Towards a Dark Horizon (12 page)

Dad was very fond of her as she was such a lovely person. But Connie, who really knew men, always said it was the outer wrapping that men went for – no matter how shrewish or sharp was the core.

Rosie had been talking and I realised with a feeling of guilt that I hadn’t been listening. She gave me a prod. ‘What do think, Ann?’

I stared at her. What was she talking about?

‘Ann, do you think your Dad likes me?’

‘Of course he does, Rosie. Why are you asking?’

She blushed a deep shade of red. Although she was in her forties, it gave her a girlish, naive look and I suddenly felt so sorry for her. If I could have given Dad a sharp kick at that moment, then I would have gladly done it.

She lowered her voice although it was hardly necessary with all the loud merriment in the room. ‘If I tell you something, Ann, will you keep it to yourself?’

For a brief wild moment I thought Dad had already proposed to her. I nodded eagerly.

‘Well, I’ve just been thinking that I’m not going to wait any longer on your Dad asking me to marry him.’

She stopped and bit her lip while my mind was in a turmoil. Was Rosie telling me she had found someone else?

She glanced around the room as if umpteen pairs of ears were listening. When she was satisfied they weren’t, she went on, ‘It’s like this. We’re now at the end of another year and there’s been no approach from him so I thought I would take the bull by the horns and ask
him
to marry
me
. I’ll do the proposing.’

I was so astonished that I almost burst out laughing but her face was deadly serious.

‘I work with this pal of mine in the mill and she was telling me that, one Hogmanay, she asked her bloke to marry her because she was fed up waiting for him to make the first move.’

‘And did he marry her, Rosie?’

Her face lit up. ‘Aye, that’s the best part. Seemingly he was too shy to ask her and he was glad she had taken the initiative. She told me that’s what I should do.’

I was very dubious. I glanced over to where Dad was standing with his pals and they were roaring with laughter. Apart from his initial greeting to Rosie, he hadn’t bothered with her company all night. Quite honestly, he didn’t seem to be pining away with love for her or, for that matter, too shy to proclaim it.

The last thing I wanted was for her to get hurt. She was too nice a person for that. I wondered if Dad would accept her proposal. I couldn’t see it. Although this was what the entire family wanted to see, I always thought, if he did marry her it would be because of friendship and affection. Was he totally and madly in love with her? Sadly the answer was no.

She was gazing at me with her clear brown eyes while trying to tuck the unruly hair back into place. ‘Well, what do you think, Ann?’

What did I think? What did I know about men? Precious little which made me the last person to advise her. I wished that Connie could be here. She was a fount of knowledge when it came to people. Although never getting married herself, she had seen so many human emotions over her long years in the shop that she was an expert – at least in my opinion.

Rosie was waiting eagerly for my answer. ‘I can’t tell you what to do because I don’t know what’s in Dad’s mind.’ That was the truth.

‘He must have given you a clue, Ann. Does he mention me a lot in the house. I mean we meet up most nights and we get on well enough. Surely he’s said something to you?’

‘He’s never mentioned marriage to me Rosie.’ Her face fell.

I didn’t want to hurt her so I hurried on quickly. ‘But that’s not to say that he doesn’t think about it himself.’

Her mind was made up. ‘Right, then, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll catch him later when he’s on his own.’

Blast it, I thought. I couldn’t let her make such a big mistake. Dad might accept but on the other hand he could turn her down with his own brand of humour. Knowing him, he might take her proposal with a laugh and not treat it in a serious way.

I didn’t know what to do.

She smoothed her wrinkled frock and squared her shoulders.

Oh, no, she was going to tackle him now. I grabbed her arm. ‘Rosie, you did ask for my advice, didn’t you?’

She nodded, her eyes wary.

‘Well, I think you should wait a bit longer before asking him. It may have worked with your pal but I don’t think it’ll work with Dad. Honestly, I think you should think it over again and bide your time – at least till next Hogmanay – and, if he hasn’t asked you by then, well go ahead with your plan.’

She looked as if she was about to cry. ‘Next Hogmanay, Ann. That’s another year away.’

‘Well, you did ask me, Rosie, and that’s what I advise. For all you know, he’ll maybe ask you to marry him soon. Maybe he’s got something up his sleeve that we don’t know about. I mean he could maybe be on the point of making a romantic proposal like the ex-King.’

