Trade Off (21 page)

“I can’t believe I let him talk me into goin’ out with that new agent.” He looked at his brother. “What the hell’s her name again?”

“Stephanie Barnes,” he said, slowly. “Do you need me to spell that for you?”

“Shut up,” he said, pushing his brother out the door. “I don’t know why the hell I have to entertain all the homely chicks. Why don’t you ever have to take ‘em out?”

“’Cause I have a girlfriend, remember?”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t seem right that I’m always the guy taking one for the team.”

“What difference does it make?” Brianna asked. “You’re usually too drunk to notice what they look like.”

“How the hell would you know that?”

“Words gets around, sweetheart.”    

Josh chuckled and shook his head as he took his wife’s hand and followed the trio outside. “Those two are always at it. Just listenin’ to them gives me a headache.”

“It was nice to see both of you,” Sela said, stepping out on to the porch with Aiden. It felt so right, standing by his side as he bid his guests goodnight… almost like they were a real couple. “Enjoy the cruise and drive safely. It looks like there may be a storm blowing in.”

“Yeah, you drive safe too, Sela,” Ryan said, unlocking the door to his shiny new Audi A8. “Assumin’ you make it home, that is.”

“Good night, Ry,” Aiden said between clenched teeth. “Thanks for all your help tonight.”

Lexi and Josh gave Sela a quick hug and said goodnight before climbing into their SUV and following Evan out of the driveway.

“Give me a call sometime, Sela,” Brianna said, climbing into her late model compact. “I’d love to get together for lunch when you have the time.”

“I’d like that, Bri. Take care.”

“Thanks for your help tonight, kid,” Aiden said.

“Hey, what’re sisters for?”

They watched her pull away, riding Ryan’s bumper, before Aiden finally turned toward Sela. “Since you were nice enough to bring the wine, the least I can do is offer you a glass.”

“Um, I really should get home. I still have a lot of unpacking to do.”

“That’s why my sister rallied the troops tonight, to help me get settled. She said she was getting tired of trippin’ over boxes when she came to visit.” He led her inside. “Truth is, I haven’t been all that motivated to get settled in.”

“I know what you mean. I just moved into a new place, and I can’t seem to get my act together. I didn’t bring a lot of stuff with me from the house, but still…” She licked her dry lips and his eyes followed the action. “I, uh, should get to it sooner or later.” She looked at the rooms she could see from the entrance. “The house looks great. You guys must have worked hard today.”

“Yeah, we got a lot done. There’s still some pizza left over in the kitchen. You want some?”

“Uh, no, that’s okay, thanks.”

He grinned. “It’s your favorite, meat lover’s.”

“That’s not fair.” She pouted, trying to hide her smile. “You know that’s my weakness.”

“I know all of your weaknesses. Just like you know mine.”

She knew he was trying to bait her, but she had to pretend his words missed their target if she had a prayer of leaving his home with her dignity intact. Part of her wanted to tell him she hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he walked out of her office, but she knew baring her soul to him was an exercise in futility. Nothing had changed, except for the ring on her left hand. She was still the same girl who’d broken his heart, a fact neither one of them seemed able to forget.

“My parents told me you stopped by.”

“I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not. They were thrilled to see you again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your dad’s illness?” he asked quietly, leading her into the kitchen.

She knew this was the time for full disclosure. Besides, she had nothing left to lose. “At the time, I wanted you to stay focused on the game. If you’d known, you would have wasted time and energy worrying about me and my dad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me the other day in your office?”

She claimed a stool at the breakfast bar. “I don’t know. I guess I thought you had enough to deal with…”

He reached for a corkscrew in one of the drawers. “Did that figure into your decision to marry Neil?”

“He was so supportive when I told him.” It was difficult to relive that time, especially knowing how much it hurt Aiden, but he deserved to know the whole truth. “He let me cry on his shoulder.” She pressed a hand to her mouth. “I was so scared, watching my father waste away.”

Aiden grimaced. “God, I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for you.”

“Neil offered to help with the medical bills. My parents still don’t know that. He didn’t want them to know.”

“As much as I hate to admit it, Neil is a good guy.”

They shared a smile before Sela said, “Yeah, he is.”

Aiden reached into an overheard cabinet to retrieve two glasses, and Sela took advantage of the opportunity to ogle his very fine backside. Before he caught her, she said, “Danny tells me you’re looking good out there. Ever since you came back, he and Daddy have even started watching the exhibition games.”

“What about you? You’re not a hockey fan anymore?”

“I catch a game when I can.” She still loved the sport, but watching Aiden play had brought back too many painful memories of the hours she spent in the stands cheering his team to victory. She watched him open the bottle of wine, trying to ignore the flutter of excitement in her stomach when she remembered his rough hands brushing against her skin.

“Tell me about your new place,” he said, handing her a glass.

“There’s not much to tell. It’s small, but I spend most of my time at the office, so I don’t need anything bigger.”

“Does that mean the divorce is underway?” he asked, taking a plate from the cupboard.

She knew he was trying to act nonchalant, but she could still read the subtle signs that told her this was as difficult for him as it was for her. “It is. I’ve spoken to Neil a couple of times to iron out a few things. He seems to be settling in nicely in L.A.”

“I know. I’ve spoken to him too.”

She couldn’t hide her shock. She never expected her ex-boyfriend and her soon-to-be ex-husband could repair their damaged relationship. “You have?”

“Yeah.” He swirled the wine around in the bottom of his glass as he watched her carefully. “I realized a few things when I left your office that day.”

She was almost afraid to ask. “What kind of things?”

