Trapped (9 page)

Chapter

Dalilah

On the plane on the way home, it was time for decompress. I was feeling just a little bit airsick, so I made sure that I had a bag close. Luke got us First Class tickets, so I was comfortable enough. But I was more than a little sad to be leaving Liam’s gorgeous house, and I was extremely apprehensive about going to war with Nottingham.

One thing that was nice was that Luke and I got the DNA test results back early. It confirmed what I knew all along – that Luke was the father of the baby. That brought both of us a lot of joy, of course. And it made both of us more determined than ever to fight to the death to make sure that Nottingham would never get a chance to get his hands on this child.

Luke gripped my hand. The air hostess came around and took our order. This airline was offering a variety of sandwiches, chips and drinks. I ordered a veggie sandwich with chips, and Luke ordered a burger. I also wanted a tomato juice, and Luke got orange juice.

As always, Luke all but read my mind. “You’re scared. I know you are. But you have to have some faith. Have some faith in the legal system, and have some faith in the universe. Everything is going to turn out just the way that it should.”

“I hope you’re right. I really do.”

“I am. Not that I have a magic crystal ball, but I do think that everything is going to work in our favor.”

The food came, but I picked at it a little. Luke nudged me. “I know that you really don’t feel like it, but you have to at least try to eat. You might actually feel a bit better if you do.”

I shook my head. “I know that you’re right, but it’s always been difficult for me to try to force food on myself if I just not feeling up to it. But I’ll try.”

I nibbled on the sandwich, and put a few chips into my mouth. The salt on my tongue tasted good, so I delved into the bag of chips a bit more. Before I knew it, I had demolished the bag of chips and I started in on the sandwich. When I polished that off, I knew that Luke was right. I
was
feeling better.

After I ate, I put my head on Luke’s shoulder. I knew that this was going to be a long plane ride, but the comfort of his shoulder made me feel like it wasn’t going to be that terrible. 

The plane finally landed.
I was proud that I got through the trip back across the pond without puking once. Luke and I walked through the security part of the airport and headed for the baggage claim.

Serena was waiting for us by the baggage claim. She came up to me, and put her arm around me. “How you feeling, Dalilah?” she asked. “God, you guys have had a time of it, haven’t you?”

“You have no idea.”

She then went over to Luke and gave him a hug. “Good to see you, kid. And how are you holding up?”

“Been better,” he said. “Thanks again for taking us in.”

Serena nodded. “To tell you the truth, I was happy that you called and more than happy that you wanted to come and stay with me.” She didn’t elaborate on that, though.

Luke and I got our bags, and Serena helped us by taking some of our baggage. We all walked to her Lexus, and she put the bags in the trunk. I sat up front, and Luke sat in the back.

“Now,” she said. “You’re going to have to explain things just a little bit more. What is going on with your child and Nottingham? I mean, you did a DNA test, right?”

“Right,” I said. “And Luke is definitely the father.”

“Ah,” she said, looking in her rear-view mirror at Luke. “I have some Cuban cigars at home for you.” She smiled. “Don’t ask me where I got them, either. I’ll never tell. But go on.”

“Well, because I’m married to Nottingham, and, well, at the time that I conceived, I had been living with Nottingham just a few days prior, the law says that Nottingham is presumed the father.”

“Tell me what I’m missing,” Serena said. “You get a judge, you show them the DNA test that Nottingham isn’t the dad, and everybody walks away with a smile. Right?”

“Well, it isn’t as easy as all of that, unfortunately. There are some judges who won’t even allow DNA evidence into the courtroom if the presumed father challenges the right to the child. There are others who might allow it, but then still rule that Nottingham has rights. It all depends on the best interest of the child. So, it’s a crap shoot, really.”

“And what makes you even think that Nottingham is going to challenge this? He might just decide that he wants no part in it.”

“He might,” I said. “But I know him. Any chance at all to get at me, he’s going to take. I mean, look at the lengths that he went to put Luke into prison. And what could devastate me more than getting his corrupt hands on my child?”

