Tragic Desires (20 page)

“
Morphine. For pain. Just push this button when you need it.”

“Oh. Nice.” I hit the button and in seconds
, I feel the effect. “That’s cool. Better already. So, the doctor told you?”

“Yeah. You’ll be here a
while. Until they remove the chest tube.”

“What tube?”

“Fuck. You don’t remember anything? They took out a huge piece of shrapnel.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Well, it tore into your lung. So now you have to keep a chest tube in until you’re out of danger of your lung collapsing. And you have to be on IV antibiotics to prevent infection.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And Mindy—”

“Who’s Mindy?”

“Damn, Drex. Mindy. Your girlfriend.”

“Oh, yeah. Mindy.” I give him an exaggerated wink. He rolls his eyes
and I chuckle. “Shit, Huff. Don’t make me laugh. It hurts.”

“Holy fuck, what am I gonna do with you like this?”

“Like what?”

A
knock on the door is followed by it opening. A soft voice asks, “Is it okay if I come in?”

I can’t see who it is because it’s so dark, but with a voice like that, it has to be an angel.

Huff says, “Come in if you can stand it.”

And there, standing before me is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen. Gemini is wearing hospital scrubs and
a hospital gown.

“Jesus Christ, you’re beautiful. I’ve never seen anything so goddamn
good-looking in my whole fucking life. Oh my God. Just look at you. Huff, have you ever seen anything so fucking hot? Look at her amazing eyes. You know I call her Onyx? Can you please come closer so I can touch you? I want to feel your hair. Shit, Gemini, can you take off those fucking clothes so I can see that body of yours?”

“Drex!”

“What? Come on, babe. You know how much I love it when you strip for me.”

“Whoa
, buddy, you got company, remember?”

“What? Oh, sorry.” I forgot that Huff was in the room. My head swings to Gemini and she’s giggling. I try to smile but I think it’s a bit lopsided.

“Get over here. I need some loving.”

Huff says, “That’s it. I can’t take any more of this shit. I’m out of here. Mindy, you know where to find me, if you need me. And just a warning,
he’s high as hell on morphine.”

“Yeah, I figured as much,” she says.

When Huff leaves, I look at Gemini standing beside me. Every now and again, she turns a little fuzzy.

“Oh
, my gorgeous Onyx, come here. Oh God, I can’t tell you how much I want to touch you. Can’t you just maybe lift up that little dress you’re wearing and let me see what’s underneath? I didn’t know anyone could make hospital clothes look so fucking sexy.”

She’s on me like a magnet
on a refrigerator. “Drexel Wolfe, don’t you ever get hurt on me again. I’ll kick your ass all the way to China and back if you do.”

“I’d rather you dig your nails in and scratch the hell out of it while I’m fucking you. Kiss me
, babe.”

“Drex! You’re all sorts of horny, aren’t you?”

“Come here.” I hook my finger and pull it toward me, motioning for her to lean closer. When she does, I whisper, “I need to tell you a secret.”

“A secret? What kind of secret?”

“A really good one.” I smile. Then my back hurts a little. “Hey, where’s that little button I’m supposed to push when I hurt?”

“Let me look.”

She bends over the bed and her hair brushes against my face.

“Oh God, babe
,” I groan. “You smell so good. I love your hair. You have the best hair in the whole wide world. I’ve never ever seen hair like yours before. I love your hair when it hangs over my face, when we’re fucking and you’re on top.”

“Drex!”

“What? It’s true. Sweet, sweet Onyx, I can’t help it. Did you find my button? If you can’t find it, don’t worry.”

“I found it, honey.
Here.”

She hands me my button and I press it.

“Thank you.” I reach out to touch her face and smile. “God sure knew what the hell He was doing when He made you, babe. Now will you do me a big favor?”

“What’s that?”

“Will you take off those pants so I can play with your beautiful little button?”

“Jeez
, Drex! You have to stop this!”

“I do? Why? Don’t you like me?”

“I
do
like you. You’re my guy. But it’s inappropriate.”

“It is? But you’re so beautiful.
You look like the most perfect angel sent from heaven. And you’re all mine. You
are
mine, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I’m yours.”

“Then let’s fuck. Right now.”

“Drex! Honestly, I don’t know what’s gotten into you!”

