Train Station Bride (7 page)

“He was different.”

Jake harrumphed. “I imagine he’s got the same thing as every other man.”

“I imagine he does. But that marriage was about companionship and company for his mother. I just didn’t think he’d ever know,” she whispered.

“And I would?” he asked.

“After I thought about things, meeting your family and everything, I decided I wanted to try, really try to be happy and make a husband happy. I don’t imagine that would go so well if I lied. It would always be between us. I know you weren’t looking for a grand love affair, but you’re close to my age. We’ll be together for many years,” Julia said.

“And since Jacob’s near sixty, you were hoping he’d kick off before your conscience got hold of you,” Jake said.

“That’s not a very nice way to put it, but I suppose it’s accurate.”

“Who was he?” Jake asked.

“Pardon?” Julia said, eyes wide. She lowered her head. “It was a long, long time ago. You wouldn’t know him.”

“I realize that Julia. But you’re my wife. I have a right to know.”

“Do I have a right to know every woman you’ve ever been with?” she said and raised her chin.

“If you want to know, I’ll tell you. The list is short. Most of whom were paid for. Do you want me to name names?” Jake replied. She sat silently so long; Jake was convinced she wasn’t going to reply.

“Turner Crenshaw,” she said finally.

Jake was confused. He could have sworn Julia mentioned that name when she was talking about her family. “Didn’t you say …”

“Yes. He’s my sister’s husband. It happened before Jolene and he married. I was seventeen.”

This confession had cost his new bride. She was staring out the kitchen door, apparently not willing to meet his eyes. Her profile was a picture of misery and guilt. Her pain and the shimmer of tears on her lashes, was wending its way into Jake’s middle. It was alive, thriving and tearing this woman apart.

“Do you still love him?”

She turned to him. Her lip was quivering. “Why would a woman love a man who doesn’t want her? Why would anyone put herself through that kind of misery year after year? How does she get through the sister’s wedding? Why would she still love him, seeing him day in and day out, worshipping the ground beneath the feet of another woman?”

She wasn’t talking about some poor faceless pathetic stranger. She was talking about herself and her hurt was raw and pulsing and still fresh.

“I don’t know, Julia. How did you do it all?” Jake asked.

“I put it all aside. I put it all aside for my family’s sake. So there would be no shame, no whisper of a scandal.” Julia said, her voice raised and quivering. “He took one look at Jolene and walked away from as if he’d never met me. Never touched me,” she whispered. “She was the oldest, my mother said. Said Jolene deserved him. She went to him a virgin on her wedding night. Something I could never do.”

Jake stood and went to Julia. He pulled her up from her chair and put his hands on her shoulders. “Your mother shouldn’t have said that. She should have never have said any of that.”

She looked up at him. “Why? It’s all true.”

“Bullshit, Julia. Your father should have hog-tied him and dragged him to the altar. You were a young girl. You made a mistake. He took advantage. They shouldn’t have wanted a piece of crap like Turner Crenshaw to marry any of their daughters. Let alone make you stand up for your sister,” Jake said.

He was mad as hell. He could have never been so cruel to his sisters, and he wondered what kind of parent could be. Julia was shaking all over.

“So you see I can never go back. I can’t take it. I don’t love him anymore, haven’t for a long while, but seeing him everyday, with his son, with Jolene. They won’t let me forget.”

Jake pulled her into his arms. She laid her head on his chest and he rubbed slow circles on her back.

“South Dakota’s a new start for you. Put it behind you.” He pushed her back in his arms to look her in the eye. “But I don’t want my wife pining all her life for some man not worthy to shine her shoes. I mean it, Julia. We’re married.”

She nodded. “I want to start over. I’m going to do my best to be a good wife.”

Jake pulled her back against his chest. She felt good there. Smelled good too, even after a day like they’d had. Jake chuckled.

“This is why I want sons. Went through worrying about this stuff with Flossie and Gloria. Don’t know if I could take it with a daughter.” He pushed her away from his chest holding her in a loose hug and smiled a lopsided grin. “That’s why I ordered Inga. She had eight brothers. I figured that was as good chance as any of having boys.”

