Tremble (11 page)

12

We stopped at a gas station to fill up and grab munchies. I suggested Kale go in and pay while I finished with the gas to save some time, but he only glared at me and waited, arms crossed, as Ginger’s ancient gas-guzzler sucked in fuel.

Some people were just so damn untrusting.

When he was done paying, he stood by while I called Mom’s cell—mainly because I knew she wouldn’t actually answer—and left a message. I told her I was safe and following a lead. It would piss them off that I was so vague, but it would buy me time and hopefully get Ginger to stop calling. Each time the phone rang Kale grew more and more agitated. In his condition, there was no telling what might push him over the edge, and I had no desire to find out.

We couldn’t have been on the road more than forty minutes when an unfamiliar tone rang out. From the corner of my eye, I watched Kale fish in his jacket pocket and pull out a cell. Somewhere on earth, pigs were getting ready to fly. “You have a phone? Seriously?”

He ignored me and held it up to the ear farthest from me. “Yeah?”

I couldn’t make out what was said on the other end but I could tell it was a guy, and I did catch Dad’s name once or twice.

“Aubrey and I split to follow two different leads. He went to Bakersfield and I went to check on Thom Morris. Morris supposedly left home last month. I spoke to the mother. She says he went to stay with friends. I’m going to check it out before heading back.”

A lie. Thom Morris was missing. That’s what his mother had told me. She never mentioned anything about him staying with friends. If Kale was lying to Denazen there was a chance Thom was still alive.

The person on the other end said something and Kale’s lips twisted into an angry scowl. “Tell her I’ll be back later. I’m not a dog. I do not need a leash.” He mashed the end button and stuffed the phone back in his pocket with a growl.

“Aww. Trouble in paradise? Lemme guess. Your skank is a little too clingy?”

“Watch your mouth,” he said in a low, dangerous voice. “And mind your own business.”

“Whatever.” I shrugged. “But you may have to drive soon. I can’t keep my eyes open over here.”

“I don’t like to drive.”

“Oh, that’s right. You don’t know how.”

“I know
how
. I just don’t like to do it.”

I took the on ramp and brought us back to the interstate. Connecticut was about ninety miles away according to the sign we’d passed. Since seeing Kale at the Nix party a few nights ago, I’d gotten little to no sleep. Add to that last night’s midnight hike and the four-hour drive this morning, and I was running on fumes. It was starting to catch up to me. “When was the last time you drove a car, Kale? Do you even remember?”

He was quiet for a moment, then slammed his hand down on the dash beside the wheel. “When I lost my memories, I forgot. Roz had to teach me again. I’m not very good at it.”

“We’re probably a couple hours away. If you’re not
willing
to drive, then after we find Simmons I’m bunking somewhere for the night. No way am I driving all the way back to Parkview like this.”

The rest of the trip went by in silence. I drove under the speed limit, making the drive last as long as possible without arousing suspicion. I’d tried to get him talking a few times. That had been interesting. Even though it hadn’t worked, and despite the fact that he wasn’t himself and thought I was the enemy, it felt good to be near him again.

Somewhere out there was a shrink salivating to make me a field study.

Seventeen Spencer Drive was a rundown apartment complex on the edge of Burns, Connecticut. The inside reminded me of Alex’s old building. All it was missing was Ed, the drunk who sat in the corner of the entryway screaming obscenities at people as they entered, occasionally waving body parts not fit for public viewing.

We crossed the threshold and, without thinking, I passed the elevator and headed for the stairs. It’d become habit because Kale refused to step anywhere near one. But that was the old Kale. This one didn’t have the same hang-ups.

“What are you doing? Isn’t the apartment on the eighth floor?” he asked. When I turned, Kale was in front of the graffiti-covered double doors, mashing the up button.

The doors gave a sickly
ding
and I opened my mouth to argue, but shook off the urge, silently following him inside the thing he’d once referred to as a steel trap of death. You’d think I’d be happy. Taking the stairs everywhere was hell on my heels, but I liked Kale the way he was. Blister-inducing quirks and all.

We came to apartment number eighty, and before I could say a word, Kale pounded on the door like a mad man. There was a commotion on the other side and a rush of voices before the door opened and a puff of thick, pungent smoke preceded a mop of messy curls and stormy gray eyes.

The guy coughed and waved a hand back and forth in front of his face in a vain attempt to disperse the cloud. “Yeah?”

