Tracie Peterson - [Heirs of Montana 04] (35 page)

She came back, shaking her head. “I can mop the floor. I don’t want you catching your death. Especially now.”

Zane pulled his boot off. “Why now?” He stood there balancing on one foot while trying to pull his other boot off.

“Because we’re going to have a baby,” Mara threw out without warning.

To her surprise, Zane snapped his head up, throwing off his balance. He fell backward, landing hard on the floor. He sat there in stunned silence for a moment, looking at her as though she’d suddenly sprouted wings.

Mara put her hand to her mouth to keep from laughing out loud at the sight of her big, strong husband on the floor—in shock.

“Did I hear you right?” he asked, still not moving.

She lowered her hand and tried hard to look quite serious. “You did, Mr. Chadwick. I am going to have a baby. You’re going to be a father.”

“When?” His voice was barely audible.

She smiled and went to help him get his boot off. “September—maybe a little earlier.” She pulled the boot off and picked up its mate. “I’ll go put these by the stove now. You get on into the kitchen and eat. There’s a plate warming for you on the back of the stove.”

She went and put the boots by the stove and checked to make sure it had plenty of coal to keep the fire hot. Closing the stove door with the hem of her apron, Mara straightened to find Zane watching her.

“You’re pretty amazing, Mrs. Chadwick. You seem so calm about this whole thing.”

Mara fairly danced across the room. She’d never been happier than she was right now. “I am calm about this. I’m calm and excited and terrified all at the same time. But mostly I’m filled with such joy and love. I’m blessed that God has given us this child, and I’m doubly blessed to be your wife.”

He drew her into his arms and held her close. Mara put her head against his chest and sighed. “I wish you didn’t have to go back out into the snow. I’d much rather stay like this the rest of the day.”

“Me too,” he said, kissing her forehead. “But it looks like I need to be practical. With a baby coming we’re going to need to consider our future.”

She pulled away. “Haven’t we always considered it?”

“True enough, but now this … well, this makes everything different.” He looked quite serious, almost worried.

“So you’re not happy about the baby?” she asked, frowning. She hadn’t even considered that he might not want a child.

He reached out and held her at arm’s length. “Of course I’m happy. It’s just that I want to do all the very best things for you … for the baby. I’m afraid Anaconda isn’t the best.”

“Then we should pray about what is,” she said, relief washing through her heart. “Because I’m convinced that God has the very best planned for us if we will but trust Him to guide us.”

“I know. I believe that too. I just need to know where it is He wants me to go—what it is He wants me to do.”

Mara took Zane by the hand and led him to the kitchen. “Well, for one thing, I’m sure God would want you to have a good dinner. Now sit down here and I’ll bring you your plate. Then we can talk more about what we’re to do for the future.”

Zane sat, his expression almost bewildered. Mara felt sorry for him. Such news was not to be sprung on a fellow during his noon break. Still, there had been no way she could keep the news to herself once she was certain.

She gave Zane his food and then went to pour him a cup of coffee. Hopefully after getting something warm in his belly, he’d feel more like himself and the surprise of her news would become a little more real to him.

“Elsa was hoping you’d bring home a newspaper. I don’t suppose you did,” she said, putting the coffee in front of her husband.

“Uh … no. Never thought about it.” He toyed with the cup for a moment. “I’ll try to bring one this evening.”

“Good. That will please her. She’s as miserable as I’ve ever seen her. She misses Jamie, to be sure.”

Zane nodded, but Mara wasn’t entirely sure he would ever even remember this conversation. Smiling to herself, she sat down across from him and reached out to cover his hand with hers. “I love you.”

This seemed to penetrate the worry and concern her news had given him. He met her gaze and said, “I love you too.”

“Then don’t be afraid of what this means,” she said softly. “We’ll see it through together. God has charge of the entire world. I know He can handle something as little as our becoming parents.”

“Parents.” He blew out a deep breath. “Don’t know that I’m ready for that kind of responsibility. I think it’s probably easier to run a freight company or break a green colt.”