“You, babe. No, I have that backwards. I’m the one that’s gotten into you! Get it?” I find that so funny, I start laughing and can’t stop.

“You certainly have. But I’m afraid you’re not going to do it here.”

“No? Why not?”

“Drex, we’re in the hospital. It’s inappropriate.”

“It is? But no one’s here.”

“Yes, there is. Now stop!”

Oh no. She’s angry with me. I must behave, but I don’t want to. “I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. You’re too pretty to be mad. Get in bed and hold me.”

“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you. You have tubes and things.”

“You can’t ever hurt me. Now kiss me or I’m gonna make a scene.”

She does and damn
, she feels good.

Then I get an amazing idea. “Hey. My lip hurts really bad, babe. Right here.” I point to the far corner of my mouth. “Will you kiss it and make it better?”

She gives me a funny look. “I know what you’re up to, Drex.”

“What do you mean? My lip really hurts. It needs medical attention.”

“I’ll call the nurse, then.”

“You want
her
to kiss it for me?”

She laughs and leans over me as she brushes my hair off my forehead. “What am I going to do with you? This morphine has turned you into a
jacked-up horny freak.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Yes! You have to behave!”

“I don’t want to behave. I want to get naked
and be bad with you. I want you to lay that luscious body of yours on top of mine and lick me all over.”

“Oh, Drex. You’re just out of surgery. And you have that chest tube and all sorts of other things hooked up to you.”

“But baby …”

“I’ll make you a promise.”

“You will? I love promises. Can you make me a chocolate cake too?”

She laughs. “Yes, I’ll make you a chocolate cake.”

“Can I eat it off your tummy? Or maybe your hoo-hah?”

“Oh hell. Can you stop thinking about sex for a little bit?”

“Nope. See, here’s the thing about you. You fucking blow me away. Every time we’re together, I think this is it. It’s as good as it’s ever gonna get. But I’m wrong. I’m always wrong, babe, ’cuz the next time blows me away even more. It’s like my fingertips have memorized every inch of you and they need to touch you. And my mouth … my mouth waters at the thought of kissing you, of tasting your lips. And then the way you like to play rough and dirty with me. Oh God, Gem, I can’t think straight when it comes to you because we fit … like that perfect pair of shoes you’ve had forever. So, I can’t. And I won’t ever stop thinking about sex with you because I love everything about you. You know how you do that little thing with your tongue when you’re sucking me off …”

“Drexel Wolfe! You have to stop this now!”

Oh boy. I’m in big trouble. “Are you gonna ground me?”

“Yes.
If you don’t stop this sex talk. Right now. Got it?”

She’s very stern. So I nod. Then a thought pops into my fuzzy brain. Maybe she’s still hurt. She looks okay, but she might be hurt somewhere. “So are
you
okay, babe? You’re not hurt, are you?”

“No, I was shaken up, but I’m okay. Just banged up.”

“Thank God. I was so worried. Will you sleep with me tonight? I can’t stand to sleep without you. Tell me you will. Please?”

“I doubt they’ll let me, but I’ll try. I had to beg the nurse just to visit you.
I’ll be discharged tomorrow, so I’ll move in here then.”

“No, I want you to go back to the big house and get some real sleep.”

“The big house?”

“You know, the office.”

“Right. I won’t sleep knowing you’re here.”

“I still have a secret to tell you.”

“Oh, yeah, what is it?”

“I’m not gonna tell you.”

“You’re not? Then why’d you say that?”

“I don’t know. I thought I wanted to tell you, but now I don’t know if I should let you know that I was so afraid when I thought you were hurt. Because I love you so much and I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”

She gasps and says, “Oh!”

Her mouth forms a huge O and her face turns fuzzy. Did I just tell her that I love her? I can’t really remember.
I scoot over and she slides under the sheet. When she curls up next to me, I put her hands in mine, bring them to my heart, and say, “So beautiful,” right before I drift away.

