Treading Water (43 page)

“
You underestimate him if
you think he can walk away from you and your children and go back
to the life we had together like you never happened. That’s not who
he is, but I probably don’t have to tell you that. Besides, the
life we had is gone now anyway.”

“
You don’t know that yet.
You have to give it some time. Your family’s been through so much.”
Andi didn’t know why she was trying to convince Clare to give her
marriage a chance. It seemed like the right thing to do.

“
I could give it from now
until the end of time, but he won’t stop loving you, and every time
he leaves my house to see your children, I’ll have to wonder if
he’s coming home to me because he wants to or because he has to. I
don’t want a husband who’s so loyal he’ll spend the rest of his
life living with me because he promised he would when he’s in love
with someone else. After all that’s happened to me, I want more out
of the rest of my life than that.”

Andi’s racing heart slowed to a crawl.
“What’re you saying, Clare?”

“
I want what I had. But
since I can’t have that now, I’m letting him go. Maybe you two will
work things out. Maybe you won’t.” Clare shrugged. “I’m getting out
of here in another month or two and going home. I have my girls,
and someday maybe I’ll go back to work. I don’t know. I’ll be all
right, though.”

“
I don’t know what to say,”
Andi said, flabbergasted.

“
I’m glad you came and we
had the chance to meet.”

“
I am, too.” Andi struggled
to her feet, overwhelmed by their conversation and Clare’s
strength. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances. We
might’ve been friends.” She extended a hand to Clare.

Clare took her hand and squeezed it before
letting go. “Maybe someday we will be.”

“
Take care of yourself,
Clare.”

“
You, too. Good luck with
the delivery. I hope it goes smoothly for you.”

“
Thank you.” Andi waved
good-bye from the door and replayed their conversation on the long
walk back to the car. Clare’s generosity had been astounding. Andi
had expected Clare to insist she never see Jack again, and she
would’ve understood that. The one thing she never could’ve imagined
was Jack’s wife stepping aside. Andi’s heart gave a happy flutter
at the thought that maybe, just maybe, there might still be a
chance for her and Jack after all.

Clare was working on a simple needlepoint
sampler the occupational therapist had given her when Jack arrived
at her room. He stood in the doorway for a minute and watched her.
“Look at you go,” he finally said.

“
Oh, hi. Come in. I’m
making a mess out of this.” Seeming frustrated, Clare pushed the
needlepoint aside.

“
You’ll get the hang of it
again.”

“
I was standing up on
crutches today.”

“
That’s so great. I can’t
believe how far you’ve come in such a short time.”

“
I’m feeling every muscle,
believe me.”

“
I’m sure you are. I got
your message. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. I was working
in Boston today and then got stuck in traffic on the way home. You
said you wanted to see me?” He came to see her just about every
evening lately, but she’d called to make sure he came that
night.

“
Have a seat.” She invited
him to sit next to her on the small sofa and reached for his hand.
“I have a theory,” she said with a smile.

“
And what’s that?” He was
relieved to see the Clare he’d once known reemerging little by
little.

“
Do you know why we stayed
together all those years when it seemed like everyone we knew was
splitting up?”

“
I always thought it was
because we loved each other,” he said, not sure what she was
getting at.

“
Yes, but it was also
because neither of us ever wanted anyone or anything else. We were
completely content with each other. That’s not the case anymore, is
it?”

As her words sank in, he looked down at the
floor. He couldn’t deny that when he lay awake, night after night,
it wasn’t his wife he longed for but the dark-haired beauty who’d
stolen his heart the first time he ever saw her.

“
I met her
today.”

His gaze whipped up to meet
Clare’s. “You
did
?
How?”

“
I called her and asked her
to come see me. I like her. I didn’t want to, but I do.”

As he tried to imagine Andi and Clare
engaged in a civilized conversation, he remembered Jill once saying
almost the same thing about Andi.

Clare took a deep breath. “It’s over for us,
Jack.”

“
But—”

She held up a hand to quiet him. “You aren’t
to blame, and neither is she. The man who attacked me is the one to
blame. I see that now. But we can’t change the simple truth that
you love someone else, and since I won’t ask you to choose, I’m
deciding for both of us. I’ve already contacted Coop and asked him
to start the process,” she said, referring to their friend and
attorney. “I’ll file, so no one can ever accuse you of leaving me
for her. I won’t have anyone belittling what we had together by
dragging you through the mud.”

“
You had a busy day while I
was in Boston,” he said, astounded. “So that’s it? That
simple?”

“
Not simple at all. It
hurts like hell, but it’s the only thing I can do. I can’t spend
the rest of my life with someone who wants to be somewhere else,
even if you’d spend every day pretending otherwise if that’s what
it took to do the right thing. I know you’d never leave me, so I’m
leaving you.”

“
Without even giving me a
chance?”

“
Would it matter? A year
from now, will you feel differently about her?”

He shook his head as he realized she’d made
up her mind. “What’ll we tell the girls?”

“
The truth—that too much
time has gone by, too much has happened, and we couldn’t go back.
They’ll understand. They lived it.”

“
I’ll take care of you. You
know that, don’t you?”

“
I know you will. All I
want is the house and enough to pay the bills until I can get back
to work. Jill and Kate will be in college. We can figure something
out so Maggie spends time with both of us.”

“
None of that’s a problem,
but about Kate and college…” He’d put this conversation off long
enough. “She’s not going this year.”

“
What do you mean? Of
course she is.”

“
I’ve given her a year to
focus on her music. She’s enormously talented. You saw for yourself
at her graduation. She has one year from her eighteenth birthday to
land a recording contract. If she doesn’t, she has to come home and
go to college.”

