Trashed (29 page)

So fucking full. He’s in me, his heat diffuses over my skin, his eyes penetrate mine and see my soul and he knows my secrets and he’s looking at me like he can’t get enough. He’s so deeply impaled in me that I can’t take any more of him. But then he lifts me by the hips and drives deeper, and holy
fuck
it seems I can take more of him, and still I need him harder faster deeper
more
…

And now he’s pulling back slowly, sliding his length nearly out of me in a teasingly slow glide, and then he pistons all the way in so hard my tits bounce and I shriek involuntarily, gasping, reaching for him, leaning forward and gripping his hips and pulling at him, because
Jesus
did that feel good.

“Again…” I breathe, “Adam, do that again.”

His grin is pleased and hungry. “You like that, huh?”

“Fuck yes.”
 

“You like it hard? A little rough?” He pulls out in the same slow withdrawal, tightens his grip on my waist, and then slams in as hard as the last time, and my eyes cross from the spear of superheated ecstasy that explodes through me when he’s deep and hard like that.
 

“Yes, Adam, yes…god, I do, I like it when you fuck me hard.”
 

“Then I’ll give it to you hard.” He pushes deep, leans over me and his cock is buried in me, filling me, and his lips find mine, kissing me with a sweet lingering tenderness that has my eyes pricking and my heart swelling in my chest. It’s a kiss that tells me, no matter how hard and rough he may be about to fuck me, he’s doing so with a heart full of—

No.

Nope.

Not letting myself go there. Even now, I can’t let myself believe it’s that,
that
word. For him, or me. That would be too much like every girl’s fantasy, and too much like everything I’ve ever wanted, and if I let myself want it or feel it with Adam, and it’s taken away, I’ll shatter.

So I accept thoughts like “tenderness” and “sweetness”, and keep that other word at bay, buried deep, deep, deep in the shadowy recesses of my consciousness.
 

Adam straightens, lifts my legs and places the backs of my thighs against his chest so my feet extend past his head. He scoots closer to me so my ass is flush against him, and I can’t even breathe from how deep he is, can’t see from the dizzy, heady splendor of his cock so big and hard and hot and perfect inside me…

And then he moves.

He pulls back, wrapping his hands around my thighs just below my knees, and drives in. It’s gentle, that time. A warning shot, so to speak. And god, I’m already breathless, a taut fiery tension coiled in my belly, making my toes curl and my fingers scrabble desperately at whatever flesh I can find. Another thrust, this one a little harder, and a gasp is driven from me.
 

“Oh
fuck
, Adam…”
 

“Is it good?”

“So good.”
 

“You want more?”
 

“God yes, more.” My voice shakes.

His eyes don’t waver from mine, nor mine from his, as he sets a slow and steady rhythm, grinding deep, pulling out slowly and then thrusting in, faster and faster. Harder and harder. Between my open thighs, I can see his still-bruised torso rippling and tensing as he thrusts, the granite-hard slabs of muscle shifting beneath his dusky skin, the faint scrim of hair beading with sweat. His massive arms cling to my thighs for leverage as he begins to fuck in earnest now, slamming into me with relentless vigor, his flesh slapping against mine, and the detonation inside me is building, ecstasy piling upon bliss piling upon whatever is beyond that.

Nirvana, perhaps?
 

Heaven?
 

Completion, maybe.
 

I lift my hips to meet his thrusts, and deep-throated, unladylike grunts leave me with each clapping orgasmic meeting of our bodies. He’s grunting with me, groaning and cursing and his skin gleams with sweat, veins stand out, muscles ripple and flex, and I feel like I’m being ripped apart in the most incredible way by the exploding need behind each pounding thrust of his body.

“Adam…I’m gonna come.”

“Let me hear you, Des. Scream for me, babe. Scream my name when you come all over my cock.”

“Only if you scream my name too.”
 

“Deal.” He grins at me, white teeth flashing and pale beautiful green eyes hot and intent on mine.

I feel my pussy clench, feel the tension snap like a rubber band and tears start in my eyes, a gasping sob borne of raw intensity ripping from me.
 

And then, in that exact moment, when the orgasm breaks free, Adam releases my legs and bends over me so we’re face to face. His cock pistons into me in wildly fast thrusts, mad and manic, and his mouth claims mine, a breathless kiss.

