Tracie Peterson (41 page)

“Do your people bathe during times of mourning?” Darlene asked hesitantly.

Bridgett’s expression contorted. “My people?”

Darlene twisted her hands anxiously and rephrased her question. “Do Christians take baths … well, that is to say … is it all right to take a bath after a loved one has died?”

Bridgett looked at her strangely for a moment. “They take a bath whenever it suits them. Cleanliness is next to godliness or so my mother says.”

Darlene nodded, feeling torn between old traditions and new. Well, she’d put aside the bacon, so perhaps accepting the bath wasn’t too bad. After all, Bridgett said it was perfectly acceptable. Slipping out of the gown, she handed it to the maid and stepped into the tub.

Darlene sank into the hot water with a grateful smile on her face. She let the water come over her shoulders and finally dipped her head below and enjoyed the sensation of warmth. She was at peace and her heart, though heavy for the passing of her father, was not worried. She allowed her mind to think of Abraham and of the happiness he’d had in knowing that she’d found Jesus. It was the most important decision she could ever make, he’d told her once. And now she knew for herself that it was.

After her bath, Bridgett reappeared with a fresh gown of soft-pink lawn and a robe to match. After helping Darlene dress, Bridgett took her to a chair beside the fireplace and proceeded to dry her long wet hair. Darlene had never known such care and thoroughly enjoyed the pampering. It wasn’t long before Bridgett had the long, tangled mess dry and brushed to a shining, orderly fashion. They agreed to leave it down before Bridgett led Darlene back to bed, where fresh linens and covers replaced the smoke-scented ones from the night before.

She’d barely gotten back into bed when the door was flung open and Eugenia Blackwell swept into the room.

“That’s enough, Bridgett. You may go,” she said in her haughty, superior way.

Bridgett bobbed again and hurried from the room, taking Darlene’s towels with her. Eugenia frowned at her for a moment, leaving Darlene to feel rather intimidated. She thought perhaps she should say something, but couldn’t imagine what it might be.

“Well, I see you have composed yourself,” Eugenia said, staring down at Darlene.

“Yes, you’ve all been very kind to help me.”
There,
thought Darlene.
I’ve said something complimentary and surely she’ll realize I only mean to be a congenial guest.

“Yes, of course. But then, what else could we do? It wasn’t as if we had a choice.”

Darlene frowned. “Mr. Blackwell assured me it was no trouble.”

“But he would say that, my dear. That’s how it is done in proper society.”

Darlene cringed inside at the coldness in her voice. It was clearly evident that Eugenia did not share her brother’s hospitality toward Darlene.

“May I be frank with you?” Eugenia suddenly asked.

This surprised Darlene, who thought Eugenia had done quite a complete job of that up till now, without seeking anything closely resembling permission. “Of course,” she finally managed to say.

Eugenia took up the chair vacated earlier by her brother. Sitting across from Darlene, she maintained her rigid, austere posture and frowned. “You must understand that what I am about to say should remain strictly confidential.” Darlene nodded and Eugenia continued. “I am, of course, quite sorry to learn of your father’s death. However, your presence in this house creates a bit of a problem for us. I find my nephew easily confused by you and because of this he has begun to question the things that should matter most in his life.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Darlene said in complete confusion.

“But I’m sure you do,” she replied rather snidely. “Pierce fancies himself in love with you. Whether or not he’s mentioned this to you is of little concern to me. Eventually he will come to his senses and you will be forgotten. Pierce will marry Amanda Ralston, a woman chosen for him by his father and myself. Amanda is of a proper New York family and can offer Pierce much by their marriage.” Darlene felt as though Eugenia had actually struck her a blow. “You, my dear, simply cannot be so heartless as to want Pierce to give up the things that make him happiest.”

“Certainly not.”

Eugenia smiled rather stiffly. “I’m glad to hear you say it. Therefore, you will understand when I say, also, that you cannot remain in this house. Pierce will continue to be confused by you and I’m afraid that if you remain, his father will have no other choice but to cut him off entirely. This would be a grave tragedy.”

