Transcendence (33 page)

As Signore Barone leans over the edge of the roof to show me the lights of the city, his right arm tightens around my neck until breathing becomes uncomfortable. I reach up in shock when I see him looking down at me, hatred and disgust flashing in his dark
eyes. He turns so that his back is to the railing and all of my weight is now supported on his arm. I can hear myself gasping for air, and I claw at his hands, but it makes no difference
.

“It’s your fault they want to force Alessandra out of the troupe,” he says, spittle flying from his mouth. “If you hadn’t arrived, her career would still be on the rise!” He turns around so that I am now hanging half over the railing, and I can see the light-colored cobblestones far below. There is a loud ringing in my ears and my vision is fading when I hear a commotion behind him
.

“Papa! What are you doing!” Alessandra cries, and I can feel her weight on him as she tries to pry his arm from around my neck
.

“Get away!” he yells. “Go back downstairs. This has nothing to do with you. I’m only acting for your own good.” His grip loosens just a little as he pushes her back onto the gravel roof, giving me two or three desperate breaths of air. In seconds she is up again, flying at the two of us
.

“This is not the way!” she yells. As she fights with him, Signore Barone brings his arm back to fling her off, but misjudges his own strength. As he pushes her, she loses her balance, and in seconds she has disappeared over the railing, her screams echoing back up to us as she falls
.

“No!” he shouts, the noise a primitive, animal cry. I turn to look down, and see that her arms and legs are bent at unnatural angles and watch the dark pool spreading out underneath her across the hard stone walkway
.

Signore Barone reaches over the railing as if he can still catch her falling figure. I scream her name, not believing what I’m seeing
.
Before he can turn on me, I run for the stairwell door, in time to meet a crowd of men rushing up from below
.

My memory clears, and I see Veronique on her hands and knees a few feet away, her back arching and falling as she struggles for breath, Giacomo standing over her, looking lost. As she sits back on her knees, I can see the gun is still gripped in her right hand. I sit up and look frantically around for Griffon, but he’s nowhere on the roof.

Suddenly, I don’t care about Veronique. I don’t care about the gun. I’m only focused on one thing. I race to the edge where I saw him last, prepared to see a repeat of the same scene I saw so many decades ago, knowing that if he’s gone, there’s nothing left for me here.

I hear scraping noises even before I reach the edge and look over. Griffon is hanging from a ledge about three feet down from the railing, holding on with his upper body while his feet swing wildly underneath him as he tries to get a foothold to pull himself up. There’s a gash on his cheek and blood is dripping down the side of his face, but I feel an enormous sense of relief. He’s alive.

“Griffon!” I yell.

Griffon looks up at me. His shoes scrape the brick wall. “I can’t get back up.”

“Hang on,” I say. He’s only a few feet from me, but too far for me to reach from this side. I wrap my left arm around an opening and ease myself over the railing, the pain increasing as I put pressure on it, but there’s no other way. Bracing my feet against the outside of the railing, I lean down, my right arm outstretched as far as possible. “Can you grab my hand?”

“No. I’ll pull you over,” he says, his words coming in short bursts from the effort of hanging on. “It’s too dangerous.”

I can see his fingers turning white where they’re gripping the ledge. He can’t keep this up much longer. “No, you won’t,” I say quickly. My breath is coming in gasps. “There’s no other choice. Let go and grab my hand. I’ll pull you up.”

Griffon hesitates, and I see him look down at the ground far below.

“Do it,” I say. “Grab my hand.” I reach down another few inches, my fingers about two feet from his face. If he lets go and doesn’t take my hand, he’ll fall for sure. We only have one shot at this. “Just let go quickly. Don’t look down.”

Griffon looks into my eyes, and a sense of calm seems to come over him. I tighten my grip on the railing just as he lets go with his left hand and wraps his fingers around my wrist. The force of his weight pulls me off balance for a second, and I close my eyes as I pull with everything I’ve got, knowing that the next few seconds can change everything forever. The strain on my arm starts to ease as Griffon uses my leverage to swing his feet up onto the ledge, and he reaches over and grabs for the railing. In one motion, he pushes me back over the railing to the safety of the roof and then jumps over after me.

