Traded for Love (20 page)

I looked down on Doe as he got onto his knees and attempted to stand. “If you come back, you'll get worse than that bruise. Now, get off my property.” I slammed the door in his face.

Keys

(Jack)

I seethed all the way back to Julia's townhouse. That prick had hit me! I couldn't believe it. I'd been so bewildered by his reason for lashing out that I hadn't been able to strike back, though the bastard deserved it.

Julia stared out the window, not uttering a word. She'd said she couldn't
do this anymore
, whatever that meant. I had a feeling she'd tell me¸ sooner or later.

We rolled to a stop in front of her building.

After a moment's silence, she licked her lips and wiped her eyes. “I don't want to see you anymore.”

“Excuse me?” I was already angry. She was taking a big risk.

“You heard me.” She talked big but refused to look at me.

“You're hilarious,” I sneered.

“I'm serious.” She snapped her eyes onto mine. “Drake was right, I can't count how many times you've left me panting on my bedroom floor, alone, stuck in a trance for hours. You're heartless. You're a user.”

“—And you're used up.”

She inhaled sharply. “You're right. You've used me. Ruined me.”

I stared at her with incredulity. “You loved every minute of it.”

Her eyes dropped to her lap, where her hands wrung. “I didn't. The minutes you looked at her the way I wished you'd look at me; the minutes you spent with her; the minute you decided I was worth so little to you … I hated those minutes. Every second of those was agony.”

I rolled my eyes and gripped the steering wheel. “Don't get all dramatic. I can't stand drama.”

“You
made
this drama, Jack.
You
did this. I love you, you stupid bastard. I
love
you, but you've thrown me away so many times.”

“And I'll keep doing it.”

“Which is why I'm telling you this right now,” she sobbed. “I don't want to see you again. Never again. If I see you on the street, I'll pretend I don't see you. If you ever speak to me again, I'll walk the other way. Don't call. Don't text. Don't come over here.”

“You can't keep me away from my own property.”

“I'll be out by the end of the week,” she murmured. “I would hope you'd leave me alone, but you're right; I can't stop you.”

I thrust the tip of my tongue into the pit of my sore cheek. “So this is how you want to end it? All these years of being my faithful slave, and you want to end it now, like this?”

“Yes.”

“Where will you go?” I asked.

“Somewhere else.” Her breathing slowed. “It's none of your business now.”

She hated me, not just part of me, but all of me. I could tell, though, that she still loved me. I was confused as to how those two strong emotions could exist in the same place all at once.
Women
.

I sighed, turned off the car, and pulled my keys out of the ignition.

If she really, truly wanted to go, I couldn't stop her.

I slid the key to her chastity belt off my key ring, and gingerly placed it on her thigh. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

She covered the small key with her hand. “I won't.”

With that, she was gone from my life. It was time, I thought. I'd been too blinded by my desire for Chastity to see the end looming in the near distance. It'd come, though.

Good riddance
, I thought as she disappeared behind her front door.
I was tired of you anyway
.

Still … I didn't like something that belonged to me being taken away.

Even if I was the cause of it.

(Hours Later)

I woke up alone in my office. I'd collapsed in my clothes like some kind of drunk. I could have
used
a few drinks after what Drake, and then Julia, had put me through.

There was only one reason why Julia's departure from my life had meant so much to me.

She was the only way I could get to Chastity. She was my currency.

Of course, Drake was going to make that impossible for me.

I had to think of another solution to my problem. Who else could I use? Maybe someone from Craigslist?

No
.
Too risky
.

I remembered taking out the ad for Emily. I rolled onto my back.
Could it work again?
I wondered.

Emily would know.

Damned Emily
.
She was in the way, yet she was absolutely vital to my life.

I sat up and stretched, then removed my blazer. It still smelled like pavement and blood. That asshole had loosened a molar when he punched me.
That
would be unpleasant to fix.

Even though Drake had effectively banished me from the swinger's club, I wasn't worried.

There were ways of getting to Chastity that wouldn't have to involve Drake or the club. I just had to hire a detective to find out where she lived or shopped. As soon as I got that information, we could meet “by accident” somewhere. I knew if I could just talk to her, I could convince her that I was sorry for … making her sick? Was that what Drake had said?

It occurred to me that it might not work. She was too smart. She'd know I'd done something underhanded to get her information. That would turn her off more than anything.

Surely, if I showed up at the club again, Drake would throw me out just like before. Even if he didn't, I couldn't get Chastity without a trade.

Then it occurred to me … Emily.

Emily could be my trade.

It was a long shot. There was a lot of shit I'd kept secret from her. I'd have to come clean about the club and about Chastity—and probably about Julia, too.

She wouldn't take it well.

She might want a divorce
.

Shit
.

What would make her stay?

I thought about it as I showered, but nothing came to me.

As I put on a clean suit, I thought I heard the baby crying.

The baby
.

(Emily)

The ring sparkled and flashed as I stared down at it. Its presence on my hand was larger than life.

Jack had given me a gift yesterday, but it hadn't been the ring, or the clothes, or the shoes. It'd been the time he'd spent with me and the baby. I cherished that much more than any fifty-thousand-dollar ring.

Unfortunately, he said he had things to do at the office after dinner. Dante took us both home and Jack was off again in his Porsche.

Frustrated
couldn't begin to describe how I felt. I'd wanted to cuddle up to him, feel his body in bed next to mine. Instead, I barely slept at all.

There were a lot of questions turning in my mind, like why Jack spent so much time at his office in the late hours, and why he returned home so late.

