Tracing Hearts (5 page)

Kelsey’s brow knits but suddenly, she’s laughing like that was the funniest joke, and one that
wasn’t
at her expense.

“That was a funny one,” Kelsey says. “Now come on. We need you.”

Megan and I look at each other, contemplating what to do. Finally, she shrugs.

“Okay, fine, but we don’t want to be on your team,” Megan demands.

“That’s fine. The other team is the one that needs players anyway.” She gestures for us to follow her so, reluctantly, we do. “We have two more players!” she announces and points for us to go to the other side.

“Hi, Julia,” Cameron says. He has a weird expression on his face, and his cheeks look pink.

I just smile at him politely.

Soon, the balls are flying. A few times they come whizzing past me, but I manage to jump out of the way. I try to throw one every now and then, but I’m not very good at it, and it bounces harmlessly onto the other side. I’m sure my inexperience shows. Suddenly, a ball is whipped at my head. It comes so fast that I don’t have time to react. Before I know it, someone is jumping in front of me, taking the hit in my place. He falls to the ground, and I hear his breath exit his body in a rush. Stunned, I look down to see Cameron, lying on his stomach, pushing himself up from the ground with the ball in his hands. He rises and looks at me.

“Are you okay?” I ask him.

He nods. “Yeah. I’m fine. It can get a little rough out here. You have to pay closer attention.” His response is breathy, but that’s probably because he just got the wind knocked out of him surely.

“Thank you for jumping into the line of fire for me.”

He smiles, and it’s not like any smile I’ve seen before.

“No problem,” he says, still grinning.

“Can we just get on with it?” Kelsey’s voice echoes from enemy territory.

I look across at her to see a scowl on her face. What is she mad about?

“Just stay by me. I’ll protect you,” Cameron says, touching my shoulder. My wide-eyed expression even surprises me. I nod. Who knew Cameron had a soft side?

The game resumes, and I stick close to him, jumping behind him when necessary. Kelsey is still irritated and seems to aim balls directly at me. I think I’ve had enough.

“I’m leaving the game,” I tell Cameron. He nods. I’m sure he’s relieved to know he no longer has to act as my body guard. As I walk off, I hear Cameron’s voice shout. Then, I hear the smack and feel the sting of a rogue ball striking my left shoulder. It bounces off and hits me in the side of the head. Unable to anticipate it, I’m knocked off balance and tumble, unceremoniously, onto the ground. I brace my fall with my right hand but feel the unforgiving roughness of the pavement against it, and I continue falling onto my elbow, then my backside. The surface of the parking lot tears into me. The seat of my pants is torn, and my shaved palm and elbow are left bleeding. Wanting to conceal my wounded pride, I stand quickly, covering the hole in my pants with my injured hand, and stride off the playing field. Soon, I hear footsteps.

“Julia, are you okay?” Megan asks, catching up to me.

I look back at the game and a few kids, including Kelsey, are pointing and laughing at my expense. I’m embarrassed.

“Yeah,” I say, not wanting to convey my true feelings at this moment.

“Don’t worry about those kids. They’re jerks.”

I nod. “Was it Kelsey who threw the ball?”

“No, it was Jason, but I think she put him up to it.” She looks in Kelsey’s direction and gives her a dirty look.

“Whatever. I’m going inside.”

We walk to the recess aid and explain the situation. Normally, they’d ask my parents to bring me new pants but since it’s so close to the end of the day, I tell them not to bother. The rest of the day, I sit at my desk, a zip-up hoodie tied around my waist, and my behind still stinging from my injury. I don’t look at Cameron again. I’m just too humiliated.

“What’re you doing?” Megan asks just before the last bell of the day rings. She’s looking down at my notebook.

“I’m just doodling,” I reply quietly, trying to not call attention to myself.

“That’s a lot of hearts.” Her eyes are wide.

I move my hand aside to see the entire front of the book covered in tiny hearts. I guess I didn’t realize just how many I was drawing. I shrug.

“It’s something I do when I’m stressed. You know, to take my mind off things. I guess it helps me think.”