“
Come home from
where?”

“
Nashville.”

“
I can’t believe you agreed
to this! You know how I feel about them going to
college!”

“
Which is why I fought this
at first. Then Jamie reminded me of what caused the terrible rift
between my father and me. I didn’t speak to him for years because
he didn’t understand that I needed to go my own way. I couldn’t let
history repeat itself. I wouldn’t have been able to stand that with
one of my kids. You weren’t here, and I had to decide. I hope
you’ll respect my decision. She hasn’t applied anywhere, so it’s
too late for September, anyway.”

“
I guess we can give her a
year,” she said, surprising him. “I’m not thrilled about it, but I
remember how much your father hurt you. I don’t want that for our
children any more than you do.”

“
I appreciate that, and I
know she will, too.”

“
You should know that when
I talked to Coop today, I told him everything—about Sam Turner and
Andi and the babies. While I don’t care if anyone else does, I
wanted him to understand why I’m doing this and why I want it done
quickly.” She paused and looked up at him. “You’ll want to marry
her before the babies are born.”

“
Clare—”

She took his hand again. “Thank you for all
you did to care for me while I was sick, for making sure I had the
therapy that’s given me a chance to reclaim my life, for visiting
and bringing flowers, and all the times you brought my girls to see
me.”

She’d obviously been talking to Sally and
the other nurses who’d cared for her.

“
Thank you for all the
wonderful years we had together. Let’s not have any regrets. We had
a good run, but it’s over now.”

Filled with nothing but regret, he shook his
head. “I never wanted us to end up this way, Clare.”

“
I know.”

He reached out to hug her. “We’ll talk to
the girls together tomorrow?”

She nodded.

“
I’ll see you then.” He
stood to leave. “You know where I am if you need anything, right?
Ever?”

“
Yes.”

Lingering at the door, he couldn’t bring
himself to leave.

“
It’s okay, Jack,” she said
softly. “Go.”

When they gathered in Clare’s room the next
day to break the news to the girls, Maggie was sad, but Jill and
Kate were resigned. They were old enough to understand how much had
happened while their mother was sick and could see how it was
impossible for their parents to get back what they’d lost.

“
Will you marry Andi, Dad?”
Maggie asked, and all eyes turned to him.

“
Would you mind if I
did?”

“
Would
you
, Mom?” Kate asked.

“
If that’s what Dad wants,
I wouldn’t object, honey. The one thing you have to remember is
that even after everything our family’s been through, and now that
Dad and I aren’t going to live together anymore, we’ll always love
you guys. Nothing could ever change that.”

“
Where will I live?” Maggie
asked in a small voice.

“
You and I will still live
in our house, and I’m sure you’ll spend lots of time at Dad’s
house, too,” Clare said.

“
Where will you live, Dad?”
Jill asked.

“
I don’t know yet, but
wherever I end up, there’ll be plenty of room for all of you,” he
assured them, and they were satisfied.

Drained after the emotional conversation,
Jack went back to the office while the girls stayed with their
mother to help at her afternoon physical therapy session.

Jamie and Frannie were returning from lunch
when he pulled into the HBA parking lot.

“
Do you guys have a few
minutes? There’s something I need your help with,” Jack said as he
walked in with them.

“
Sure,” Frannie said.
“Jamie’s parents are with the twins, so I’ve got the day
off.”

“
Great, thanks,” Jack said.
“I have to make a phone call, and then I’ll find you in Jamie’s
office.”

After asking Quinn to join them, he went
into his office and closed the door. He dialed Cooper Hayes’s
number.

“
Jack, how are
you?”

“
Holding up, Coop. How are
you? The family’s well?”

“
We’re all doing fine. We
were so happy to hear Clare’s on the mend.”

“
She’s making amazing
progress. I heard she called you yesterday.”

“
She did, and it’s a damned
shame. I’m sorry for both of you. What happened to her… I guess I
don’t have to tell you.”

“
No, you don’t.” Jack still
had trouble even thinking about it, but the white-hot rage he’d
felt initially had abated somewhat as he tried to follow Clare’s
lead by putting it behind him.

“
I was over to the hospital
this morning, and she’s filed the initial paperwork,” Coop said.
“Seems pretty straightforward. She’s asked for the house, temporary
spousal support, child support, and joint custody for Maggie and
Kate, until Kate turns eighteen in November. That’s about
it.”

“
Not a problem. I’d also
like to provide a cash settlement to ensure she’s financially
independent.” Jack named a seven-figure sum that elicited a low
whistle from Coop.

“
That’s very generous. I’ll
get the papers moving today. I understand there’s a need for
expediency.”

“
Yes,” Jack said but didn’t
elaborate, knowing Clare had already told him the whole story. “I’d
like to get the paperwork by the tenth. Does three weeks give you
enough time?”

“
No problem. I’ll get it
moving for you.”

“
Thanks, Coop. Before I let
you go, can you recommend a good private investigator?”

Chapter 32

Andi awoke early on the twenty-fourth of
August and moved to take some of the pressure off her aching back.
The pain in her lower back had become almost unbearable overnight,
but it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart as she waited
weeks without a word from Jack.

Surely by now Clare had told him she was
leaving him. Had she changed her mind? Had he changed his? Why
hadn’t he come to her? Andi jumped out of her skin every time the
phone rang, went giddy with anticipation at every knock on the
door, and spent big chunks of time looking out the window, waiting
for his car to pull into the lot. It took all her willpower not to
pump Kate for information during their regular visits, but she
never gave anything away.