Trapped With the Alpha (Balfour Shifters Book 1) (22 page)

Slowly reaching out to grab another shot, I eye it with disdain, as if it’s going to jump out and bite me or something. Laughing at what must be a very comedic look on my face, Blair nudges the glass toward my lips. “You’ll like it. I promise.”

Releasing a breath, I slowly raise it to my mouth. Shooting it back a second later, I am surprised to find that she is actually telling the truth, and the flavor and gentle warmth the shot leaves behind are actually quite nice.

Placing the empty glass down, I turn to see that Blair is on the edge of her seat, seemingly prepared for me to start in on another choking fit. “All right, I’ll give this one to you. These are actually pretty damn good.”

A hoot leaves her as she throws a fist up into the air. “Ha! See, I told you these were good. Now, grab another one and drink up.”

Grabbing another, I slam it back as Blair slams three back in a row. “Damn, I forgot how much I love these things.”

I smile at her, loving her exuberance, then take another shot. “I might fall in love with them, too, before the night is up.”

“Okay, now that we’ve taken the edge off, tell me. How did everything go tonight? I noticed things seemed a little tense between you two when Finn and I first arrived.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I reach forward and grab another shot. I quickly throw it back and swallow it down. “Not much to say. More of the same old thing. I can’t let go of my anger, and he can’t let go of his frustration regarding me being so angry.” 

Rolling my neck from side to side in an attempt to release some the tension that has immediately seeped into my body with the very mention of our ongoing issues, I release a sigh and turn to face Blair. “However, I really noticed what my anger is doing to him.” 

Blair just shoots me a questioning glance, silently urging me to continue. 

“It’s just, I’ve been so wrapped up in my own emotions, I haven’t taken more than a second to consider how he feels. You know?” I look up from my lap, where I have been twisting my fingers together, to see Blair nodding her head along in silent agreement.

 It wouldn’t surprise me if she’s been waiting for me to realize this all along. It seems I’ve been the only one naïve enough to believe I was the only one truly affected by this whole mess. He fell apart while I was gone. He became a completely different man. 

“I know I’ve said it before, Blair, but I seriously mean it. If there was a way for me to wipe my memory clean and forget about all the shit in the past, I would do it in a heartbeat. Now that I’m aware of the pain my anger is causing him, I just don’t know if I can do it anymore.”

“Don’t say that, Izzy,” she whispers, leaning over to grab my hand. “He couldn’t live without you.”

 “I’m his mate. I should be here to lift him up, not bring him down. Who’s there for him to lean on when he needs someone? Not me. I’ve left him literally alone to deal with all of this.” I feel tears well in my eyes, and I instinctively reach up to wipe them away. “What if Elise is right? What if this is all part of the spell and my anger just continues to grow?”

“I don’t know, sweetie.” Releasing my hand, Blair grabs another shot and places it in front of me before slamming her own back. “We need more alcohol.”

Placing her empty shot glass down, she turns back toward me and grabs a hold of my hand again. “I know this has been really hard on you, Iz. I also know how hard it is for you to explain what you’re going through.”

Releasing her hand, I grab the shot still sitting in front of me and slurp it back before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. This depressing conversation has caused me to not give a flying fuck about how ladylike or not I’m being at the moment. “So, what do I do, Blair? How do I let go of all of this and give him what he needs, what he deserves?”

Glancing over her shoulder, she quickly scoots her stool closer to mine and leans forward to talk directly into my ear. In a hushed voice, she begins to talk at the speed of lightening, making her discomfort with this topic more than apparent. “Finn would kill me if he knew I was about to tell you this. Hell, Brody would probably torture me for the next thousand years if he found out, but I can’t watch you do this anymore.” 

I turn my head slightly, frowning as I try to decipher what exactly it is she is trying to say. “Just spit it out. I don’t have the energy to play any more guessing games tonight.”

“I might just know someone who can help you forget,” she whispers, still looking uncomfortable. 

“What are you talking about?” I ask, speaking as quietly.

“Do you know Molly, Graham’s mate?”

I nod, and she goes on. “She was raped, years ago.”

Not quite meeting her eyes, I mumble, “Yeah, I know.”

I know the story; everyone does. It was during the Civil War, and Graham found her still bloody and beaten. He claimed her as soon as he laid eyes on her, and they have been together ever since. It took nearly a year for her to tell her mate what happened. He nearly went crazy after she told him. He and the pack hunted the men down and killed each and every one of them. Through the years, I have watched Brody and his pack in many bloody battles, but what they did to those men will be forever burned in my brain.  

“She’s been struggling with it for all these years,” Blair continues, tears filling her eyes. “She said, even after all these years, she couldn’t get their faces out of her mind.”

“I can imagine,” I say, reaching up to wipe away a stray tear. “I don’t know if someone could ever forget something like that.”

“Last week, she mentioned that she was going to see someone to help her forget.” Leaning closer to me, she all but spits out the next part. “Before she went, I made her give me the person’s address, in case something happened to her.”

“She went by herself?” I ask, knowing how pissed her mate would be.

She nods before replying. “I couldn’t talk her out of going, and she wouldn’t let me go with, so it was the best I could do.”

“And?” I ask, now leaning forward myself. “Did it work?”

Anticipation fills my body as the realization of what this could mean for me hits me. If I were able to forget everything I saw, Brody and I would have a chance. I could have my mate back. More importantly, he could have his mate back. We could have a chance at a real future together. 

“She came over the next day, and she was a totally different person. Well, not totally different, but a hell of a lot happier. I asked her if everything went all right, and she looked at me with confusion, like she didn’t understand why I would be asking her such a thing.”

“Shit,” I whisper as excitement starts to fill my body. “So, it worked?”