“Well, you have every right to draw them today,” she says with a sympathetic expression.

I sigh. Yeah, I really do.

***

Mom consoles me, and offers me a hug and a kiss for my wounds. I’m too old for that, so I refuse and head upstairs to change. I take off my pants, replacing them with comfy sweatpants, lie across my bed, and weep into my pillow. The phone rings a little while later. It’s Megan, but I tell Mom I’ll call her back later. Before exiting my room, she hands me the monthly magazine my grandmother bought me a subscription for. It’s little consolation, considering I’d rather have a letter from a certain boy in Germany. None the less, I leaf through it casually, trying to bring myself out of this state of self-pity. It does little to help. I throw it toward my desk, but it doesn’t make it and flops down onto the floor.

“Ugh, I can’t do anything right,” I whine.

As I crawl off the bed, to retrieve the book, I notice something white sticking out from inside its pages. I’m excited to discover it’s a letter from Germany! I let the magazine fall to the floor and pull out my desk chair, sitting carefully as to mind my sore rear. Grinning, I open the letter.

Dear Julia,

Thank you so much for the post card! It was exactly what I needed. I put it on my dresser so I can look at it every day. I miss home so much and it really cheered me up. I love it. Maybe someday, when I get to go back home, you can visit me. That is, if you want to.

I’m glad we have each other’s addresses now. I’m going to write to you every week. So, how are things with Toria? Is she still crying a lot? I remember my little brother when he was a baby. Not only did he cry constantly but he smelled really bad. I used to spray air freshener at him, and my mom would yell. I still do it sometimes, just to be funny.

So, I have an idea. I have sent you an extra envelope with a picture of me inside of it.

DON’T OPEN IT YET!

In your last letter, you mentioned not knowing what I look like. I feel the same way. A lot of times I try to picture you too. Okay, here’s my idea. How about if you send me a picture of you, inside an envelope, just like I did? Then, on a certain date and time, we could open them together. It’ll be like we’re seeing each other for the first time at the same time, almost like we would if we were standing in front of each other. Don’t you think that’s a good idea? It stinks, not knowing what you’re saying right now. It’s not much fun having to wait until I hear back from you to find out if you like this idea.

So, if you agree, no cheating! We have to agree on a date and time, and stick to it, or it won’t be as much fun. You can pick when we open them. Deal?

I’m going to mail this now, because the mail room is about to close. I hope I can make it in time.

Your friend,

Sebastian

PS. Begging my mom to let me have email!

PPS. I’m still not telling you my middle name.

I stare at the smaller envelope, which contains Sebastian’s picture, then hold it up to the light, hoping to get some clue as to his appearance. The opaque photo gives nothing away. I’m intrigued and delighted at the thought of finally putting a face to the name. Although I’m tempted, I vow not to cheat. This is our special event, and I won’t spoil it. I smile and kiss the sealed parcel, though I don’t know why and tuck it into a secret hiding spot.

Sebastian

Dear Sebastian,

I am so glad to hear from you. I had a really bad day, and you made it a little better. Kelsey invited me to play dodgeball with her and a bunch of other kids. I thought she might be trying to make friends with me, although, I had a sneaking suspicion she had different ideas. Anyway, it turned out she did. She told some strong boy to throw the ball at me. I got hit, really hard, and landed on my butt. My hand and elbow got scraped up, and my pants ended up having a hole torn in them…right in the seat. Everyone laughed at me. I was really embarrassed. It was awful. I came home and cried into my pillow. But then I found your letter and it cheered me up.

By the way, I love your idea to exchange pictures! I’ve been thinking about what day we should do it. I don’t want to wait too long but it has to be long enough for you to get this letter. How about April 6th, at 1 o’clock in the afternoon? I think that would make it around 7:00 in the evening for you. Would that be okay? It’s not that far away, but you should receive this letter by then. It will also give you time to write me back if that won't work for you. I can’t believe I’m finally going to see what you look like! I hope you like my picture. It’s not the best I’ve ever taken, but it’s the one that’s going into the yearbook.

Well, unless I hear different, I’ll see you, quite literally, on April 6
th
!