As quick as lightening, Julia’s face went from smiling and relaxed to a shy rosy pink color
. She wants this. I want this. Ah, hell, might as well see if the kissing will make me want to hurry or dawdle.
If he should put his silver on the nightstand before the deed so he wouldn’t have to face a woman he didn’t know, but had bedded. Or if by some stroke of luck, he would want to be in that bed every night. Jake tilted her chin up with his finger and touched her lips with his. His eyes closed of their own volition. Not because he didn’t want to see the rouge lined face of a soiled dove either. They just closed, as if any distraction would take away the pure pleasure he was feeling.

Jake reached behind him and pulled a kitchen chair out. He eased down onto it and pulled Julia into his lap as he did. He was thinking dawdling would do just fine as far as kissing his wife was concerned. Her head tilted back over his arm as he turned to deepen the kiss. Jake didn’t know how long they sat on the kitchen chair. Could have been months for all he cared. She seemed to be enjoying herself as much as he was and he figured now was as good a time as any to carry her upstairs. Jake broke away from her lips but stayed inches from her face.

* * *

It had been a long time since a man had kissed her. He was trembling as much as she. Julia sent a fleeting prayer aloft that he would find her as attractive as she found him. Maybe her morals were as loose as her mother claimed, she thought, as a sigh rolled up within her.
Quit thinking, Julia. Feel and enjoy. This could have been Jacob Snelling.
Julia touched the dark hair along his collar.

“We can wait, Julia. Are you sure you want to do this your first day here,” he asked.

He was giving her a choice. But did she really want to stop? She was aching in the pit of her stomach for a man she didn’t even know. Fear had turned to anticipation with Jake’s kisses.

“I don’t want to wait,” she said.

Jake eased her from his lap and stood up. “I’ll leave you to wash up and what not,” he said as he twirled his hat in his hand. “Be back up to the house in an hour or so.”

Years ago, Julia had eavesdropped on Jolene as her sister and a married friend were talking. Jolene had described suffering the marriage bed dutifully. And that Turner was after her near every night. But she would put a stop to that, Jolene had confided to the woman. Her disinterest and their forthcoming child would slacken his lust. Jolene had laughed her throaty laugh. That or separate bedrooms would, Jolene had said. How her sister could have not wanted Turner’s attentions were beyond her.

And Jake Shelling was a handsome man. Every edge was hard other than his brown hair. It looked like silk shimmering in the gaslight. He was tall. Probably a good foot or more taller than her. Somehow it was comforting to think of her husband as being taller than her father. His eyes were green, clear and direct.

If her and Jake’s marriage were consummated, her father would have few rights. Just in case, contrary to Flossie and his own assurances, her new husband didn’t feel inclined to keep what was his, his.

For a moment Julia let herself return to that moment that altered her life so drastically. So different than what she prepared for in the present. She could swear she smelled honeysuckle climbing the trellis behind the house. Turner’s attention that evening at the party of a friends’ had been too much of a lure. Too much of an affirmation that she too was attractive. Things had gone farther than they should have quickly. He had not spoken to another soul at the party once he had been introduced to her. His attention was like a drug. Addicting and never fully satisfying. Ten years was a long time to wait for her next kiss.

But Jake’s kisses were worth the wait. Not as much as his words, though. No one,
no one
, had ever defended her before. No one had made Turner bear any of the blame. Until Jake. His kisses made her feel wanted and beautiful. Jake had heard her tale and instead of being outraged that he’d married a woman like her, he’d managed to find a way to substantiate his reasoning for wanting sons rather than daughters.

She slipped a sheer white, lace-edged nightgown over her head and pulled on the matching robe. Julia pulled the ribbon across her bosom and tied a bow. She looked in the mirror over a stand holding a razor and brush. The low-neck line of the gown and the bow brought her eyes to her bulging cleavage. Her best attribute as far as she was concerned. She dabbed cologne behind her ears and brushed her hair till it shone. I feel pretty; she thought and batted her lashes as she had seen Jennifer do. Julia was confident as she climbed the steps to Jake’s room. That confidence ebbed as she pulled back the covers of her husband’s bed and climbed in to wait. But she did not wait long.

Chapter Seven

“Come in,” Julia said to Jake’s knock.

“You are quite a beautiful woman, Julia,” he said as stood in the doorway and stared unashamedly.