I grab at Griffon as we sprawl in the gravel, feeling his relief as he pulls me into him. I close my eyes and feel vibrations, his breathing in time with my own, the rightness of it all reaching down deep beyond logic and understanding. I’ve been listening to meaningless words when all along I should have been paying attention to the feelings inside of me that always speak the truth.
In an instant I know that Griffon isn’t rogue, and he isn’t lying. What he wants is to be with me.

I look up and see Veronique and Giacomo about six feet away. She looks dazed as she glances over at us as if she’s just realized we’re there, the gun hanging limply at her side. Griffon jumps up, pushing me behind him, and I can feel him ready to run at her.

“Wait,” I say to him quietly, putting my hand on his arm. “Just wait.”

“Veronique?” Giacomo calls to her, obviously unsure about what to do next. I see the devotion in his eyes and realize that he’ll do anything for her. He’ll obey every order. He’ll stay with her even though she’s spent her life looking for another love. And I have no doubt he’d kill for her, too.

She ignores him. “What was that?” Veronique turns to me, fear in her voice. Her face is drawn, and she looks suddenly older. “I was with you. I felt the breath being forced from your lungs. I saw Barone’s anger. I saw … I saw Alessandra die.” She licks her lips and stares at me. “But how? I wasn’t there when it happened.”

I look at the gun she’s holding loosely in one hand. I might be able to grab it if she’s distracted. “But
I
was,” I say, breathing heavily, my left arm throbbing in pain. Griffon silently squeezes my right hand, a gesture of unspoken encouragement. “And what you saw was what really happened.”

“And you were telling the truth? The newspapers didn’t lie? It was Barone who…” She can’t bring herself to finish the sentence.

“It was Barone who tried to kill me,” I say. “But he killed Alessandra by mistake.”

Veronique shakes her head as tears stream down her face. She raises her eyes to mine, and I can see the hatred replaced by the depths of the pain she feels from losing Alessandra. For her, it’s as if it has just happened. “I don’t deserve to finish this,” she says, and turns the gun on herself, the barrel trembling where she holds it against her chest.

“Don’t!” Giacomo yells, the anguish in his voice matching mine when I called for Griffon just minutes before.

I make a move toward her, but that just makes her hand shake more. She’s fired it twice already, and this time I know she really won’t miss. All of a sudden I want us all to get off this roof alive. I force my voice to sound calm and even. “This wasn’t the solution last time. Killing yourself just made things worse.”

“But it makes the pain stop,” she says. “For a while, at least.” She turns away from us, shaking her head again. “It’s better this way.”

My mind is racing. No more blood should be spilled over what Barone did so many years ago. “But what if Alessandra
is
back?” I ask quickly. I let go of Griffon’s hand and walk slowly around to face her. “What if you were right, and her essence is in this city somewhere, looking for you?” I take a deep breath as I see the end of the gun move away from her chest just a tiny bit.

Behind her I see Griffon moving toward us, Giacomo doing nothing to stop him. His footsteps make faint crunching sounds on the gravel, so I keep talking. “Are you willing to give up this chance to find her? For what? It might be decades before you can come back and look for her again.”

Just as she’s about to answer, Giacomo lunges at her, grabbing for the gun, but Veronique isn’t willing to let it go easily.

“Do you care nothing for me?” he shouts as he pulls the gun away from her body. “Is it so easy for you to take what
I
love?”

Veronique shrieks in frustration as Giacomo wrenches her hand back and the gun skitters across the gravel. His arms surround her as her struggles fade, and soon the only sound is her quiet sobbing.

Griffon reaches over and grabs the gun, putting it in his pocket before rushing to my side.

“Are you okay?”

I reach up to wipe some blood from his cheek. “Are you? This is all my fault. I should have listened to you. I should have trusted you. I’m so sorry.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Griffon says, and without looking back at either of them, we head for the stairwell.

Griffon pulls me with him as we rush down several flights. We don’t speak, although a thousand things come into my head that I want to say.

Griffon breaks the silence as we reach the ground floor. “I just need you to believe that I would never do anything to hurt you. I can’t stand going through the rest of this life alone. Without you.”

