Toxic (Addiction #1) (36 page)

“Please, Rook, please tell me. I want to know.”

“You’re too pretty to know about my childhood,” Rook said with a fake smile.

“I’m not buying it. Please Rook.”

He blew out a frustrated breath and placed his forehead against hers. She could tell he was struggling, so she rubbed his bare chest, trying to make him feel warm and safe. She lifted his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. He reciprocated the soft kiss, not taking it to another level. They both reveled in the comfort they were able to provide for each other.
 

“I don’t like reliving it, boo.”

“I know, babe.” She kissed him again. “I just want to understand you better. I’ll never ask you again. Please let me in.” She patted his chest, letting him know she wanted all the way into his heart, not just partially.
 

He looked up at her and traced her cheek with his finger. His palm cupped her cheek, causing her to lean into his touch and kiss his palm. He was such a broken man, deflated most of the time and tired. She wanted to make him feel better; she wanted to take on some of the burden he had been living with for so long.
 

“My dad wasn’t your typical working man who came home at night, stripped his pants off and sat in front of the TV while his wife slipped his slippers on and kissed him on the cheek. He never had a steady job and money was scarce, so food in the house was a luxury and wondering if I was actually going to eat was an everyday occurrence.”

The thought of a little boy who looked like Rook, trying to find something to eat for the day made a tear slip past Maisy’s cheek. Her dad might have been an animal but she was always fed, she had the basic necessities to survive.
 

“Rook…”

“I told you, you don’t want to hear this.”

Maisy swiped away a tear. “Please tell me. I’m sorry, I just can’t stand the thought of you as a little boy with no food.”

“That wasn’t even the worst of it.”

She kissed his lips and wrapped her body closer to him, trying to spread her warmth to him.
 

“Tell me.”

Running a hand through his hair, he continued. “My mom was never around because she spent most of her time on the street corner either scoring deals for my dad or taking men home so she could make some money to pay off my dad’s debts. If I think about it now, I guess my mom was trying to help out the family, but she could have done it in a different way. Instead of feeding my dad’s habit she could have taken me away from the situation.”

“Anyway, doesn’t matter now.” Maisy kissed him again while rubbing his shoulders. “My dad loved his cocaine, crack and heroin. He really dabbled in everything when I was young. He sticks to coke these days. He said he had to slow down.” Rook let out a disdainful laugh. “What a fuckhead.”

“He never overdosed?” Maisy asked.
 

“Never enough to kill the sick bastard, unfortunately. He would come home from working the streets and lay his loot out on the coffee table. Then he’d call me over and teach me about the differences in the drugs, the kind of highs you would get from them and the different ways to use them.”

Maisy’s mouth dropped open. “How old were you?”

“I was only eight for my first educational drug lesson.”

Maisy’s chest tightened. At eight, she was still living a pretty normal life. She had dolls to play with and was learning how to read, not what kind of drug would give her the best high.
 

“My dad thought it was necessary for me to learn because he wanted me to go out on the streets for him when I got older. So, he would show me what good coke looked like, how to look for clean needles and how to tell if his pot was laced with anything that could be somewhat damageable.”

“That’s terrible.”
 

“That’s not even the half of it. My dad would come home, toss his loot on the table and call me into the living room. He would pick his drug of choice for the night and it was my job to prepare it for him. I would line up his coke for him, load his bong, prepare his needles or grab some alcohol for him to swallow whatever magical pill he had found that day. I got pretty good at preparing his drug consumption, the only thing I absolutely hated doing was shooting him up. I hated those nights.”

“Wait, you actually shot him up with drugs?

“Heroin to be exact. I hated needles and so did he, but he loved the feeling of it; it was actually his drug of choice for a while. Since he hated needles so much, he made me do it.” Rook laughed sardonically. “An eight year old should never be able to find his father’s vein and shoot him up with drugs. Most of the time, I had to shoot him up between his damn toes because his other veins were too fucked up. The shitty thing was, if I refused to do it, he would beat me until I blacked out; instead of going through that, I just shot him up and fed his habit.”

Maisy couldn’t believe what Rook was telling her. He was in charge of getting his dad high every night and if he didn’t, he would get beaten. Maisy’s heart twisted. He was right, she didn’t want to hear about his past; it was too much for her to handle. She just kept picturing a younger version of Rook with those bright blue eyes, trying to understand why his dad was making him do such foul things to him.
 

“How come you never did the same drugs as him?” Maisy wanted to ask because the only drugs she saw Rook use were shrooms, pot, and pills on occasion.

“I did…once.”

“When?”

“When I was twelve, my dad scored a block of coke and was so damn excited that he made me line up five hits plus one to the side. He told me that one was for me. I didn’t want it and told him that, which wasn’t the best decision of my life. He punched me across the face and told me to snort it or I was never going to see the light of day again. So, I snorted his coke. That night I spent at the toilet, throwing up constantly and trying to gain my bearings. I blacked out a couple of times. Apparently it was shit coke because the next morning I walked out to find my dad surrounded by his own puke as well. That was the last time I ever tried any of his drugs.”

“If you hate your dad so much, then why do you even drink and do drugs now…or, well, used to?”

Rook shrugged. “It’s all I knew and I found that at least they were a temporary numbing agent for the pain that throbbed through my body every day. When I tell you that I owe my life to my boys, it’s true. They’re the reason why I’m still alive, Cruz especially. He took me in and gave me some security. I will forever be grateful to him, even though, at times, I want to knock his face off.”