“ADAM!” I shout his name as I shatter, heat suffusing my body, my thighs locked in a vise-grip around his waist and my hips grinding.

And then, inexplicably, at the peak of my climax, he slows his pace. I claw at his ass with my hands, pull at him and shriek with frustration.
 

He pulls out slow, hesitates, his eyes on mine, and then he slams his cock into me hard and fast, and I scream. “Fuck, Des,
fuck
, I’m coming, I’m coming.” He withdraws, an infinitesimal pause, and then his thick pulsing cock rams home.
 

He’s shaking, his thrusts slow and desperate. His eyes are locked on mine, but I can tell it’s an effort to keep them open. I cling to his neck, legs around his waist, lips pressed to his ear. “Come, Adam, come inside me. Yes…” I whisper it, writhing my hips. “Yes, keep going, Adam. Keep fucking me. Keep coming.” I’ve got a penchant for cursing, but talking dirty like this is something I never knew I was capable of. Yet with Adam, it just seems right, it just emerges from me involuntarily.
 

His thrust falters as he buries himself deep. I roll so I’m on top, slide my knees forward and my ass backward, hands on his chest, and push his cock as deep as it will go, push
hard
, and he lifts up with his hips and grips my thighs in his powerful hands and roars loudly and wordlessly. I pull my pussy forward, and then drive back down as hard as I can, watching as his eyes squeeze closed and the veins on his neck and forearms and biceps pulse and his abs go taut. I feel his heat within me, feel his cock throbbing.
 

Once more, then, I lift up, angling my hips back slightly to pull his shaft away from his body, and sit down hard.

“FUCK!” he groans. “Des…my fucking god,
Des
…”

He’s gasping for breath, we both are, and we’re both coated in sweat, shaking all over.
 

I’m still trembling from my own orgasm, aftershocks quaking my body as I impale myself on him one last shuddering time, and then I can’t stay upright on him. I pull him free of my body with a whimper, and then fall to the bed beside him.
 

“Jesus, Des.”
 

“That was…”

His chest is heaving, abs tensing and relaxing with each deep breath. “That was fucking
intense
.”
 

“It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.”

He rolls to his side, facing me, cups my cheek with his palm, eyes honest and sincere. “Me too. I never knew it could feel that way.” He slides his lips over mine, a brief, hot kiss.
 

“It’s not always like this for you?”

He shakes his head. “No. Never.” Adam plants a fist in the pillow by my head, lifts up, and this time the kiss is deep, soul-scouring, demanding all the emotion in my soul be offered up for the taking, for the tasting. “There’s a…
connection
…with us that I never even knew was possible. I
feel
you, Des. I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t mean just physically, but I mean fuck, yeah, the way sex with you feels is so much more than I’ve ever felt before, but that’s not what I mean. You, me,
us
, it’s something more.”
 

I want to believe that. I want that to be true. Because I feel it, too. “Don’t lie to me, Adam. Don’t feed me bullshit. Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear.” I’m too vulnerable, too emotional, and my defense mechanisms are kicking into overdrive.
 

But Adam is there, somehow
inside
me, inside those mechanisms. “Hey. Don’t try and shut me out now, Des. Don’t you fucking dare.” He takes my hand and places my palm over his heart. It’s thumping hard and fast. His eyes bore into mine. “Come back, Des. Come back to me, baby.”

Babe
is one thing.
Baby
…that’s got “attached” written all over it. It’s deep, familiar. No one has ever called me anything but my name. No one has ever cared enough about me to use terms of endearment. Except Ruthie, of course, who is really all the family I’ve ever had.
 

I blink hard and squeeze my hands into fists and fight my fear of emotional vulnerability. “I’m here.”
 

He sits up, swings his legs off the bed. “Don’t move. Don’t even blink. I’ll be right back.” He’s in the bathroom for a split second, it seems, and then he’s back sans condom.
 

And then, somehow, I’m wrapped up in him. His arms are circled around me, my head tucked beneath his chin, my body tangled with his. I feel the stickiness of his come on his cock as it lies against my thigh. My skin cools as the sweat dries, and I feel his pulse thrumming in his throat, in his chest.
 