Poor Rosie – her eyes were wet with unshed tears and her romantic notion of being another Wallis Simpson was dashed.

‘Right, then, Ann, I’ll do what you say and I just hope he’ll not be long in asking me. Otherwise, I’m asking him and I don’t promise to wait till next Hogmanay.’

It was the best I could hope for and, to my relief, she was no longer on the point of asking him now. Then, suddenly, I had doubts. Had I done the right thing? Maybe Dad was shy of making that first move and maybe he would have welcomed Rosie taking the initiative.

A crowd of people had just entered the room and I noticed a couple of women from the next close. Dad gave them both a kiss that looked so passionate that I was embarrassed for both myself and Rosie. Then they all laughed and I realised I hadn’t been wrong in warning her away – at least for the time being.

Why did he have to be such a flirt? What he really needed in his life was a woman who would be just like him and do the same thing back – not sweet and adoring cow-eyed Rosie.

Rosie drifted off towards the crowd that surrounded Dad while I went to put Lily to her bed. She was in her element, going around the room and wishing everyone a happy New Year. Granny saw me take her towards her tiny room in the lobby and she came to give me a hand. The room, although minuscule, was functional and just big enough for her bed. It was also reasonably quiet. The noise from the kitchen seemed like the faraway sound of the sea.

Lily was exhausted. She had wanted to stay up but she was asleep in minutes.

I said to Granny, ‘I don’t see Hattie. Is she not coming?’

Granny shook her head. ‘No, she has to work at the Pringles’ house tomorrow. You know how they aye have a crowd of their relations on New Year’s Day?’

I nodded. How well I remembered an earlier time when Maddie was annoyed at having to play the piano to entertain them instead of coming to Lochee with Danny and me.

‘Danny is not here either,’ I said sadly.

‘I know. I really thought we would get a visit from him as he never misses a Hogmanay at the Overgate but, to tell the truth, Ann, I’ve hardly set eyes on him this year.’

I told her of my earlier sighting of him. ‘I hope he didn’t see Maddie with Colin. I’m not sure how long he was standing across the road.’

Granny patted my hand. ‘Well, we can’t do any more to help him, Ann, so don’t worry about it.’

But I was worried – especially when he hadn’t turned up here. He always first-footed his grandparents and I couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t. Was he visiting the Ryan family?

Granny was talking about Bella. ‘Maybe I should have sent her packing when she came to the door but I didn’t have the heart. She is my sister, after all, and we go back a long time together.’

I agreed with her but added, ‘I’m not having her putting wrong ideas in Lily’s head. As you know, we’ve had a terrible time with her and we didn’t know what was wrong.’

‘I’ll make sure she behaves herself in the future, Ann.’ She sat by the side of the bed with a strange faraway look in her eyes. When she spoke it was in a whisper. ‘I’m going to tell you something that not a lot of folk know. She wasn’t always like this. In fact, she was the life and soul of any party and she was such a bonny lassie. Then she lost her fiancé in an accident.’

I gasped. ‘I didn’t know this.’

‘No, she doesn’t like to speak about it. He was a sailor and he was drowned on one of his voyages.’

Suddenly I felt so sorry for Bella. Miss Hood from the Ferry had also lost out on love and so had Bella. What a great shame for them both! They had both dealt with their loss in different ways. Miss Hood with her mental illness that had turned her violent and Bella who was a true hypochondriac with all the imagined worries on her shoulders.

I went to get my coat. The kitchen was still noisy with laughter and singing. Dad was in fine form but I noticed Rosie wasn’t with him. I saw her sitting with Bella and they were having a great conversation by the look of it. I just hoped Rosie wasn’t asking for the same advice she had sought from me. Knowing Bella, her answer would be different from mine.

Now I knew the story of her lost love I felt a deep sympathy for her and all my past annoyance of her evaporated. I went over and took her podgy hand. ‘Happy New Year, Bella.’ I bent over and kissed the dry skin on her cheek.

She looked astonished but her tired eyes lit up. ‘The same to you and Lily.’

I thought there were tears in her eyes but I wasn’t sure. I left her sitting with Rosie and I went through the door. I didn’t go over to Dad because it would mean pushing past a load of people and I didn’t fancy that because they were all in high spirits.