It was
a
rough week, but I’m finally getting released. Gemini won’t stop teasing me about my stupid comments while under the influence of morphine. Apparently, they were quite lewd and I had no filter whatsoever. It didn’t matter who was in the room, I said whatever I pleased. She’s vowed to get me back, but I don’t see how. I keep having visions of me telling her that I love her too. I pray it’s a damn dream because I can’t possibly be in love with her. I barely know her. Yeah, we’ve spent an assload of time together the last few weeks, not to mention that horrendous explosion we experienced. And yes, I’m as close, if not closer, to her than I’ve been to any woman in my life. But love?

We’ll be staying at corporate headquarters
for now. I’ve always kept an executive apartment there, so I’ll take advantage of it now. Gemini’s things, or what she’s picked up since the bombing, are already there. Huff has given her the rundown and she has a team of bodyguards at all times. She’s not allowed to go anywhere unaccompanied. In fact, we both have a full detail. No way am I taking any chances, especially where she’s concerned.

O
n the way home, Huff briefs me on what’s been happening. “The bomb was C-4 loaded into the SUV right outside your window, set off from a remote detonator. We think it was a warning. Either to leave everything be or give them what they want if they contact Gemini.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask. Since I’m still on pain meds, my mind isn’t as clear as it should be.

“If they’d wanted you both dead, they would’ve used a timer and not a remote detonator. They were watching your place. They knew exactly when you exited the building. They were sending you a message.”

This doesn’t
sit well for several reasons. First, they know where we are. Second, they’ve been watching us, so Gemini’s been in danger for a while. And third, what the hell do they want from her?

“Huff, we leave in
a week. I’d go tomorrow, but I know I’ll get flack from you if I try. We have to find that file. We’ll go through everything again. And then once we have our plans set, we leave for Panama City. I want two teams on the G-550. The plane will land in Jacksonville. One team will deplane and drive to Panama City. Then the plane will head to Tallahassee where the second team will get off. They’ll also drive to Panama City. The plane will stay the night in Tallahassee and at daylight, it’ll fly to Panama City and wait on us. Gemini and I will fly commercial to Pensacola. We’ll rent a car and drive to meet up with the teams. Each will have their assignments as decoys. We’ll not communicate except on safe phones. I want this to be a very confusing journey for anyone to track. The jet stays in Panama City to take us all home. We’ll fine-tune things this week. But as soon as we get back, I want you and our top ten guys working on everything in that box. Understand? I also want another thorough search of what that key can open in Austin.”

“Got it
, boss.”

The more I think about this whole thing, the more I realize that the CIA as a whole can’t be involved. My connections with them are too strong. They would be beating down my door by now to get Gemini. If my suspicions are correct, it must be some covert group operating within the CIA—perhaps even without
the CIA’s knowledge. This is even a more frightening thought because those guys won’t play by any rules at all. They could be as bad or worse than the terrorists.

T
his whole bomb
thing has brought me to my knees, literally and figuratively. My heart is in my gut most of the time, and when it’s not there, it’s usually hanging around somewhere near my feet. And the last thing I want is to let Drex know how damned worried I am.

He was so adorable and funny when he came out of surgery. Of course, he was on
a decent dose of morphine, but the things he said were too cute for such a tough guy. Even now when I think about it, my heart flips and I feel gooey inside. I have to wonder if he really feels like that about me or if it was all drunk speak. He acted like I was the greatest thing in the world—and that bit about being in love with me … I’m not quite sure about that. It’s entirely too soon, but it was sweet to hear him say it.

W
e’re at the big house, as he calls it. This is where we’ll be living, with a full team of bodyguards. The fact that I’m putting Drex and his men in danger doesn’t escape me. I’d like to slip away to take that danger away, but I know he would never let me go. If I leave, he’ll follow, with his team of men, and then we’ll be out in the open. It’s safer this way, which is why I’m staying. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

We walk through the executive level of DWInvestigations, past the offices
, and head to the conference room. When everyone is assembled, Drex tells them that Huff will remain in charge for the day and will relay the plans for the trip to Panama City and the continued search in Austin. He also increases the already tight security here. Then he looks at me. “Let’s get out of here.”

He confuses me. For everything we’ve been through, I think he would want to stay and have his finger on the game. When we leave the room, he grabs me by the elbow and steers me toward the apartment.

As soon as we get inside, he shuts the door and turns the lock. “We need to talk.” He never wastes time with flowery conversation. I actually like that about him.

“Are you all right?”