I took a step back and pulled a very surprised Kale with me. A contact high was the last thing an unstable ex-assassin needed right now. “Ben Simmons?”

The guy snorted, covering his mouth as a fit of giggles escaped. Oh, yeah. This would be interesting. “Ha, he wishes,” he said. “I’m Jerry Watson. His roommate.”

Kale mimicked Jerry, waving a hand back and forth to clear the air. “What is that smell?”

Jerry winked. “That’s the smell of pure nirvana, man. Want a hit?”

Kale placed a hand on either side of the doorframe and leaned closer. “If you hit me, I’ll kill you.”

Jerry’s eyes went wide and he stumbled back a few inches. I batted Kale’s arm aside. He growled in annoyance but I ignored him, flashing Jerry my sweetest smile in an attempt to get the situation under control. “Is Ben home?”
“Nope.” He focused on me and thrust his pelvis back and forth, grinning from ear to ear like an idiot. “Dude went to France for the week to see some chick he was cyber-banging.”

“Very classy.” I cringed at his visual. We couldn’t get to Ben, but neither could Denazen. That was a start. “So when’s he back?”

With a wicked grin, Jerry said, “Couple days. You can come in and wait if you want. I’m sure we could find something to pass the time, baby.”

Kale reacted before I could blink. One second Jerry was shooting me looks that would have made Curd—Parkview’s most well-known player—proud, the next he was rammed against the doorframe, face mashed and distorted as Kale’s hovered inches away.

“She’s passing her time with me. Is that clear?”

“Crystal, d-dude. C-R-Y-S-T-A-L,” he stammered.

Kale eased off, wrinkling his nose and rubbing both hands down the sides of his jeans. “Now
exactly
what time will he return?”

Jerry peeled himself from the doorframe and stepped back across the threshold, putting a safe distance between Kale and him. “Two days from today. I’m supposed to pick him up at the airport at eight p.m.”

Without another word to Jerry—or me—Kale turned on his heel and strode back down the hall toward the elevators. I started to follow, but Jerry stopped me.

“Is Ben into something? You’re the third ones to come looking for him in the last few days.”

“Third?”
Denazen must have beaten us to him, but who was the other group?

He shrugged, and I couldn’t help noticing how he lengthened the already wide distance between us, occasionally sneaking glances in Kale’s direction. “No idea who they were. The first guy was old. Like, in his forties or something.”

“He didn’t give a name?”

Jerry shook his head. “Nope. Just showed up looking for Ben.” His eyes widened and he stomped his foot twice. Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a small slip of paper. “Oh! But he did give me this. Said to have Ben call him and leave contact information. That this was urgent.”

I took the paper. It was a cell phone number. “This is better than nothing. You said there were two groups?”

“The second pair was younger. Twins with a kind of goth look and way freaky.”

Aubrey and Able.

“Did you tell them what you told me?”

“The old guy never gave me a chance, but I did tell the goth guys.” He inclined his head down the hall in Kale’s direction. “One of them was like him. Seriously strung out. I just wanted them gone.”

“Thanks.” I couldn’t really blame him. My bet was on Able, and that guy could be scary. Flashing him a genuine smile, I added, “We’ll pick Ben up from the airport.”

With a half smile, he closed the door and I pulled out my cell. The older guy could have been something completely unrelated. Maybe Ben had a bookie. Or possibly a friend or relative his roommate didn’t know about. Just because someone showed up looking for him the same day the toxic twins did didn’t mean it
had
to be connected to Denazen. Right?

Dialing the number on the paper, I glanced over at Kale who stood, annoyed, at the other end of the hall. With each ring, I told myself some innocuous voice would answer and put my mind at ease. But the phone rang five times before going to automated voice mail. No name and no voice, which equaled useless—not to mention suspicious. I could keep trying in hopes someone would eventually pick up, but something told me whoever this was wanted to remain anonymous. Disappointed, I hung up.

“Kiernan,” Kale barked, rapping the elevator doors. “Let’s go.”

And that was about the time I pretty much snapped. I loved Kale more than anything on this earth, but this guy I was road-tripping with wasn’t
my
Kale. He was an imposter with a bad attitude, no manners, and a slightly extended vocabulary. My guy was in there, I’d seen hints and sparks, but he was buried deep. I was determined to dig him out, but in the meantime I’d be damned if I let anyone—including Kale—talk to me like that.