He doesn’t ask anything of me. Doesn’t demand I tell him how I feel or try to kiss me. He drags the blankets over us both and holds me. And this, it turns out, is the magical key to unlocking the gates. He holds me and the fear reflex, the instinct to protect myself from getting to close to anyone, fades into nothingness.

Chapter 14

We’re sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office. Adam is beside me, reading a magazine. I notice he’s been probing at his ribs every once in a while.
 

“Adam?” He glances up at me. “How are your ribs?”

He shrugs. “They’re fine,” he says. “They’ll heal.”
 

“Does it hurt?”

He shakes his head. “Not really. Aches a little.”

“What was the stunt?”

He closes his magazine. “Jumping from the roof of a warehouse to the top of a moving train. The director wanted the landing to look a certain way, and I kept messing it up. Well, on the last take, the train was moving too fast, so instead of my jump being timed to land in the middle of the car, I hit the back edge, caught it with my stomach. Some bruising, nothing I can’t handle.” He’s obviously trying to make light of it.

“Wait. You were jumping onto the roof of a
moving
train? Like, for real? Isn’t that dangerous?”

He shrugs. “It’s what I do.”

“That’s crazy! You could’ve been killed!”

“It’s all carefully orchestrated and planned out. And, honestly, if you think about it, it’s no less crazy than putting on some pads and letting other guys tackle you on the field. Playing football, you risk concussion and broken bones every single day. Every practice, every game, you risk injury. In acting, even the most dangerous stunts are planned down to the most minute detail. And this stunt, yeah, it went wrong, but that’s one scene out of hundreds. And that’s the most difficult one we’ll do on this project. It’s not a big deal.”

“Did we make it worse, last night?”
 

He winks at me. “Babe, I didn’t even feel it. In college, I played injured several times. I played a full game with a sprained wrist once. Bruises like this were so commonplace you didn’t even mention them, honestly. A cracked rib would be a different story, but this is just some bruising.”

I’m focusing on him, rather than my nerves. We’re at a gynecologist to get me on birth control. Adam insisted on going with me, and on having Oliver drive us. Which meant avoiding Oliver’s knowing smirk. God. How embarrassing. Twenty-two, almost twenty-three, and I’m just now going on birth control for the first time. And I was driven to the appointment by a bodyguard, with my famous movie star boyfriend sitting beside me.

Boyfriend? Is that what he is? Is this an actual
thing
between us? If he’s willing to sit in a gynecologist’s office with me, I’d guess so.
 

I have a boyfriend.
 

Holy shit. That excites me more than I’m comfortable admitting even to myself.

Adam catches my giddy grin. “What?”

I shrug and shake my head. “I just…I don’t know. It’s silly. I’ll tell you later.”

“Okay, then.” He smiles and shrugs.

The door between the waiting area and the exam rooms opens. A young woman with curly brown hair and dark green scrubs stands in the doorway, propping the door open with a foot, an iPad in her hand.
 

She glances up. “Destiny Ross?”
 

Adam frowns and looks at me. I blush and refuse to meet his confused gaze.
 

The nurse looks at me. “Destiny Ross?” she repeats.
 

I stand up. “That’s…that’s me.” I move toward the nurse, saying, “I go by Des.”
 

“Des, then. Come on back, Dr. Guzman will see you now.”
 

I turn back to Adam, who has a puzzled frown on his face. I shrug at him, and then the door is closing behind me, and the nurse is having me step on a scale and measuring my height, noting the results in her iPad. And then I’m in an exam room, and the nurse is in the doorway.

Her eyes are wide as she leans toward me. “Your boyfriend, is that—?”
 

I nod, and can’t stop a wide, giddy grin from crossing my face. “Yeah.”

“Damn. You go, girl!”
 

I wave her over. “But you can’t say anything to anyone, okay? Please?”
 

She tugs on a brown ringlet. “Can I tell my roommate I met him, at least?”

I shrug. “Sure. Just…don’t take any pictures or anything. He’s here privately, for me. It’s important.”
 

She nods. “No problem.” She giggles and shakes her head. “I can’t believe you’re dating Adam Trenton. That’s so cool.”