“But, I thought, well …” Darlene fell silent. She wasn’t about to try to explain her thoughts to Eugenia Blackwell Morgan. The woman obviously could not care less that her words had pierced Darlene through to the soul.

“The kindest thing you can do is to leave as soon as possible. Don’t make a scene and don’t even say goodbye. I will give you assistance in reaching whatever destination you like.”

“But I have no one now and Mr. Blackwell is arranging my father’s funeral. I certainly can’t just walk away from that.”

“I suppose you are right,” Eugenia said, as if only considering this for the first time. “After the funeral then. I will come to you and supply you with the proper funds. You can take yourself to a hotel until you find somewhere to board permanently.” She got to her feet, acting as though the matter was entirely resolved. “You can only mean disaster to Pierce, and if you care at all about his well-being, you will go as soon as possible and give him nothing more to dwell on.”

Darlene wanted to scream at her to mind her own business, but frankly the shock of Eugenia’s forward nature was more than enough to silence her. She was still staring at the chair Eugenia had just vacated when a loud knock on her bedroom door signaled yet another visitor.

“Come in.”

Pierce burst through the door with a huge smile on his face. “Father just told me your news. Darlene, I’m overwhelmed.” He paused for a moment as though stricken by her appearance. “You are so beautiful!” he declared.

Darlene tried to smile, but Eugenia’s words came back to haunt her. Perhaps she was bad for Pierce and perhaps her love for him would spell disaster if left unchecked.

Pierce crossed the room and took hold of her hands. Raising each one to his lips he kissed first one and then the other. “I’m very happy that you’ve accepted Jesus as your Savior. I can’t begin to tell you how I’ve prayed for this very thing.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I remember you said you would pray for me to know the truth. Before Tateh died, he helped me see that truth for myself.”

Pierce pulled up the chair so that it touched the side of the bed. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am that he’s gone. I wanted so much for you and your father to come west with me. I even secured a physician to travel with us. He’s a man of your own people who also believes in Jesus.”

The idea that Pierce would do this for her father deeply touched Darlene. “How very kind.”

“I suppose I had my motives,” he grinned. “I wanted to leave no stone unturned, so to speak. I wanted there to be no arguments, nothing that would stand in the way of your coming along. Now that he’s dead, I realize you will feel his loss very profoundly, but I know, too, that you need to make decisions about your own future. A future I hope will include me.”

Darlene lowered her face and looked at her hands. Eugenia’s cold eyes and haughty stare seemed to be all that she could think of.

“I know this is a bit overwhelming, and I won’t say another word on the matter until after the funeral. I just want you to have heart and be assured that you needn’t worry for tomorrow.” He leaned over and surprised her by kissing her gently on the cheek. “I still love you.”

He left without expecting any reply and Darlene could feel her cheek burning where his lips had touched it.
He loves me, but I’m no good for him.
She fell back against the pillows and at once wished more than ever that her father could be there to advise her.
Pray,
an inner voice seemed to whisper.
Pray to your Heavenly Father and He will advise you.
This thought gave her peace. Perhaps God would show her what to do.

And the L
ORD
God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
G
ENESIS
2:18

D
arlene reflected on her father’s funeral in the silence of her bedroom. The Christian funeral had been quiet and simple and very comforting. The minister had spoken of a day when all things would be passed away and the resurrection of those in Christ Jesus would take place. She tried to imagine what a reunion it would be and how very happy her father would be to see her again, and how he wouldn’t be sad or sick.

She looked down at her sober gray gown. Eugenia had insisted that black would be more appropriate, but this was a dress borrowed from Constance and Darlene didn’t want anyone to go to the expense of dying it black and making it unusable to the young girl again.

“Borrowed clothes and somebody else’s room,” she muttered to the walls, “that’s all I have left.” Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Dennison had told her of a small insurance policy that her father had taken on the shop. It seemed that the policy was protection against fires and would allow, in cases of complete destruction, a small amount of money for rebuilding. He had promised to see to the situation in a few days and to take care of all the necessary paperwork. Darlene was relieved, even if it only amounted to several hundred dollars. It would give her enough money to take care of herself for a while and it would allow her more freedom to decide her future.