I stalked down the hall, stopped a few inches from him, and poked him hard in the chest. “Let’s get two things straight,
Kale
. I’m not a dog. I don’t obey commands like sit, stay, or
let’s go
.”

His gaze fell to my finger, then lifted to my eyes, staying there. There was the smallest hint of amusement, but more than that, challenge. With a quirk of his lips, he said, “Is that right?”

“And the other thing? If you call me
Kiernan
one more time I’m going to kick your ass. My name is
Dez
.” I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed until it sort of looked like he was making a fish face. In the back of my mind, a small voice screamed that I shouldn’t irritate the unstable assassin, but I didn’t care. I’d reached my limit. There was only so far I could go before losing my shit. “Say it with me now—D-E-Z. Maybe by calling me by the right name, you’ll start remembering who the hell I am.”

He stepped away, eyes still on mine, and in a deceptively calm voice asked, “Is the loss of fear one of the Supremacy side effects?”

“Not that I know of.”

“Hmm,” he said, and turned to push the down button again. “Are you certain?”

Then I understood what he was getting at. Imagine that. The new Kale came with a twisted sense of humor. “You’re mistaking fear for intolerance. I don’t suffer assholes.”

The doors opened with a
ping
and Kale stepped inside. As I followed him in, he turned to me, lip twitching, and said, “Neither do I. We have something in common.”

13

I tapped the hood of the car and waited. Kale had the keys. We were just standing there and I was freezing. If we stayed much longer, I was going to lose a limb or two to frostbite. “Well?”

“Well, what?” he said, finally unlocking the car and pulling open the passenger’s side door.

“You’re the one holding me hostage. What now? We come back in two days?”

“Obviously. I am surprised Simmons exists. I’m interested to see what else might be true.”

I rolled my eyes and slid into the car as he did the same on the other side. “We have two days to kill.”

“We’re killing them together. I’m not letting you out of my sight until I have the truth.”

No arguments from me. If there was a chance his memories would return on their own, this would do the trick. Two days had to be enough time if they were treating him to a mind mushtini each and every day. All I had to do was bide my time.

“Then we should get a room. It’s after five and I’m ready to keel—but don’t get any ideas.”

“Ideas?”

“Us. Alone in a hotel room. Time to kill… You know.”

He looked me up and down and snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself. I have a girlfriend.”

I’d been joking—okay,
half
joking. “Yeah, I know.
Me
!”

He watched me for a moment with an odd frown, then fastened his seat belt and leaned back in the seat. “I’m actually starting to believe you’re not lying.”

A surge of hope welled in my chest. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m starting to think you really believe your own story.”

“You’re really redefining the whole love/hate relationship thing, here.” I turned the key. The engine sputtered several times but finally turned over, and I said a silent prayer of thanks. Being stranded in the ghetto with crazy-Kale was not my idea of a good time. “And I ask again. Where to?”

“I saw a motel when we got off the interstate. We’ll stay there for the night.”

“And in the morning? Simmons doesn’t get back to town for two days.”

“I’m sure we’ll think of something.”

There was a time not long ago when a statement like that from Kale would fill me with excitement and a rush of tingly possibilities. Right now? Not so much.

We drove back to town in silence, but I could see Kale watching me from the corner of my eye. It drove me crazy, but he didn’t say anything, so I didn’t, either. Let him stew for a bit. Alex was right about one thing. I couldn’t force him to remember. All I could do was be there, present the memories, and let the universe do the rest. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long. Patience wasn’t a virtue I rocked.

We ended up checking into a cheesy nookie motel called Frank’s Fantasy Facility, the only game in town.

“Well, this is…” I kicked the edge of the bed. It was one of those extra-large round ones with a full ceiling mirror above it and a collection of obnoxiously bright heart-shaped pillows scattered on top. “…creepy.”

“I don’t understand the reasoning for the mirrors. It seems dangerous.”

“Dangerous how? We don’t get many earthquakes in this part of the country so they’re not likely to fall…”

“There’s no privacy. Anyone in the room can see each move you make if one were to simply look up. It’s a flawed design.”

I started to tell him that was the point, but the ring of my cell cut me off. Pulling out the phone, I cringed. I’d known it was coming, but seeing Mom’s number flash across the screen sent chills down my spine. I couldn’t put it off any longer.

Kale leaned closer to see the screen. “Who’s Sue?”