“Maybe, but I’m betting the joy is greater still in holding a child made from the love you share with another person. In fact, I can’t imagine there being a greater joy for a man or woman.”

Zane finally smiled. “I’m betting you’re right.”

CHAPTER 23

D
IANNE DRIFTED IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS FOR
nearly a week. The fever still seemed to consume her, but Koko fought against it with all of her healing knowledge. George, on the other hand, felt helpless to watch the once vibrant woman battle to live. Even his generally optimistic sister wasn’t sure what would happen at this juncture.

“I’m going to go help the children with their studies,” Koko told George. “Would you mind putting a cold cloth on Dianne’s head? Just rinse it out every so often to keep it cool.”

“I’ll do that,” he promised. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for Dianne. Including deny his feelings and remain the trustworthy friend he’d always been.

To George’s surprise, Jamie came to sit with him for a while. The boy had been positively impossible to live with the last few weeks. His mood seemed to change as quickly as mountain weather.

“I think once the snow melts, I’m going to make a trip to Butte,” he told his uncle.

“You think that’s wise?”

Jamie frowned and pushed back his dark brown hair. “Why do you ask that?”

“Well, it seems to me there’s a chance Lawrence could be watching all of us now. He might be looking for any clue that would connect him to his daughter.”

“I hadn’t really thought of that.” Jamie got up and went to look out the window. “It’s almost March. Surely this weather will settle and turn warm. When are Dianne’s cattle supposed to come?”

“I don’t remember—I think June. Of course, if other parts of the country are faring no better than we are, there may not be any cattle to send our way come spring.”

Jamie sighed and threw himself back on the chair. “I feel like I’m losing my mind. I hate being cooped up here. I can’t even work much in the barn. It’s just too cold to be out there for long and we don’t dare waste burning wood when we might very well need it here.”

George nodded and frowned. He’d long been worried that if the desperate cold continued, he’d have to find more fuel. The only sources of wood they had nearby would be the extra rails they’d kept for the corral fencing, and after that they’d have to start tearing down the buildings. He couldn’t let that happen. They’d worked too hard to see them built.

“I really enjoyed reading the Bible with Elsa, but now I don’t even want to pick it up. It just reminds me that she’s gone.”

“You can’t build your knowledge of God any other way,” George countered. “Reading His book is the only way to learn about Him and see what He has promised.”

“It’s hard to have a faith like you and Mama. I don’t know why it should be so hard, but it is.”

“When I was your age, I didn’t want to believe such things either. I’d learned from my mother’s people that there were many spirits and many things to be done to please them. Now I believe in the one true God. It wasn’t easy coming to accept that there was only one Father and creator of all.”

“What helped you most?”

“The Bible and your mother. I couldn’t read all that well back then, but I learned. I also learned to understand what God was trying to teach me through the Scriptures. Sometimes it’s still difficult to discern, but when it becomes clear, there is no other man happier than me.”

“Elsa helped me understand some things,” Jamie said, “and I helped her. I suppose it would be easier still if we had a regular church to go to. I know we read the Bible every morning, but things were different when Ben preached.”

George nodded. “I remember it well. Those were good days when we could go to Madison and hear Ben in the little church.”

“Do you suppose those days will ever return? Chester Lawrence is buying up all the land, and that doesn’t give me much hope.”

“But your hope can’t be in land or in what Chester Lawrence does or doesn’t do. It has to be in the Lord.”

Jamie seemed to consider George’s words for several minutes while George rinsed the rag. Then without warning he started up the conversation in another direction.

“I know I asked you this a time back, but you never answered,” Jamie began. “Have you ever been in love?”

George’s hand trembled slightly as he adjusted the cloth on Dianne’s fevered brow. “Why do you ask?” He looked up and met his nephew’s eyes.

Jamie shrugged. “I guess I just want to talk to someone who understands how I feel.”

“I understand how you feel,” George replied, easing back against his chair. “Yes, I’ve been in love.”