“True that,” she said. “Well, I’m sorry to hear about all you guys are going through, but I’m happy to help with anything that you might need.” Then she looked at Luke. “You need money, kid? Those lawyer types can get pretty expensive. I speak from experience, there.”

“No,” Luke said. “We’re okay. But, if you were going to offer, I thank you.”

She shrugged. “I was going to offer, but I understand if you don’t want to feel like you owe me. But I’m your big sis. I know that I haven’t always been there for you, because, well, I’ve been kind of a bitch all these years. I’m here for you now, though.”

In spite of himself, Luke smiled and then laughed. “Sorry, Serena, I don’t mean to laugh. It was just the way that you came out with that statement about you being a bitch. It was kinda funny the way that you said it.”

Serena laughed too. “Yeah? Well, I’m glad that you find me humorous, instead of hating me. Maybe you can talk to dad, Chris, Mark and Amy too, huh? I would like to be welcomed back into the family, as opposed to feeling like such a pariah all the time.”

“I’ll be sure to do that,” Luke said, honestly.

We drove along until we got into a tree-lined street of brownstones. There were kids playing on the sidewalk and women walking their dogs. One of them stopped to talk to Serena, and I was kinda amazed about how much Serena seemed to love the dogs. Every time we got to one, she would bend down and baby-talk the animals, and she let every one of them lick her face.

I was charmed by this, really. I always was partial to people who loved animals. I always wished that I had the passion to really commit to animal welfare, like my parents. They really walked the walk. Neither of them used any animal products, at all – they wouldn’t even make Jell-O for me when I was growing up, because it was made with animal products. Lanolin was strictly verboten because it was made from sheep. I knew that even they were not always that way – before they got involved with their animal sanctuary, they ate meat and used animal products.

But I never could commit. I always wanted to, but, somehow peer pressure always got the best of me. It had something to do with my desire to be normal, and I never was because of my abilities. So, I needed something to make me feel like I wasn’t such a freak, so I went along with everyone else and indulged in animal products.

I wondered how Serena felt about all of that. Come to think about it, I had never seen her eat any kind of animal product. Even during the Christmas dinner, she didn’t partake in the turkey. She just made a plate of the trimmings and didn’t make a big deal of it.

We eventually followed Serena into her home. Her home was a two-level place with hardwood floors throughout, and crown moldings. A bay window was in the living room, with throw pillows on the ledge. Her kitchen was enormous, by New York City standards, as it was large enough to have an island in the middle. Her countertops were dark blue granite, and her appliances were all new, including her gas burners. Throughout the home there were houseplants and real trees.

In all, it was a cozy home, yet, by the standards that I was used to in New York, it seemed like a veritable mansion.

“You know,” I said to her. “I never even asked you this. And I don’t think that Luke was very clear, either. What is it that you do?”

She smiled. “I was a law partner at a firm here in town. But we didn’t do family law, so I can’t really help you there. We were more into white-collar defense, so, you know, we got paid the big bucks. We also defended pharmaceutical companies.” She paused. “I got out of that, though, and I got money now because, well, I hate to admit it, but my ex-husband is pretty wealthy.” Her eyes gleamed. “And, what can I say, I know a lot about him. A little too much for his comfort. Which means that I was able to extract a pretty good settlement from him. Now, well, I’m trying to find myself.”

I nodded. I kinda knew what she meant by that. “Trying to find yourself. God, that sounds so familiar.”

“Does it?” she asked. “Well, Dalilah, it’s one thing to try to figure it all out when you’re only 20 years old and haven’t really lived. It’s quite another when you’re 28, gone through college, gone through law school, been married, etc. I should have more figured out than I do. You – well, when you’re 20, you’re not supposed to know crap. So don’t feel bad.”

“But,” I said, and then whispered. “You’re just now trying to come to terms with what happened to you when you were a baby. That’s why you’re having problems right now.”