I rolled my eyes and stepped away as he made a swipe for it. “When this is all over you’re going to realize how stupid you just sounded.”

Another swipe. This time he got me. Hand locking around my wrist tight enough to kill the circulation, he asked, “What are you going to say?”

“Nothing unless you let go of me before she hangs up.”

He hesitated, then begrudgingly let his fingers go slack and took a step back. “Don’t tell anyone where we are.”

“Believe me,” I mumbled, lifting my head toward the ceiling, then letting it fall to the gaudy pillows and obnoxious pink walls. If anyone ever found out about this, I’d never live it down. “I wouldn’t risk my carefully crafted reputation.”

He nodded, satisfied. “And put it on speaker.”

The second I hit the call button, I had to pull the phone away from my ear.

“What the
hell
do you think you’re doing? Get back here.
Now
.” Mom kept going like the Energizer Bunny on speed and I patiently waited for the screaming to stop before holding the phone closer and taking a deep breath.

“Mom,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “Listen to me very carefully, okay? And don’t freak.”

“Dez, do
not
start a conversation like that. It doesn’t instill me with any amount of confidence—especially when it comes from you.”

“Well, then fair warning. You’re not going to like what I have to say—but you need to listen.”

I couldn’t see her, obviously, but I knew exactly what she was doing. She’d sunk into the nearest chair, eyes squeezed closed with her thumb and pointer pinched tightly across the bridge of her nose. The Sixes at the cabin had dubbed it her
What did Dez do now?
expression. Before everything in my world turned upside down, I would have been proud to have an expression named after me. Hell, if Dad had done it, I would have considered life a victory.

“First, you should know that I have you on speaker.” Not that there was anything I expected her to say to cause trouble—I had nothing to hide, since what I’d told Kale was the absolute truth—but better safe than sorry. Head trouble off at the pass. That was my new motto in life. Well, one of them.

“Second, I went to find Thom Morris like Ginger asked. He’s been missing for a while. His mother has no clue where he went—but I think he’s still out there.” I glared at Kale, who sat on the bed staring at me. “I’m making a better than average bet that Denazen hasn’t gotten to him yet.”

“And why would you say that?”

“Because Denazen showed up looking for him, too.”

I could practically
hear
the change in her demeanor. There was a thickness to the air that would require a chainsaw to hack through. “Dez, come home right now.”

And
this
is where the fun part of the conversation started. “I can’t. I’m—I’m here with Kale.”

There was a few moments of silence, and I couldn’t tell if it was good silence or bad. With Mom, it was usually impossible to tell. I probably would have preferred the screaming. At least I’d know where I stood. “Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay. I promise. There’s a name on the list, Ben Simmons—”

“How—”

“Did you really think I wasn’t gonna check out the rest of the names? You made it clear Ginger didn’t want me to see the list. What did you
expect
me to do? Telling me
not
to do something is pretty much the same thing as waving it back and forth in front of my face like a bright red, coffee-scented flag…”

“Point made,” she said angrily. “And lesson learned. Obviously you know what Ben does…”

A smidge of anger, ugly and sharp, bobbed to the surface. I still hadn’t fully forgiven her for taking Ginger’s side at the cabin, but knowing Ben was on the list and out there—possibly able to help Kale—and ignoring it? Totally different level of wrong. “And so do you. How could you hide something like that from me? If there was a chance this guy could help—”

“Penny Mills needs to be your priority. If you’re dead—or crazy—what will it matter if Ben Simmons can help Kale’s memory? Do you think he’d want that?”

“Right now it’s a nonissue. Priorities have changed whether we like it or not.”

“Changed? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means,” Kale said, leaning closer to my cell, “that I want the truth. If Ben Simmons can give that to me, I intend to have a talk with him.”

Mom was quiet for a minute. When she spoke again, her voice had that tone. The dangerous one that hinted she was about to lose her temper. I’d seen it happen. It wasn’t pretty. “And what does that have to do with my daughter?”

“Because if Simmons confirms what your daughter claims, then she is telling the truth and I’ve been lied to. If he tells me there’s nothing wrong, then your daughter is lying. And if she’s lying, that means my friends are telling the truth. And that means she and I have unfinished business.”

“And what makes you think we won’t intercept you?” Mom asked with a hint of amusement. I could almost see the smile creep across her face. “We know where Simmons is, too. We could simply take her back.”