“I need to let go of the past. It’s been holdin’ me hostage way too long.”

“I see.” She could only assume that meant he’d decided to let her go as well. She couldn’t blame him since she was the one insisting they didn’t have a future together, but acknowledging this was the end of the road for them still hurt. “I’m glad you’re moving on, Aiden.”

He raised his wineglass with a hint of a smile. “Here’s to movin’ on.”

Her hand trembled as she touched her glass to his. She prayed her voice wouldn’t betray her when she said “To moving on,” but of course, it did. She cleared her throat. “I’m glad you’ve found your way.”

“I haven’t yet,” he said quietly before taking a sip of wine. “But I’m gettin’ there. Every day gets a little bit easier.”

Too bad she couldn’t say the same. She kept hoping the dull ache in her chest would subside, but it was still there, every minute of every day. “I’m glad.” She glanced at a box of framed photographs in the corner and couldn’t help but notice the one on top. “Oh my God, is that…”

He smiled. “It sure is.”

“Do you mind?”

He gestured toward the box. “Sure, have at it.”

“Oh wow,” she said, picking up the image of the two of them standing by his parents’ pool the day of his going away party. She stroked the cool glass mounted inside the frame as she wrestled with her emotions. “We were so young. We looked so happy.”

“I know.” He came up behind her, close enough to touch her, but he refrained. “That picture is one of my favorites.” He chuckled. “I kept it by my bed in the old place. I have to say, it didn’t go over too well with any of my girlfriends.”

Sela looked up at him, feeling a level of pain she didn’t think another person could possibly understand until she saw it reflected in his eyes. “Why did you keep it?” When he didn’t respond right away, she asked, “Didn’t it hurt to look at it every day… to remember?”

His voice was rough when he finally responded. “With or without the pictures to remind me, I thought of you every day. If I was gonna think about you, about us, I wanted to remember the good times, not the bad.”

“There were a lot of good times, weren’t there?” she whispered, looking down at their smiling faces.

“More good than bad. Even then, I knew we had something special. Time has only reinforced that for me, Sela. You don’t get what we have twice in a lifetime. You’re damn lucky if you get it once.”

“I know,” she said, closing her eyes. “That’s what scares me. I keep trying to tell myself that I have to let go, so I can find that again, but I think I know in my heart that it’s too much to hope for.”

He took the picture from her hand and set it back in the box. “You wanna have a look at those together?”

Would facing their past finally help them to put it to rest? Nothing else had helped, and she knew she couldn’t hurt any more than she already was. “Sure, why not?”

“You grab the pizza and wine. I’ll get the box.”

“Sounds good.”

Aiden didn’t know if this was the best or worst idea he’d ever had. Since he opened the door to find her standing there, he had tried to figure out why she came. Was she going to propose a platonic friendship or was she finally ready for something more?

It had killed him to give her the freedom she claimed to need, but he hoped that time and space would bring her back to him eventually. He knew he needed to process their history, now that he had all the facts, and he spent every free moment doing just that. One thing was for certain: he loved her more now than ever because he finally appreciated what he had and lost.   

Sela sat down beside him on the couch and reached into the box. She smiled when she found a small photo album tucked between two framed photographs. “I’d almost forgotten what these look like. Who can remember life before we went digital?”

“Sometimes progress isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” They both knew he wasn’t talking about technology when he said, “Sometimes I’d give anything to go back to the way things were.”

With her fingertip, she stroked an image of her smiling face. She was wearing a black prom dress, in the midst of a crowd of her girlfriends. “I know what you mean. I wonder what happened to some of the old gang. The only person I keep in touch with is Sharon.”

“Did she tell you I stopped by to see her again?” He didn’t know if she’d be angry that he insinuated himself into every area of her life since his return, but going back was the only way he knew how to move forward. “I met her husband and kids. They’re great.”

“Yeah, they are.” She continued to turn the pages in the album. There were pictures of them at parties, proms, bonfires, pool parties, football and hockey games. “I’m sure James was thrilled. He’s a huge fan.”

“You guys should come to the season opener on Saturday night. Invite your parents too. My family will be there. It’ll be nice for them to catch up.” He hesitated, not wanting her to know how much having her there would mean to him. That was one of the things he’d missed the most, having her at his games, knowing she was in the stands cheering him on, that she’d always be there to celebrate his victories or console him after a big loss.

“That’d be great, thanks.”

It was such a relief just to be able to think beyond today, to know that she wanted to see him again. “And, of course, bring Danny along. I’d love to see him again.”

“He’d love to see you too.”

Her older brother had been a couple of years ahead of them in school, but their shared passion for hockey meant they always had something to talk about when they got together. “I love that one,” he said, leaning over to point to a picture he’d taken of her at the lake they loved.

“That reminds me, I have something for you in the car. Would you mind helping me with it?”

“Of course not.” He got up to follow her outside and was curious when the trunk revealed a large flat panel wrapped in brown paper. “What’s this?” he asked, reaching for it. It was heavier than he expected, and unless he missed his guess, he could have sworn he felt the outline of an ornate frame.

She led him up the stairs without giving him a hint as to what the package contained.

Aiden leaned the package against one of the chairs in the living room and waited for her to invite him to open it. He wanted nothing more than to tear into it like a kid at Christmas. She hadn’t given him a gift in a long time, and he couldn’t wait to see what she had in store for him.

“You made a comment about the painting hanging above my desk the last time you were at my office.”

Claiming the seat beside her on the sofa, he could only hope she wasn’t offering to give him that particular piece. He didn’t think he could look at it every day without thinking about the innocent life they’d lost. “Sweetheart, I—”