Touch the Heavens (13 page)

As an hour passed, lethargy stole upon Chris. She had slowly changed from her robe to a pair of comfortable jeans, a sweater of pale lavender to match her eyes and a light jacket of white trimmed in dark blue piping. Her ebony hair fell in soft planes around her face. Only the application of makeup took away her pallor. Putting the delicate pearl earrings in her earlobes, Chris added a touch of light perfume to her pulse points—anything to halt her spiraling depression. When Dan returned he was also in jeans, a plaid shirt and a dark brown leather jacket. He gave her a reassuring smile as he held out his hand to her. “Come on, Raven.”

She picked up her overnight bag and, without a word, slid into the Corvette. The sun was dipping below the western horizon, its long rays outlining the sagebrush and Joshua trees across the desert valley. Just being close to Dan helped assuage some of the raw pain she was experiencing. His hand rarely left hers as they drove out the gate of Edwards, heading toward Lancaster in the distance. Little by little, Chris felt herself stabilizing. Dan had made no effort to force her into conversation. The silence acted as a healing cocoon to her charged emotional state.

Darkness fell rapidly, and Chris continued to grope her way through the trauma. The lights of the Corvette stabbed into the blackness of the asphalt highway. Oddly, it brought a parallel to her mind about Dan and herself: he was like light in the darkness of her soul. He, more than any other man in her life, had unselfishly given her strength, encouragement and belief in herself. A new kind of warmth invaded her and she turned her head, looking at him as he drove.

“You’re a special man, Dan McCord,” she whispered.

He glanced at her, a tentative smile barely pulling at the corners of his mouth. “Think so? I forced you into reliving that incident.” He grimaced. “That’s like some jerk asking me to talk about my days in Vietnam. It’s a pretty ugly episode, and I wouldn’t want to drag it up again.”

Chris responded to the bitterness in his voice. “You had no choice,” she countered softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

He lifted her hand, kissing it. “That’s another one of your fine assets, Raven. You always forgive the other person.” His eyes were dark and searching as he looked over at her. “But more important, I want you to be able to forgive yourself. You were right in punching out. Jim was wrong. I’ve been in enough spins to know when to eject. And so had he. Let it go, Chris. It won’t bring him back.”

She winced at his gently spoken words. “You’re right.”

“Whether you want it or not,” he said firmly, “I’m going to be here to help you.”

Her lips curved into a tender smile. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

His eyebrow rose. “Sure?” he queried.

“Very sure.”

Dan sighed inwardly with relief. She was over the loss of Jim Rosen, the man she had loved. That admittance alone lifted the heaviness he had carried in his heart since finding out Chris had been engaged. He spotted a restaurant up ahead and pulled off the interstate. Parking, he turned, putting his arm to rest behind Chris’s shoulders. Shadows and light played across his strong, concerned face as he carefully observed her. “Look,” he said softly, “I feel like driving forever with you, Raven. I think we both need this time away from the base.” He leaned forward, caressing her silken hair, his fingers coming to rest beneath her chin. “You need this time.” His voice grew husky. “And I need the time with you.”

Chris trembled. The invitation was there, gently being offered to her on her own terms. Her lips parted and she closed her eyes, leaning against his cradling hand. “Yes,” she whispered fervently. “I wanted to be with you, Dan....” Gratefully, she felt him pull her forward. The instant his mouth brushed her waiting lips, she melted against him. A small cry was torn from her throat as his kiss deepened with tenderness.

As he drew away, his eyes smoldered with barely contained passion. He caressed her cheek. “Come on,” he said huskily. “We both could use a breather and some food.”

Chris didn’t dare trust her legs. She waited until Dan walked around, offering his hand to help her out of the car. It was so natural, leaning against him, his arm going around her waist, protecting her. He kissed her hair. “You’re an incredible creature,” he whispered against her ear. “I never realized how much courage you possess, Raven.”

She responded to his gently spoken admission by simply laying her head on his shoulder. Dinner was a quiet, intimate affair. The black leather booths were in the shape of crescents, effectively blotting out any nearby diners. She wasn’t hungry, but Dan forced her to eat a small salad. A smile came to her lips as the waitress brought the beef Stroganoff for Dan. He ladled some of it out in the small plate and put it in front of her.