“I don’t advise that,” Kale growled. “Because if anyone shows up, there won’t be enough left of Kiernan, or
Dez
, or whoever she is, to fill a paper cup.”

Mom took a deep breath. I could hear it as clearly as if I’d been standing beside her. “I love you like you are my own, Kale, but if you hurt her, I’ll kill you myself. Slowly.” Her voice was like ice, sending a chill through the room cold enough to freeze fire.

Kale stepped forward and picked up the cell. “Then let’s hope she’s telling the truth.” Eyes on me, he jammed the end button and tossed it on the bed. “She called you Dez.”

I stared at the phone, thankful it stopped bouncing right before tumbling over the edge. If I told Mom I needed
another
phone, she’d have a llama. This was the third one in two months. I snatched it from the bed and set it safely on the nightstand. “Probably because it’s my name. Oh, and this new personality? It leaves a lot to be desired. Alex is right. You’re kind of a dick.”

Kale didn’t answer. Instead, he sank onto the mattress and pulled off his shoes. I could try to get away when he slept. I’d probably have a fifty-fifty chance—okay, more like ten-ninety—but I had no intention of trying. As much as it hurt to see the disgust in his eyes each time he looked at me, this would be my only opportunity to get through to him.

“So…sleeping?”

“What about it?” he said, kicking both feet up.

“You expect me to sleep in the same bed as you?”

“That’s up to you.”

“How do I know you won’t roll over and dust me in your sleep?”

“I don’t
roll.
”

Hah. Kale, on a good night, would end up on the floor at least twice. Nightmares. Obviously it wasn’t an issue anymore. Still, I was worried. I looked from him to the bed, frowning.

He reached across and flipped the light switch, and the room went dark. “As I said before, no need to flatter yourself. You’re not my type.”

I hesitated, then sat on the opposite edge of the bed. If I could get him talking, maybe I could shake something loose. A memory or a feeling. I wasn’t picky. I’d take anything at this point. “And what would that be?”

“My type? I thought you said you knew all about my life. Why don’t you tell me.”

I twisted around and pulled my feet up, tucking them close. “Nothing I say to you right now is going to get through. You’re convinced I’m the enemy.”

After a few minutes, he let out a soft snicker. “Okay. Roz is strong. She’s confident and loyal. She’s there when I need her.”

“Congratulations,” I mumbled. “Sounds like you’re dating a German shepherd.”

I felt the bed shimmy, and in the dark I saw the outline of his figure rise. A moment later, his face moved into the moonlight beaming in through the heart-shaped window. “Roz and I fit. I can’t explain it, and I don’t expect someone like you to understand.”

“
Someone like me
. Exactly what is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re spiteful. I know you’re her half sister. Roz told me how she tried reaching out to you and how you turned away. She offered you help and in return, you tried to hurt her by hurting your father and me. All because you felt slighted.”

My heartbeat quickened. “What do you mean,
slighted
?”

A car drove by, its lights streaming into the window to reveal Kale’s serious expression. “Roz tells me everything. She said you were bitter about having grown up in foster care. You were in a horrible situation until Marshal finally came to get you, while she lived a good life.”

I lay on my back as close to my end of the bed as possible and rolled over to face him. “What else did she tell you about how her sister grew up?” I wasn’t willing to say
I
. That would only make him think it was a confession—or worse, a slipup.

“Your foster father was a drunk with a heavy hand.”

“I didn’t know.” What she’d done to me—to Kale—couldn’t be overlooked, but I couldn’t help feeling bad for her.

Little things started to make sense. Things she’d said when we first met. Comments made in passing during the months she spent at the hotel. Why hadn’t she said anything? If she was angry or resentful, why not just yell and get things out in the open? We could have been there for each other. We could have been family. Instead she turned to Dad, and because of that choice, innocent people were dead.

When I yanked myself from thought, Kale was staring at me. “What?”

“I don’t know,” he said, sliding back to his pillow. He rolled onto his side, facing me, and propped himself on his elbow. “You look…almost sorry.”

“It doesn’t excuse what she did, but I am. No one deserves that.”

Lips parting as if he wanted to say more, he bit down and rolled stiffly onto his back in silence.

Apparently the conversation was over.

I did the same, remembering the first time we were in a hotel together. How I’d gone to sleep thinking of our very first kiss. More than anything, I wanted to go back to that moment. To its perfect simplicity and the promise of things to come.

“Good night, Kale,” I whispered.