“I’m grateful too.” Maisy kissed Rook on the lips. “I’m so grateful you didn’t give up. You could have taken the easy way out, but you fought and now I get to have you.”

“I didn’t fight,” Rook said as he looked down. “I took the easy way out and followed in my father’s footsteps.”

Maisy lifted Rook’s head so he was forced to look her in the eyes.
 

“The hell you did. You made something of yourself. You’re nothing like your dad, so don’t even say that. Your dad wouldn’t put down his drugs and alcohol for your mom. He made her work for money so he could feed his own disgusting habit. Unlike you; you gave up those things for me. You gave them up…for me…for us.”

Rook nodded his head before he buried it into her shoulder. She hugged him tightly as he did the same. They stayed like that for a while, just soaking in each other’s warmth. She wanted to show him that even though he had a shitty father and a rough childhood, there was still hope for him, for him to be loved and to have a normal life.
 

“Where is he now?” Maisy asked.

“Who knows? He shows up occasionally, tweaked as fuck and begging for money. He always tries to tell me that I would be nowhere without him. I used to give him money to get him to go away; all he ever cared about was my money, never about me. The boys got sick of that routine because whenever my dad would come around, I would go on a giant bender so they started getting security to take care of my dad, which I’m grateful for.”

“Good,” Maisy said while kissing him again, this time more thoroughly. She shifted on his lap, causing friction to take place and she felt the stirring of Rook’s erection. She smiled at him, reveling in the fact that she could turn him on so easily.
 

“Thank you, baby,” he muttered, as he kissed her.

He didn’t have to say for what. She knew exactly what he was thanking her for. Instead of talking, she took off her shirt and let him take over her naked body with his guitar-calloused hands. They both needed to lose themselves in each other’s bodies. They needed to show each other that even though they were both fucked up, they had each other, understood each other and were living for one another now.
 

***

The smell of coffee filtered through Willow’s bunk. Her body instinctively flopped her legs out of her high bed and started moving toward the deliciously addictive smell.
 

“Coffee…” she moaned as her eyes were barely open, reaching for a coffee mug. She unfortunately at that moment saw her reflection in the microwave door and nearly scared the crap out of herself.
 

“Jesus,” she muttered, while lifting the burning liquid to her mouth.
 

“Rough night, sweet cheeks?” Cruz asked from one of the sofas, nearly scaring the living piss out of her.
 

Cruz, Landon and Kaid were all sitting in the living room, drinking coffee and devouring a box of donuts while eyeing her up and down. She took in her appearance and, if she wasn’t so hung over, she would have been ashamed, but at the moment she didn’t have any will to care. At least her girly bits were covered, that’s all that mattered.
 

Willow thought for a second and reached her hand down to see if she really was covered.
 

“Yes, you’re wearing pants,” Kaid said, while laughing. “They’re on backwards but you’re wearing them.”

Willow flipped him off and grabbed a donut while taking a seat next to Landon. He seemed like the nicest one out of the three at the moment.
 

“You smell like pig shit,” Landon said as she sat down.

Maybe not.

“You three are peaches this morning.”

“We could say the same about you.” Cruz said, while shoving an entire donut in his mouth. Willow couldn’t deny it, she was slightly impressed, grossed out, but impressed.
 

“Rough night.”

Kaid grabbed a donut and twirled it on his finger. “Why were you drinking by yourself last night? You could have at least invited us.”

Willow shook her head. “You’ll never fucking believe what happened last night.”

All three guys had smiles plastered on their faces as they leaned in for some juicy details.
 

“Let me guess, you heard Maisy and Rook,” Kaid said, while rolling his eyes.
 

“Well yeah, but that always happens. That’s not it.”

“A guy showed his dick to you backstage and begged you to suck it off with your tongue ring?” Landon asked while leaning forward and wiggling his eyebrows. Willow pushed his head back and shook her head no.
 

“I know, you totally got some lesbian action. That would be so fucking hot,” Cruz said while spitting out crumbs of his donut.

“That would be,” Landon added.
 

“She did not get lesbian action,” Kaid argued. “Willow doesn’t float that way.”

All the guys looked at her and she looked down at her coffee mug, not wanting to tell them her story now.
 

“Holy shit!” Cruz laughed.
 

“Jesus.” Kaid shook his head.
 

Willow stopped any further comments. “Before you guys build up a bunch of ideas in your head, let me set the record straight. Nothing really happened.”

“Nothing really happened?” Kaid asked, stressing the word really.
 

“No…”

“But?” Landon asked.

“No but.”

“Oh hell, just tell us what happened,” Kaid said, annoyingly.
 

“Fine. I was getting dressed…”

“Oh yeah,” Cruz smile and nodded.
 

“Please leave all perverted comments until the end of the story.” All three men nodded. “Like I was saying, I was getting dressed and Quinn walked in.” Willow held up her hand before the guys could comment. They shut their mouths and she continued. “She was helping me pick out clothes and started going on about getting a boob job, needless to say we were both in our bras when Grey walked in.”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Landon said. “You were with Quinn and Grey?”

“Let her finish,” Cruz said, while rubbing his hands together. “I can tell this is going to be good.”

“It was fucking weird, that’s what it was.” The guys motioned for her to continue. “Anyway, one minute Quinn is yelling at Grey because he’s not hard from touching her breasts and then the next thing I know, Quinn is behind me, Grey has his hands on my hips and Quinn is taking my bra off.”