“Eat,” he ordered.

She picked up the fork, holding his gaze. “When I first met you, I never thought you had so much sensitivity.”

He tilted his head, studying her. “Just thought I was some hot-rock jet jockey on the make like all the rest?”

“But you aren’t,” she returned, meaning it. Chris searched his relaxed features. There was a depth of peace in him that she longed to reach out and possess. There was no peace within her. There never had been. Dan gave her that serene feeling that no matter what storm she had yet to weather, she could do it if he was at her side. That thought shocked her into a new discovery about how she felt toward him. She had never relied heavily on anyone during her life. Up until now all those vague feelings of happiness had simmered deep within her every time she thought of Dan. He hadn’t forced or cajoled her to move any faster than was emotionally possible. Now, looking deep in his eyes, Chris felt the depth of his commitment to her. It left her shaken.

“We’re all complicated human beings,” he said in answer. “And I think test pilots are more so than most. Our Jekyll-Hyde personalities, if you will. What I’m like as an instructor pilot, I’m not necessarily like in my personal life.”

“I want to know the personal side of you,” she heard herself say. Chris blinked, shocked at herself. Suddenly she didn’t care if it was the right or wrong thing to admit. That was how she felt about Dan.

Dan gauged her in the gathering silence. “If I have my way, you will, Raven.” He reached over, capturing her hand momentarily. “And just as important, I want to explore and know the woman, Chris Mallory.”

She compressed her lips. “That’s dangerous, Dan....”

“I’m used to taking calculated risks with touchy aircraft. I’ll take my chances with you.”

That was true. Dan had proven he was able to deal with her better than any man in her past. She picked disinterestedly at the Stroganoff until Dan finished eating. Paying the bill, he led her out into the starry night. Even in April the cold winds were cutting across the high desert. Dan drew her close, walking slowly toward the car. “While we were sitting in there, I got an idea,” he said. “You know what I’d like to do?” he asked, kissing her temple.

She shook her head, looking up into his face. “What?”

“Head north on the interstate toward the sequoias that sit above Bakersfield. I’d like to share tomorrow up in the mountains with you, just hiking or sitting and watching the world go by.”

Chris slowed to a halt, slipping her arms around his neck, pressing her body against him. Right now, more than at any point in her life, she realized the importance of living for the moment. She would not continue living in the past because that was dead and gone. “All right,” she agreed huskily. “Let’s do it.”

His eyes widened briefly, surprise written in their depths. His arms tightened around her waist. “Going to throw caution to the wind?” he asked, a smile beginning to tug at his strong, mobile mouth.

“I think it’s about time I did.”

“Sure?”

Chris leaned up, brushing his mouth with her lips. “Very sure,” she whispered against them. “Take me away, Dan,” she breathed. “All I want to do is be with you.”

* * *

I
T WAS NEAR
eleven at night when they finally stopped. A motel situated near the base of the Sierra Nevada had looked inviting.

Dan came back to the Corvette, leaning down to speak to her. “They’ve got a single left,” he said, watching the play of shadows across her exhausted features. “What do you want to do? We could keep going and —”

Chris wearily rubbed her eyes. “I’m too tired to go on, Dan.”

Darkness lingered in his blue eyes. “Raven, I’m no saint. I won’t promise to keep my hands off you if we sleep together,” he admitted gruffly.

Chris looked up at him. “Then I’m in good company, because I’m far from sainthood myself.”

Dan managed a deprecating smile. “As tired as we both are, we’ll probably be asleep the instant we hit the pillow.” He reached out, giving her shoulder a firm squeeze. “Hang on, and I’ll sign us in.”

The room was small but cozy, the rough paneling reminding her of a log cabin. The intimacy between them both remained strong and unbroken. Perhaps under ordinary circumstances Chris would have been nervous or worried. But she was fatigued to the point where her mind refused to work any more. Dan noticed her sluggish movements and took over, getting the shower started and then urging her into the bathroom.

“Go on,” he coaxed, handing her the overnight bag. “I’m going out to lock the car and get a map from the motel manager. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Chris nodded. The warmth of the shower increased the exhaustion that stole into her mind and body. Slipping into the floor-length nightgown, she stepped from the bathroom fifteen minutes later. Dan was sitting on the chair, intently studying the map of the sequoia region when she padded into the room.