“What happened? Did you marry? Ma has never said anything about it if you did.”

George laughed. “There were always girls around—girls I fancied myself in love with. They were beautiful and easily captured my attention. You have to remember, I spent much of my youth with my mother’s people. There were many lovely young women available to marry.”

“So did you marry?” Jamie edged up on his seat. “Was there one special woman?”

“I didn’t marry,” George said sadly. “I was often away hunting, causing trouble. I’ve not always lived a life to be proud of. But yes, there was one special woman.”

“But you didn’t marry her. Why?”

George closed his eyes. He could still see Dianne as a young woman, standing on a stump, refusing to let George’s Blackfoot friends steal her beloved pony. He’d called her Stands Tall Woman, and she had earned that name in every way, ever since.

“She was already taken,” he said sadly.

“Married?”

“No, but pledged.”

“But couldn’t you have tried to win her away?” Jamie asked in disbelief. “I mean, if it was true love, why didn’t you do something extraordinary to win her over?”

George thought of how he’d rescued Cole for Dianne. How he’d had the chance to put his competition to death and instead showed compassion on the woman he loved more than life. George opened his eyes as Dianne stirred ever so slightly.

“As a Blackfoot, I never had much of value. I had horses that I’d stolen from our enemies to prove my bravery, and I had the knowledge and training given me by the Real People. I didn’t have anything else but my honor. A man’s honor is not something to take lightly, Jamie. Not ever.” He looked to his nephew. “This woman was not in love with me, as I was with her. She loved another. I honored her by not interfering in that love.”

“I don’t know that I could do the same thing. I mean, if you love someone as you did and you do nothing, then you run the risk of never finding love again. Is that what happened to you, Uncle?”

George felt a sort of sadness overcome him. “I suppose so. I knew I would never love anyone as I loved her. So I never tried to love again.”

“That’s probably another reason you left the Blackfoot people, eh? That way you wouldn’t have to see her every day and see her being happy with someone else. I would have done the same thing,” Jamie said as he gazed off to the ceiling and leaned the chair back on two legs against the wall.

George said nothing. How could he ever explain that because of his love for his sister and her need for him to help with Jamie’s upbringing, George had put himself in the one place that was a constant reminder of what could never be his? He shook his head and rinsed out the cloth again. Let Jamie think what he would. George could never hope to explain something that didn’t make sense even to him.

“I love Elsa. I know that much. I’ll fight for her,” Jamie finally said, letting the chair smack down on the wood floor. He got to his feet. “Thanks for telling me about her, Uncle. What was her name?”

George froze for a moment, then smiled. “It doesn’t matter.” He turned to Jamie. “What matters is that you keep yourself honorable—that you keep God at the center of your life.”

“I’m trying,” Jamie said. “It isn’t always easy, but I’m not giving up.” He left the room, and George almost breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed.

Dianne stirred, moaning Cole’s name. The word pierced George like a knife. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Oh, you’re here. I thought I’d lost you.” She closed her eyes and smiled. “Cole … why did you leave me … why did you let me go?”

George knew there was no sense arguing with a sick woman. Dianne was still battling a fever—still fighting for her life. She had no idea that he wasn’t Cole.

He took hold of her hand. “You must fight to live, Dianne,” he whispered.

“Will you stay?”

“Yes.”

She opened her eyes. “We’re going to have another baby. I didn’t want it at first, but now I’m glad. It was just so hard—hard to be without you—hard to wonder if you still loved me.” She closed her eyes, then opened them again as if she’d forgotten something. George strained to understand the barely audible words. “I love the baby because it’s a part of you. I love you, Cole.”

George patted her hand. “Be strong, Dianne. Get well.” His heart broke for her—for her inability to understand what had already happened—for the loss of her child.

Dianne’s eyes closed and this time she didn’t open them again. Her breathing evened out, however, and George thought she felt less feverish.

Kneeling beside her bed, George began to pray fervently for Dianne’s recovery.
Please, Lord, let her live. Heal her body, and in time, heal her heart
.