Transcending Nirvana (Dark Evoke #3) (7 page)

Kady

Fleeing as quickly as my legs could carry me was the sole point of my agenda, and I knew that waiting for Walker to arrive, would cause a delay in that urgency.

With each step I took down the building’s corridors, with each corner I approached, my body would tense in fear of Liam being there. The mere thought of him lurking in the shadows beyond the hospital walls waiting for another opportunity to strike, put me in a near catatonic state.

We were in the cab on the way back to The Pavilion. The drive was made in complete silence, with the exception of the occasional sigh from the woman to my left. It was as if she wanted to tell or ask me something. Either way, nothing could pull me from my state of deep reflection as I stared, absentminded, out of the window to my right.

Were the questions lingering in the mist of my memory ever going to be unearthed? Was the rest of my life doomed to be this way? Justifying beatings and being held captive by the wrath of someone I loved, in a house which now makes my skin crawl, or looking around corners, dreading what may stand behind them, in fear that he’s lurking, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and whittle down what remained of my resolve?

What sort of life is that?

All things considered, despite my migraine-inducing thoughts, a tiny voice whispered that ultimately, being with Liam would be less of a worry than the position I was now seeing myself in. At least when I was there in front of him, I could see the physical indications of when he would attack. At least then I would be prepared for what was to come. But now, I had no clue––I had no foresight of what to expect. What I did know was, the likelihood of danger had been cast to those around me, the ripples already forming in the water working its way through us all…All I could do was live in fear of what could happen, and hope and pray that in a twisted, warped sense, that that method alone would help prepare me for those pending moments, so I wouldn’t be caught off-guard again.

Leviton’s words were repeated in my mind until the driver finally pulled up alongside the never-ending string of dilapidated, terraced properties.
“There’s no record of anyone prescribing further tranquilizers to Kady. Common sense dictates that she shouldn’t have had those pills, Mr. DeLaney.”
I couldn’t remember specifics, and it frustrated me no end. Each time a vital piece of information which I attempted to recall would slip from between my hands, antagonized me more. Lost to my silent musing, I questioned whether this was an area never fated to be painted in color.

The degree of my naivety was both powerful and pathetic. Liam could have done anything to me during our years together––Hell, he had done. Nevertheless, he remained a picture-perfect, model businessman and a respected member of society. Yet behind closed doors, Liam DeLaney was ruthless. He was ruthless in his pursuit of me. Ruthless in his control. Ruthless in the beatings and punishments he issued at his own accord. What made it worse was his reach extended the furthest city in Boston. With Liam DeLaney, anything was possible. And that was unsettling.

“Kady,” Laurie’s voice was a soft mumble behind me as I slipped the key in the lock, twisted, and kicked open the lowered half of Walker’s apartment door.

Stepping over the threshold, the floorboards groaned the further into the room I stepped. “Yeah.”

“Can I ask you something?”

My purse was placed with a heavy hand on the coffee table before I turned on my heel. Laurie pushed the door closed as I said, “Of course.”

In a small, timid voice unlike to her own, she asked a question that set my stomach in knots and the bitter taste of dread rose to my throat. “Do…” she faltered. Arms across my chest, I studied her strolling deeper into the bare room, focusing on her sneakers. Finally, she peeked up at me and resumed, “Do you think Liam has it in him to really harm someone–– someone you care about––just to prove a point?”

Did I ever? His words still haunted me,
“You are the center––little Laurie and that Irish prick gravitate towards you. But I am the fuel, the flame if you will. One spark from me, and see everyone you love burn.”

Suddenly, my mouth was very parched. I licked my lips. “He’s a very influential man, Laur. He craves control. He
needs
control.”

It was her additional hasty words that had stopped me from heading to the kitchen to make a strong coffee. “What do you think would happen, if somehow he lost that control?” I’d never seen Laurie like that before. Hanging her head, she fidgeted a little before looking back at me, her expression tense. “What if that control was taken from him?” she whispered.

Taking control from Liam was like taking a lion from the wild and locking it in a shopping mall full of patrons––both stupid and highly dangerous. The thought of that even happening spawned a shudder down my spine and goose bumps settled over my flesh. “If I’m honest, I don’t even want to think of what he could be capable of.”

Even standing eight feet away I heard her breath catch. She tried to disguise the jolt of her body but I caught sight of it. Jolting and wincing was something I was used to. When the action becomes second nature to one, it’s easy to discern in another.

“If you lose something that defines you, then you have nothing left to lose. And that in itself is terrifying enough.”

After calming my nerves with a strong coffee, I dug out my cell from my purse. Noticing the envelope notification, I opened it up:

Walker:
You alright, darlin’? I’ve finished my errand, so let me know when the both of ya need picking up.

I began typing back:

Me:
Shit, sorry I should’ve called. No lift necessary, we got a cab back to the apartme––

“Who’s the message from?” Laurie interrupted.

I drew my attention from the screen to the woman on the old, wooden tattered chair opposite. “Walker asking when we’re ready to be picked up. With everything that happened I forgot to let him know that we were getting a cab.” I went back to finishing my message when she interrupted again. “Yeah?”

“I love Walker, Kady,” shifting to the edge of the seat, she braced her elbows on her knees. “I feel honored to have been welcomed into his family and they treat me as one of their own. But I’m not a hard ass like any of them. I’m not as strong and tough as Walker, I don’t think with my emotions first.”

“Where are you going with this, Laur?” I asked, incredulous.

“One thing I have always been with him is honest. He can take care of himself, but…Kady I know I have no right to ask this, but could we not tell him about Liam showing up at the hospital today? And I’m not asking because I know I’ll be in Shit Street because I told him that you’d be safe with me, but because I know he will think with his emotions first, and he will head straight for Liam. I don’t want him getting hurt.” She hung her head with a mild shake. “I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me.”