He lifted his head, his eyes intent upon her. Chris was immobilized by his hungry, disturbing look. She was drained, yet her entire body reacted instantly, the desire mirrored in Dan’s gaze. Without a word Dan put the map aside and stood, coming over to her.

“You look positively beautiful,” he breathed. The silk gown molded to each curve of her body, the plunging neckline revealing the shadowed valley between her breasts. Her hair was damp, the blue black tresses framing her pale face, her eyes the richest hue of violet he had ever seen. He leaned over, kissing her lips like a brush touching canvas. “Get in bed before you fall over,” he commanded huskily. “I’ll be joining you in a little while.”

Her heart pulsed heavily in her chest as his light kiss stirred her desire for him. Dan gave her a pat on the rear and Chris turned, catching the twinkle in his blue eyes. He made her happy by just being himself. Sliding in between the cool sheets, she wondered when a bed had ever felt so good as her eyes began to close. She had meant to turn off the light, but had forgotten. Seconds and minutes seemed like unrelenting hours as Dan showered. She was nervous, excited and aching to fulfill their collision course destiny. Yet, despite everything, her black lashes dropped closed, and Chris slid into the abyss of sleep despite her intentions to stay awake.

She was pulled briefly from sleep when Dan joined her in bed. Chris groaned, rolling onto her back, forcing her eyes open. Her black lashes barely rested against her cheeks as she gazed up at Dan. There was a thoughtful, concerned look in his eyes as he studied her. She was wildly aware of the naked length of his body against her own; the thin cotton of his drawstring pajamas the only barrier between her and his lower body. Reaching over, he snapped off the light and then brought her close.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep—”

Dan pulled up the remaining cover to ward off the chill of the April night. “No apologies needed,” he said huskily. “Go back to sleep, Raven. Neither of us is in any shape to share the moment.”

Sleepily Chris snuggled into the crook of his arm, a new sense of comfort surrounding her. “If you’re bucking for sainthood—”

Dan gave a low laugh, settling back, giving her a reassuring embrace. “Not sainthood, just common sense under the circumstances. Go to sleep,” he ordered gruffly.

* * *

C
HRIS NUZZLED LIKE
a lost lamb, seeking the warming embrace of the arms that held her during sleep. Slowly she fought off her drowsy state. She was lying against Dan, her body fitted perfectly to him. Her head on the crook of his shoulder, Chris heard the drumlike beat of his steady heart in his broad chest. During the night, she had snuggled close, one arm and leg thrown across Dan’s lean, muscular body. His skin was heated and fragrant, and she inhaled his scent. Small silken hair that spread like a carpet across his chest tickled her nose, making her wrinkle it to halt the itching. Moonlight streamed through the loose-weave drapes, lending the room a muted radiance.

She felt rested, having no idea how long she had slept. And when had Dan come to bed? Chris inhaled deeply, aware only of the peace that enveloped her. Looking up, she breathed in with awe. Dan’s face was devoid of the usual tension. Lines no longer appeared at the corners of his eyes or around his mouth. In fact, he looked years younger when he was relaxed. And for a moment she felt distressed because the school was just as hard, if not more demanding, on the instructors as on the students. The responsibility that rode upon Dan’s broad shoulders was not to be taken lightly.

Reaching up, Chris allowed her fingertips to brush the bridge of his nose, which had a small bump on it. Had he broken it as a young boy? She allowed her imagination to recreate Dan’s childhood. He had worked on a ranch in Texas. Had he broken his nose by falling off a calf, or off a horse that needed breaking or by getting into a scrap with another boy? That thought made her smile tenderly as she continued to trace the planes of his face. Her fingertips returned to his strong, pliant mouth. She loved it when Dan smiled or teased her mercilessly, always drawn to the need to kiss him there.

Obeying the command of her needs for Dan, Chris leaned up, tentatively brushing her lips against his mouth. His skin was warm to the touch, inviting. Suddenly Chris felt him shift, gently lifting her and placing her protectively beneath him. Her eyes widened as she stared up into his. There were remnants of sleep in the azure blueness coupled with the warmth of his desire and tenderness. Her heart expanded and she reached up, sliding her arms around his neck, drawing him down upon her.