Julia watched Jake’s Adam’s apple bob while he gawked at the bow of her robe. She shimmied down under the sheet. He wanted her; that was certain. She watched him slowly unbutton his shirt. His chest was broad and muscular. He was staring at her like Alred McClintok looked at his plate of shrimp. She squirmed as he pulled his pants down over narrow hips. Her one sexual encounter had been in the dark and the sun, while already set, still lit the room softly. She could see clearly.

“Oh dear,” was all she could say.

“I don’t want to do anything you don’t want me to do. Just say the word and I’ll stop,” Jake said as he pulled back the covers on his side of the bed.

Julia dropped her lashes, oddly unafraid. Here she was far from home and family in the bed of a stranger, her new husband, and she was not the least bit frightened. He was a big man, in girth and depth, and it attracted her more than scared her.

“I did like when you kissed me, Jake. Maybe we should start there.”

Jake slipped under the covers and slid his arm under her neck. He settled her on his shoulder and touched his lips to hers. He kissed her ear, and she moaned and moved closer, her breasts to his chest, her knees at his thighs, her toes tickling his shins. Jake slowly pulled the ribbon of her robe open. He growled.

This man was big everywhere. It was heaven, Julia thought. Big enough to keep her father or the bogeyman at bay. Big enough to drown in and feel dainty. She slid her fingers down his side to rest on his hip. He was kissing her neck, her shoulders. Julia felt his hand encompass her breast. A low moan rumbled from his chest.

Jake looked her in the eye. “It’s been a long time for me. I don’t think I can wait much longer.”

“It’s been a long time for me, too.” Julia’s eyes opened at half-mast, struggling to focus on the man’s face before her as his hand kneaded her breast, and he ran a calloused thumb over her nipple.

Her husband inched the gossamer gown over her hips and rolled her onto her back. He slid his hand up a thigh and pulled her knee up and around his hip and eased into her with one, long, slow stroke. His eyes fluttered, and he hummed a contented murmur as he sunk into her body.

They were like chocolate truffles and champagne, Julia thought. Two unrelated items, no one dreamed would go together. But they did. Edgy pings of bubbles against creamy softness. She opened her eyes and tilted her head back to see her husband’s face. Which was he? Candy or champagne? Both, she decided. He was staring at her, questions in his gaze. Julia put her hands on his cheeks, smoothly shaved, and kissed him, touching her tongue to his.

Apparently it was all the answer he needed. Jake slid himself in and out of her body and ran his knuckles against the side of her breast and down to her waist. He linked his fingers with hers and held her hand against the pillow beside her head. The tide of completion seemed to rush at him, and his tempo increased. Julia met him halfway with every thrust. She trailed the palms of her feet over his calves, and Jake groaned and settled on her.

As her breathing stilled, Julia ran her hands up Jake’s back. Maybe Eustace was right. Things were going to work out just fine. Had someone told her yesterday she’d be in bed with a giant man and loving every minute of it, she’d have sworn they were insane. The mousy, fat, spinster Crawford girl had made love to a gorgeous man. Her husband. A shiver of pleasure and surprise at her response to Jake’s touch trailed down her arms.

Jake rolled on his side. He propped himself on one elbow beside her. “Are you cold?”

Julia smiled shyly. “Not at all.”

He trailed a finger down her cheek and twisted it in her hair. “That was pretty wonderful from my point of view.”

Her lashes dropped half way. She was desirable, a vixen, a temptress.

“Perfectly wonderful. I think we may suit admirably, Mr. Shelling.”

“No question about that, Mrs. Shelling. No question at all,” Jake said and stared at her.

* * *

Julia awoke as the sun streamed in her window. Jake was not there. They had slept together all night. She washed and rooted through clothes for something cool and suitable for life on a farm. She had nothing. Julia pulled on the plainest dress she owned over one petticoat. It was white eyelet with flounces of ruffles with a high neck and full sleeves that narrowed to tight cuffs. Julia struggled with the eight covered buttons on each wrist. She brushed out her hair and pulled it into a matching ribbon. She pinched her cheeks and went down stairs. Jake walked in the backdoor as she entered the kitchen. Flossie was at the table, rolling out bread dough.