“Physically. Well, I’ve been better in that regard too. What about you? Are you okay? Physically and mentally? That was rough … going through a bombing. PTSD can set in and I want to make sure if that happens, we handle it appropriately. And your headaches. What’s going on with them?” He rattles off questions like he’s checking them off a list.

“Wow.
Can we start with a hug instead?”

“Huh?”

He’s confusing me. He’s a different person now. He’s the Drex I first met in Austin. Brusque and in charge. Our eyes meet and there’s something different in his. It worries me.

My voice is low when I speak. “Drex
… what’s going on?”

He scrapes his teeth over his lower lip but doesn’t
look away from me. This will have to be my move because I need his arms around me, holding me close. I don’t want this weird behavior. We just experienced something very traumatic and I need to be reassured, not drilled … soothed and kissed, not treated like an employee.

I move toward him and when I’m in front of him
, I say, “I’m fine. Except for one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“This.” And I kiss him. Like I did the night of the bombing. Like there are no tomorrows. I need to show him that I’m here and we’ll get through this. My heart plummets and my stomach twists when he doesn’t respond. I start to pull away but then his arms reach around me, jerking my body hard against his. He groans in my mouth and his hands move to my T-shirt’s hem. I feel him lifting it up and suddenly it whooshes over my head. Then his fingers are unbuttoning my jeans.

“Off. Clothes.” That’s all he says.

Two can play at this game. “You too.”

I eye him as he strips. He moves without his usual fluidity,
indicating he’s in pain.

“Do you hurt?” I whisper.

“Not enough to stop me from doing this.”

When we’re both naked, we stand and stare at each other. But then I have to see for myself the damage inflicted upon him.

“Turn around.”

“No.”

“Yes. Now.”

His half-open eyes tell me he’s not pleased, but I don’t care. He stands, unmoving, refusing to do what I ask, so I walk around him to see for myself.
I’m shocked by the large bandage still covering his left side. As I move my hand over it, I whisper, “You could be dead right now.”

“Stop it, Gemini,” he says gruffly, and he turns to face me. I’m in his arms and he’s kissing me again. “I’m alive and here and I’m fine.”

This is the first time we’ve kissed when we haven’t closed our eyes. It seems that neither one of us is willing to look away from the other. And oh God, the emotion pouring out of his is so impassioned, I can’t stop looking at them.

“
In the hospital, you told me I was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen.”

“I said that?” His hands gently cradle my face.

“Yeah. You told me that God knew what He was doing when He made me.”

“I’m glad to know I wasn’t drunk ou
t of my head after all, then. I was right. He created perfection in you.”

“I’m not perfect.”

“You are to me. You’re so damned beautiful that sometimes when I look at you, I forget to breathe. That’s pretty fucking perfect in my book.”

His hands
seize my hair, winding strands around his fingers. “What else did I tell you in the hospital?”

His
gaze is so compelling, I find myself talking before I’m aware of it. “You told me that you were so afraid when you thought I was hurt.” I swallow and place my hands on his cheeks. “And that you love me and you didn’t want anything to happen to me.”

His mouth
imprisons mine and there is no more conversation after that. He backs me into the closest wall and we’re manic as our hands find each other. When he discovers that I’m soaked for him, he slides into me and I moan at the fierceness of him. He’s rough and dominating. This is about his need for control; I recognize that. And it’s about the power. It’s about the fact that we both survived and he wants to assure himself that he’s as strong as ever. And I
need
for him to be. I
want
him to be like this.

Suddenly
, he stops and I cry out in protest. But he spins me around until I’m facing the wall and he raises my right arm. And then he’s back inside me, filling me so deep, touching me and making me want to scream. I don’t think I can take it like this, but I’m so needful of him. His fingers lace with mine and it’s weirdly intimate, this soft gesture, as he roughly thrusts into me.

Then his cheek rubs mine and his voice is gruff in my ear. “I can feel you’re so close. Let it go
, babe. I need to feel you come on me.” His left hand slips around me and finds the place that will set me off. Within moments, my orgasm crashes into me and then he pulls out and cries, “Oh, my sweet Gemini.” He leans against my back as he climaxes and I feel his come running down my butt. His breath is hot as it fans across my shoulder and I flutter back to reality like a soft snowflake falling to Earth.