“I know,” I say, tears starting to form in my eyes. “Oh God, I know. I’m so sorry.”

Griffon takes my hand and grips it tightly. “But you do now? You believe me?” The desperation in his eyes makes me feel guilty and hopeful all at the same time. “I wasn’t Akhet back then. I didn’t know what else to do.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to talk about
then
. It’s over. We’re not those people anymore. All I want is now. And tomorrow. And the tomorrow after that.”

“There’s just one thing.” Griffon stops just before opening the door to the hallway. “I let you down again.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I was supposed to save you, and instead you saved me.”

“Maybe it was my turn this time,” I say, pulling him down into a desperate kiss. “Next time it’s yours.”

I grab my bag off the hallway table. “I’m going now,” I call to Mom, just as she hangs up the phone.

“Do you need a ride?” she asks, meeting me at the door.

“Yes. Thanks.” I lean over and give her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Griffon’s mom invited me to dinner too. Can I stay?”

Mom’s lips flatten into a straight line, and I can tell she’s trying to come up with a reason to say no. “Sure,” she finally says. “But call me when you need a ride back.”

“I’m heading that way. I’ll take you,” Kat says, walking down the hall. “I’m probably going to be hanging out with you guys a little more—Owen’s coming out in June to stay with Griffon for a couple of weeks.”

“That’s great,” I say, wondering how weird it will be to double-date with my own sister.

“Did you ever find your phone?” Mom asks.

“Um, no,” I say, hoping she’s not going to ask any more questions. Knowing that it’s in a million pieces from being tossed off a three-story building isn’t exactly the same as finding it. The past week has been a nightmare, trying to act normal at home and at school with all that’s happened. I keep worrying I’m going to slip and give myself away.

She sighs. “We’ll see about getting you another one,” she says. “Be careful.”

I smile at that. If she ever had a clue what happened on the roof, maybe she wouldn’t worry so much about a simple trip to Berkeley. Or maybe she’d worry more.

“I might be out later, though,” she says, not quite as an afterthought. “If I’m not here, just call me to tell me you got home okay.”

I give Kat a look, but she just shrugs. Out? Mom never goes out, especially on Saturday night. “Out as in, on a date?”

Mom’s face gets surprisingly red in a very short time. “No. I’m going out with your father. Just to dinner and a play at the Orpheum.”

“Really?” I say. I’ve noticed that they’ve been spending more time together since the window accident, but I didn’t think it meant anything. Maybe they really are working through something in their distant past.

“It’s just dinner, guys. I know that look. Don’t get your hopes up.”

I put my hands up. “No hopes. I promise. Just glad that you’re going to do something fun. Maybe you should call
me
and tell me you got home okay.”

We’re barely through the door before Janine surrounds me with a giant hug. “Girl! Just look at you!” She pulls back and holds me at arm’s length. “Things could have turned out badly if it hadn’t been for you.”

I can feel my face flush. “If it hadn’t been for me, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place,” I say, still not totally understanding everything that went on. “I’m sorry I got Griffon mixed up with Veronique,” I add, not wanting to think about anything beyond today.

“I don’t know what the two of you are on about. I had everything completely under control,” Griffon says with a laugh. The black eye where the bullet grazed him is starting to fade, but he still has a bandage over the stitches on his cheek.

“Yeah,” Janine says. She swats him with a kitchen towel. “That’s exactly what it looks like.”

“I did,” he insists. “Veronique might be a good shot, but my reflexes are even better.”

I remember what she said about never missing with the gun, and I breathe in sharply. I thought that she just meant to score him with the bullet. “So she meant to hit you?”

“I’m sure she did. Luckily I was able to get out of the way.” Griffon puts a hand to his cheek. “Well, mostly.”

Janine folds her arms in front of her chest. “And ending up dangling off the edge of a roof, three stories up?”

Griffon grins. “Yeah. That was a little miscalculation.”

Janine reaches over and squeezes my hand. “All I’m saying is that things could have turned out much differently if Cole hadn’t been there. As it is, you’re going to have a nice scar on your cheek.”