Was there really that much he couldn't do at home? At least if he was in his home office, I could sit and read a book quietly nearby. This way, I couldn't even see him. Nobody could.

Jack hadn't come home until late last night. I'd heard him open and close the door, but he hadn't come to bed. My guess was that he'd slept in his office to keep from disturbing me.

But I was entirely disturbed.

This campaign was really eating away at our marriage. We were both crumbling under the pressure. Relief for either of us would have to wait. Election was still a few months away.

I sighed. It couldn't come soon enough.

My mind floated between thoughts, but was distracted by the sound of crying.

Donna appeared in the doorway to the library with Katherine in her arms. “See? Here's mama. Don't cry.”

“Aw, what's wrong, baby?” I reached out my arms and Donna passed her to me.

“I can't tell. Her diaper's dry as a bone and she just ate a half-hour ago. I tried almost every toy she's got, but she's still not happy. I can't tell what she wants.” Donna sat in the chair beside mine.

“Poor baby.” I cuddled her close to me and she calmed down. “Shh. Shh. See? Everything's fine. I'm sorry I haven't come in to see you today yet.” I rocked her. “When I went in earlier, she was asleep,” I said as an aside to Donna.

She nodded. “She seems irritable lately.”

“Maybe she's cutting teeth.” I lifted her head and opened her mouth. “Yeah, see? Two coming in at the front. Her gums must be hurting.” The baby shook her head back and forth, her face reddening at the agitation.

“Would you mind going down to the kitchen and getting me a piece of ice inside a sandwich bag?” I asked.

“Sure. I'll be right back.” Donna hopped up and down the hall. “Oh. Good morning, Mr. Duncan.”

I tensed up when I heard her greet Jack.

“Good morning,” he answered.

A moment later he stepped in.

“How was last night?” I asked.

The corner of his mouth ticked up. “Fine.”

He sat down in the chair Donna had just occupied. “What's wrong with her?”

I frowned. “Nothing's
wrong
with her. She's teething.”

He eased further back against the cushions. “I see.”

I stroked Katherine's back. “Shouldn't you be getting to your office?” Though he was sitting right beside me, his mind was somewhere else. “Jack.”

He blinked. “Hm?”

“Something on your mind?” I asked. His eyes turned to mine, and his strange staring continued. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing.” He braced his cheek on his hand. “I just wonder why we lie to ourselves.”

My breath caught. “Lie? About what?”

“I think … people get used to things. They think they'll last forever when they really won't.” He closed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. “But all this, this whole world is just temporary, isn't it?”

I swallowed hard. “You're scaring me.”

His concern melted away in an instant, and he sat up. “I'm just over-analyzing things,” he said with a smile. “Just being silly.”

“Did something you thought would last forever break?” That old anxiety returned, churning the contents of my stomach and making my mouth sour.

Donna appeared in the doorway with the bag, a smile on her face. “Here we go.”

I forced a smile and turned the baby in her direction. “Let her suck on the ice through the bag for a while. We'll get her a teething ring later.” The nanny took Katherine and offered her the bag, which the toddler grabbed onto with her small fingers. “Thank you, Donna.”

With the baby gone, I turned to Jack and set a hand on his. “You aren't talking about us, are you?”

He chuckled. “No. No.”

“Then what
are
you talking about?”

“Nothing,” he said with a smile.

I narrowed my eyes. “I don't believe you. You wouldn't have said that if something in your life hadn't made you say that. If you're telling the truth, and it's not us, then it's something else,” I posited.

“No. It's really not. Don't read into it, Emily. Really.” He patted my hand, then pulled away and stood up. He was trying to walk away from the conversation, but I wasn't about to let him. I couldn't stand another silent dispute, or anymore pent up anger.

My heart ached to even suggest what was on my mind, but after the last few months, I couldn't hide my suspicions anymore. “Maybe it's not some
thing
else. It's some
one
.”

He stopped dead in his tracks. “Someone … ”

“There
is
someone else, isn't there?” My eyes stung and my ribs seemed too small to contain my lungs.

He didn't turn around. “What if there was?”

Tears slipped over my cheeks as my shoulders went slack. Suddenly everything but my heart felt numb. His reaction was all the proof I needed. “So, that explains the ring, and the gifts.”

“I got those for you because I love you.” His tone was flat. If there was love in that statement, it'd been carefully hidden from me.

“How could you?” I sobbed. “Who is she?”

He sighed and reached for the doorknob, then pulled the door closed slowly. He turned on his heels. “There were two until last night.”

I gasped, closing my hand over my mouth. “Two. Two women. Behind my back.” I choked on my surprise. “How
could
you? How could you do this to me? How could you do this to Katherine? Your own daughter … ”

“Katherine doesn't know what's going on. Don't bring her into this.”

“But she
will
, one day. She'll know the reason I left you is because you
lied
to me.”

“You're not leaving me,” he said quietly.

“Of course I'm leaving you!” I said, curling my hands into fists. “Why would I stay? You obviously don't love me.”

“Because we need each other.”

“You don't need
me
. Apparently I'm not what you want.” I pounded the cushion on either side of me. “Am I not enough for you? God damn it, Jack. I gave you everything!” I looked him dead in the eye. “I fucked another man for you. I gave you all of me!” I said through gritted teeth, trembling with frustration. “Why wasn't I enough!?”

“I'm sorry.”

“You're
sorry
!?” I gawked at him in disbelief. “How can I believe you? How can I believe anything that comes out of your filthy, lying mouth? You let me believe that you loved me, but you never did, did you? I should have known the minute you told me to go to Stratford.”