Love,

Julia

PS. Your middle name couldn’t be that bad. Maybe I’ll try and guess it. Alvin? Simon? Theodore?

The first thing I notice is the closing. Love. She wrote the word
love
. I’m confused. Girls are so confusing. My dad says they don’t get any better as they get older either. The first part of her letter makes me sad. Why is this Kelsey girl being mean to Julia? If I were there, and able to hit a girl, she’d be first on my list. She should stand up to her. But, deep down, I know some people just don’t have the courage or personality to be mean back. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Julia is one of those people. I wish I could protect her.

I scan down toward the bottom again. April sixth. Yes. That should work. She’s right about the time difference. I set the letter down and walk over to my calendar. With a big red circle, I mark the day and write in the time. I sit back down at my desk, stare at the date, and sigh. Then, I wedge the envelope, containing Julia’s picture, into a drawer for safe keeping.

April 6
th
18:55

Sebastian

The time ticks by so slowly. I can hardly stand it. It’s nearly 19:00 hours my time, 1:00pm Eastern Standard Time, which means, in a few minutes, the face of my pen pal will be revealed. I’m both anxious and excited. I can’t wait to see what she looks like, but I’m also afraid of what she thinks of my picture. Why did I send that one? Surely, I could’ve found a better one. I sag into my mattress with regret. After a few minutes, I peek up at the clock. It’s time. With shaking fingers, I lift the flap of the envelope and remove its contents. Nervously, I turn the photo around to see a bright-eyed, blonde girl with soft curls draped over her shoulders. Her eyes are large and round, but just right for the size of her face. Her nose is a cute, round button. Her smile, which lights up her eyes, shows a row of perfectly straight teeth. There’s one missing on the side, but it doesn’t detract from her beauty. And, she is just that, beautiful. I let out a sigh of relief. She’s better than I imagined her to be. I stare at her picture, unable to stop. Idly I think, if Peter were here, he’d never let me live this moment down. Thank God he’s not.

I carry her over to my desk and sit, ready to compose a letter. As I write, I look up at her image. I’ve propped her up against the hutch, so I can glance at her as much as I want to. I can’t seem to focus on my letter though, and I suspect is has something to do with the photo, so I lay it face down and continue.

Suddenly, Chris bursts though the door, sword in hand.

“Ha ha! I’ve found you! Now you’re going to walk the plank!” he declares.

I look over my shoulder at him.

“Not now, jerkface. I’m busy,” I say, watching his face fall.

“Aww, come on, Sebastian. I’m bored.”

“Get out, Chris. I said I’m busy.”

I point to the exit and, reluctantly, he leaves, shutting the door hard behind him.

I finish up my letter to Julia, lick the gross tasting glue strip, and seal it. I’ll drop in the mail tomorrow.

April 6
th
1:00pm Eastern Standard Time

Julia

Oh, my gosh! He’s so cute! My mouth drops open as I gasp, and I cover it with my hand. He’s just like I pictured him. Brown hair that kind of hangs over his forehead a bit, nice smile, and dimples. He’s got the cutest dimples I’ve ever seen. I hug his picture to my chest, close my eyes, and sigh. Now, I have a face to go with his letters. I give his picture one last squeeze and turn it over. He’s written something on the back.

Always on your side

Love,

Sebastian

I swoon at his words, remembering the letter I wrote about Kelsey and the dodgeball incident. He’s so sweet. I dry my lips, so I don’t get the picture wet, and kiss it very gently. “Thank you, Sebastian. And I’m on your side too,” I say to the image, then I leap up from my seat and dance around the room with him. I stop at my bedroom window and after breathing hot air onto it, I draw a tiny heart in the fog. I’m giddy. For the rest of the day, I bounce and skip around the house. My mom inquires as to what I’m so happy about, so I show her the picture. She agrees that Sebastian is a “nice looking boy,” as she puts it. After a while, I decide I’d better write to him, so I compose a letter.

As the years pass by…

Dear Sebastian,

School’s out for the summer! I can’t wait to lie in the warm sun and swim for the next three months…