She went to the window and stared out on the false spring day. For all appearances it would seem spring was just around the corner, but she knew better. They all did. Sometimes fair weather came in the middle of winter, just like this. It would lull you into a false sense of security and then render you helpless in a blizzard or ice storm. Maybe that’s what she was allowing to happen to her in regards to the insurance money. Was she being lulled into a false sense of security by placing her values in monetary needs? Tateh had said, “God will provide.” And of course, He always did. So why should she fret so now, and seek all manner of solutions, all of which had nothing to do with God?

“Oh God,” she whispered the prayer, “I’m afraid and I don’t know very much about how to follow Jesus. I need help and I don’t know where else to turn, but to You. You’ve always been there and Tateh said You were the same God of my childhood, that You are now of my adulthood. Tateh said You would never fail and never desert me and that I could come to You with all of my hopes and fears and You would take care of my needs.” She saw the empty branches of the trees rustle slightly in the breeze. “I need You, God. I need to know what I must do and where I should go. I love Pierce so much, but I know that his aunt is right. I can never be the wife he needs. Please help me.”

She felt so torn apart. Tateh was gone and Pierce soon would be. She had no idea where to go or what to do, and she wanted so much to please God and be brave.

“I’ll never be good enough,” she said with a sigh, and then the words of the minister came to mind. At Abraham’s funeral, he had said that no one was saved because they were good enough. He said they were saved by grace and that one need only have faith in that grace in order to find their way to God.

“I can have faith,” she whispered and the words gave her heart strength. “I can have faith. I might have no answers and very little money, but faith is the one thing I can surely dig up from within.” She smiled and knew that if Tateh were here, he’d be quite pleased with her.

The door to her room opened abruptly and Darlene knew without turning around that it would be Eugenia. She was the only one bold enough to simply enter the room without knocking.

“I see you haven’t yet changed back into your own clothes,” Eugenia announced. “Well, I suppose there is still time.”

Darlene looked at her, but said nothing.

“I’ve brought you enough money to keep yourself in decent style until you can find a job or other friends to take you in.” Eugenia tossed a small cloth bag onto the bed.

“I don’t want your money, Mrs. Morgan.”

“Nonsense. You will take it and I will have the carriage ready to take you wherever you might instruct him to go. I think it would be best if you were to make your departure before the evening meal. Any delay you make will only create further problems.”

“But Mr. Blackwell is handling my affairs and …”

“You are no good for this family and even worse for Pierce.”

“I would disagree with you, Madam,” Pierce said, entering the open door without warning. “I believe quite the contrary. Miss Lewy is excellent for me and I intend to see that she never gets away from me. Now, stop interfering and leave us to talk.”

Eugenia was stunned by his comeuppance. “How dare you speak to me like that?”

Pierce put a protective arm around Darlene’s shoulders. “You’ve stuck your nose into my business one too many times, Aunt. Father and I have already discussed Darlene’s future and I have great plans for her.”

“But this is nonsense,” Eugenia stated firmly. “You must marry a woman of means and one with a social bearing that matches your own. You cannot dally with this little Jewess and expect your future to know anything but heartache. I have already spoken with Amanda and she assures me that she’ll take you back, no questions asked.”

“As I said earlier,” Pierce replied, his voice rather cold and unemotional, “you are interfering where no one wants you and I won’t tolerate your attitude toward Darlene any longer. Either see your way fit to treat her with respect, or leave.” He dropped his hold on Darlene and stepped forward as if to create a barrier between Darlene and his aunt.

“Well!” Eugenia declared and left without another word.

Pierce turned. “It seems I am ever saving you from runaway freighters or burning buildings or destructive old women,” he said with a smile. “I’m sorry for Eugenia’s attitude. I promise you that she doesn’t speak for me or for my family.”