, Gavyn was laughing.

“Well, I wouldn’t dare cross Al. He can kick my ass.” He blocked the bald man’s mock-punch, loving that they weren’t treating him like a busted ride held together with duct tape. “What if I take you out on the back of my chopper as much you want while I’m in town? Then when you’re old enough, I’ll give you lessons on a real bike, not that crotch rocket your fellow Hot Rod prefers.”

That was good enough for the kid it seemed. He smiled then went back to playing video games on his portable console. “Sweet!”

“How long you staying?” Roman asked.

“I’m not sure yet.” He swallowed, then took a deep breath. “I was thinking about renting a room in that long-term motel over on 33. Kind of scoping out the area for shop locations. Maybe asking you guys to look at my plans some? Tell me if you think this is stupid or if it would interfere with what you’ve got going on, but I was thinking…maybe…it would be smart to open my place nearby since you’ve already put Middletown on the map for restorations.”

“That’s a great idea,” Nola said. Her opinion had scared him the most. He wouldn’t blame her if she hated him for disrespecting her sister. “We’re already adding on a merch room at the garage because of all the people who’ve been stopping in since the TV show got popular.”

Sabra smiled and nodded. “I could even slip in a few crossover segments on
Hot Rods
to get people interested.”

“Maybe you could do something with the name to affiliate the shops?” Bryce suggested.

“Hot Rides?” Eli added on to his friend’s thought.

Several of them smiled and nodded at that.

“I’d love to spend some time working on bikes,” Alanso added, surpassing Gavyn’s wildest hopes. “If you’ll have me, anyway. I could help out for fun—and bring the kid to learn some new stuff—until you’re drawing in enough business to hire a staff and don’t need us anymore.”

“Wow. That’s…” He couldn’t believe their generosity. “I can pay you.”

“Don’t piss us off,” Holden grumbled. “We’re glad to see you going forward.”

“Yeah, well, I learned the hard way that fear of failure only guarantees it’s gonna happen anyway.” He shook his head.

“That’s not an easy lesson.” Kaelyn reached out and rubbed his back. “We’re proud of you, Gavyn.”

He tried to look away, so he could blink his eyes against the burning in them, except there was no space to shift his gaze that another friend didn’t occupy. Not a bad problem to have.

“Thank you. Seriously.” He cleared his throat. “That’s not why I came, I hope you know.” Gavyn held the pretty package from the Powertools out to Nola. “This is. Congratulations.”

“I appreciate that.” She took the present, sitting up far enough that she could grab his hand too. Nola didn’t let go for a hell of a lot longer than necessary to transfer his cargo.

He squeezed her fingers lightly in return, hoping she really did understand how damn sorry he was. “Can I see your daughter?”

It wasn’t a formality. He genuinely wondered and wouldn’t be offended if they said no.

“If you leave here without holding her, I’ll be pissed,” Kaige said from where he was sitting by the window, rocking slowly, with a pink bundle nestled on his shoulder. A tiny thing.

Could there really be a miniature person in those blankets?

Suddenly he was nervous. “Ah, I’ve never done that before.”

“Neither had most of us,” Carver told him. “He’ll show you how to do it right. It’s worth it.”

“Um, okay.” Gavyn wasn’t sure he should be trusted with something so delicate and precious. But they were all looking at him, expecting him to man up, so he shuffled closer.

Super Nova stood, a giant smile making him look smug and content.

“Gavyn, I’d like you to meet Ambrose Wilhemina Davis.” He held out the baby, who squirmed a little then settled down, now magically snugged in the crook of Gavyn’s arm. “She’s named after my mom, Nola’s mom, and…well, Amber—her godmother.”

At his elbow, Sally adjusted his position slightly until the baby rested snugly in his arm. It surprised the hell out of him how easy and natural it felt to hold Ambrose.

“Just make sure you’ve got her neck supported and you’re great like that,” Mustang reassured him.

The infant weighed nothing. Her miniature fingers curled into the tiniest fist on earth. However, the punch she delivered to his gut was mighty.

“It’s a great name,” he said, though he couldn’t take his eyes off the child long enough to meet Kaige’s stare. An incredible tribute and a fantastic role model too, he thought.

“Well, at least it’s not as weird as Amber Brown,” Kaige teased. “I’m still not sure what Willie was thinking with that one. Double colors? Brownish McBrownster?”

“Why don’t you make fun of her choice while she’s within reach of beating you with her purse?” Holden dared.

“Hell no.” Kaige shook his head hard enough to make his dreads swing freely. “I’m not stupid. Amber Brown is a kickass name.”

Gavyn hung his head and scratched the back of his head with his free hand, wishing it wasn’t so painful to hear it aloud. To remember her smile. To see her resemblance in the tiny human he cradled and wonder if her children would look similarly adorable.

He thanked the universe for introducing him to her. After all, Amber had been the reason he’d finally been able to take sobriety seriously. Losing the best thing he’d ever almost had, well, that was pretty great motivation never to repeat the mistake.

For the first time, he wanted success for himself and believed he had the power to make it happen. A clean life, if a lonely one.

For that, he would always secretly love Amber.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there transfixed by Ambrose. It must have been a while. Eventually the baby fussed a bit and Nola took her to feed. He missed the slight mass in his arms.

When he looked around he spotted the hand-carved wooden rattle set the Powertools had made for Ambrose. All miniature replicas of the tools her mechanic family used daily. Kaige kept snapping pictures of them with his phone then passing them around for the rest of the Hot Rods to admire. Holden pretended to drill Sabra’s nipple with the miniature pneumatic wrench. It was impossible to make the Hot Rods grow up entirely, he thought, as he laughed along with the gang.

Gavyn noticed the daylight fading outside and thought of the things he had yet to do, swinging by the hotel being first on the list, then buying some clothes and essentials to hold him over for a few weeks.

“Hey, Gav?” Sabra called out as he inched toward the door.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you take this?” Before he could even ask what she meant, she tossed him a steel ring with a single key on it.

“What—?”

“My old place is still under lease. I didn’t move any of my furniture either. Haven’t had time to sell it with
Hot Rods
and everything else going on. There’s no reason you shouldn’t crash there.” She smiled. “In fact, I’ll be insulted if you say no.”

“I…” He looked around and found most of the Hot Rods nodding at him. “Okay. Great. This is so awesome. Thank you.”

Overwhelmed with their kindness, he didn’t know what else to say.

“So you’ll swing by the shop tomorrow?” Roman asked him quietly as he was near the door. “Come for dinner. Kaelyn’s cooking. It’ll be awesome. Then we can talk about your setup after.”

“Okay, what time?” Gavyn wondered if he was overstepping. He took a chance anyway. “Ah… Actually, if you want, I don’t have anything to do. I’d love to spend my time here on something productive. Maybe there’s stuff I could take care of around the garage during the day?”

Quinn—damn, that kid had selective hearing—snuck in another shot, still never looking up from his game. “You can take over my shit. Sweeping sucks. Taking out the trash too. Pumping gas for the hot moms from town who don’t want to get messy isn’t so bad, though. I’ll keep that one—and their tips.”