“Drexel?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t need to pull out.”

“No?”

“
I called Brady and he said that the pill starts to work right away if taken every day.”

“Oh. That’s good.
” His lips leave a trail on my neck. “And you need to know that I’m safe. I’ve been checked. I’m healthy.”

Is it bad of me that I never even gave that a thought? He has my mind and body in so many twists and tangles, his sexual health never
occurred to me.

“Drex?”

“Hmm?”

I turn around and wrap him in my arms. “I need your mouth on mine
, but first, I never thanked you.”

“For what?”

“You saved my life. Our lives.”

“Not according to Huff.”

“Whatever. You were there for me when I needed you. You held me and didn’t let me go when I was so scared. So yeah, you saved my life.” Then I kiss him. When I stop, I say, “Let’s go lie down.”

“
Good idea. My girlfriend’s worn me out.”

I hook my arm through his and walk the short distance to the bedroom. As we move, he asks, “
Are you finding the apartment comfortable?”

“Not until now.”
He gives me a bewildered look. “You weren’t here, so I was out of sorts.”

“Ah, I see. Well, I’ll try to change that,” he says.

“Oh, I have faith that you will.”

I pull the covers back. He moves gingerly
, which tells me he’s in pain.

“When was your last pain pill?”

“I’m in need of one now. And can you bring me a damp cloth?”

I
retrieve water, the pills, and a cloth. Upon my return, he’s waiting for me, propped up on the pillows, a smirk on his face. “What’s that smile for?”

“I wish you’d been my naked nurse in the hospital.”

“Oh, you tried. Believe me. You were the horniest patient on record, I’m sure. You said the naughtiest things to me.”

“Well, sweet thing, they were all true.” He swallows his pill and thanks me. “Turn around.”

“Huh?”

“Turn around. I need to clean you
up a bit.”

“Oh!” My face is on fire.

He laughs. “Why does this embarrass you?”

“Because!”

“Come on, Onyx, turn around.”

I do as he asks and he cleans me up. “There,
my mess is all gone now.” He’s all smiles. “You have the prettiest ass.” He pats the bed next to him. “Get in here. I want you next to me. I’m tired.”

“
So am I. I don’t think I’ve slept since this whole thing happened.”

“Me neither, babe. It was hard sleeping without you.”

“Are you comfy?” I need to know this. I don’t want him to hurt.

“
Yeah. So tell me about your headaches.”

I smile when I tell him that I have only had a couple and they’ve been minor. Nothing that I couldn’t handle and the
Maxalt took them away.

“That’s awesome. Now lay
on your back, so I can see your gorgeous face.”

“Oh, Drex.”

“No words, babe
. Just let me look.”

But h
e’s the gorgeous one. His blue-grays watch me intently, as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear. He’s playing with my hair, wrapping it around his fingers and holding it against his face. He lets my hair go to hold my hand and brings it to his mouth to kiss. It’s hard to lie next to him and not touch him. I want to run my hands all over him, feel every bit of him as much as he wants to feel me.

“You wanna know something?” I ask.

“Maybe. It depends on what you’re gonna tell me.”

Smiling, I say, “God got it right with you too.” Then I press a kiss to the little hollow at his throat.

He runs his hand down my chest until he hits my pearled nipple. Taking it between his finger and thumb, he squeezes and rolls it until I groan. Then he does the same to my other one. I arch into him, wanting more. His hand travels across my body, setting my blood on fire. My nerves tingle and I cry out for him.

When his hand slips between my thighs, I melt. He slides a finger into me
. “I love the way you feel inside, all warm and slick.”

I can’t help but pull his mouth to mine. “More, Drex. I want all of you.”

“On top. Now.”

He leans back on his elbows while I straddle his hips and when he slides into me, he’s in so deep,
it’s almost too much. But then he starts thrusting and the friction is so exact, he hits me just right. I know when I explode, it will be exquisite.

“Ah, fuck, Gemini, kiss me, babe.”

I put my lips against his and his tongue plays with mine. My hair falls forward and curtains our faces. He whispers in my mouth, “I love it when your hair does that.”

Then he surprises me by sitting up. “Touch yourself, babe. Lean back a bit and touch yourself. I want to watch.”