The town was still abuzz with noise and merriment. As I walked along the dark streets I kept bumping into revellers. Thankfully, they were all in good humour but I dreaded meeting any who were really drunk. As it was, I made my way safely home. When I opened the door, I saw a light and I mentally scolded myself for leaving the gas lamp on.

Then I saw him. He was sitting by the fire and gazing into the flames.

‘Danny! What on earth are you sitting here for? Granny is looking for you.’

He turned away from the shadows and I was surprised by his expression. Gone was the haunted look and he seemed to be back to his old self. ‘I didn’t feel like celebrating, Ann. I’ll go over to Lochee as usual but that’s different.’

‘Why is it different, Danny?’

He gave this a bit of thought. ‘Well, I mean it’ll be another day and I know the Ryans will not keep wishing me a happy New Year when I know it’ll not be.’

I understood what he was saying. I had felt the same many a year – starting off with hopes and dreams, only to find the new year wasn’t any better than the old one.

‘Anyway, it’s lovely to see you, Danny.’ I was on the point of asking about the earlier sighting but he beat me to it.

‘I didn’t come over earlier because I saw Maddie.’

My heart sank. Oh no, I thought. What a disaster.

‘I saw her leave with a man. They were fair togged up to the nines, were they not?’

‘Maddie was going to a New Year Ball, Danny. Her parents had asked her to take Colin who’s just started work in her Dad’s office.’

‘Colin,’ he said softly.

‘Aye but it’s just a business arrangement, Danny. She’s not in love with him.’

He changed the subject. ‘I was speaking to your dad tonight and he was telling me about the horrors of the war. He told me to try and forget about my dad and start this year on a new footing.’

So Dad had kept his promise. ‘That’s wonderful, Danny. I’m so pleased you feel like this after all your trauma.’

‘Well, your dad said the whole war was just a catalogue of horrors from start to finish and my dad was just unlucky to have met one horror too many.’

I was delighted by this news. Did it mean the engagement was on again?

As if reading my thoughts he smiled ruefully. ‘You know something, Ann? I was going to get in touch with Maddie this week and beg her to forgive me and try to forget the dirty rotten thing I did to her but I see now that she’s found somebody else.’

I was shocked. ‘No, no, Danny, she hasn’t. You’ve got to believe me.’

‘No, it’s better this way, Ann. She’ll be much happier with somebody from her own class. I’ve aye wondered what she saw in me to tell the truth.’

I wasn’t going to leave it like this. The next day, the first thing I was going to do was visit Perth Road and tell Maddie this good news.

Danny looked at me. He knew what I was thinking. ‘Now, I don’t want you to interfere, Ann. I’ve made up my mind to let Maddie and Colin enjoy their friendship.’ He looked sternly at me. ‘Now promise me.’

Much against my will, I promised. I asked myself why Maddie had to turn up here tonight – and with another man.

Danny gave me a wave as he headed through the door and I had the terrible feeling that 1937 wasn’t going to be a good year for any of us.

With that feeling of foreboding, I went to bed but I certainly didn’t sleep.

At about three o’clock in the morning, Dad arrived with his crowd of pals and they didn’t leave till daylight.

I met Maddie at the end of January. It was a cold wet day of squally showers with brief spells of sunshine – more like April than January I thought. Lily had wanted to come with me but she had a bad cold and Granny made her stay inside. I promised her a new colouring book and crayons on my return so she was pleased by this bribe and settled beside the fire.

Our little tearoom was full of people so we headed for the coffee lounge in Draffen’s department store. I hadn’t been back there since my first visit with Maddie a few years ago and I couldn’t help but notice the difference in our roles. On that occasion she had been the one in charge and I had been out of my depth. Now, although she wasn’t out of her depth, it was clear she relied on me to listen to her.

The waitress appeared – a small dumpy-looking woman with frizzy fair hair and round wire-framed glasses. She peered at us. Maddie took ages to make up her mind then I realised her mind was a million miles away.

‘I’ll have a pot of tea, Miss,’ I said, in the hope of bringing Maddie from her daydream. It worked.

‘Coffee please,’ she said.

I could almost hear the waitress mutter about reading the menu like a book then settle on two words. However, I wasn’t here to enjoy the foibles of Draffen’s staff. It was a serious time and I didn’t know what to say to her. I began with the infirmary. ‘What are you doing now, Maddie?’