“I guess so.” She shrugs, looking around the bar. “She never mentioned what happened again. I haven’t bothered to bring it up, for fear of her going back to the dark place she was once in.”

“You have to give me this address, Blair,” I urge as I reach out to grab both of her hands in desperation. “Please. I will do anything to forget.”

Looking down at our threaded fingers, she glances up at me through her lashes before nodding her head once in silent agreement. “Okay, hun. I know what this means to you. I’ll text you the address, but you really need to think about this. I don’t know if this person Molly went to is a doctor or what. All I know is that she was going to see a woman. She’s really into all that new age stuff, so she might have went to someone to get hypnotized.”

“I don’t care who helped her, as long as they can do the same for me,” I say, nervousness replacing my anger. “I don’t think Brody would let me go see anyone to help me forget. He’d be afraid that something could go wrong.”

She nods, leaning close to me. “No, he won’t. If you do this, you won’t be able to tell him, and I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

I start to reply, when Brody’s face flashes across my mind. He’s in so much damn pain. I can’t keep letting him go through this crap with me. “I’ll think about it before I go. Just make sure you text me the address.”

She pulls out her phone, pushes some buttons, and then shoves it back in her purse. “There you go, but God help us both if your mate finds out.”

Jumping off my stool, I throw my arms around her and hug her as tight as I can. “Thank you, Blair. You have no damn idea how much this means to me. I won’t tell anyone. You have my word.”

Pulling back from her, I wipe away the tears that have run down my cheeks. Except, this time, they aren’t tears of sadness or anger. They’re tears of happiness and joy. Releasing a breath that seems to contain all the pent up stress in my body, I lean forward and grab another two shots, slamming one down in front of each of us. “Okay, drink up. Now, we really have cause for celebration.”

Laughing, she grabs her glass and clinks the rim against my own. “Cheers, bitch. This is to happier times on the horizon.”

“Damn right,” I say, just before we both toss back our drinks.

In what seems like no time at all, the tray of shots is empty, and Blair and I have taken up residence on the packed dance floor. I don’t know what exactly was in those Jell-O shots, but I swear I don’t have a care in the world right now. The only thing on my mind is the sway of my hips and the need to keep time to the beat of the music.

I have no idea how long we’ve been dancing for, when I feel hands slide around my waist from behind me. Knowing immediately it’s Brody, I lean back into his muscled chest and continue to sway my ass from side to side, gently grinding up against his crotch. 

Leaning down, he peppers my neck with tiny kisses, licking as he makes his way up to my ear. “All right, my love, it’s time to take this little show back to our bedroom. I can’t have you grinding against my dick in public now, can I?” He finalizes his statement with a sharp nip to my earlobe.

Turning in his arms so I can throw my arms around his neck, I rise up on my toes and capture his mouth in a slow sensual kiss. “Yes, Brody,” I say on an exhale. “Take me home.”

A low growl bubbles up from his throat as he reaches back to release my grasped hands from behind his neck. Threading my small hand in his large one, he begins to drag me toward the door at a near run. Laughing, I begin to pull back on his hand in an attempt to get him to slow down. 

He turns to look at me over his shoulder, then throws me a questioning glance before I say, “You haven’t even said goodbye to anyone.”

Shaking his head at me, he turns around and faces the packed bar behind me. “Yo, listen up,” he bellows. “I’m taking my woman home to fuck her all night long.”

Laughing, I just shake my head at him. The alcohol has left me unable to care what he just yelled out in a public bar filled with people. “Okay, mate, let’s go fuck.”

“You forgot all night long.” Grabbing my hand again, he continues his pursuit to leave. Catcalls and shouts sound behind us as everyone makes their happiness for their Alpha known. 

Just as we are about to head out the door, something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. Turning, I catch sight of a petite redhead in a bright blue dress. The sight of her pulls every bit of happiness out of my body. 

Seriously? I was so damn close to finally ending the night with a bang, and this happens. Seems there will still be a bang to end the night, but I’ll be damned if it will be what Brody has in mind.

Brody

FOLLOWING IZZY
up the stairs, I know she’s pissed, but I have no idea why. She had a great time at The Den. She and Blair shared about twenty Jell-O shots then spent the night dancing their asses off. Her laughter was music to my ears. Not to mention, watching her sway that sexy little ass of hers on the dance floor was more than enough to make my dick hard as fuck. For a while there, I started thinking we were finally on the right track. Then, on the way out of the bar, she froze up and wouldn’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. 

 Something pissed her off, but she won’t tell me what happened to change her mood so quickly. It doesn’t seem to matter how much I beg, her lips are sealed. It seems like she’s always pissed. I keep reminding myself of all she’s been through, but that shit is getting old. How long am I gonna have to pay for something I didn’t even know about, something I had no control over? All I want is to make her happy, and it’s becoming more and more clear to me that I’m just not able to do that anymore. 

She knows I would’ve never betrayed her if I remembered her or our connection. A shifter never cheats on his mate. It’s unheard of. Shifters mate for life. Not being with your mate causes a great deal of pain and agony. The last eight-hundred years of my life are proof of that. 

I may not have felt her pain, but I knew something wasn’t right. I spent eight-hundred years living with this uncontrollable longing. It’s like I had a gaping void that ceased to go away, no matter what I did. It’s because of that void that we’re standing here about to fight yet again. Every time I try to explain that to her, we end up fighting. 

“What’s wrong?” I ask as we walk into our bedroom.

Instead of answering, Izzy stomps past me and rushes to the closet. Following behind her, I make sure to keep a few feet between us, as the anger is now visibly rolling off of her in great waves. Almost instantly, she starts throwing my clothes onto the bedroom floor, still refusing to make eye contact with me. “Get rid of this shit.”