Because of her? I felt my scalp prickle with unease and the flip of my stomach told me that further ripples
had
been made in the water. “What do you mean, ‘Because of you’? Was something said?”

“No, it’ll be okay, I just…” she shook my question off with little resolve, her apprehension betrayed in the shaking of her voice. “Sometimes the consequences just aren’t worth the risk, right?”

“Yeah,” I breathed, “Not worth the risk,” then went back to finishing my text.

It was around 5:20 p.m. when the apartment door was kicked open in haste, sending both Laurie and I jumping backwards into the sofa, effectively smearing our nail polish onto flesh.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Walker panted, a large pizza box balancing in his hands. “Remind me to tip the pizza delivery guy decently next time.”

Laurie sprung up like a jackrabbit, set the small glass jar of her purple polish on the table, and bounded toward him, seizing the food, while he forcefully kicked the door shut behind him. “Pizza, yummy,” she hummed with great approval.

I could tell the distraction of girlie time had helped her unwind after her tense, poignant words. Despite the fact I saw them both as I exited the restroom at the hospital, I had no idea what words were exchanged between them. One thing I did know was that it had to have been something cogent because I had never seen her so bothered before.

“You wouldn’t last two minutes with that, cuz.” Still, his warning went unheeded. Set on the low coffee table, the pizza lid was pushed open. The sound of his throaty, light chuckling when Laurie jumped backwards and rolled her eyes was contagious, and I was soon mirroring his amusement.

“Holy Mother, it burns, it burns,” she droned melodramatically, covering her watering eyes with her forearm.

“I didn’t know you’d be joining us, so it’s tough.”

“Well, you two will be safe from Dracula tonight, that’s for sure.”

Skirting the table, a kiss was pressed to my head. It was a simple kiss, but one which still had me inwardly questioning, what had he done? As he pulled away, rustling sounded from the crooked arm behind his back, and with a flourish and his boyish grin, a bouquet of white and purple hyacinths were pulled free. “For you, darlin’.”

A small gesture––yes––and the tag may have displayed that they were from the 7/11, not some extravagant florist, but my heart still swelled in my chest. He could have gotten me some handpicked flowers tied with string and I would have still felt the same degree of appreciation. As always, it was the thought which counted.

My jar of chosen pink polish was set beside Laurie’s on the tabletop. “They’re beautiful,” I seized them with both hands, burying my nose in the center. “Thank you.” Onto my toes I rose and cupped the side of his face with my right hand. I pressed a chaste kiss against his lips then was pulled flush against his hard body, when wandering hands were positioned on my backside.

“You’re more than welcome, darlin’.”

“Do you have a vase I could put them in?”

Watching the cogs in his head turning at my question was the most amusing sight I had seen all day. He looked so adorable when he pouted. “Fuck.”

“It’s okay,” my thumb grazed over his pouting, boy-like lips before continuing to fist into the back of his hair. “I’ll put them in a pint glass,” I tugged his head down to meet me; his tongue peeked out, resting on his lower lip as our brows pressed against one another. Damn how one look could be so sexy I had no idea? “I know you’re in no short supply of those.” I turned away to head for the kitchen.

“Cheeky, wench” he quickly replied and before I knew what was happening, I was bound by his arms, his chin on my shoulder as we stumbled into the kitchen.

I faintly heard Laurie giggling at our display before exclaiming, “I’m risking a chance with a slice of garlic pizza. Be warned, if it gives me the shits you’re going to pay!”

“So how did it go?” Walker asked, fetching a bottle of Bud from the fridge then resting back against the small counter. His legs crossed at the ankles, while I rinsed out and filled a pint glass with water.

“The appointment?” I asked, digging into the drawer beside him to retrieve the scissors.

“No, excursion to Everest.”

With a wrinkle of my nose, I tossed him a dirty look and pointed the scissors in his direction in mock scolding. He simply glanced at the opened blades, raised his eyebrows totally uncaring then took a draw from his bottle. Guilt flooded my system within an instant as an image of his glorious, imperfectly-perfect torso flashed through my mind, and the many implements he had used to destroy it.

I went back to cutting the plastic from the blossoms and snipping the stems. “It was okay.”

“Okay? That’s all?”

“That’s all. He had me complete a puzzle and talked about how I’m finding things, my memory––”

“What about Liam?”

His name caused the usual rigid reaction to ambush my body. My snipping of the stems before placing them in the glass of water seemed to happen in slow-motion as I treaded, wearily, through the conversation. “What about him?”

“Did you tell the doctor about what you’ve been through with him?”

I couldn’t because he was there beside me the entire time…
Even then, despite the fact of his presence, would I have found the strength to have been completely honest, anyway?

“I, umm…I––”

“He was more interested in finding out how she was coping, Walker,” Laurie interjected at the doorway to my left. Offering a quick glance, I noticed her shoulder braced against the doorway, a slice of pizza in her hand. “You know, with the frustration and all,” she waved the wedge around as she spoke before taking a bite. I gave my silent thanks in the form of a tightlipped smile and a tiny nod of my head, which she mimicked.

“Of course.”

“On that note, I am going to love you and leave you, because I truthfully cannot force myself to eat this,” she glared at the food between her fingers in disgust, her lips upturned. “Why not just eat a clove instead of wasting dough and cheese.”

Walker snatched it from her hand as she stretched to drop it into the garbage. “We don’t waste food,” he teased already moving to rip off a bite. “You want a lift?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Who needs mace when you have garlic breath, right?” Stepping over the threshold, she wrapped her arms around me.