Serena looked over at Luke, who was examining a picture that she had on her wall. He was apparently oblivious to Serena and me talking, as he examined the shapes and colors that were on the canvas in front of him. That was Luke – sometimes, he could get so lost in a piece of art, he barely knew that he had surroundings at all. “Yes,” she said. “That’s true. Listen, Luke doesn’t know about all of that. I hope you haven’t told him.”

“I haven’t,” I said. “You told me not to, and I’m going to be as good as my word.”

“Thanks,” she said. “I mean, I probably should tell him sometime about it, but I’m afraid that he’s going to freak out. I mean, he had that same baby-sitter. I wonder if she did anything to him when he was a kid? I mean, probably not. One thing about Luke, he’s always been a great kid. Always. Man, sometimes I so much wanted to be like him. Trade places with him. He has always seemed like somebody who not only rolls with the punches, but shakes off the pain of all that has happened to him. When I see Chris, I know what Luke could have turned out like if things would have gone a different way for him. But I’m so glad that it didn’t.”

“Why? What’s up with Chris?”

“Egads. Drugs, cutting, you name it. But Chris was a special case. He saw our mom die. Our mom died trying to save him. That has to fuck up a person, no matter what.”

I nodded my head. “Yeah,” I said. “Sometimes I think that perhaps what happened to me when I was a baby affected me.”

Serena looked at me wisely, as if she knew what had happened with Andrew and my dad. “I suspected as much. You’ve known darkness. I mean, I know that Luke has told me about how criticism made you turn against yourself, but I always thought that there was something more.”

“There was. When I was a baby, I was so afraid that my dad was going to die. I couldn’t even put it into words. I was a young child, yet I knew that there were things that were seriously wrong. My dad was shot, he almost died, and I was always afraid that he would just not wake up one day. And, well, I think that I always carried around the fear that I almost died, too, when this crazed gun-man had me.”

I then launched into the story of Andrew, my father and my mother. “Well, that explains it,” she said, taking my hand. “Perhaps that was why your art was always so deep. So dark. You know, I’ve looked at your stuff on-line. It amazed me that you were only 11, not just because you had the ability to do what you did, but also because you had the experience to produce that stuff. Those raw, explosive paintings. They came from somewhere. They weren’t the work of a girl who hadn’t known tragedy.”

I smiled. Perhaps Serena was right. I had never even thought about what kind of hurt and rage was bubbling beneath the surface when I composed that stuff. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. And that was probably why I became so depressed when I lost my voice and my abilities. Because I no longer had an outlet for what I was feeling. Not just about that stuff about my dad almost dying, and me being in the arms of a crazy man. But also because I have never felt like I have fit in. As much as I’ve always wanted to be normal, it was very difficult for me. And I think that my art always reflected that.”

Serena nodded her head. “That was what I saw, too, when I looked at your paintings. Someone who was really like me. Because I never fit in, either. I always had the special sight that made me feel that I was weird. The ability to see things and know things which others couldn’t. I mean, there was a spirit who befriended me when I was 11. And my dad would come into the room when I was talking to Thomas. That was his earthly name. He didn’t understand. He scolded me, and told me that I was too old for imaginary friends. So, I tried to tell Thomas to go away, but he wouldn’t. And, goddamn it, I really didn’t want him to. He understood me, more than anybody in my family ever did.”

I smiled, and put my arm around her. “Ah, we’re two freaks, aren’t we? Nobody would ever know by looking at us, though.” I looked over at Luke, who was at another of Serena’s paintings, carefully examining it. “I wonder if Luke has ever felt like that. Ostracized, like an outcast. He’s such a good-natured, gorgeous guy. I doubt that he has ever felt like that.”

“Well,” Serena said. “Maybe not to the extent that we have. But, come on, if he’s human, then he’s felt moments of being weird and less-than. I’m quite sure. If he hasn’t, then he’s the weird one, not us.”